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Welcome to the Test Drive Meme for

escordvi! Anyone can participate in the test drive, regardless of invite eligibility. Just keep in mind that only those who have received invitations from the mods can only reserve on February 23rd and apply on March 1st. Our EMP/ATP can be found here.

For your toplevel, please include the following: Character Name | Canon | Armada Choice | TDM (IF TDMING). Current players can use the same header, just without the "TDM" label. We do require those who are TDMin'g to include the label so other players can distinguish between others.

For everyone's convenience, TDM threads can be carried over in game if you wish! If you are still unsure which armada to place your character, you can play it a bit loose and vague in the TDM and make retroactive changes if you carry over the threads. The log itself is set to cover starting from October 13th until the end of the month. Characters will appear at random intervals during this time rather than all at once, so players have some more flexibility on how much more adjusted they are for someone else.

If you have any question about the TDM, comment here. If you have questions about the game in general, please comment to the Game Info.

TOPLEVEL DIRECTORY (Updated 2/16)

GETTING STARTED

This section can be timed for any time after February 10th until the end of the month, which includes during the current event. These prompts are to benefit those TDMing, but this portion can be handwaved instead and be served as a reference for players to know what their character will have experienced and learned on arrival.

STARTER SHIPS

There are two ships that serve as starting ships for each armada: Stormbringer for the Corsairs, and Royal Fortune for the Paladins. There are various ways new arrivals—or riftfarers as they will be called, among other creative names—will appear on or by these ships. The crews for both ships will also seem a bit odd to some, as it is a mix of humans and various animalfolk, non-humans that look more animal than human. Some just look like large versions of their smaller counterparts. From birds, to seals, to even bears, there is no shortage of interesting faces and people on these ships.

🚪 Random room. It could be empty, filled with crates or supplies; down in the hull where the livestock are kept; have the luck to awaken in a bed...or the misfortune of that bed already occupied; somewhere in the kitchens; in the bathroom—any room! Now let's hope the doors can open or someone may have to try and ask for help. Or jump through the porthole if there is one and it's above water.
⛵ On deck. If not in the ship itself, another possible spot to wake up to is somewhere on the maindeck. If they're lucky, they're on the deck itself. More unfortunate souls may find themselves caught in the sails or netting, the crow's nest, or on the top of the masts. Someone should be able to help, right? Or catch.
🌊 In the water. The most unlucky sods will find themselves appearing in mid-air just past the ship and plummeting straight into the water. Good news, there's always someone on the look out for such a thing and calls for help to throw a lifesaver get the rowboat will be made. Are there sharks? Well... ...Are there?

However the new riftfarers arrive, they will be poorly clothed, practically rags or loose uniforms depending on the ship. Fortunately, veteran crewmates will guide them, escorting them to a room with a strange typewriter in it. After typing their name, the typewriter will magically continue and type by itself at a fast pace until it dings and rolls out the paper. This paper will have the following information:

• Name and Shellphone ID (journalname)
• Armada (Corsair or Paladin, will match the starter ship)
• Cabin Number for their personal cabin on the starter ship
• Apartment Address for their personal address at their base armada location
• A basic map of the starting locations in Eltrut, including written directions (continued in the Eltrut section)
• A basic map of where they can find a chest with their original clothes and belongings (this will be different for every person and will be anywhere either on the starter ship or on Eltrut—players can be creative here).

After that, the crewmate will do their best to explain the basics of how they got here, what's going on, and what they'll need to do to live in Escordvi while they are here, giving them a small leather pouch with money. They will be reaching Eltrut soon, so the crewmate will suggest they look around, meet the others who have arrived. Even from their distance, they will be able to see the giant sea turtle that serves as Eltrut's leviathan.

ON ELTRUT

Once in Eltrut, the new riftfarers will be greeted by several birdfolk who will be happy to give tours to those who may need them. Otherwise, anyone is free to roam as they please and will have a map for the following main places they should visit.

🐚 Microshell. The first stop that is encouraged will be Microshell, the main store to acquire their own personal Shellphone. The paper they received on their starter ship will have their ID and the staff at the store will set them up, explaining how the device and the network works.
✒️ Inkwave, Tattoo Parlor. The next stop is Inkwave, a tattoo parlor run by a very burly but friendly octopus, Knistej. Here everyone receives their own unique magic tattoo, allowing anyone to cast specific single element spells and other magic. Note: tattoos are required before anyone will be able to use their original magical abilities.
📜 MANTA office. The final stop is the MANTA office, where all the request, mission, and task notices are posted. Each armada has their own branch office for armada specific notices as well. A great place to find jobs to earn some cash so they don't stay a hobo forever.

