escordvi | [closed] 🐺 i know you're somewhere out there

[Zack lets out a laugh, looking up at the mountainous forest path with a bit of a scrutinizing look.]

I don't know, it could be pretty tricky even for me.

[He'll take some jabs at himself just for the fun of it. Of course, a little hiking wouldn't hurt either of them.

Besides, he wants to be here with her. Even if it's something like this it gives Zack that moment and that time to try and finish thinking through what they should talk about. And what Zack has to apologize for. All of it.]

But I think I'm up for it. It's been a while since I've been on a mission like this. Saving baby bears, and all.

[ She thought he might say something to brush it off, but Zack actually entertains the idea that the trail will be too much for a super SOLDIER with mako coursing through his veins. Her smirk turns pleasantly petulant, as if she doesn't want to admit he said something funny. ]

Something tells me it wasn't baby bears you were saving out there... [ That might be a little mean to say. She hums, flippantly. ] Okay. Tell me about a mission, then, Zack. A real one.

[Zack quirks an eyebrow at her but continues on! Something tells him that she doesn't quite believe his joke! This is pretty fair since first-class super soldiers weren't actually given missions like saving baby wild animals very often. No, it was always the high end super dangerous pain-the-ass missions. Saving a baby bear will be a field day for him.

That's why he sounds a little unsure about her request.]

Yeah? Seriously, you want to hear about the nitty gritty missions? Most of them were boring but sometimes I had a mission that really worked me hard.

[Honestly... It's kind of a touchy subject for Zack to bring up his old days now. Those days working for shinra seem like a painful memory from years ago now. Yet, he can tell that it might be something that Aerith wants to know about. Filling in the holes, if you will...]

There was this one kid that always got into trouble. A kid from Wutai that always sent me in random directions looking for... treasure. Believe it or not, they always made me go after her.

[And that was a lot of work- okay-]

[ "Boring" doesn't seem like something Zack would commit to. She wonders, briefly, if he's trying to avoid talking about them— fair enough. Aerith looks aside and keeps walking, as the terrain under their feet slowly begins to move from urban expansion to the naturalistic trail they know will eventually lead them where they are meant to go.

A knowing smile, small and understanding, is painting her lips as she listens to Zack talk. ]

And that was a lot of work?

[ Hm. Makes her think of someone else they both know; a kid who makes you do a lot of work whenever she's involved... ]

Know what I wanna know? [ This is a topic change. She thinks he will go with it. ] That treasure! Was there any truth to it?

[Oh, he did plenty of "boring" farmy fetchquest missions, believe him...]

You'd be surprised.

[Zack quirks a smirk.]

Sometimes the treasure she sent me looking for was a bunch of useless crap. I think she just wanted to send me in circles.

[Yeah...]

But sometimes it was really shiny stuff. Like bombs.

[Yeah!]

[ She's looking at him from the top of a particularly steep rock, the terrain already more natural and predictable. They're a stone's throw from civilization, but she hears the hum of bugs and the gentle whisper of wind tickling full branches, and it mixes with his voice. It really feels like, she thinks, sitting under the open roof of the church in Sector Five. Just for a moment.

The next moment she slips, boots sliding down the smoothed over front of the rock, hands swaying as she desperately tries to balance herself— ]

Zack!

[Maybe he gets lost in the light-hearted storytelling for a minute. For a brief moment, it feels like he's telling her stories in the echo of the church's main hall again. Her tending flowers, the smell of fresh petals tickling his nose. Easier times from a long time ago.

But the moment she yelps her name he's snapping out of the memory.]

Aerith!?

[He's instantly shooting to her, arms darting out to catch her damsel style if she slips off. Seems his reflexes are as fast as ever!]

[ Trust that SOLDIER juice to act quick. Aerith slips right into Zack's waiting arms, and when she peeks through one open eye to survey the damage, she is awash in deja vu. "My hero!," dances on the tip of her tongue, but.

It's Zack, and she's not so sure if that's where they are in their relationship, right now. Instead, she looks up at him, surprise written into her features, and breathes slow and even. ]

...Thank you.

[ She moves, as if to remove herself from his embrace, and adds, softly: ] Sorry about that. Slippery little thing...!

