escordvi | [open] september catch-all

[ Xenk waits patiently for Astarion to come back to himself. It's clear that the joy from earlier is gone, but this isn't too surprising either. Xenk knew that it would only be temporary -- much as he wishes he could ease Astarion's woes for good, that will only happen when Astarion's sire is dead. ]

You have no need to apologize.

[ Xenk shakes his head, concerned but no less willing to remain. Better to focus back on the bath. Boy, this sure worked out well for him! ]

The moisturizer in your hair should be ready to rinse now. I can assist with that, should you wish.

Edited (more xenk) 2023-09-21 05:34 (UTC)

Please.

[ He might have almost cried (okay, he did cry) but he doesn't want that to be the end of this. He moves closer to Xenk again, so he can help him with it. So he can have Xenk's hands on him again. ]

[ Xenk's gaze softens, happy to continue as Astarion turns around and shows his back to him again. Those scars are still there -- still a clearly marked brand from the one who held so much power over Astarion. Xenk has yet to offer washing his back for fear of upsetting him, but he may be just as damned if he ignores the whole thing and never addresses it.

A conundrum. But not one that needs to be solved at the moment. Instead, Xenk reaches forward and brings his hands back to Astarion's scalp, coaxing him to tilt back his head to soak and start the process of rinsing out the rest of the product. ]

If you would.

[ Astarion hums his assent and then moves so he can get under the water. Xenk's hands feel still feel so reassuring on him. He trusts him, completely, at least for the purposes of what they're doing now. He can surrender himself to it. To Xenk. ]

[ It is good to feel so trusted. It warms Xenk's heart like nothing else. Astarion is not a man who trusts easily, and so to see him acquiesce so easily tells Xenk that he is doing well. Xenk is of course gentle with his touches. He cups water in his hands to help with rinsing, and runs his fingers along Astarion's scalp to help the water do its job. His already soft hair is going to be even softer after this.

More than anything though, Xenk just wants Astarion to feel safe. So he hopes he can continue to succeed there, even as he runs fingers behind Astarion's ears, to catch any leftover moisturizer. ]

You may wish to run a hand through your hair, and see for yourself if any product remains.

[ The touch to his ears is still sensitive, even now, and even for all Xenk has been touching him. But only in a good way.

Astarion does as Xenk suggests and runs his fingers through it, checking. nothing left in it. It feels softer, maybe, but still very wet so it's hard to tell. ]

You got it all, I think.

Good.

[ Xenk smiles at a job well done. Even wet, Astarion looks handsome and dignified. Xenk hopes he'll enjoy how nice it will feel, once his hair has dried.

Now comes the difficult part, and Xenk gently rests his arm around Astarion's waist before he leans forward, offering up his body to rest against. Astarion's hair smells like oats and oils now, it's quite nice. ]

All that remains is your back and midsection. Would you like me to continue?

[ Astarion hesitates. He doesn't want what Cazador did to him to control his life. He wants to be able to say yes, to let Xenk touch him with such kindness.

But he knows it'll break him.

It's one thing to be touched during sex, which is more or less meaningless to him. A bit of fun. But this is meaningful. And the kindness burns in its own way, even if positively.

He's not ready, he decides finally.

He shakes his head. ]

I can finish up.

[ The apology is on the tip of his tongue but he doesn't say it this time. He knows Xenk doesn't want or need an apology for this. ]

Edited 2023-09-21 15:28 (UTC)

As you say.

[ Xenk nods, needing no apology, for he understands that Astarion deserves the space to handle his trauma in his own way, at his own pace. 200 years are not so easily forgotten, and the scars Cazador inflicted upon him are more than just physical.

He isn't disappointed. Astarion was still able to voice his preference here. That is still a victory.

Xenk leans back, grabbing another hand towel that lies within reach. ]

I will clean myself while you finish.