OCARD: ISLAND OF DRAGONS

Early in the month, Nogard will travel to the island of Ocard where dragons of all types can already be seen migrating to it. A large island filled with clear blue lakes, dense forests, high mountainous cliffs, and even large, rocky platforms that somehow float in the air, it is the perfect place for such mythical creatures to gather, mingle, and hopefully find their mate and brood. While some dragons do remain on the island as permanent residents, the real "keepers" of Ocard are the dragonfolk. Living deep within the forests, they are a race of dragons that come in different sizes and forms, but have less magic and power compared to the larger ones. They help protect the land and ensure it continues to thrive so that the dragons can come and go without issue.

Those from Eltrut and Elah will have access to a special dragon-run ship that will cut through the waters and get them there within two days.

While it is impossible to cover all the types of dragons that are coming into Ocard, and there are many hybrids and mixes, they are generally grouped into the following types:

💨 Air.

Air dragons look like they’re made of diamonds with transparent bodies and fluffy feathered wings. They are gentle and peaceful and like to play. They will toss people in the air or give them the temporary ability to fly with their dragon’s breath. They like to play harmless pranks on others like stealing items, kidnapping people for rides in the clouds or impersonating the voices of loved ones.

🔥 Fire.

These are quadrupedal, lizard-like and have thick leathery wings. They are playfully aggressive and like to fight and show off their strength. They’ll do anything to show off their might which means they will challenge anyone and everything to a fight. But it is important to note that they’re not bloodthirsty. They just love competition and will back down if they rightfully lose. They have the ability to heal anyone after a duel and like to give winners shiny gold coins.

💧 Water.

These ones are fish and snake-like, with long bodies and fins and shiny lustrous scales. They spend most of their time in the water and like to jump out and make a show of dancing on top of the water and over the waves. They are performing creatures and love music and dance and will coax others to either swim with them or dance with them on the water’s surface. They enjoy lifting spirits and will give others bits of wisdom and life advice. For anyone who shows an appreciation for music, they will gift them pretty gemstones.

⛰️ Earth.

They are heavy, thick and dinosaur-like and look like they are made of stone and metal. They like to breathe on plant life to make it grow faster and love to munch on trees and bushes. They can make flowers grow in people’s hair and will give them sweet fruits to eat. They also enjoy talking and sharing stories and will often offer words of affirmation to those who need a boost of self-esteem.

⚡ Lightning.

These dragons look like they’re made of a thundercloud, with puffy bodies and electrical currents running through them. They are dreamers and like to nap or put people to sleep. They will give dreamers good dreams and curl up with them to sleep as well. They are experts in dreaming so if asked politely about the sleeping curse they will give others a black round amulet to cure one person each of the sleeping curse. It coughs up the amulet, so the requester will need to wipe off the sticky saliva.

🕶️ Darkness.

These dark dragons have huge thick leathery wings and dark metal-like scales and nails. They often breathe out black smoke and have dark-coloured eyes or piercing bright yellow ones. Despite their dark look, these dragons are not hostile in any way. They dislike fighting and would rather lounge around and listen to the world passing by them. Despite that, they like to inflict nightmares on sleeping creatures just to see them squirm or to make their dreams just a little more interesting. They might also know about the sleeping curse and can extract sleeping demons… If they care enough to help. They might need convincing in the form of many delicious snacks.

While the festivities of Dragon's Gale are the predominant attraction of Ocard, the island itself holds ample opportunities of resources and locations that visitors can explore… But the dragons will not promise any protection for those who venture further than the designated zones. Although dragons reign supreme, there are other monsters and hazards that can threaten not only non-dragons, but young hatchlings as well. Threats that the dragons will gladly reward those who help deal with them.

