january crew adventure/catchall [OPEN!!]

[partybabysitter]

Who: Xenk Yendar + YOU!
Status: Open!
Where: All around! Some prompts on the Eventide and some just on Nogard, Elah, or Eltrut
What: Crew adventures, Manta board adventures, all sorts!
Warnings: There's a heat prompt in the Manta board this month so like. That's gonna be a thing, calling it now.

Crew Expedition: Exploration (Open to Crew)

[ No point in having a crew if you don't go out and explore! Captain Xenk and the rest of the crew of The Eventide have taken the ship out on an adventure? Where will they go? Will they just hang out on deck, lounge in the captain's quarters or perhaps find some turbulent seas? Either way, everyone is expected to do their part aboard the ship, so Xenk can be found above deck, checking on knots or keeping a steady hand on the wheel.

The wind is definitely blowing his billowing white blouse as he stands there on the deck. He looks amazing, all smiles as he announces their departure. ]

Hoist the anchor and let us take sail! [ Xenk laughs. Oh, he's enjoying this. ] The great unknown of the seas awaits, and the Tidebringers shall rise to meet it!

Crew Expedition: Bounty (Open to Xenk's CR)

[ Of course, the open seas aren't free of danger. With the sun down and the misty coastal fog looming in, the deck of The Eventide takes on an almost ethereal glow. It's quiet, one might say too quiet. Perhaps you're part of the crew, or perhaps you're simply aboard at Xenk's invitation. Either way, the clouds in the sky keep the night dark, and the howling call of a sorrowful, wailing cry rings from afar. But not far enough.

Xenk raises his sword, the blade already singing with its holy glow. He doesn't bother with his full armor on the ship, but that's one thing he always has at the ready. ]

The undead walk among us. Be on your guard.

[ He doesn't just mean him and Astarion, to be clear. ]

The Wolf Among Us (Eltrut)

[ Later in the month, Xenk can be found on Eltrut, surrounded by a litter of wolf pups. Two are presently held in his arms, while two others bite at the legs of his pants and snarl playfully at him. The sight of Xenk Yendar holding several wolf puppies is. Very cute. But he takes his training seriously! Even if he is sporting several shallow cuts and bites on his sleeves and hands. ]

Excellent work, Emberwood, Ashmoon. [ He's named them. And now he's calmly talking to the ones actively biting him. ] Now, cease your biting and sit so that your sisters may have a turn.

She's Sew Lovely (Open to Corsairs)

[ An escort for a trapped seamstress is exactly the kind of job Xenk signs up for with gusto. Moved by her plight and committed to her cause, Xenk is of course aboard the ship that is escorting her to safety in Eltrut. He's ever the noble, straight-laced Paladin than ever, in his half-plate and full kit. But alas, Xenk is only one man, and the ambush that meets their ship is one that has been clearly planned.

The Corsairs strike. A disappointing, but not unheard of conflict between the two factions, though with all of Xenk's friends (and paramours) in the Corsairs, he'd rather not turn his blade upon someone he knows. Whether you're meeting him on the deck or he's chased you down to the seamstress' cabin in question, Xenk arrives with his sword raised, though his words betray a clear desire to solve this without bloodshed. ]

Turn back now, for the good of all. No amount of fine fabric or faerie magic is worth the cost of this woman's life.

The Hanged Man's Gambit (Elah)

[ Xenk feels a particular kind of way about the Paladin behind the earlier months' incidents. That injustice was done is no question. That the Paladins took even longer to track the man down is also true. It should bring him relief to see man charged and the villain brought to justice, but this matter of public sentencing seems... macabre.

Xenk mulls around the voting box. He won't tell anyone to sway their vote or anything like that, but it's clear after he's cast his vote that he feels unhappy about it. Maybe if you're brave (and don't mind an earful) you can ask him for his thoughts! ]

Dost Thou Even Heft? (Elah)

[ Xenk is actually here at the competition to observe -- having quite high Strength himself, he feels it may be somewhat unfair if he joins. But that doesn't mean he can't enjoy observing the festivities, as strong bodies on display are always a gift to nature, or Tyr, or whatever excuse he might have.

