escordvi | closed ⚡🪶 i've landed next to you

[There's a small exhale as her answer is as expected and he nods gently stroking her back.]

We'll use the ring then. There's a clinic near the workshop so we can go there.

[Her chin lifts a little more, turning so that she can look past his shoulder to the table and their half-eaten food.]

...But your dinner...

[Is she trying to stall? Perhaps a little bit ~~a lot~~.]

[A small huff of laughter.]

As if I could eat more now.

[And he knows what she's doing, a wry look as he pulls back just enough to see her...

...and then leans back to kiss her softly on the lips.]

[Yet another surprising turn, and he'll feel more of that tension leaving her shoulders as she returns the kiss in kind, only now realizing that she had been silly to worry about telling him.

When they pull back, however, she fixes him with an apprehensive look.]

You are sure...? Cidolfus, if it is...

[She can't quite bring herself to finish the end of that sentence, but the question is there, that promise gleaming in the faint glisten and redness of her eyes.

Don't leave.]

[Hearing that uncertainty in his voice and seeing it in her eyes is more painful than anything else. His hand immediately goes up to her cheek, thumb right by the corner of her eye.]

Then we'll talk about it then.

[Although there is a slight tremble in his voice, it's still firm.]

But what I said before remains true—I will be with you and whatever the result, we will handle it together.

[His heart aches at how she still fears he may leave her, and he only has himself to blame for it.]

[The way he speaks makes it sound almost like it already is true, and while she's not sure how to feel about that, she leans into his touch anyway, pressing her cheek into his palm until her lips can kiss the edges of it in a gesture of silent gratitude.

She lets out her shakiest breath yet, relieved to hear his answer again, and reaches down to search for his other hand so that she can squeeze it tightly.]

Then... let us get this over with?

[His mind is still reeling at even the possibility of this happening...and he's not even sure what he should hope for. A negative? A positive? He may have wanted this one day—it's a bit packaged in the whole "marry me and share a future together"—but certainly not today.

But he continues to be the anchor she needs while also using her need for him to be his own anchor, and so he helps her up so they can gather their things before using the ring to appear in his workshop in Nogard. There's no one in at this hour, so they don't have to worry about anyone noting his unusual arrival, and for her sake they take the back door to exit out into the small back alley behind it.

It's quiet, and he keeps her close to him, feeling unusually protective of her even more now. The area they are in is one of the better, safer ones (main reason why he chose it to begin with), but it's still Nogard, and really he would be the same even if they were in Elah. But he will take her to a 24-hour clinic just a few blocks away, a walk that feels like several malms than the few yalms it really is until they reach it.

And throughout it all, he tries not to think of the possibilities. Tries to remind himself (and her if needed) that they need to know first. To worry about something and then be proven wrong would just cause more stress, so they just need to wait a little longer...

Even if that wait is starting to turn into torture. Gods he could use a smoke right now, but he can't...]

[Every minute, every second longer that it takes for them to get any sort of answer is torturous, and as they gather their things and teleport together, she feels that knot in her stomach twisting tighter and tighter to the point where she feels sick all over again. She tries not to think about either possibility, but it's hard when they sneak out the back door, trying to be as covert as possible, and she sees that 24-hour clinic sign up ahead. Tries not to think about them as she grips his hand tighter than she's ever held it before. Tries not to as she reminds herself to breathe.

It's unlike anything she's ever felt before, all of this. Her mind spins, and then it feels like the whole world spins with it. The silence of these streets in this part of Nogard rings too loud in her ears, and she summons a wind to help break it, and to keep her cool. To help ground them both when she needs him to be her anchor.

The clinic is quiet as well, with only a few people waiting to speak to a medic. Not a familiar face in sight, fortunately, and so after giving their names, they are made to wait with the promise that it won't be long.

More waiting. More agonizing waiting, even if it will only be a few minutes.

As they take a seat and someone else is called inside, she opens and closes a fist distractedly, her foot tapping impatiently on the ground. She could also use a smoke right about now—]

[Now that they are here, waiting, it feels even more real and again he doesn't know what to think. His mind goes back to that night in Latrommi and calculating how much time had passed. Were there are other signs he missed? Should they have been more careful? If it is a negative, should they change things?

...Talk about it?

What is there to talk about? This is a conversation that was supposed to be for a while still.

Even now he doesn't know what to say to her. His arm is wrapped tight around her, hand still holding hers, and he can tell she's even more apprehensive about this as she rightfully should be. A new kind of guilt settles in at that, and he wants to say something, anything that might could alleviate even some of it. But his master of words is failing him now, and he only manages a small quiet call to her—]

...Benna, I—

[—before her name is called in.

Knowing how she would feel now that they are getting closer, he stands with her and refuses to leave her side. It helps that they only said this was to check her health due to her feeling ill, which is not a lie, and she certainly looks like she needs his support, so there is no protest from the nurse as they are ushered into a private room.

Where they once again must wait, but hopefully it won't be much longer...]

