Deep down, a part of her always knew what she was doing. It was always a question of whether or not she could freely admit that what she had been searching for was always him. She could find another man to try and quell those needs for a time, but it would always come back to rear its ugly head when she was with him. It had, and she'd fallen back into that same cycle again... and again...
And again tonight.
She always knew that what she wanted, what she needed was always right in front of her, and that no matter how high or low she searched for it in someone else, it would never be enough... because it never was. Even Barnabas, who she revered and feared, couldn't hope to fill the hole that Cid had left behind, and she's spent the last six goddamn years trying to.
But even as he stands in front of her, even as he has her full and undivided attention, even as her fingers are brought to his mask, green nails brushing over its details, even as her fingers curl over the edges...
Even as she gives it a tug...
Her breath stops, but her lips move in a slow, silent whisper of his name, almost like she is asking for that little push.
Because she cannot bring herself to fully remove it. To reveal all of the things that she's been denying all this time. Denying herself. Too afraid, and forbidding herself from wanting, and especially from taking...
Despite it all reflecting so clear in her eyes as she brings them to meet his again.]
no subject
Deep down, a part of her always knew what she was doing. It was always a question of whether or not she could freely admit that what she had been searching for was always him. She could find another man to try and quell those needs for a time, but it would always come back to rear its ugly head when she was with him. It had, and she'd fallen back into that same cycle again... and again...
And again tonight.
She always knew that what she wanted, what she needed was always right in front of her, and that no matter how high or low she searched for it in someone else, it would never be enough... because it never was. Even Barnabas, who she revered and feared, couldn't hope to fill the hole that Cid had left behind, and she's spent the last six goddamn years trying to.
But even as he stands in front of her, even as he has her full and undivided attention, even as her fingers are brought to his mask, green nails brushing over its details, even as her fingers curl over the edges...
Even as she gives it a tug...
Her breath stops, but her lips move in a slow, silent whisper of his name, almost like she is asking for that little push.
Because she cannot bring herself to fully remove it. To reveal all of the things that she's been denying all this time. Denying herself. Too afraid, and forbidding herself from wanting, and especially from taking...
Despite it all reflecting so clear in her eyes as she brings them to meet his again.]