The point is, Xenk is observing. And someone may have grabbed him and is trying to get him to participate. Perhaps even... you? ]

Very well, I suppose if I must participate...

[ He starts to strip out of his shirt, revealing that beautiful, smooth skin from underneath. You have to do this right. ]

Who would like to challenge me?

Comments

[subigito]

Some secrets protect people.

[ He'd told him that before, about lies. But this wasn't a lie, in his mind. There was simply no reason to tell him. With that taken care of, he walks past Xenk and out into the hall, obviously giving up. ]

She's lucky there's someone like you here to protect her.

[partybabysitter]

[ Xenk nods. He did tell him that. The secret of Astarion's vampiric nature had protected him. Would this protect Fenris from being hurt? Or would it hurt him knowing that he felt the need to hide it?

It's not Xenk's place, ultimately. He can at least reason it to himself that way. Still, he turns when Astarion begins to walk away. ]

Indeed. There are many more who do not.

[ Just as no one ever came to Astarion's aid. Xenk knows that too. This revelation wasn't just about keeping a secret from Fenris. It's why he asks: ]

May we speak on this when we return home, or would you rather let it lie?

[subigito]

[ Well he didn't have to say it out loud. But he's right, of course. Astarion didn't have anyone come save him. A fucking nautiloid accidently saved him.

He shifts uncomfortably, one hand on his ring of return already. ]

You know I would rather not speak on anything emotional.

[ But it's not a no. He leaves him with that, using the ring's magic to take him back home where he, of course, goes to brood. ]

[partybabysitter]

[ You know Xenk, if it's obvious enough he'll want to point it out and say it.

Though Xenk also knows Astarion would rather not speak on those things, that doesn't mean that talking about it isn't helpful -- it certainly has been, every time they've spoken about their feelings. He can tell the situation is painful for him, and letting it lie will only make the hurt grow.

Thus with that in mind, Xenk wraps up the mission as quickly as possible, returning home once it's clear the Paladins have things well in hand. Once he arrives at home, he makes his way directly to Astarion's room. He does not bother knocking, but he opens the door slowly all the same. ]

Astarion? Are you in?

[subigito]

Mm.

[ That's all the response he's going to get. Astarion is curled up in his bed, hardly visible between all the very many pillows and with the blankets draw up. Not a light on in the room, curtains drawn tight. He's doing a very good impression of a brooding vampire here. ]

[partybabysitter]

[ Xenk steps into the room, not bothering with any lights as he steps up to the bed. He sheds his outer layers, boots, and jacket, before pulling up a corner of the covers and pillows lay beside him. He will cuddle him unless Astarion pushes him away. (He is still not the best at it, but he is working on it.)

He doesn't say anything. There's hardly a need to, when it's clear that Astarion is upset. Astarion will speak if he wishes to speak. Regardless, Xenk would be there for him. ]

[subigito]

[ Astarion lets Xenk cuddle him, but he stays quiet, allowing Xenk simply hold him for now. There's so many emotions trapped inside of him, struggling to get out but unable to. It's too hard to articulate what it made him feel to know he might have actually taken that fae woman back to her captor if it wasn't for xenk showing up. ]

[partybabysitter]

[ Xenk wraps his arms around Astarion's middle, slotting a leg between his, and resting his chin at the crook of his neck. He is glad he could be there, to keep Astarion from making a mistake he wouldn't want to come back from. With his own past and Fenris', it would have hurt them both.

More than that, Xenk agreed to lie about it. Well, not lie, not directly, but he promised not to tell Fenris, and the promise feels almost the same. Almost. Enough that Tyr is surely watching him, but he hasn't broken his Oath just yet.