[ He's not gonna wash his hair so like even if he's meticulous, it still shouldn't take long. ]

[ He takes the washcloth then and turns around so he can face Xenk, in part to watch him and in part because he's feeling self-conscious about his scars. He takes care of himself, but he's got it down to a quick enough science so it doesn't take long before he's finished. All that's left is to stand so he can get his ass and his dick, but once he's done with all that he reluctantly, finally gets out of the tub. The water was starting to cool anyway.

He grabs a towel and starts to dry off, still watching Xenk. He may not necessarily be in the mood for sex anymore but Xenk is still attractive and he's right there. ]

All of this is worth it to get to see you like this.

[ Xenk is efficient in his own care, scrubbing each part of his body with his usual driven determination. It's not exactly sexy with how focused he is—he scrubs under his nail beds, between his fingers and toes, the works—but there is something to be said about being thorough. Having at times lived among other paladins, he feels no shame in cleaning himself while being watched. Even if the person watching him is very attractive.

They didn't do this to have sex, however, so that's a thought that's easily discarded. Xenk's body lacks any scars—more because of his curse than from a lack of injury. It is perhaps a bit strange, and others have made note of it, but he can't control it either way. He is, of course, perfectly built and exceedingly smooth. (Does he shave his chest? Is he just blessed? A mystery.)

Like Astarion, he eventually stands and cleans his privates with about the same efficiency as the rest of him, rinsing himself off without any preamble. His hands have begun to feel a bit pruny after so long in the tub, but he doesn't mind too much. He steps out of the tub and pulls the plug free from the drain, letting the water run its course. ]

I could say the same to you.

[ Xenk smiles as he says it. He really has enjoyed himself. Now they just need to towel off and rest. He holds out a hand towards Astarion once more. ]

Would you pass me a towel?

[ Astarion takes his hand but does not offer him a towel. Instead, using that hand, he pulls him down for a kiss and places his free hand on Xenk's cheek. This kiss is chaste, though, almost sweet. There's nothing rushed about it, simply a man giving gratitude to his friend (this is how friends treat each other, clearly) for the kindness he shared.

In the bath.

Another thing friends just do with one another. ]

[ Xenk allows Astarion to pull him close, leaning into the touch even as the kiss takes him by surprise. To have Astarion be the one to pull him close, and be so gentle, is enough for him to give in. It's a wonderful thing, even chaste as it is. Xenk can feel the thanks on his lips, a gratitude that needs no words.

He will stay in his hold as long as Astarion needs. As long as he can have it. For they are indeed good friends, and good friends support one another. And bathe one another. And kiss. Yes, that sounds right. ]

[ Astarion doesn't stay long. After a moment, he pulls away and presses a towel into Xenk's hand. This is a virtuous use of sleight of hand, you see. ]

Here.

[ Very virtuous. Xenk didn't even see it happen. He smiles even as Astarion pulls away, accepting the towel. ]

My thanks.

[ And yeah he's gonna towel himself off now. Again, not very sexy with how he's all about Efficiency, but it's how he is. It's who he is. Once he's done, he folds up the towel and starts to clean up the rest of what they'd used for the bath.

He's busy, as he posits the next question. Perhaps to take some of the pressure off of Astarion, or perhaps because he's more nervous to ask it than he would let himself believe. ]

Will you stay the night?

[ Astarion finishes drying himself off and then, while Xenk is cleaning up, sets about combing his fingers through his hair to get it all in the right place. Something he knows entirely by feel now, but at least it makes it easy to get himself all back in order after that.

He's expecting the question, though. It's obvious that's what Xenk wants--he got this room for them, and neither of them are expected on their ships tonight. Another first, aside from camping with his friends. But he'd never shared a bed with Tav. They'd fucked in the woods and then went back to their normal sleeping arrangements.

But after the hesitation, ]

Yes. I'll stay.

[ Xenk can't know it's Astarion's first time sleeping in the same bed as another person, but he treats Astarion's response with all the same reverence he gives to everything. Which is to say, his face brightens with warmth as he smiles. He is very happy to have more time to spend with Astarion, and to possibly hold him in the night, and help him feel safe.

