[She stiffens, first when he fingers the pendant against her chest, and then again at his question. It's a question she should have seen coming given everything that she's asked of him and everything that he's answered back, but she still wasn't prepared for it. A fool she is to not have foreseen it, because while she does, in her heart, know the answer to that question, it's allowing it to find its way out of her that's the hard part.
How does she voice something when she is scared that doing that much will be the first domino of many that will lead to her inevitably being left behind again? Even if he makes that choice to stay with her, even if he chooses her in this lifetime, there is still that ever-looming risk that he will be pulled back to their world without having a say in it.
What happened the last time she considered telling him everything? Spilling her heart to him?
And though this isn't that, it certainly feels that way simply by virtue of this whole thing hitting so close to home again.
It was one thing to have Barnabas disappear, and she is still reconciling that, but to have him disappear from her grasp too? What would she even have left? Even if she did have a choice to leave, what is it that she has left in that world?
Would Garuda still be gone? Would Barnabas still toss her to the streets? She failed him, so why wouldn't he, just like all the rest who do? He had said that he would count on her here, but she only bowed her head out of fear for the malice that swims in his eyes. That cold, invisible blade that he keeps pressed to her throat.
But here, with Cidolfus...
She has their promises, at the very least, and that's more that she can say for what she has in Valisthea, dead or alive at this rate.]
I have not forgotten, no...
[Is that all he's asking of her though? She feels like there is more weight to his question, but she doesn't know what else to say, or rather, how to say it without that ever-steady guiding hand of his. A steady, guiding hand that she seek out with her eyes, the rare vulnerability sinking into her gaze as she looks him over, silently asking him in that way she always has for his help.
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How does she voice something when she is scared that doing that much will be the first domino of many that will lead to her inevitably being left behind again? Even if he makes that choice to stay with her, even if he chooses her in this lifetime, there is still that ever-looming risk that he will be pulled back to their world without having a say in it.
What happened the last time she considered telling him everything? Spilling her heart to him?
And though this isn't that, it certainly feels that way simply by virtue of this whole thing hitting so close to home again.
It was one thing to have Barnabas disappear, and she is still reconciling that, but to have him disappear from her grasp too? What would she even have left? Even if she did have a choice to leave, what is it that she has left in that world?
Would Garuda still be gone? Would Barnabas still toss her to the streets? She failed him, so why wouldn't he, just like all the rest who do? He had said that he would count on her here, but she only bowed her head out of fear for the malice that swims in his eyes. That cold, invisible blade that he keeps pressed to her throat.
But here, with Cidolfus...
She has their promises, at the very least, and that's more that she can say for what she has in Valisthea, dead or alive at this rate.]
I have not forgotten, no...
[Is that all he's asking of her though? She feels like there is more weight to his question, but she doesn't know what else to say, or rather, how to say it without that ever-steady guiding hand of his. A steady, guiding hand that she seek out with her eyes, the rare vulnerability sinking into her gaze as she looks him over, silently asking him in that way she always has for his help.
What is it that he wants?]