Perhaps the strangest thing is Xenk does not fear it. He has all he needs here. His magic is not more valuable to him than Astarion or Fenris are. These may be dangerous thoughts to have, but he cannot bring himself to regret them for a moment. ]

[subigito]

[ Astarion laughs lightly when he feels Xenk's leg. It's a lightness he doesn't feel in himself, but at least he can pretend. ]

I don't suppose we could simply have sex and never talk about earlier?

[partybabysitter]

[ Xenk smiles at Astarion, knowing him well enough to know he both is and isn't kidding. ]

I don't think that would ease the emotions you are currently struggling with.

[ He props himself up on his elbow, still huddled in closely. ]

I know you do not wish to talk about it, but would you share your thoughts with me regardless?

[subigito]

I don't know about that, it might ease my emotions for a little while.

[ He turns to look at him, giving into the idea that they were going to be talking about feelings in spite of his deep desire not to. ]

What do you want me to say? I imagine it's all rather obvious.

[partybabysitter]

[ Xenk's smile remains, knowing Astarion intends to continue despite his words. ]

All the same, it may feel more fulfilling to speak on it.

[ Xenk's hand trails over Astarion's side, settling at his hip. ]

You were led astray.

[ Calling a person "property" is certainly one way to get people to get her back. ]

[subigito]

I should have known. It said "dead or alive," I just assumed it meant...an animal of some sort.

[ Astarion sighs. ]

It seems obvious, in retrospect.

[partybabysitter]

An easily overlooked detail, whose intent was to mislead. I would have assumed the same, had I seen it myself.

[ It might not be a huge relief considering how literal Xenk can be, but you know. He would have. ]

You need not berate yourself.

[subigito]

I might have gone through with it, if you hadn't shown up.

[ This is why he's berating himself, really. Not for being misled. That's something he would be mad at the listing for. But for the fact he almost did it. ]

It's like you said, no one was ever there to save me. Sometime I think there's no reason that others ought to have better than I did.

[partybabysitter]

So often pain begets pain. And it is no small pain you bear, Astarion.

[ Xenk has seen how pain makes people lash out. He knows how desperation leads some to band together, and others to turn on their fellows.

Yet he knows Astarion's heart. Even if he has done this, Xenk would find it in his heart to forgive him. The hurt in Astarion is a wound 200 years fresh. Any soul could break to suffer so—but Astarion perseveres, despite his fears or missteps. Change doesn't happen overnight. ]

Would you regret it, had you gone through with the deed?

[subigito]

[ Astarion considers this for a moment. Really considers it. But all he can come up with is: ]

I don't know. Maybe, after the fact.

[partybabysitter]

[ Xenk would expect no less. He knows this hard for Astarion, but even considering it is important! ]

I do not blame you. For every person the gods save, they condemn thousands in their negligence. For every intercession, there are thousands more who could have used that very aid.

[ He runs his hand gently down Astarion's side, in a soothing gesture. This is a liiiiittle close to sacrilege, but he knows he can be honest with Astarion, and share his doubts and feelings with him. And Xenk can believe in spreading Tyr's justice while still knowing that it's a luxury that few can afford. ]

In these unfair worlds, every act of kindness is an act made against a world where countless suffer each day. Receiving aid is so rarely a matter of deserving, and more often an act of chance from a kind soul... just as it was today.

[subigito]

I don't think I can be counted as a "kind soul" after what I just admitted to.

[ Astarion shakes his head. But even he has to admit the touch is comforting. He closes his eyes for a moment and breathes deep, muddling over Xenk's words. It would be unkind of him to point out how Tyr certainly doesn't feel that way but he doesn't want to shake Xenk's faith.

He opens his eyes again and just watches Xenk for a moment. ]

It wasn't a kind soul that saved me, either, you'll recall. It was a mindflayer. And a series of, quite frankly, extremely lucky events.

[partybabysitter]

A capacity for cruelty does not absolve you of your kindness.

