[He just wants her to say one word, say one word so that he could just put everything to rest and take her in his arms like he used to. Just bring her back to him. But the longer she takes and just stares at him, those seconds feel like hours and he can feel his patience straining and starting to snap. Seconds that allow doubt to sink in again, memories and reasons why they're so broken to begin with returning. Her tears do stir him, and there's the instinct to reach out and wipe them away.
...Like he wiped away those tears of blood, one last time.
He sees her, afraid. Retreating back in her corner and again he's reminded of how he first found her so scared and afraid. Distrustful. Just like he did then, he recognizes it, knows he's the cause of it. But unlike back then he could easily just step in and pull her out, be that "hero," the "savior" for her. But can he really say the same now? Does she truly see him as more of the villain of her life...?
Yet, the name that tumbles out of her name makes him stiffen, and she'll see clearly how his eyes widen, how the entire air tenses as if it could crack as he stops breathing for a moment.
Of all the...
Of all the people she could be thinking of now—!
It was the last pin that could shatter everything—the last straw that would just make him leave her and be done with everything—
You, of all people... you should know what Barnabas can do. What he would do...
If I am to survive, I—
I am not living in fear. I am doing what I need to do to survive, but you... you don't know...
Because I was afraid—!
Just as he looks as if the whole world was about to collapse in itself between them, looks as if he's about to just turn on his heel, her words flood back as he stares at her fear stricken face. Sees how much she's actually shaking.
It wasn't because of him.
He's not the one she considers a villain—]
What did he do?
[Immediately he rushes in, his hands once more on her arms—but this time instead of anger mixed in that desperation, there's concern. Fear of his own as he lowers himself more to her level.]
Benna, tell me—what did he do?
[New fears suddenly fly to his mind, things he never considered or thought of because he just didn't have those expectations. As much as he hates the man and knows what he's capable of, there are lines he would never expect Barnabas to cross. Even now he can't really fathom it and perhaps it's just the fear of a prey caught by a predator, the fear of what if, the fear of death but—
no subject
...Like he wiped away those tears of blood, one last time.
He sees her, afraid. Retreating back in her corner and again he's reminded of how he first found her so scared and afraid. Distrustful. Just like he did then, he recognizes it, knows he's the cause of it. But unlike back then he could easily just step in and pull her out, be that "hero," the "savior" for her. But can he really say the same now? Does she truly see him as more of the villain of her life...?
Yet, the name that tumbles out of her name makes him stiffen, and she'll see clearly how his eyes widen, how the entire air tenses as if it could crack as he stops breathing for a moment.
Of all the...
Of all the people she could be thinking of now—!
It was the last pin that could shatter everything—the last straw that would just make him leave her and be done with everything—
You, of all people... you should know what Barnabas can do. What he would do...
If I am to survive, I—
I am not living in fear. I am doing what I need to do to survive, but you... you don't know...
Because I was afraid—!
Just as he looks as if the whole world was about to collapse in itself between them, looks as if he's about to just turn on his heel, her words flood back as he stares at her fear stricken face. Sees how much she's actually shaking.
It wasn't because of him.
He's not the one she considers a villain—]
What did he do?
[Immediately he rushes in, his hands once more on her arms—but this time instead of anger mixed in that desperation, there's concern. Fear of his own as he lowers himself more to her level.]
Benna, tell me—what did he do?
[New fears suddenly fly to his mind, things he never considered or thought of because he just didn't have those expectations. As much as he hates the man and knows what he's capable of, there are lines he would never expect Barnabas to cross. Even now he can't really fathom it and perhaps it's just the fear of a prey caught by a predator, the fear of what if, the fear of death but—
He had to know. He had to be sure—]