[Her eyes go to him, tearing away from their hands at the sound of his voice. Her heart skips several beats, wondering what he might have to say to her that could make him sound like that. But then it races when she hears her name from the front of the room, interrupting whatever it is, the nurse beckoning them.

Terror laces her features as she gets to her feet, squeezing his hand again as they follow her past the reception desk and to a private room where they are told to wait. And, as they sit in this ringing silence where seconds feel like hours, Benedikta doesn't know what kind of terror it is she feels.

Slowly, she looks at him, trying to keep her expression as steeled as possible and failing, especially when her voice breaks.]

... What was it that you'd wanted to say?

[Now in the privacy of the room, Cid looks at her and again feels that ache at seeing her trying to be strong but clearly about ready to fall apart. Once more his arm goes around her as he takes a moment before he answers.]

That...I am sorry you are going through this and to remind you that I am here and always will be.

[Even if it really is nothing and just some other illness, she has been dealing with this on her own and it's understandable that she would be like this. Such a big unknown... And clearly fearing what he might think or do...

He squeezes her hand.]

Whether it's nothing or not, it'll be all right. So just take a few deep breaths.

[Her eyes widen at that, and she sits on the verge of tears. All of this—what he is doing is not making this any easier for her. Stirring all of these feelings is not what she anticipated when she told him. She expected yelling and crying, maybe running away to hide for a while, but not this. This is far more dangerous than any argument they could get into about this. This little spark...

She tilts her head in his direction, seeking him out naturally anyway.]

You said all that already.

[A poor attempt to lighten the mood, she tries to laugh as she squeezes his hand in turn.]

Are you not afraid that I might be the one to fly away?

I am.

[A small, rueful smile.]

But even if you did, either I'll find you or you'll come back.

[She turns her head so that she can brush the tip of her nose against his, a shaky breath exhaling over his lips.]

It would be much easier to do if you were not so good to me all the time.

If that's the case, I suppose I should continue what I'm doing.

[A light smile as he lightly rests his forehead against hers.]

For now, let's just have them check your health.

[She hears footsteps and voices coming from outside in the hallway, and she lowers her own.]

... What do I even tell them?

The truth—just how you've been feeling, your nausea, the stomach pains. For all we know it really could be food poisoning, but if not...

[His eyes go to the door as sounds draw nearer.]

They'll be able to tell.

[And the door will open.]

[Her heart has never leapt and sunk so hard at the same time before as it does when the door opens and the nurse steps inside. He’ll certainly feel her hand trembling in his, and as she starts to explain her thoughts and her worries, and all of the symptoms that she's been experiencing the last couple of months, what she has been up to. How she had forgotten her potions when they had gone to Latrommi two months ago, their trip to the Abyss and what happened there with the flowers, and then the days of sickness that brought her here now.

The nurse listens, patient, even as Benedikta struggles to get her words out, but with Cid there to help her explain, they manage between themselves. She suggests that they run a couple of tests, just to be certain, and she is apprehensive at first, not quite sure what to expect, but answers are answers, and that is what they came here for, isn't it? So, after a few reluctant moments of deliberation, she agrees.

The strangest part of it all is the pulse check. She doesn't ask about it because what does she know, but she is pretty sure that this is not the way to check? How in the world is her heartbeat supposed to tell anything other than that she is nervous as all hell? And when the nurse tells her that it's quick, she just gives a roll of her eyes because of course it is? What else were they expecting?

Ridiculous.

As expected, it doesn't really say much besides the nurse reminding Benedikta to calm down and remember to breathe. One more test and that should be the one to tell them, and oh, how lovely. She has to fucking piss on a stick. That one she is definitely hesitant to do, but the nurse assures her again that it will be the fastest way to get answers. So... after a glance back at Cid, she leaves him and the nurse alone for a time so she can go... do that.

They have to wait through a whole agonizing fifteen minutes for it to work, and the nurse leaves them alone during it. There is not much for them to say while they do wait, and so the silence is tense, and she holds her breath through most of it, only remembering how to do so again when the nurse returns with the test. She can tell that she isn't sure whether she should smile or not. Whether it is good or bad news. So, she just comes out and says it—

"It's a negative."

And Benedikta is met with the most confusing onslaught of emotions she has ever felt in her life...

So confusing that she barely hears what else the nurse has to say—that what she experienced was most likely a very bad combination of high-level stress, anxiety, and what was probably food that her stomach did not agree with. Next thing she knows, she is being pulled out of the room and into another and there is a different nurse, and a needle in her arm drawing blood for some extra tests just to be sure, but that will take at least a few days for them to know for certain.

It's only when she returns to him and the nurse in their private room that her mind is finally pulled back to the present, the woman's voice soft as she finishes taking her notes.

"Your husband is very supportive..."

That is what gets Benedikta's attention back, and she stumbles over a reply, her throat still dry and her tongue still tied.]

He is—

[Not my husband, is what she had almost said, but as she glances over to him sitting beside her, looking very supportive indeed, she cannot bring herself to deny any of it. He... is supportive. He has stuck by her side even on her worst days. He... might as well be.