[ Regardless of how quickly or slowly he lets her go, she ends up with her feet solidly on the ground again, eyes trained to the dirt trail with the impressions of hundreds of soles upon it. With her head low, Aerith breathes out, half-unsure. ]

Hey, Zack? I... want to ask you a question. But you have to make me a promise first, okay?

Gotcha.

[He'll carefully set her down back on her feet. Safe and sound. For a moment it feels like things have never changed but Zack knows that ... maybe they have. It's been a long time since they've been able to just be around each other like this. And all of that missing time. All of those missing reasons why. The things they haven't said.

He's not sure he deserves any sort of thank yous from her. For all the heartbreak he gave her.]

Yeah? Sure, what is it.

Edited 2024-03-06 23:27 (UTC)

[ No time like the present, isn't there? Aerith has always said what she means, even when pirouetting around and around the meanings behind her words. It'd be impossible to pin her down, if you weren't Zack Fair, with his beautiful mako poisoned eyes and heart of gold. No matter what answer she receives, it doesn't matter: She'll always love him, and he will always be her first. Her first love, her first friend. ]

You're like Cloud, aren't you? Older than me... but you've seen more than me, too, haven't you?

[ Because for Zack, she won't dance around what it is she knows. There's no protecting him now. ]

[That's why he'll always love her too. It's easy to love Aerith, even with all her ways and all her words that even Zack can't piece together sometimes. She's someone who's incredibly special and would always be that bright light that Zack can find and think- yeah- everything's alright. Just take a deep breath.

Even now, when she asks her little question with that familiar tilt of her voice Zack finds himself feeling at ease and uneasy at the same time. Wondering where her line of questioning is going but knowing she's got a reason for it. Just take a deep breath.]

Cloud told you a little about that, did he? Yeah. I'm not sure how it works because it's way over my head but. Somehow we're from different times.

[He ruffles the back of his hair.]

He's always talking about this entire future that I don't know about. About this city, about Tifa and some kids he watches... It's crazy.

[But there is one thing that Zack has seen that Aerith doesn't know about. Or at least he assumes she doesn't know about it. Did anyone ever... Tell her? That he died.]

What you know, what I know? Honestly, I don't know how to start.

Oh, he didn't tell me. [ The clarification comes easily. Zack has never given Aerith reason to be anything but completely honest with him— perhaps it's a little piece of the girl he met in the church, years ago, that refuses to die, but she could never wrap her words up into something cute and palatable for him. It's complete honesty, bold, bright and perhaps a little cruel.

Her lips are still curled up into a tight, thoughtful smile when she speaks, when she listens. ]

Could be anything. [ Different times, different lives entirely? She won't claim to know. The lifestream exists in mysterious ways here, but Mako certainly isn't pulsing beneath their feet as they walk. ] Future Zack, and Past Aerith... what do you think? Great name for a band, right?

[ ...Ah, but jokes aside, with a voice that dips low and deep into her mind, an apology swaddled into her tone: ]

The thing is, Zack... not even I know what I know. Now that we're here, it's all pretty... different for me. [ She doesn't intend to let that hang in the air between them, in the breeze where it's swept away as her braid twists in the wind, flaps of her pink bow dancing. She wishes she could tell him everything; could she? The flowers said everything and nothing to her. Zack could understand, she's sure. But the truth is... ] Maybe before I would have been able to tell you everything. But right now— [ It's like watching the petals of a flower whose name you forgot disappear into the skyline. ] What I really want to know is if you're doing well. That's all.

Edited (WHOOPS) 2024-04-05 20:55 (UTC)

[The gentle rustling of the wind seems louder in his ears just for a fraction of a second. It gently washes through the leaves and flowers surrounding them like a melody he hasn't heard in years. He's never had a reason to keep the truth from her. He's always been as transparent as he can be. Except for the days when he physically couldn't tell her where he was. Trapped away in a nightmare of chemicals and hazy memories.

Her words make him watch her with a small thin smile of his own. He thinks he knows where this is going. The connection that they used to have- that sort of blossoming easy love that was going somewhere... is different now. Are they doing okay?]

Yeah. A great name for a band.

[He takes that second to try and piece together his thoughts.]

Everything feels pretty different for me too. Sometimes it feels like I don't quite fit into the picture.

[Cloud and his friends. Tifa, Red and Aerith. It's something he wasn't a part of. A distant thing. Not that he's jealous, no far from that. Just not part of the story chapter.]

