October Catchall

[acheat]

Who: Jarlaxle and You
Status: Open
Where: All over, including the ocean!
What: Catchall for event stuff and whatever else might happen during the month of October.
Warnings: Smut's in here eventually RIP


Spirited | Nogard/Naughtilust]
[He's normally a little... eccentric, one could say. He's typically very energetic, so him being out on the town, specifically haunting every tavern, brothel, restaurant and entertainment establishment he can get into isn't necessarily strange!

It's really more the fact that he doesn't seem to be getting tired any time soon. Or perhaps it's the fact that he's been sitting here, talking, knocking back drink after drink after drink, and doesn't look like he's ready to call it a night at glass number seven.

Or maybe it's the endless, breathless, excited stories of, what else but,]

I would never lie about a ghost, look me in the face and tell me that I have the seeming of a liar.

[With his one visible eye over bright, the drow not even trying to put on a more serious face; that grin is as bright as it is wide, his words crisp and clear despite the tankard sitting in his hand half empty.]

They're far less terrifying than you've been lead to believe, I assure you. Intoxicating would be the better word for it, if I had to pick one at all. I wouldn't even say that they even appear frightening, unlike the spirits I'm familiar with from home. I've half a mind to go back out and find at least ten more before sunrise.

I'd be keen on company as well, should you have the heart and guts for it of course.

[You don't wanna be a big baby do you?]

[Bounties]

[Two texts appear on the shellphone, hours apart from the other.]

[first]

Seeking: fishing party for day excursion. Spoils to be split evenly between all members. If interested please respond to this message for further instruction.

Bring your own weapon. (*ˊᗜˋ*)/ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏᵞᵒᵘ*

[Because that's a normal thing to ask for a fishing trip right]

[second]

Any thrill seekers out and about? Which one of you are interested in spicing up a boring evening with a little bit of specter spotting?

Potentially specter dispelling, it depends on if the spotting part is accomplished or not.

Comments

[subigito]

The shellphones are far too impersonal for something like this.

[ He steps in and closes the door behind them as Jarlaxle places the flowers on the table. He's not a big fan of the shellphones in general, preferring letters to them and in person interaction more than that.

But also, this is especially important. ]

I feel much better now that the moon has gone back to normal. I can only imagine that destroying that tombstone on the ghost ship helped too.

[ Honestly every single word in that sentence is still wild, but is it any wilder than Act II of Baldur's Gate? No. ]

But under the influence of the moon or not, it doesn't excuse my actions. [ He takes a breath here. It's clear he's practiced this, and even still, it is not easy for him. ] I apologize for my behavior.

[acheat]

We're in agreement on that. But it still would have been easier, and you opted for the personal approach regardless. It is something that requires a certain amount of strength that many people fail to show.

[It was worth being noted, out loud. He faced Astarion properly, listening as he allayed any possible remaining concerns that he might still yet be under the moons influence. The cursed stone destroyed, the ships sank, the sky once again blue and clear, and here was Astarion, left with nothing but painful clarity when the sun rose. It was almost unfair, if he thought about it just a little. The other man never asked to be in that position after all.]

It doesn't, but the explanation it gives helps nevertheless. Thank you, for the apology. I know it must have been difficult, in multiple ways, and I appreciate that you would come to me personally to deliver it.

[His tone softened, the edges of that neutral mask continuing to slip and fade away as a small smile crept onto his face.]

I bear you no grudge, Astarion. And I would like that this friendship that we have continue.

[subigito]

[ It is nice to hear Jarlaxle acknowledge how hard this was, but he doesn't comment on it. This isn't about him (shockingly, amazingly, real character growth here), and he's trying his best here.

Still, he's pretty clearly relieved when Jarlaxle says they can still be friends. ]

Thank you. I won't squander your kindness.

[acheat]

I know you won't.

[Or if nothing else, he knew he'd make a solid attempt not to. The future after all could hold just about anything, and who knew if something like this might happen again, toy with either of them again, in fact.]

If anything, this was a... deeply educational experience... As to the nature of this place. It isn't all just playing pirates and paladins, if the very laws that govern this strange world can alter someone's mind with little more than a moon rise.