So, instead, she nods.]

... Yes. He is.

[She leaves it at that, and the nurse smiles.

"Feel free to take all the time you need. You can just leave once you're done, and I'll be in touch in a couple days with the results."]

Edited 2024-08-16 16:26 (UTC)

[It's nerve-wracking to say the least, especially when they have to wait still longer before the results come in.

And when they do...

...

He's not sure what to think. A part of him is relieved because they are in no way ready and there was also the greater issue of the rifts. The questions of what would happen if either of them disappeared did hover his mind before, but he didn't want to delve more into it without needing to. Not to mention all the usual risks.

But there was also a... Little. Very, very, very teeny tiny second of...

Benedikta being ushered away to get her blood drawn and further testing pulls him out of his daze and only manages a brief smile and reassuring hand squeeze before they leave and he is once more left alone in the room. A room that seems so big and small at the same time. Slowly he brings his hand up to his face and rubs over his eyes, the initial shock and layers of apprehension and nerves slow to dissipate.

Negative... Negative...

That's a good thing, it really is. It really...

He looks up when the door suddenly opens and a different nurse appears. Confused, they offer if he would like a quick check up while "his wife" is getting her tests done.

He can only stare at the woman blankly before he finally manages a response, and once more he feels as if he's in a daze as he answers the routine questions, only giving a wry grin at the very notable frown when he admits his smoking and drinking habits. What, at least he's not an alcoholic and given where they are that shouldn't be so uncommon. And there's more muttering when a quick breathing test at least shows his lungs functioning well. His blood pressure, however...

At the request for his blood to be tested he pauses. Not because he's against it, but he wonders if it would reveal anything about the curse and how it was affecting him. Without the external signs, he can only assume there is something going on internally. But would they be able to tell through blood? Eventually he concedes and is prepared to move like Benedikta had to, but it seems they already prepared and can do it there.

It confuses him for a moment, but he accepts. A prick, quick blood draw, and it's done.

"We should have the results the same time as your wife's so you can both return together," he is told, along with the general warnings about his health.

Cid only smiles, thanks her, and once again is left to wait for Benedikta while he ruminates over the exam. Honestly, it's nothing new. It's all things he's heard before, even from Tarja. And like always, he's ready to just ignore it, but... This recent scare is making him think a little more of how he should handle his life.

Especially with those words sticking to him.

"Your wife."

When Benedikta finally returns not long after he greets her with that usual relaxed smile and there's only that slight odd but amused feeling at the nurse's words. Only once she's left and the door closed does he speak up.]

How are you feeling?

[Once the door clicks shut and they are left in the dead silence does his voice feel so distant, like a faraway echo that tries to beckon her out of her racing thoughts. It takes a few moments longer than normal for his question to register and when it does, she turns to him with a furrow in her brow. Her mouth opens and then closes, and her frown only deepens.

How is she feeling?

She doesn't know what sort of word to put to this right now besides—]

Too much.

[Her eyes flit across his face, like she's searching for the answers to her questions there, but when she finds just as much confusion in his eyes reflected back, she drops her gaze away.]

... We should return home.

[He studies her carefully before nodding a little and gently brushing his palm against her cheek.]

All right.

[He stands then, helping her up before guiding them out, checking the counter one last time. He had used his workshop address as point of contact, along with his shellphone ID, and they will send a message to one or the other for when to return, but to expect within the end of the week.

After that, he pays for their services and once outside the ring is activated to bring them back to their home within the Roost. Only once within those familiar, private walls does he feel he can relax a little more...

And pull her into a hug.]

[She lets him do most of the talking, her own mind a bit too frazzled, and for what? That was good news, right? Not so much the stuff about the stress—having to be told by someone else that she needs to learn to take it easy on herself is embarrassing enough. But the tests came back negative, they are in the clear, she was right in that she was worried about nothing.

So then why...?

It isn't until they are standing in the middle of their home on the island that she returns to her senses, as he pulls her into his arms again. She stiffens, if only so that she can let loose all of that tension in one giant exhale into that embrace. Her body deflates against his, and in spite of this giant wash of relief coming over her, this weight being lifted from her shoulders after months of worrying, there's a new heaviness that sets in her chest.

For now, though, she just lets him hold her, and she wraps her arms around him in return, exhausted, and choking on words.]

I am sorry that I made you worry.

Don't be.

[A small kiss against the side of her head.]

I'm just glad we were able to figure out what was going on.

Mm.

[Just the tiniest sound from where her face is currently buried against his chest, and her arms tighten around him. She's almost afraid to ask, almost afraid to know, but...]

... What are you thinking?

[The question could be for anything, but he knows what she really means. And there is a moment where he doesn't answer, just standing there holding her as he gathers his thoughts and thinks about his reflections back in the patient room.

...]

...Honestly, I'm not sure.

[His answer comes with a deep exhale.]

But does it matter? Your feelings are the ones that are more important here.

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