escordvi | closed ⚡🪶 and forevermore, i'll be chasing the storm we had.

[He can see her thoughts turning, and he wonders, did she realize? Did she finally understand or figure out why he did what he did? Part of him hopes she doesn't realize the full truth, but another is curious to know what she would think or feel if she did.

The one who sent him on that journey. The one who gave him a reason to act indirectly, to create that world in the only other way he could.

For her.]

It wasn't easy.

[But he won't tell her. Not now.]

I was fighting against an entire social system ingrained in everyone's minds. Which is why the first thing you absolutely need isn't about logistics or people, but about yourself. And that is having faith.

[A firm look as she may remember him saying those words in what seems like a lifetime ago when it really was only months back atop that caer.]

No matter how tiring, stressful, or amount of deaths and failures you face, you have to have faith in what you're doing. And with it comes acceptance and resolve to continue no matter what happens. You have to not only learn to accept that you can't save everyone, but be able to continue to save the ones that are still left.

Edited 2024-02-04 07:39 (UTC)

["You have to not only learn to accept that you can't save everyone, but be able to continue to save the ones left you can."

Does he know how much those words twist and coil like vines around her heart? She wonders... because was she one the ones he thinks he couldn't save?

The problem... is that shaking off the indignant pride that she thinks she can save them all is a hard one. This is not such a big undertaking as his mission, even if she still doesn't understand what the true depths of it had been—it's nothing like going against an ingrained system, and she's sure that there are others out there who would agree with her.

But are there others who would be willing to do the same? The fact that there were more Corsairs than just them who had gone after her, how many of them turned a blind eye when they found her? And how many turned around and left her to be?

She's still shaken that she had fallen for it at all.

She finally lifts her gaze to him, a spark of familiarity in her eyes.]

Fighting for something you believe in, hm?

Edited 2024-02-04 07:45 (UTC)

[He knows how she is and knows she will need time, so all he does is continue to give her those gestures of reassurance.]

It's the only way to have that strength to keep going, to make it matter.

[Another gentle stroke of his thumb before he squeezes her hand.]

You should at least think about it. Maybe try something small once, see how it goes. And if it is something you want to pursue, I'll help. I have a little experience, after all.

[A small little joke to try and loosen the heavy air a little.]

[She snorts quietly under her breath, the familiarity now lighting up into fondness.

Benedikta has not forgotten the words he'd said to her atop the Caer. She had denied it at the time, but... she thinks she might be beginning to understand it now. Maybe she could use this fury that storms in her chest and do something with it. And maybe it will silence Garuda for a while longer, too.]

And what exactly would I do?

[Should she find others who are like her.]

... Where do they go?

[After she kills the people behind it. The people who put them there in the first place.

But by the determination in her voice, it's clear that this is something she is considering.]

[There's that rough smile that also holds fondness towards her as he contemplates.]

I doubt anyone will protest, but at least as a temporary measure they could stay with the Hideaway, especially once I finalize a base of operations, one away from Nogard.

But we can't be charity service, we don't have the means or infrastructure for that. So unless they actually want to work for us, those you help will need to figure out their own path afterwards. Of course we can try and provide some direction, but after that they will have to be on their own.

[She meets his gaze evenly.]

Was that how it was?

[Much as she tries to hide that hope in her eyes, or to even snuff it out completely to set some more realistic expectations, as he said, it's impossible to kill it.]

Did a lot of them leave?

[Find their own paths...? Their own freedom?

And she isn't just asking for the Bearers or anyone she might find here...]

[She knows what she's asking, but...

There's something of a sad smile as he taps his cheek.]

Bit hard when you're branded.

[Which should answer that question, unfortunately.]

But for those who managed to avoid it or the others we helped, yes, they were able to. And they would serve as vital network pieces, providing information or even supplies when they could.

[It does.

And there's something of a conflicted expression that crosses Benedikta's face when she realizes. She'd spent a long time looking down upon the Branded as lesser than her—lesser than the Dominants. Clive Rosfield certainly did not help that matter... so she's still not quite sure how to feel about it.

She isn't going to argue, though, because she at least knows what Cid says is the truth. She was just part of the system that made it difficult for those who were Branded...