[Not a fun idea, actually, but one that he can't just throw out the window and bottle up, never to be thought of again. A slow frown was beginning to creep across his face, as he crossed his arms and drummed his fingers against one.]

Who's to say what may happen? It could be I apologizing to you, next time.

[subigito]

[ You're not like me, Astarion wants to say. That he'd spent 200 years leading prey to the slaughter. That what he'd done to Jarlaxle may have been spurred on by the moon that it was in his nature in a way he knows it could never been in Jarlaxle's.

But it is a truth too heavy to speak. So he doesn't say it. Instead: ]

You can't hurt me.

[acheat]

[You sound so confident about that, sat at the forefront of his mind. He pulled himself from his thoughts to regard Astarion for a moment.]

Do you truly believe so? Or do you believe that I wouldn't, had I reason to?

[subigito]

[ Jarlaxle will find only conviction. Astarion does believe this, at least in terms of physical harm. He hasn't really considered that one of these things could cause them to hurt each other emotionally. Maybe he should, when part of what had happened here was overstepping a boundary. But while he understands he did something he shouldn't have with Jarlaxle, there is another part of him that simply refuses to consider Jarlaxle doing anything remotely similar. ]

I'm a vampire spawn. I'll heal.

[acheat]

There are some wounds that do not close so easily. [From one walking wounded to another] You know this.

I enjoy your company, Astarion, make no mistake about this. I find you to be a fine friend and pleasant company, in and out of bed.

But I wouldn't suggest you presume me harmless, simply because my blades cannot end you.

[There were others, of course, that had made that kind of mistake in the past, others he'd sworn he'd never bring harm to. Just ask Artemis what good that promise was, or Zaknafein how much protection his friendship really brought.]

Simply because I don't wish to hurt you, doesn't mean that it cannot happen. Especially not after what we played witness to last night.

[It was galling him, that much was clear. The idea that perhaps something would happen to him, and he'd return the favor to Astarion twice over.]

[subigito]

Is that what you're so grim about this morning? That you're worried? About me?

[ The emphasis is hardest on the last word, as if it were utterly ridiculous. Because, after all, he's got 200+ years of no one worrying about him. It hasn't quite sunken in how many people do worry about him, or to what extent.

And because it feels so ridiculous he laughs. A short singular sound at first that grows until he's simply laughing at this situation. It's equal parts relief and amusement. He'd thought this whole mood was because Jarlaxle really was quite upset with him. But he sees no reason for them to act like this over something as silly as whether Jarlaxle might in the future do something to upset him.

To Astarion, this simply feels freeing. The weight of his guilt starts to wash off with his laughter. But it's likely unsettling. This is a different kind of raw honesty than the flowers. This laughter betrays the depth of his problems. His lack of concern for himself, the true way he values himself.

It is of course ironic, when he does think about how he betrays others, too. But he lies to himself and says that is simply a fact of who he is. That he must, for his survival. That he cannot get too close to people so it won't sting when he does.

But Astarion had always been a bit hypocritical. ]

And here I thought we were dealing with something far more serious. Don't look at me like that, darling, this brooding does not suit you.

[acheat]

[The laughter is not returned. If anything, his expression only grows more concerned, the tone of it all so uncomfortably familiar. From the words right down to the laughter at the very idea that anyone would care.

And he hates how the sound claws at him, the dismissiveness of it all. Quite the opposite of what Astarion wanted to portray here, or believed he might have been showing, all the drow could really hear was a desperate, broken cry.]

Yes. I am.

[He was worried. About him. In more ways than one.]

I'll offer you this advice; do not become so comfortable that you do not see fit to question me. Should I ever make a demand of you that discomforts you, in any way, I'd ask that you refuse it no matter what I might offer or say.

I am deadly serious, Astarion.

[subigito]

[ Astarion's laughter dies down and he sobers, hearing Jarlaxle talking like this. He thinks the fact Jarlaxle says this at all proves he's a good person. After all, Astarion has never afforded his companions the same. But he'd always intended to use them for his benefit. ]

I have no reason to be afraid of you. I won't give you anything I don't want to give. I have choices, now. I'll make them as I see fit.

