closed ⚡🪶 if the wind knocks on your window

[garudas]

Who: Cidolfus Telamon & Benedikta Harman.
Status: Closed.
Where: The Roost, Latrommi.
What: Benedikta "accidentally" returns to the Roost for good. Event stuff later.
Warnings: The usual CidBenna warnings. :')

homecoming 🌷
not so sweet dreams 🌙
sun of a beach 🏖️

Comments

💜 a homecoming. the roost, almost two weeks later.

[garudas]

[That previous parting after their day on the island had, by far, been the most difficult one. Somehow, in spite of the happier mood that they were in, it only left Benedikta feeling sadder when it was time to say goodbye. It only made her wish she could beg him to stay with her here, and to not return... but she uttered not a word of that wish to him. She knew that he had other obligations, people to tend to and see, things to do, a whole crew who relied on him for answers and guidance and whatever else they needed. She should be the last person who should be relying on him for anything right now. Especially when, even after he asks, she is not yet ready to return to the Roost and face the others.

She might not even be ready to return to him completely yet.

For as much as she misses him when they are apart, she keeps coming back to that realization that she is still too scared of that "future" that he talked about. A future that could so easily be snatched away from them like it almost had been, for one, but more than that, a future that she would not know what to do with. Would she even deserve it? What would make anyone, most of all him, think that she did?

And those are not thoughts that she wants to burden him with.

So another painful goodbye it is, as Benedikta takes to the seas again, and she's never felt so alone as she does now.

Two weeks is a long time to spend in solitude. It was something she could do endlessly before—the idea of sailing through the Narrow on her ship without the sounds of men or a crew behind her, just with the winds to keep her company was enough. In those six years after he left, she never minded being on her own. That sort of peace was hard to find, with her men and the King always lurking in her shadow, and so she coveted it when she could find it.

Now?

Now, it is too silent. It's a silence that not even the sound of the waves could hope to break. It follows her over the seas, and even when she is on land, sleuthing through the streets of Nogard where they are busiest. It follows her to sleep, it's there when she wakes up. It's everywhere all around her and in her head, fighting against the chaos those feelings stir within her.

This loneliness is a vicious cycle, and one that she keeps spiraling into, and it only grows worse the longer that she is alone with those thoughts. Usually, she has Garuda there to at least help break her free from it, that voice in her head reminding her to pick herself back up, and that she did not need those feelings, but all she has given her are horrifying nightmares night after night, and she doesn't think she wants her there to do it.

So what the fuck is she supposed to do?

She misses him. She misses his voice, the way that his smile could so easily burrow right into her aether and settle there to calm her. They have talked, yes, and she has messaged him when she was feeling particularly alone, but it was never enough. She wanted his sturdy presence beside her because she couldn't take it to do all of this alone. She never could, and the last time that she had tried, hatred had filled the empty spaces in her until that was all she could feel.

And she could feel it bubbling up again, the beginnings of it swirling in the deepest part of her. Not for him, but... for the world. For everyone in it who would look at her differently. For the man she pledged her loyalty to, only for him to use that against her.

He would be the only one who could quell these feelings. Funny, when she thinks back to the days when it was him who created them.

She just... needed to be with him...

Even for just a little while.

But...

It's later in the night, as she is in her bed in Nogard that she thinks of him again, and she curses at herself for doing so as she holds her phone in her hand, wondering if she should message or call him. She curses at the way that her heart nearly beats out of her chest so that it can fly right to him. She hates that she can feel the sting of tears in her eyes before they finally fall freely, and how all it takes is a scream into her pillow for them to come.

How fucking pathetic is she.

She just wants to go... home.

How fucking pathetic is it that, as she buries her face in her pillow to try and drown out that horrible silence, her marigold bracelet around her wrist begins to glow.

...Home...

Where he is.