🌳 Poisoned Trees. Giant, poisonous spiders managed to infest and poison part of the forest and the earth dragons are trying to clear them out. Climb high to burn the webs using special crystals granted by the dragons that won't harm the trees, and beware the thorny vines that try to trap and attack. If poisoned by the spiders or trees, a cure made by crystal honey must be eaten before nightfall.
🐊 Swamp. Large snakes and basilisks have increased in number and threaten to hunt and eat young dragon hatchlings and dragon eggs laid by the earth and water dragons within the territory. Cull the numbers and save any caught.
🌊 Toxic Lake. One of the usually pristine lakes had a dangerous algae bloom and has become toxic. The water dragons have cleansed their own areas but the wildlife is at risk of becoming decimated. The lake must be purified either through magic or some kind of filtration system while also restoring the devastated wildlife.
🦴 Graveyard. Permission has been granted for visitors to harvest a few dragon bones, which can be potent for many spells and potions of all kinds. While there, they may see shadows and ghosts of dragons past, and if they listen carefully they may even hear of their stories. Just beware of some of the skeletal remains suddenly rising up to attack. Whether they are cursed remains or a dragon playing a prank, better to fend them off and let them rest in peace once and for all rather than joining them.
🌻 Floating Gardens. Maintained by the air and earth dragons, one of the large, floating land masses within the island houses a vast array of gardens filled with various flowers, plants, and trees that are both native to the island and imported from others. One could argue this is their great treasure, especially with various "snapping" creatures roaming through to guard any who try to destroy or take the flowers without permission. Wind and earth crystals can also be found and are free to harvest.

There is one particular type of place that visitors may want to stay away from—or perhaps may want to find one of their own. For dragons who have found their mate, they will seek an empty grotto and pledge their vows. While some dragons will only stay together for the brooding season, others will remain as lifelong partners. It's a beautiful thing…that most will not want to bear witness so shoo. Even dragons need privacy.

DRAGON'S GALE

With the assistance of the Corsairs who share a natural affinity towards the dragons due to Nogard's own draconic form, large feasts and challenges are held often as entertainment for visitors. The dragons also participate in these activities, as they also use them as an opportunity to show off and meet other potential mates. Or perhaps it's not a dragon that catches their eye…!?

There is a plethora of activities as one might expect for a time of celebration and matchmaking. Although the focus is on the dragons, the spirit and mood makes them playful enough to try and push their non-dragon guests to find their own "special partner." And for those who are not so romantically inclined, forging friendships and strong bonds are also heavily encouraged.

🐲 Dragon Riding. If anyone is brave enough to climb up on an unsuspecting dragon or jump on the back of one without notice they may be able to take that dragon for a joy ride. If the dragon possesses wings, prepare for a breathtaking journey soaring high above the clouds, gripping tightly as it gracefully glides through the sky. Should it be a sea-dwelling dragon, be prepared for an underwater adventure, diving into dark caverns or plunging beneath the waves—requiring you to master the art of holding your breath. And for those riding land dragons, brace yourself for a wild and bumpy journey as they thunder or race each other across the terrain. Locals say that if riders can hold and stay on the dragon for the entire duration of the ride, they will have good fortunes for the year. Don’t fall off!
🐉 Dancing Dragons. As the sun begins its descent toward the horizon, closer to sunset, the dragons will start their elaborate courtship dances. It's a mesmerizing spectacle—a graceful dance between two dragons, their movements perfectly synchronized as they weave and twirl around each other in pretty and rhythmic patterns. The sight is captivating, maybe even drawing others into the enchanting display. Some may feel compelled to join in the festivities, inviting someone to dance with them amidst the swirling dragons. It’s the perfect backdrop to an intimate dance.
🤺 Dragon Duels. Fighting for one's potential love or friend is a common way to exhibit one's strength, and the dragons are no different. There are numerous arenas and stages set up around the main area and anyone is encouraged to step up and fight, even if it's just for fun. The dragons are particularly interested in watching any Corsair vs. Paladin matches and may even just shove them in there. Real weapons and magic are allowed, and only intervention from the dragons is a "no death" spell where all fatal hits turn into an explosion of tomato sauce.
📿 Dragon Charms. Many people have made it a tradition to make little dragon-shaped charms for good luck. Use special silk strings to make colourful charms that can be attached to clothing or bags as a cute little fashion statement. They make nice gifts as well!
🥚 Dragon Eggs. Using fake bejeweled, faberge eggs, Corsairs must try to "steal" the eggs and hide them while the Paladins must try and retrieve them. It's supposed to be a fun, competitive game between the two Armadas as well as a chance for either to win the egg at the end. However, there is a smuggling group that is using the game as a guise to try and steal real dragon eggs, which look quite different. Stop and catch these thieves for the dragons turn the entire island into a wasteland in trying to retrieve the eggs themselves.