But if I'm completely honest? I'm okay. Doing better than I thought I would be after I woke up here.

[He smiles at her easily. That same optimistic smile he can always get.]

There's a lot I want to tell you about. And a lot I want to say.

[ The pair of them are anomalies. Zack paints a picture in broad streaks of loneliness, and Aerith knows what he means, and that he isn't lying. She won't bother to try and give him pretty words to try and soothe that anxiety, to wash away the worries with falsehood. As he speaks, she looks up at him with a endlessly patient gaze, thinking to herself that she'd gladly hear him out until all of his problems were melting into the breeze, winter-bitten as it is.

It's on the tip of her tongue to say something like, "Neither of us are really in this picture, you know." The words die there, though, rotting away under a breath Aerith draws into her lungs as if to swallow them whole. Eventually, Zack is out of things to say, but there's a brightness to his smile, sunshine peeking through the verdant branches in her mind. Aerith just shakes her head and smiles. ]

Well, I'm here, aren't I? Whenever you're ready. I'm not going anywhere.

[ Yet needles in her brain, but even if she goes somewhere, it's to be by his side. They've both changed, haven't they? ] Not now or in the future. So, hey. No pressure, okay?

[ Aerith's hands find each other, clasping together as she takes a solid, steady step further, languid and cat-like in her movements. ] This picture... It's completely new, Zack. I'm glad you're in it. Really, I am. [ When she turns to look back at him, it's with a more relaxed smile. Hearing him say it: I'm okay. That alone is enough to make her think that this will work out. What can't they accomplish, together? A second chance to keep him well and alive plops down into her lap, and she'll take it. ]

How about we take it for what it is, then?

[In that airy way that she always does Aerith puts the wind back in his lungs. He still doesn't know how she does it so easily, that ability to be able to let Zack breathe when it starts getting difficult. Even now, she makes him feel like all the little worries and mistakes he's made are petals on the wind that can just blow away.

They're both not going anywhere. Yet. Whatever time they have now they should be using it to the fullest. Because that eerie feeling of something more happening to both of them is still there. Always.]

Trust me, I'm happy I get to be a part of this now. Getting a chance to see you, Cloud the others? It's like waking up.

[He lets out a small huff of laughter. Then his expression softens with a steadfast nod. Taking this place for what it is is one thing. Feeling at ease around her is another. But Zack knows when he should take responsibility for something that's long overdue.]

I want to take this for what it is. But there is something I need to say first now that I can. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I couldn't do. Everything I couldn't see. And for not being there when I should have been.

[As hard as he tried. It's no excuse.]

[ He says it like it's both the easiest thing he's ever done, to her ears, and hardest words he's uttered. There's no excuse, she agrees to herself. The smile leaves her face as though it were a leaf blown out into the wind, the slackening of her features easily spelling out the mood his words leave her worth. Mourning was always courting Aerith; mourning for the life she might have led without burdens, mourning for all the people she'd loved with that burden left on her shoulders, mourning for the world that needed her to carry it. She can't look at him for a moment, a fear that she hasn't felt in a long time capturing her heart in a tight, painfully unyielding hold. ]

Zack...

[ Her throat is honeycombed over with all the times she never got to say his name, smothered in her lungs like prayers stolen by fake holy men. ]

You never gave me a reason to stop believing in you. [ Finally, she builds up the courage to look at him. Still, he'll find no smile on her face. Instead, just the reflection of a teenage girl, who grew up too soon. ]

You don't have to apologize. In a way, now... didn't you keep your promise?

[Zack is very well aware that this was supposed to be a lighthearted nature walk for the both of them. It was supposed to be fun and without anything heavy chasing after them. They deserved that little bit of time since time has been stolen from them so many times over and over.

But he knew that he couldn't keep this to himself anymore, either. She deserved to hear him say it. He knew he had to own up to everything that he couldn't do for her, too. All the time he lost and all the time she spent wondering.

Even if her words now make him feel that tinge of hope and pain again. That easiness comes back. Like maybe he didn't fuck up so badly.]

You don't know how much that means to me to hear you say that.

[You never gave me a reason to stop believing in you. He can hold onto something like that. Even if he's still not sure he entirely deserves it.]

I do need to apologize, though. But ... Did I?

[closed] 🐺 i know you're somewhere out there

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