[But he's not saying that in an accusatory way. No, while they did become emotionally distant, they were also physically distant. She in Dhalmekia dealing with Hugo, him always sent on different expeditions to the point where he spent more time abroad than in Waloed.]
And you—
[Here he frowns, old words...voices that he had long axed away from his memories trickling in. His brows furrow and he studies her for a moment before he slowly speaks, watching her every movement and expression.]
...More than once. More than once, whether it was after your return from Dhalmekia or my own expeditions, I sent you a message to try and meet, but I can only count on one hand the number of times we actually did. Either you never responded or a messenger found me to say you cancelled it, saying you had other matters to attend to.
[With those "matters" usually involving Barnabas. The first few times he brushed it off because they were reasonable. Things happen, and she had her own duties. But then as they kept happening and he heard the whispers over time, he became more agitated and frustrated to the point that at some point he stopped sending those messages. Gave up any expectations...but still desperate and foolish enough to take whatever crumb he could still receive until that, too, he no longer could. But now...
...
The way he speaks, the way he looks at her is again not accusatory. It's careful questioning. Searching. Doubting his own words.]
...Did you really?
[Because if what she had said before is true—if she had really wanted to see him, if she had been hurting the same way as he... Then why would she avoid him to such extent? Why would she try not to meet with him?
Sure, some of them may have been true, but... All of them?
And now that that idea has planted in his mind, when he remembers how they were both manipulated in the end, more doubts grow.
no subject
[But he's not saying that in an accusatory way. No, while they did become emotionally distant, they were also physically distant. She in Dhalmekia dealing with Hugo, him always sent on different expeditions to the point where he spent more time abroad than in Waloed.]
And you—
[Here he frowns, old words...voices that he had long axed away from his memories trickling in. His brows furrow and he studies her for a moment before he slowly speaks, watching her every movement and expression.]
...More than once. More than once, whether it was after your return from Dhalmekia or my own expeditions, I sent you a message to try and meet, but I can only count on one hand the number of times we actually did. Either you never responded or a messenger found me to say you cancelled it, saying you had other matters to attend to.
[With those "matters" usually involving Barnabas. The first few times he brushed it off because they were reasonable. Things happen, and she had her own duties. But then as they kept happening and he heard the whispers over time, he became more agitated and frustrated to the point that at some point he stopped sending those messages. Gave up any expectations...but still desperate and foolish enough to take whatever crumb he could still receive until that, too, he no longer could. But now...
...
The way he speaks, the way he looks at her is again not accusatory. It's careful questioning. Searching. Doubting his own words.]
...Did you really?
[Because if what she had said before is true—if she had really wanted to see him, if she had been hurting the same way as he... Then why would she avoid him to such extent? Why would she try not to meet with him?
Sure, some of them may have been true, but... All of them?
And now that that idea has planted in his mind, when he remembers how they were both manipulated in the end, more doubts grow.
As does his anger.]