Unlike other festival type feasts, the kind hosted by the dragons are huge with more of an all-you-can-eat buffet style. Held during the evenings and always accompanied with giant casks of ale, there are large portions of meat, all hunted by the dragons and dragonfolk, though they will welcome any who may try their luck and offer something to the many tables as well. Just beware taking on a drinking challenge from a dragon—they have greater tolerance than most and will be quick to goad anyone to try and drink them under the table (though they usually end up on top instead). But for those who may want a lighter snack, there are many stalls selling special delicacies—that have a little extra something to them.

🥐 Dragon Croissant. Adorable pastries shaped like tiny dragons. Anyone who's eaten a croissant will be granted a partial or full dragon transformation for the day. Unfortunately, those wings can't fly.
🎱 Dragon Balls. They say that eating the Dragon Balls will grant you one wish, but no one has confirmed or denied whether they come true. The truth is... whatever is wished for will end up with some kind of twist. For example, wishing for riches will grant a nice pile of chocolate coins.
🧔 Dragon Beard Candy. These sweet little candies will grant people the gift of flight for one hour.
🍍 Dragonfruit Bowls. Served in pitaya shells, these colorful and refreshing mixed fruit salads will relieve the eaters' stress and make them feel more confident.
🌶️ Rainbow Dragon Peppers. Depending on the colour of pepper, those who are brave enough to eat the peppers will be given a special type of breath: fire, lightning, or ice.
🧋 Boba Tea. Makes every emotion someone is feeling intensified (level of intensity differs person to person.)

While Nogard is readily available for those willing to stay within Corsair territory (for a very high fee), there are plenty of inns and campsites that visitors can use for their stay. Just be prepared to share rooms and tents if there aren't enough vacant spots.

CASTLE RAIDS

Scattered throughout the island are numerous castles and ancient temples and buildings that many dragons have called their own. From high up in the mountains and floating land masses, to deep within the lakes and caves, there is question of whether these structures are leftovers from the "old world" or if they were built especially for the dragons. Perhaps a mix of both. Regardless, all of them house untold treasures and relics that the dragon resident has collected over time.

And Dragon's Gale is the perfect time for their "spring cleaning" of sorts.

While a dragon would rather kill anyone who tries to take their hoard, it has become tradition to allow non-dragon visitors to test their might and wit to actually do so. They have to begrudgingly admit they have way too much and some can be hazard for young dragons, so they set aside what they are (un)willing to part with and those who are able to pass through their challenges and traps, or perhaps even face the dragon itself, can keep their rewards.

To make things more interesting and in the spirit of their own endeavors in finding a mate, there is a known "challenge" where dragons will dragonnap unsuspecting individuals, usually those who are seen either with a significant other or close friends, and bring them to their castle. Now their "hostage" must be saved. While some may disagree, the dragons find this "game" a surefire way to help unwilling couples or friends to show their bonds. No harm will come to the hostage, unless something should happen to incite the dragon's ire…

🕸️ Maze. The castle itself is a labyrinth of corridors that twist and turn among themselves. Not only that, but there are illusory walls and floors that are designed to disorient people, so everyone should keep their wits about them! Large, feral spiders creep among the dusty cobwebs, and down the other corridor is a toy spider that, if broken, has candy inside. Try not to trip the giant rolling boulders, or else be ready to run and duck into other corridors to escape!
💨 Traps. The castle is armed with all sorts of dangerous traps, so watch your step! Flamethrowers, hidden trap doors that drop into dangerous spike pits, tripwires that will trigger spiked walls to close in. There are even some rooms fortified with smoke traps that will shroud anyone in darkness. Should anyone choose to take the less adventurous route, instead of steel, everything will be made of foam, the pits will be filled with all manner of nasty things (pudding, whipped cream, jello, balls!), and the darkness gas will be replaced with laughing gas. Opening a random chest may also send people to another random room in the castle, so be warned!
🪄 Magic Hexes. Randomly, magical hexes will be cast in an attempt to disorient the raiders. They can range from paralysis to confusion, even sometimes hallucinations. Other times, they can be physical effects—oops, did their legs just turn into fins? Why does it feel like someone is tickling them for ten minutes non-stop?
🗝️ Guardians. A fortress of treasures always has to have guards, so there will be encounters with stone gargoyles, trolls, wyvern, and the like. Fend them off!

