[She listens, her eyes never once leaving his face as he speaks, watching those changes in his expression, letting herself get lost deep on those sad, verdant eyes that she could drown in. Watching how those hardened lines that she had seen so often as the Lord Commander fade away as he tells her about this place, this life that he had. She can see the differences as clear as day. She can feel them in the ease of his shoulders, the way his laugh tickles her cheek. She can hear it in his voice... Something that she hadn't known until she met him again here.
He once felt so far away from her, like an unreachable star, and as she listens to the way he talks about this new life of us... it makes him feel even further. Even as she sits in his lap, their arms around each other, his heart feels just as far away as it did in their years apart.
There is a new feeling that rises in her chest. It isn't anger or contempt, nor is it hatred, but it does leave a bitter taste on her tongue. Jealousy? An ugly feeling, to be sure, but how else is she supposed to feel when those regrets keep festering and gnawing away at her?
She cannot hold it against him though, because as much as she would have loved to blame him for it, she can't. He didn't know. She didn't know. How in the world is she supposed to trust anyone now? Her jaw clenches again at the thought, but she swallows down her fury yet again.
She grounds herself with him, and when his eyes close, she caresses his face.
Simple, he says. Freeing. A place where people could be who they were, not what they were...]
That sounds miserable.
[It's said lightly, however, as she slides back to his shoulder, holding him tight. An attempt to lighten the somber mood a little further as she huffs a laugh into his neck. Mostly in response to his little "cave" comment.
But it's partly true. How Benedikta would have fared in a life like that is anyone's guess.]
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He once felt so far away from her, like an unreachable star, and as she listens to the way he talks about this new life of us... it makes him feel even further. Even as she sits in his lap, their arms around each other, his heart feels just as far away as it did in their years apart.
There is a new feeling that rises in her chest. It isn't anger or contempt, nor is it hatred, but it does leave a bitter taste on her tongue. Jealousy? An ugly feeling, to be sure, but how else is she supposed to feel when those regrets keep festering and gnawing away at her?
She cannot hold it against him though, because as much as she would have loved to blame him for it, she can't. He didn't know. She didn't know. How in the world is she supposed to trust anyone now? Her jaw clenches again at the thought, but she swallows down her fury yet again.
She grounds herself with him, and when his eyes close, she caresses his face.
Simple, he says. Freeing. A place where people could be who they were, not what they were...]
That sounds miserable.
[It's said lightly, however, as she slides back to his shoulder, holding him tight. An attempt to lighten the somber mood a little further as she huffs a laugh into his neck. Mostly in response to his little "cave" comment.
But it's partly true. How Benedikta would have fared in a life like that is anyone's guess.]