And in the very next moment, she is no longer in her bed. One second, she feels a pull, and then she is landing right into a familiar room before she is even able to process any of it—]

[ramuhs]

[He had been hopeful that she would return with him that day...and unsurprisingly disappointed when she didn't. Of course he knew she needed the time to heal, but now he wondered if she was stuck in her own headspace and would never be able to come out of it on her own. If he needed to really do as he threatened and just drag her back here. He really didn't like forcing and pushing her, but the many years of dealing with so many different people has helped him to learn that sometimes that force is necessary and a risk that needs to be taken.

And she is one of them.

So even through their calls and messages, although he doesn't outright push her the idea continues to grow as days turn into a week. It doesn't (or does) help that he can sense she's feeling more distant in a way. That there is that something, that conflict. He's known and dealt with her long enough to at least tell this much.

Thus that night, as he sits at his work desk with various papers and books set aside, he puts the finishing touches on the bracelet he had been working on. Thanks to Denji's goldsmithing kit given to him on his birthday, he was able to remake the bracelet he had been working on earlier before it was broken when Benedikta came storming through that fateful afternoon. It feels so long ago...

His plan is to arrange a meeting and gift her the bracelet, somewhat of a bribe, but to also use it as one last attempt to have her willingly come back with him. And if she didn't...then he really would grab her and just take her back by first and strip her of her own ring so she wouldn't fly off again. At least...not immediately. He wouldn't be so cruel to strip her of her will completely. But just a chance, just a moment to try.

With those thoughts in mind, he looks over the finished bracelet, the light green peridot gems and small pearls polished and shining under the bright work lamp used to help him see better. Although the underground house had its own room lighting, it wasn't enough for this kind of work. And under this brighter light, he brushes his thumb over the small charm he had specially ordered—a small feather made of sterling silver with a subtle bolt of lightning down the middle where the rachis of the feather would be.

With one last look, he sets it down and rubs his eyes. He's been at this for a little too long, it's probably only thanks to Ramuh his eyes haven't gone bad like Old Tomes... But now he needed to get the small pouch for it and then prepare for bed. No, he still hasn't messaged Benedikta yet, has he? Glancing at the clock he wonders if she sent one of her nagging texts and he missed. Actually where did he put his phone...?

Just as he pushes his chair back, there's a shift in the air, that sudden tingling in the back of his mind that's so brief and quick that he doesn't even have time to question if what he felt was real or not.

Because—]

...Benna!?

[—next thing he knows, Benedikta has fallen right into his lap, and it's only by instinct that his arms immediately wrap around her to prevent her from slipping down and onto the floor.]

[garudas]

[His voice right at her ear startles her, and the way that his arms suddenly wrap around her and pull her close grounds her again, recentering her after she feels like she's been thrown through a violent storm and then spat out on the other side. The scent of cigars makes that familiarity ring loud and clear as she looks around, stunned and surprised, before her gaze finally lands on him.]

... Cidolfus?

[Her eyes, red and puffy and wet, widen further at the sight of him, like she'd just wished her way right into his lap.

Did she?]

How did I...?

[From the looks of her, it's clear that she had been crying. A lot. And her phone is still clutched in her hand, the screen on and open to their string of messages. She's still in her pajamas too—another sign that this was definitely not a planned meeting... if her expression didn't already say as much.]

[ramuhs]

[He's still... So confused what just—

But then he sees her face, her eyes... And immediately his other instincts kick in and a hand is swiftly rising up to press his palm against her cheek, that spike of worry and concern clear in his eyes.]

What, love, what happened?

[Forget about the how she got here, what was more important was figuring out why she was so upset. Was it because he hadn't messaged her in a while???]

[garudas]

[She is still staring at him in complete disbelief, missing the way that the bracelet she's wearing continues to glow faintly at her wrist. She looks and feels like she is living in a dream right now because—]

One moment I was in bed, thinking about...

[Her arms slide around him now, too embarrassed to finish that thought, as relief ripples through her every limb.]

And then, I was here.

[She thinks he meant the 'how she got here' part.]

[ramuhs]

[That... Well. Both answers and doesn't answer the other question spinning in his head, and he, too, will miss the glow because he's too focused on her.]

No, I mean... What made you so upset?