[acheat]

[You've no reason right now. It was left unsaid, there was no need to push that point. Perhaps this was all just paranoia, unearthed by the other night's troubles, maybe he was concerned about nothing. After all, he'd made the same mistake twice now, surely nothing would be worth making it a third time, not here especially.

The grim expression eased, replaced with another that still didn't fit the drow's face. He looked tired, every bit as old as he claimed he was before, watching Astarion for a moment with a searching look. Finally, even that smoothed over. Whatever would come would come. Maybe he was just overthinking the entire affair, and there was nothing he need really fear for the future.]

Hold yourself to that, for no one else will be able to for you.

[He finally uncrossed his arms, moving to cross the room with a few easy steps as the tension was apparently dropped from him. Unlikely, really, just quietly packaged up and pushed into another dusty corner to be 'forgotten' about. He'd rather not linger any more on such depressing topics after all, Astarion was right; the brooding did not suit him.

It would be abandoned in favor of an embrace, reaching for the other man to briefly wrap his arms about him in a warm, firm hug. The ghost of that tension was still there in his hands; Jarlaxle's fingers gripping just a little too tight to be just a simple expression of affection.]

I'm glad, that you came here. I feel better now, without that weight upon me.

[subigito]

[ Astarion watches these expressions weighing what he might want to say. But then it seems, blessedly, that the whole affair is over. That Jarlaxle is willing to let everything go, and that they're going to go back to normal.

But only for a moment.

Because then the hug comes and Astarion stiffens, his arms coming up like he's not sure if he should hug him back or push him off, tension obvious as he tries to decide. Of course he's just said he'll tell Jarlaxle no if it's something he truly doesn't want, and he did mean that.

It's just, he doesn't know what to do with this. He can count the number of times he's been hugged on one hand, and it's hard.

Especially because he can feel Jarlaxle's tension too. It's a heavy emotion, meant for him, and that's overwhelming.

For a long moment he stands there like this, gripped with indecision, and then finally he places his arms around Jarlaxle in kind. Awkward, unsure. But trying. ]

[acheat]

[He didn't push him away, or ask for him to stop. That was really all that mattered, though it was clear the other man was at a bit of a loss as to what to do.

The sheer awkwardness of it all actually managed to coax a laugh out of him, finally wholly breaking that entire, discomforting tension and silence. The hug turned more fraternal in an instant, with two firm pats on the other man's back before he pulled away, a hand on each shoulder.]

I'm sorry, I was overcome by the compulsion. I hardly meant to impose.

[And with that, he released him with a grin, now everything was back to normal.]

Next time, I'll warn you should I feel that particular impulse come over me again.

[subigito]

[ It ends up with another moment of mismatched feelings. Jarlaxle, finally calming, and Astarion, instead, left standing there not quite knowing how to process everything that just happened, or the fact he'd been laughed (pot, kettle) when he'd tried to reciprocate.

But he lets his hands fall and offers him a smile, at least able to play the part after all his years of practice. Far better that they move on from all of this. He could deal with the emotions later. ]

That's quite alright. There's no need to apologize.

[acheat]

[A mismatch of feelings, a mismatch of coping. It was a gap he could feel, but was still struggling to find a way to bridge. Amazing, really, how this felt so more uncomfortably intimate than sex. If it wasn't a feeling he was so well acquainted with, he might have thought about it for a moment. It'd be abandoned instead, giving Astarion back that space it seemed the other man needed.]

I'll find somewhere for the flowers.

[Moving on from it, trying to find a way to segue with as little awkwardness and with as little damage as possible. It was a task that was proving a little trying even for him.]

You are of course, welcome to join me for one last day out in Eltrut, before we return to Nogard, if it would please you. I do intend on being a bit lazier than usual today however, so I understand if you decline.

['Lazier' for obvious reasons that didn't need to be said, but a fair warning of potential boredom, and an easy out for Astarion as well.]

[subigito]

[ Some part of Astarion desperately does want to take the out and simply leave, because that would be much easier, and he wouldn't have to deal with his feelings, and he could literally do anything else instead.

But he also does want to ease things over and spend time with Jarlaxle. Not this awkward, strange time, but their normal kind of time. ]

I'd like that.