[ Xenk speaks softly, his gentle touch unperturbed despite his words. He doesn't mean them damningly. Quite the opposite. Astarion may be a vampire spawn, but he's proven to be a good person, whenever his pain is allowed to fall away. But even lashing out in pain doesn't make it his fault. They have Cazador to blame for that.

Still, his words don't deter Xenk at all. He keeps his eyes on him, loving and merciful as ever. He smiles. ]

Luck, good or ill, plays a large part, I will admit.

[ Without the horrid mind flayers, Astarion would have remained trapped. He would be unable to see the sun. It's bad fortune and good fortune, all wrapped into one. If anyone knows about mixed fortunes, it's Astarion. For all his curse, Xenk's luck steers far better, he knows. It brought him here, after all—and it brought him to Astarion. Perhaps he's meant to help his luck take a turn. ]

Whether our fortunes be due to godly intercession or simply a series of random acts and circumstances, the result is the same: you did not harm the woman, nor return her to her captors. The very same luck placed our paths in opposition, the choice to leave was ultimately yours.

[subigito]

[ Astarion can't help but laugh at the wording, a little hollow, perhaps, but a laugh nonetheless. That his kindness would need to be absolved. Not a very Tyrian way to put it, but it's certainly the right answer to the way Astarion has been going on about it. Insisting, at every turn, that he is evil. It's easier that way, he is certain. So that he won't end up disappointing anyone when it turns out to be true.

But it is also true that he ultimately did decide to leave her in Xenk's care, regardless of the reason. It's the logical kind of thing he'd say to anyone else. But he expects Xenk to judge him more harshly, as any other paladin would.

And, really, maybe some part of him wants to be judged. To be punished. To be told that he's not right. He'd bristle against it, of course, and they'd fight. But somehow, ironically, that seems like the more satisfying conclusion here.

Perhaps not so ironically given the life he's led.

To be, instead, given compassion is something he doesn't really know what to do with. ]

Fine, yes, I suppose that's true.

[partybabysitter]

[ Compassion is, after all, one of Xenk's tenets. Tyr's laws may call for justice, but Xenk's Oath leaves room for both. At his discretion, of course. Those he cherishes, those he loves, get the brunt of it. But he would grant mercy to any who show remorse for their actions. (Just, you know, extra when it's someone he's very much in love with.)

And ultimately, for all that Astarion fears his own cruel impulses and his own theoretical mistakes, he has proven to make good choices when offered them. He has proven to show remorse for acts, and even thoughts, of cruelty. He is not so evil as he thinks he is, though Xenk knows it is difficult for him to believe it. Two centuries is a very long time to be told you are worthless, to be treated as though you are worthless, and to perhaps even believe that you are worthless. With a life so long, one could hardly blame him for defaulting to cruelty, for he was treated so cruelly. It is the simple fact that he doesn't that Xenk loves so dearly. With so much pain in his heart, his kindness is all the more valuable. ]

You see? There was no harm done, no pain furthered for ill gain.

[ Xenk reaches forward to tuck a stray lock of Astarion's hair behind his ear, smiling softly at him. Astarion may never see himself as kind, perhaps. But he will have Xenk there to remind him, as long as he needs. ]

You chose to be kind.

[subigito]

[ Astarion allows Xenk this simple touch, not pushing him away. He's sensitive to it when Xenk's fingers run along his ear, but he doesn't mind. It's nice. Reassuring. ]

I chose not to get into a fight with the people I love over it. But I suppose if I cannot have a conscience of my own, you'll be a good enough substitute.

[ In a way, that was how Tav was, too. ]

[partybabysitter]

[ Xenk's smile quirks a bit, shifting to a smirk. This is one of those turns of phrases, isn't it? Or. No, a metaphor. Or perhaps not. In either case, Xenk doesn't mind it. ]

It would be an honor, my love.

[subigito]

[ Astarion reaches over, finally coming out from his cocoon of blankets, to cup Xenk's face with his hand, running his thumb along his cheekbone. ]

You're ridiculous sometimes.

[ He huffs out an affectionate laugh, though, and shakes his head. ]