[And with each occasion, Benedikta shakes her head. She remembers each and every moment they spent together in those last months before he left, and none of those memories come to her. If she had received them, he would not be listing them today. She had so desperately wanted to be with him, so desperately wished he would still look her way, but by then, his eyes had fixed on some distant point elsewhere, somewhere far on the horizon...
The pieces should not be falling into place so easily, but they do.]
Cidolfus...
[She says his name softly, but firmly, as she leans over him.]
If I had known... I would have come... I always wished that you would, but—
[Barnabas. She stops herself, the unsaid name a chill that descends over her.]
I kept getting called away.
[Away from him. Away and away until that wedge had grown so thick that she stopped reaching out to him, too. Accepted that it was just the way things were now. Relished in the power that it gave her when she felt unwanted. Unneeded elsewhere.]
no subject
The pieces should not be falling into place so easily, but they do.]
Cidolfus...
[She says his name softly, but firmly, as she leans over him.]
If I had known... I would have come... I always wished that you would, but—
[Barnabas. She stops herself, the unsaid name a chill that descends over her.]
I kept getting called away.
[Away from him. Away and away until that wedge had grown so thick that she stopped reaching out to him, too. Accepted that it was just the way things were now. Relished in the power that it gave her when she felt unwanted. Unneeded elsewhere.]