For those who do make it past the many obstacles and out of the traps, they will be faced with one final challenge: battle the one of the many dragons! Whether caught attempting to steal treasure that they will guard or trying to save a hostage, they are on full alert, and boy, do the dragons love a good fight. While these battles will not be too challenging, they are still looking for raiders and rescuers to put on a good fight and show with them. Weapons and magic are fair game, and they will do the same, but remember: this is just that, a game.

In the end, they are simply trying to strengthen the bonds of others, and maybe even play a little bit of matchmaker. Just remember that this is all for fun, so show off a little to impress that hostage, add a bit of dramatic flair, and have a good time!

QUESTS

The current MANTA Board is available, but we have a couple of additional quests that are specific for the event! Teaming up is of course encouraged, no matter what the affiliation. You can assume they acquired some kind of ship for the quests out at sea, either the starter ship or some other ship heading out there. All quests will be worth 4 points.

Bite-Sized Blessings

Nogard and Ocard

It’s been a few months since the little pink dragon that was loose around the leviathans was caught and safely returned to Nogard where she can live a peaceful life. But now that the dragons have started to migrate she’s become restless, and while she is too young to find a mate, she also wants to play and know what it's like to be in love. The task is simple: take this little pink dragon, as big as a house cat now, on a nice little “date.” Take her walking, take her to see some music, treat her to a nice meal (raw and alive food!) and hold her little clawed paws. Treat her like she’s special and she might kiss your cheek for a lovely day. And that kiss will be a good luck blessing for your own love life.

A Shroom with a View

Everywhere

Strangely coloured mushrooms have been appearing all over the leviathans. These pesky mushrooms have a stinky acrid smell and have been irritating the leviathans in a bad way. They need these mushrooms picked and disposed of as soon as possible or the smell is only going to get worse and worse. Beware, when picking these mushrooms they give off a terrible dust that when inhaled will plague the picker with strange dreamy hallucinations. Strangely enough… These mushrooms might have the ability to force sleeping demons to try and escape their current victim because they can’t stand the smell.

Walking On Sunshine

Everywhere

Have you ever wondered how to walk on water? Sunfish have started to overpopulate the waters which have left many shallows stoked to the brim with them. Sunfish are regrettably untasty fish so the children in the area have made a game out of them rather than trying to fish them for food. Try your best to hop from sunfish to sunfish and make your way as far as you can go before the fish can’t hold your weight any longer.

Fuss in Boots

Eltrut

An old haggard cat has been roaming around Eltrut adorning a very fancy feather pirate’s hat and a black eyepatch. This refined cat has lost its previous captain and is looking for the dead man’s lost peg leg. He needs help finding the peg leg because the cat claims that there is a special treasure hidden inside the wooden leg. Help him find the peg leg and if found he’ll crack it open only to reveal a hidden stash of catnip. He’ll laugh at you for being so gullible but at least you helped little ol’ him. And no, he does not want you to adopt him. If you suggest it he’ll call you a “Lily-livered Bootlick” and say he would survive better on his own. Wow, he’s kind of mean…

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mrghyeaheurgh.

[The reply is muffled. Crowley pulls a handkerchief from his sleeve, blows, and inspects the contents. Great, a bit of blood. Really beaned himself on the magical invisible barrier.

He shakes away the assorted corporeal fluids, tucking the miraculously clean hanky back into his sleeve before getting a proper look at the perimeter the Medicine Seller set up.]

Been having issues with some scavengers, or am I just particularly lucky today?

This is a graveyard.

[He speaks matter of factly, plucking a different bone from the pile to begin inspecting it. Can't have sub-par bones in the bone pile, apparently he does not intend on lugging this whole mess back.]

Even with permission, to disturb the dead is to invite their ire. The barrier is simply a precaution,

[The bone is gently discarded, place to the side. Not good enough.]

against tainted spirits, and unholy entities... in particular.

[That pale blue slate stare is now lingering a little overlong on Crowley, decidedly scrutinizing.]

