[That had been what she was afraid of... that he would ask her what she would do were the roles reversed, because it is far too much for her. A commitment she isn't sure that she is ready to make fully yet, or so she tells herself. She falls back onto her fear of what lies ahead, of the unknown, instead of being willing to take that leap and know that he will catch her should her wings be unable to keep her afloat. It isn't that she is afraid of him—not anymore—but rather, that she is afraid that she will slip and take that tumble alone.
That she will end up right back where she was before all of this. Before all the changes that happened. That she will end up alone again. Sad. Angry. Poisoned by resentment and stilled by fear.
So, besides the hand that comes up to touch his and the pendant that he holds, he'll feel her freeze in his arms, her gaze cast aside when she can no longer hold his and can finally free herself from it.
Would she choose him, if given the choice? It's not something she's thought about much considering that she doesn't have a choice, but if she did... what would she do? If she were alive in Valisthea... if she had the chance to go back to her old life, would she?
Even now, after she has gotten a taste of this one? Of one that she had wished for, longed for all these years?
Her eyes sweep up to meet his again, and she's silent as she searches intensely, as if she'll find the answers she is looking for within his. She knows that she won't, but she can't help but do it anyway. A hard habit to break, even after spending so much time apart.
It isn't as if she doesn't know, or that it is him that she fears. No, she always knew how much her heart ached for him... but it is everything else that holds her back and keeps her rooted where she stands, toes at the edge and too afraid to jump. That has always been the way with her, and it still is, she knows this. It's why she continues to hide behind that resentment and wrath when it becomes too much for her to handle.]
Where else would I go, Cidolfus?
[The words spill out of her faster than she can think them. It might not be the answer he is looking for, but there is a deeper meaning behind it. One that she is trying to voice but can't quite find the right words to.
Where else would she go but to him? Where else could she go when every other place, every other person is either gone or would turn their back on her? Where else but to the only person who is willing to open his arms to her even after everything? To look past her faults and all the terrible things she knows she's done and still care for her in spite of that?]
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That she will end up right back where she was before all of this. Before all the changes that happened. That she will end up alone again. Sad. Angry. Poisoned by resentment and stilled by fear.
So, besides the hand that comes up to touch his and the pendant that he holds, he'll feel her freeze in his arms, her gaze cast aside when she can no longer hold his and can finally free herself from it.
Would she choose him, if given the choice? It's not something she's thought about much considering that she doesn't have a choice, but if she did... what would she do? If she were alive in Valisthea... if she had the chance to go back to her old life, would she?
Even now, after she has gotten a taste of this one? Of one that she had wished for, longed for all these years?
Her eyes sweep up to meet his again, and she's silent as she searches intensely, as if she'll find the answers she is looking for within his. She knows that she won't, but she can't help but do it anyway. A hard habit to break, even after spending so much time apart.
It isn't as if she doesn't know, or that it is him that she fears. No, she always knew how much her heart ached for him... but it is everything else that holds her back and keeps her rooted where she stands, toes at the edge and too afraid to jump. That has always been the way with her, and it still is, she knows this. It's why she continues to hide behind that resentment and wrath when it becomes too much for her to handle.]
Where else would I go, Cidolfus?
[The words spill out of her faster than she can think them. It might not be the answer he is looking for, but there is a deeper meaning behind it. One that she is trying to voice but can't quite find the right words to.
Where else would she go but to him? Where else could she go when every other place, every other person is either gone or would turn their back on her? Where else but to the only person who is willing to open his arms to her even after everything? To look past her faults and all the terrible things she knows she's done and still care for her in spite of that?]
... Who else could I choose?
[Who else would she choose?]