It leaves an acrid taste in her mouth that she washes down with coffee.]

And if they were to decide to work and stay... then you will let them?

Of course.

[A light smile.]

So long as we have the room, they adhere to our rules, and lift their weight, there's no reason to push them away. Besides, if we can find some skilled talent, then all the better for us to be a little more self-sustaining.

[He may not be trying to create a while new social system, but as a standalone crew never hurts to have their own medic or smithy or the like on hand just for ease.]

[Benedikta's shoulders release the tension that had been sitting within them with a sigh, and her fingers loosen around his hand. Though she doesn't let go. And there might be the slightest quirk of her lips, a sad, soft smile to mirror his.

He is far too good sometimes. Too good for her. Too good for her weak little heart... How the world does not wear him down more than it has, she doesn't know. She knows of that weight he bears on his chest, the heaviness of that burden he chose to carry, but that he could pick himself up so easily?

How...

She just gives a small nod of her head in understanding, allowing that information to sit.]

I would like to find that woman... and check in on her.

[He gives her hand a gentle squeeze.]

She's likely under protection, but it might be possible. After all, we have the best intelligencer sitting her right at this table, do we not?

[A light quirk of his lips.]

[She rolls her eyes fondly at him.]

We do.

[That much, she will admit. She was very, very good at her job.]

Though, with what little I still know of this place, it makes it a little harder. [Her eyes rest on him.] ... What about your men?

I can send them out, too.

[A wry grin.]

Trust them now?

[Her gaze narrows at him.]

You should know better by now that I trust no one.

[Except maybe him, and even then—]

However. I trust that they also know better than to feed me false leads and information, and what would happen to them if they do.

[That is far from an empty threat.]

Hah.

[That gets a small laugh out of him as he shakes his head.]

That, my dear, is quite certain. But they'll be able to pick up a few leads, especially the ones stationed in Eltrut and Elah.

[She preens like the proud little peacock that she is. That's right, they should absolutely fear her wrath.]

And what of the man? You've heard nothing about his whereabouts since from them?

You'll have to give them more than a few hours notice to get anything meaningful.

[A quiet laugh.]

But you will be the first to know once they find something. You may think them odd, but being able to work with food products can get you quite a bit of information. Such as any food products being sent somewhere odd or unusual.

[A grin.]

Especially for a man that seems to have deep pockets, that taste for luxury will be his undoing. But that's just one avenue, there are other ways to sniff out a rat if you're creative enough. Unfortunately my network isn't as expansive as it is back home, but it's at least a start.

I'm sure you can think of other ways as well.

[She's impatient, and she even shifts in her seat a little at that lack of news. She'd gotten her hopes up that maybe he might have received a message from one with news on a spotting, or whispers...

At his suggestion, however, she does tip her head.]

Other ways?

[She was fairly good at sniffing people out in Valisthea, but she, too, had a wider network of people. Men that she could trust to bring her the information that they found. Her men... something that she does not have anymore. Not here...]

...If only my sisters were not so noticeable...

[He knows she's antsy and it can't hurt to give them a little nudge.]

Can you make them smaller?

Smaller? You mean like your miniature Ixion?

[She scoffs with a laugh, but her eyes say that he could be onto something.

However—]

I wonder if they would even be keen on that...

You'd have to ask them.

[Musing as he looks out the window at the birds flying around the little bird house and feeder they had gotten back during that Ghoul's Moon festival.

...Wait.]

...Birds?

[Her eyes follow his to the window, the soft sound of chirping drawing her attention.]

Birds?

[She echoes with some disbelief.]

You know that I can't speak to them, right, Cidolfus?

No—I mean what if you made them to look like birds? Or made new ones entirely?

New...?

[She didn't even think it would be possible, but...]

I might be able to change their form... given the time and practice... And you are suggesting they scout Eltrut and Nogard?

Aye. Doubt the bastard would be anywhere near a Paladin stronghold.

[He's still staring at the birds, however, a contemplative furrow of his brow and frown on his limits.]

Only thing is you would be limited on how far your magick can last, and I don't like the idea of you using up your aether. If you really could talk with birds or something else...

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