[garudas]

[Ah...

She sniffles quietly in the silence that follows his question, a frown furrowing her expression as she tries to blink the tears burning her eyes away. She hates herself for this, and she hates how ridiculous it is that she even felt that way at all. She even considers just protesting and telling him that she wasn't upset about anything, but she knows he would never believe it.]

I was...

[The words are so hard to say, it feels like they've tangled themselves around her tongue.]

...feeling...lonely.

[Her nose wrinkles in disgust as she slowly drops that last word, and she feels like she's about ready to crawl out of her skin.]

[ramuhs]

[Here he had been assuming the worst of some kind, but to hear her actual answer...]

You were...

[His eyes can't help but widen a bit before there's a small ripple of heartache before he pulls her into a tight hug.]

Oh love...

[garudas]

[She bites back the urge to sob or even sniffle, still scorning herself on the inside for feeling this way, but she lets herself be pulled in, her face nuzzling into the crook of his neck where she breathes him in, taking in every bit of his presence now that she is here.]

... It's pathetic.

🌙 not so sweet dreams; several days later

[garudas]

[As if she'd never even left, it didn't take long at all for things to return to their usual routine for the two of them. Not that there was much of a routine, of course. She thrived off the spontaneity of things, like the times when he would surprise her with a kiss or drag her into a spin in the middle of the kitchen, but there was something to be said about those quieter moments, too. When the Roost has gone to sleep and they would stay up by the light of the lantern on his desk in his work room, with Benedikta folded in a chair with a book while he worked away. Or when she would be sprawled in bed, lounging, watching him at the one in their room.

It is on this particular night only a couple from when she returned that they do exactly that.

He works, she reads, and Ashtail and Bidowlfin are fast asleep in their respective places in the living area. Her phone is too far for her to check the time, but she knows that it's getting late judging simply by that same comfortable, almost sleepy silence that falls over them. She's sprawled on the bed, tangled up in the sheets and wearing very little cotton before she tosses her book aside.]

What are you working on this time?

[She gets to her feet and pads across the room to his desk, perching herself at the edge beside him, her finger tapping against his chin for him to lift it up so that she can look him over.]

[ramuhs]

[Cid's mood has greatly improved since Benedikta returned, and despite his social appearance, he's actually rather reserved and quiet, especially when on his own. Which is why it's actually notable that he has a brighter expression and more spontaneous in his shows of affection for. Why the laugh he shares with her and with others outside is lighter and more spirited.

Of course there are other reasons for that extra "pep" in his step.....

But the point is, he's happy. Likely the first to feel it so freely since who knows how long. And now in this quiet, he continues that "venture" with their future by working out what he should do next. So upon hearing her approach and that little tap, he looks up with a wry grin before glancing back at the various sheets of papers and journal in front of him.]

Been thinking what to do with my workshop in Nogard.

[He then sits back in his chair and taps the paper filled with various ideas.]

I don't want to close it down as I prefer having some kind of place there, so I was thinking of perhaps converting it as a shop that could also serve as a front for the crew.

[garudas]

[She was just about to lean in to steal a kiss when he suddenly leans back and looks down at the papers scattered around his desk again, and she pouts at him as her hand drops to her lap.]

A front for what?

[NOW SHE'S DISAPPOINTED.]

[ramuhs]

[AND HE WILL NOT NOTICE AT FIRST.]

Just another meeting place or gather information should we need it.

[Until he finally looks back at her and sees her...pouting...??

...]

What, don't like the idea?

[Clueless man is clueless.]

[garudas]

What?

[Her eyes snap up from where they'd been lingering on his lips.]

I never said that.

[ramuhs]

You're pouting.

[And he's going to reach up to lightly tap his finger to her lips.]

[garudas]

[And that will only deepen it when he goes in for the tap, making her flinch slightly.]

... You moved.

[ramuhs]

I moved?

🏖️ latrommi, part one. fun in the sun + starships quest.