Ah.

[Right. Of course.]

It's the second one.

[He gives a snide, mocking little bow.]

The unholiest, at your service.

Honesty.

[There's a very, very slight change in his expression, just a slight hint of relaxation around the eyes. Alright then.]

How refreshing.

[Yes, he did kind of expect a lot of bluster and bullshit about how the charms must be wrong and how he should definitely take a few of them down, Crowley is already more honest than a solid chunk of the humans he's been around.]

Does his unholiness have a name?

[Snideness is answered with a teasing tone, as he goes to inspect another bone.]

[For someone who's gone over Hell's radar and under Heaven's for so long, Crowley sure isn't in the habit of lying much.

The stranger's brief flicker of surprise earns him a wry smile from the demon. He knows exactly what people expect from him.

He's never been much for living up to other's expectations.]

...Crowley. There's an Anthony and a J in front of it, if you go in for that sort of window dressing, but it's mostly just Crowley.

[He leans against one of the trees, trying a quick miracle to get rid of one of the ofuda. The sensation is a bit like sticking his finger in an electrical socket, and he winces, yanking his hand back as he shakes out the tingling sensation. The ofuda remains unharmed.]

So does his exorcist...ness go by anything?

Just Crowley it is, then.

[His head tilts a bit to the side as Crowley attempts to unmake an ofuda, an attempt that is just as unsuccessful as he'd hoped it would be. After all, all things said and done, Crowley is most assuredly not like his normal fare of supernatural entity. So they're both learning today!]

If you wish to come in, you may simply ask.

[Question? About his name? What question about his name?]

The charm must be reapplied after all. One break in the wall leaves the entire circle vulnerable.

No name, huh? Smart move. Bet you'd drive fairies up the wall.

[Crowley's not really one to judge other people's naming choices. After all, he's gone through several iterations before he arrived at Anthony J. Crowley. He may go through a few more. Who knows what the next few millennia have in store? The J may even wind up standing for something after all.

He, however, is not going to comment on asking to come in. He's not a vampire. That's beneath him.]

Sounds like the whole thing works similar to a summoning circle. Only it keeps things out rather than in. Or does it go both ways? Once I'm in, I'm in?

[Which is a terrifying thought. He gives the talisman another prod with his miracles only to get zapped again for his troubles.]

No offense, but I'd rather not get stuck in a ring with an exorcist. I like to keep my skin on if it's all the same.

It is nothing of importance. I am a Medicine Seller, nothing more.

[Though at this point, the both of them knew that was a load of horseshit, huh? It doesn't stop him from saying it, though at least it's stated with an obvious smile. He thinks he's funny.]

Where ever you stand as opposed to the ofuda, so there you will be.

[Yes indeed, he'd sure as hell be trapped in here with a spooky little exorcist and his spooky little box. Heavens knows what he's got in that thing, maybe little wasn't the best adjective to use in correlation to that. That looks like it might be able to hold all kind of horrible demon punishment.]

Why would you be playing with them so much otherwise? Or are you so enamored by it's sting? Should you like, I could give you one, if you wish to keep entertaining yourself so.

A Medicine Seller, eh?

[He glances at the brightly patterned clothes, and then the mysterious box of goodies and tries very hard not to be reminded of his time at Woodstock.]

...I'll bet you are.

[Spoken as diplomatically as possible. The offer to give him one of the ofuda gets a snort of laughter.]

Yeah, no. Doesn't hurt that much - I was in Italy for the majority of the Renaissance. Whole country's a minefield of consecrated ground, holy relics, you name it. Built up a bit of tolerance.

[Another flash of that diabolical grin of his. He's not going to admit he's just curious about how they work. That would be akin to conceding some kind of defeat.]

Besides, you might want to up your security if something like li'l ol' me can break through. Who knows what manner of ghoulies and ghosties could get in otherwise?

Would that you were in here, I would show you my wares as proof

[Not that he's trying to trick him or anything. ... He isn't, but he's not going to say anything to make that sound any less suspicious.]

I see. Then you're a western demon. I've never encountered one before.

[Hence the continued conversation and prying, he likes learning. That Crowley has been polite enough and a fine conversationalist just makes it more enjoyable.]

Can you? Are you sure? You're still out there, and I still sit in here alone.