He'd guard the bed, if that's what it took. But likely they'll want to actually sleep. His clothes neatly folded and the rest put away, Xenk waits for Astarion to follow out of the bathroom. The vampire's hair has a particularly fine sheen to it, thanks to that extra work that went into it.

But before he can say something foolish, like calling Astarion beautiful, Xenk focuses once more on the task at hand. ]

Are you comfortable sleeping in the nude, or would you rather we dress?

[ What a curious question. Astarion laughs. ]

I'm not ashamed of my body.

[ He said, you know, like a liar. But let him have this. ]

Also, I usually don't sleep. I just meditate for four hours.

[ sometimes he sleeps when he's really fucked up, like Vampire Rest kind of thing. But he's still an elf underneath that. ]

Ah, of course.

[ Elf things. Xenk also doesn't need to sleep much, though his sleep is always something in between a dreamless trance or a completely undead slumber. If he's technically classed as a Reborn, this is true!

But Xenk has no problem allowing Astarion his little lies. He merely nods and steps into the room, setting his clothes aside and rolling the discarded rope into a tight loop. The moon casts the room in a silver light—neither of them bothered to turn the lights on, did they? It isn't a problem for either of them, so Xenk has no trouble walking a straight line to the bed and rolling back the sheets.

This bed is a lot nicer than anything he usually goes for. There's a part of him that's embarrassed—he splurged in haste, taking whatever room the innkeeper suggested. Now they have this king sized bed, all to themselves. Tyr would frown on such an indulgence... but perhaps since it has turned into an act of kindness, it's alright.

To counter his own embarrassment, Xenk adds; ]

I often sleep in bursts, and require less than a normal human. I am told my stillness can be... distressing, but I imagine you will understand.

[ As ever, the comfort of having an undead friend is at least knowing he will understand. ]

[ Astarion follows. And then there's another one of those laughs, all irony and chaos. ]

Darling, I've slept in a coffin. The term "still as the dead" is not hyperbole to me. You'll have to do far more than that to scare me.

[ he crawls into bed with him, laying out on his back and taking up more than his half of the space. He sighs happily. ]

This is nice.

[ Xenk smiles, reassured by Astarion's comments. It's just so nice to have a friend who gets it! And he's so glad he can talk frankly and not get confused looks. He can just be his strange self and not feel self conscious. Incredible.

Xenk, for his part, lays on his back on his side of the bed and closes his eyes, sighing deeply.

It is so comfortable and nice, to feel soft sheets surround him and the weight of a body next to him in bed. Decadent, Astarion had called it earlier. ]

I must agree. This is very comfortable.

Thank you. Really. For all of this.

[ Astarion takes a deep breath. ]

Sleep well.

[ Xenk turns his head to look at Astarion. His honest thanks really are worth more than he can express. Xenk nods at him, a smile light on his lips and he turns back to staring up at the darkened ceiling. ]

This feels like true peace. So rare a gift, yet one I shall remember always.

[ Xenk relaxes, really relaxes, closing his eyes with a soft sigh. He even nudges his foot toward the side of the bed Astarion has taken up. It's probably involuntary. ]

You are welcome, as ever, my dear friend. May you sleep well.

[ this was all lovely but I'm sorry to say that after a night of nightmares and with a 22 stealth roll, Astarion is gone before the morning sun. ]

[ rip....

No, Xenk can't exactly say this was unexpected. Xenk rolls out of bed to the early light of dawn and sorts himself out, tending to his appearance as he always does in the morning.

He knows Astarion is a complicated person. And a complicated thief. A thief that he did somewhat punish (arguably) but who still made off with all of stolen goods. Damn. And they didn't talk about how he lied. Xenk sighs. ]

If this challenge is from you, Tyr, grant me the strength to endure it.

[ He is going to need to do some praying this morning to sort himself out. And then write Astarion a strongly worded letter... ]

[open] september catch-all

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