[garudas]

[As much as the heat makes her cranky, Benedikta can't say that she minds the beaches all that much, and while they spend so much time out at sea and on the shores of the Roost, something about this island hits just a bit differently. Perhaps it is the sand, or the mountainous view behind them, or the beachside town that helps to give it a different sort of atmosphere—one where she doesn't mind if the sun beats down a little more, or the wind sweeps the saltwater into her hair. Even the busyness of the boardwalk and the beach doesn't bother her quite as much, and she has not felt this relaxed in a long time.

Of course, all of that will change later once she gets into the thick of things, but for now, she is quite looking forward to enjoying a bit of alone time with Cid. It's not as though she hasn't been already, but it is honestly quite nice being out again rather than being cooped up in their house in the caves. It's nice to feel the wind on her cheeks again, even if she does still miss her wings...

A thought that she is going to try and push back for now, because for once, she genuinely wants to enjoy herself and try to relax like she used to. So, after some shopping—on her own because she doesn't want him to see—they agree to meet up at the beach again after a couple hours, and the last thing that he will hear from her is a message asking him to find them a place to sit before they are all taken...

She arrives at the beach in search of him wearing a new dress in green that she'd just bought over her swimsuit, as well as a wide-brimmed hat on her head, and a glass of wine in one hand, a bag in the other. It's already starting to get crowded that she doesn't immediately spot him on her walk across the sand...]

[ramuhs]

[And as she's walking past a large umbrella, she'll hear a low whistle from beneath its shade followed by a rough but familiar voice.]

Now what's a fine lass like you wandering all by yourself?

[And when she looks over, she'll find Cid languidly sprawled over a set or large towels, shirt open and hanging loosely, a rogueish grin as he peers over the top of the pair of sunglasses he's wearing.]

Care to join me instead?

[Wink~]

[garudas]

[It is a damn good thing that she recognizes his voice instantly because there is a split moment after that whistle when he would have received a face full of wind and sand before she stalked off without even a second look back, but it's his voice that makes her lose her footing and stumble a bit, her hat falling askew as she whips around to look at him, her face turning from outrage to familiarity in a matter of seconds.

And only when she gets a good look of him sprawled out on the towel like that does it turn to something else, her lips falling open in a silent gasp, not only because of that line he uses on her, but because... well. She has eyes.]

I was looking for my...

[She pauses, realizing that she doesn't really know what to call him anymore, so with a little clearing of her throat, she starts to stalk over, straightening her hat.]

...Someone. An older gentleman, about so tall, handsome, and has a charm and wit so sharp it could cut diamonds.

[A dig at that pickup line because wow, but her eyes are raking over him anyway.]

Have you seen him?

[ramuhs]

[Oh this is so amusing to watch...and there is just going to be a sharp arch of his brow. Someone? Really? Oh they will have talks about this—

Probably sooner than she'd like because there is going to be a smirk as she will regret that.]

If he's just a someone, doesn't sound so important to me.

[Burning a hole through her with his eyes.

And just going to slooowwwlly stretch out like a cat as he falls back on the sand with a smirk.]

Unless there's more to this old man that makes him all that impressive.

[Praise him more and maybe he'll forgive her.]

[garudas]

[Remaining ignorant to those thoughts, she pauses near the edge of the towel to watch him stretch out, her eyes shamelessly lingering on the way his shirt falls open.]

He is as I said. Smart, tall, handsome, and far too charming for his own good.

[A little roll of her eyes and a groan as she bites back a smirk.]

And he would burn you to a crisp if he saw the way you were looking at me.

[ramuhs]

[A light smirk.]

Like the way you're looking at me?

[garudas]

[Ah ha. She arches a brow.]

Well, I was simply minding my business when you called to me. But when someone is sprawled out the way that you are in front of me, it is hard not to.

[She slowly kicks her sandals off, but doesn't approach him yet, and no, she will not stop staring.]

[ramuhs]

[Continues to grin like a cat~]

And you could have simply ignored me and carried on. Perhaps this "old someone" is not so good enough to keep your attention after all.

[It's like a terrible trap.]