[That gets a low chuckle from Crowley.]

Mm. Not as common as you'd think. They usually stay downstairs. Humans get along just fine at making their own lives miserable without much diabolical intervention needed.

[He glances up from his poking and prodding at the barrier, one brow arched over the rim of his dark glasses.]

And who says I'm trying to get in...? [He's not suicidal. He knows a real exorcist when he sees one.] These things are right clever. And you don't figure out how things work by taking a sledgehammer to them.

[Crowley tries another approach - his demonic miracles aren't working, but he and Aziraphale have been doing each other's jobs for centuries. What if he tried a good old fashioned proper angelic blessing? ...Worth a shot.]

For what these words may be worth to you, my area of expertise is quite narrow.

[He's paused his bone inspection, Crowley now commanding his full attention. Hey, it's genuinely not every day he has a normal, calm, productive conversation with a demon. Even the ones not on his radar tend to be a little more belligerent, and the open, frankly almost human-like curiosity in regards to the ofuda has finally managed to trip the Medicine Seller's curiosity in return.

After all, most demons tended not to be very curious creatures, not like this, anyway.]

If I were to battle with every demon I met, I would never get anything done. If you would wish to study the ofuda however, the offer to let you take one is still quite open.

[Demon miracles just made the thing angrier, but a holy blessing? For one brief, beautiful moment, the ink faded, the eye in the center of it lazily closing. The others maintained their vigil of course, but for a handful of seconds the barrier had quite suddenly gotten itself a little door. Now it was the Medicine Seller's turn to arch a brow, focusing precisely upon the temporarily neutralized ofuda.

After a moment, the thing reactivated with an almost pissy hum, blaring red as if the charm itself was offended at being shut off.]

Oh... Well.

What a fascinating trick.

[And he means it too, but he'd be lying if he wasn't at least somewhat concerned about that.]

A demon with holy magic?

No trick. It's just your bog standard-blessing. I'd fill in for a friend when he was feeling under-the-weather.

[Under-the-weather being code for the angel finding some fascinating new book to pour over (which Crowley would subsequently hear about in its entirety), encountering a new and delectable treat from some patisserie or another that he would have to sample, or Crowley wound up drawing the short straw on who would handle the blessings and temptations for that month.

Crowley was an angel once. It's not like he forgot everything.]

What did you mean earlier that your expertise is limited? I know the denizens of Hell aren't actually popping up everywhere like demonic daisies - whatever the televangelists might say to the contrary - but you clearly know what you're doing, and I expect the basic principle's the same right? See a wile and give it a good thwarting?

A far holier friend than yourself, I would imagine.

[If holy blessings were part of this 'filling in'. He's approaching the barrier now, in spite of the fact that Crowley's just demonstrated the ability to turn it off should he so desire.

Call it a hunch, but he's pretty sure he doesn't have to worry about being attacked here, and he'd like to get a bit of a closer look at a holy proficient demon.]

You'd find the opposite is true, in Japan. There are countless demons in every corner of the country, both malicious and benign. You can hardly take a step without seeing signs of one, if not one directly.

I do not engage with them, just as an exterminator does not simply excise every hive and nest they find. There is simply no reason to; they too have a purpose and a place here, and so too should be allowed to thrive.

My expertise lies with abominations, mononoke. Once living humans, left warped and enraged by the crimes committed by or against them in life. If allowed to continue, they would sow blind destruction wherever they go.

[An entity that Crowley, at least by the tools he carried on him, wasn't anything like. The ofuda might respond, but the box and it's passengers remained as still and silent as the grave.]

But if you'd like me to thwart you a little, I could. This place does seem quite empty of my usual fare.

[The amusement in his tone is obvious, the teasing well meaning. Whatever 'thwart' was, it probably wouldn't be including any holy smiting.]

[The Medicine Seller is on the money. Crowley doesn't make any move to fiddle further with the ofuda. Not now that he knows what to do if he gets stuck on the wrong side of them with the enigmatic exorcist.]

Holy enough, when he feels like it.

[Not so dissimilar to Crowley's own approach to unholiness. He really can make such a nuisance of himself when he's bored, Aziraphale is too busy to deal with him, and there's nothing on the telly.]

I'll take a rain check on a proper thwarting. But if you ever need someone to playact one to help drum up business, I can make it look good.

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