[No. She was not prepared for that answer. Nothing could have prepared her for it.
And while he had made it clear that night, hearing him say it, and hearing him say it like that only serves to press that knife deeper, twisting and twisting with every one of his words until she feels like she can no longer breathe.
And she can't—what air she had has left her lungs in that very sharp hitch of her breath.
It's true. Everything he says is the truth. She remembers the days leading up to his departure well. Hell, even the months before that when they would spend less and less time together. Her nights would instead be reserved for the king when he called upon her, and it drove a wedge between them. No matter how much she loved Cid still, Barnabas found a way to pull her back.
Loyalty. She was always loyal. She would never disobey. She couldn't because a life of obedience was all she ever knew.
But because of that, further and further they became until finally, it all fell apart. Whatever worn threads that kept them together snapped, and he was gone.
Yet still, even now, there remains one. One single thread, tattered and pulled so tight that the slightest breeze, the lightest brush could very well turn it to dust. But it is there... It always has been, and right now, she can feel him pulling, just so.
Enough that it has her looking at him with a new look. Or perhaps not new at all—one that he should recognize as the same as the last night they saw one another within the walls of Stonehyrr.
Hurt, confused, and so very conflicted...
The look of a woman torn between what she wants and what she fears...
The swell of emotions is far too great that for a moment, it looks like she might not give him an answer at all. Her eyes dart around the cove, blinking quick as she tries to fight the emotions that erupt there, and her fists tighten, nails digging into her palm now.
Before she quietly spills a single answer. Or perhaps it isn't an answer at all...]
no subject
And while he had made it clear that night, hearing him say it, and hearing him say it like that only serves to press that knife deeper, twisting and twisting with every one of his words until she feels like she can no longer breathe.
And she can't—what air she had has left her lungs in that very sharp hitch of her breath.
It's true. Everything he says is the truth. She remembers the days leading up to his departure well. Hell, even the months before that when they would spend less and less time together. Her nights would instead be reserved for the king when he called upon her, and it drove a wedge between them. No matter how much she loved Cid still, Barnabas found a way to pull her back.
Loyalty. She was always loyal. She would never disobey. She couldn't because a life of obedience was all she ever knew.
But because of that, further and further they became until finally, it all fell apart. Whatever worn threads that kept them together snapped, and he was gone.
Yet still, even now, there remains one. One single thread, tattered and pulled so tight that the slightest breeze, the lightest brush could very well turn it to dust. But it is there... It always has been, and right now, she can feel him pulling, just so.
Enough that it has her looking at him with a new look. Or perhaps not new at all—one that he should recognize as the same as the last night they saw one another within the walls of Stonehyrr.
Hurt, confused, and so very conflicted...
The look of a woman torn between what she wants and what she fears...
The swell of emotions is far too great that for a moment, it looks like she might not give him an answer at all. Her eyes dart around the cove, blinking quick as she tries to fight the emotions that erupt there, and her fists tighten, nails digging into her palm now.
Before she quietly spills a single answer. Or perhaps it isn't an answer at all...]
Don't.