log 🌻 in the absence of sunshine

[multidisciplinary]

Who: Zelda and Darin
Status: Closed
Where: Zelda's apartment on Eltrut
What: (Backdated to August 15) The aftermath of their fight with Ganondorf the previous night.
Warnings: Major injury, probably some PTSD, and other such warnings that come with hurt/comfort threads (edit: now with themes of self sacrifice, self loathing, and some surprise UST 🌶️)



[ These past twenty-four hours have been the longest, slowest hours Zelda has had to wait through in a very long time. After her century sealing Calamity Ganon, the princess has developed patience in spades-- in stark contrast to how she was before the Calamity. But now, that patience seems to have evaporated and she feels just like that girl she once was, standing impatiently for hours in the Goddess's springs straining to hear Her voice. Time passes with agonizing slowness, and each hour that Darin does not wake feels somehow slower than the last.

Zelda has seen firsthand how quickly his injuries heal, no matter how severe. When she rescued him from the ocean after his fight with Garuda, it took less than an hour for his broken bones to heal. So although the severity of the injuries he sustained from their fight with Ganondorf were deeply upsetting to Zelda, she expected him to heal through the worst of them before the following dawn.

But that wasn't the case. When dawn came, not only did his injuries barely look any better, but he hadn't hadn't regained consciousness. Dawn turned to day to afternoon to dusk and to night again and still Darin did not wake.

Throughout those long, long hours, there was nothing Zelda could do but wait. Wait and try to treat his wounds as she would anyone else's. She cleaned and bandaged his injuries as best she could, and at least that helped set her mind slightly at ease. She didn't know why this was taking so long, but she could care for him through that time. Goddess knows she had done so for Link countless times in the past.

But first aid only went as far as normal wounds. It was all but useless for treating Gloom burns. Usually, the cure for Gloom sickness was sunlight; Gloom faded away in the light and a person's vitality returned over time. Zelda had never seen Gloom burns before she and Link found the corpse of the Demon King below Hyrule Castle. She had an idea how to treat them-- a poultice made of sundelions might work like a concentrated salve of sunlight. But there are no sundelions in this world and the process for trying to fish for them through the rift was tricky and time consuming. And even if it wasn't, Zelda couldn't risk leaving Darin alone. If something happened... If she wasn't here...

These are the thoughts that have gone round and round in her mind all day, interspersed among memories of that fight with Ganondorf. Everything he said. Everything he did. How even the combined efforts of Darin, Ranma, and Zelda were barely enough to injure him at all. She couldn't get these thoughts out of her head.

Now it's nighttime again. Zelda has barely eaten and she has staunchly avoided sleep-- not just because Darin is on her bed, but because if something were to happen and she was not here beside him.... Well, she wasn't willing to risk that. But after twenty four sleepless hours, even anxiety isn't strong enough to keep her awake. The princess finally nods off sometime in the middle of the night, sitting in her chair at the bedside and leaning against the edge of the bed, her head against his shoulder so that, if he shifts, the movement will wake her. ]

Comments

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...You don't think so...? I think you're looking at it too subjectively. I mean...you know what you felt. Your burdens and hardships but...

I see six people who love one another. And maybe it's not the cleanest or most traditional love but...

[He takes a steadying breath, his voice quiet.]

I've...seen a lot of families. After I was orphaned I was...bounced around a lot. People didn't...want me. But I used to watch them. To learn how I should act. What I should be...

And I learned that family is...well, it's messy. People argue. They do things differently. Everyone has their own way but at the end of the day they...they come together for something. Love for each other. Love for the world. A common purpose, even if that purpose is just...coexisting.

Or...saving a kingdom. A world.

A family...they don't have to be the same or always see eye-to-eye. People are...jagged and lumpy. They've got weird prongs and bent spikes. They're not meant to fit together...

A family happens when they do. When they compliment each other. And...accept each other.

...Faults and all.

Acteon...Acteon was my family for all the time that I knew him. Before...Before I had to leave. But things still felt...I dunno. I'm not sure I was ever able to be truly honest with him.

...Like...Like this.

[His eyes never leave the portrait and he holds Zelda a little tighter with each passing moment. Each word pouring from his heart, stopping just short of admitting that he wants what she had, even though she lost it.]

[It's scary.]

[It hurts.]

[Because for the first time he's acknowledging just how truly lonely he's always been.]

[multidisciplinary]

[ As Zelda listens, her eyes return to the portrait. She turns Darin's words over in her mind, holding up each sentiment and examining it beside the picture as if to see if they match...

...And they do, she finds. Things were sometimes difficult among the Champions. 'Messy,' as Darin said. They each had different ideas about how things should be done, whether that was in regards to the Divine Beasts, Calamity Ganon, or even each other. They didn't always see eye to eye. But they respected each other. They relied on each other. They trusted each other.

They trusted Zelda. Even the day Calamity Ganon was reborn, when they went into battle knowing Zelda's sealing power still had not awakened, they trusted her.

As she feels Darin's hold on her tighten, she shifts her position just slightly so that she can lean in against his side. She doesn't just hear the emotion in his voice; she feels it in his chest as he breathes, in the whisper of his pulse close to her ear. It's something quiet, something vulnerable, something he seems almost scared to let out. ]

Perhaps it is presumptuous of me, but I would like to believe that he knows. [ A thoughtful pause. ] The ways you have described him to me, he reminds me somewhat of Daruk. Daruk saw the best in all of us, even Revali and I. If Acteon was willing to give up everything for you, he likely saw the same.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin remains silent as he listens to Zelda's words. In his mind he replays the last conversation he had with Acteon. And he looks at his free hand thoughtfully.]

That's the hallmark of a great smith, you know. We look at the world differently. We see...we see potential. We look at components, blueprints. We look at rock and metal. We don't see them as they are— the way people see them. We see what they could be. That's...That's how Acteon put it. That's what he told me when I first picked up the hammer...

[He chokes back a sound. Did Acteon really see so much potential in him?]

The...The last time I saw him...I'd been arrested. They were carting me out of Kenmore and back to the capital. I was shackled up. Loaded in the back of a cart. Everyone...Everyone was so sure I was the assassin who murdered that diplomat. And...of course they would— they described me perfectly.

Turns out it was Dromas looking to frame me. To drag me out of my "happy life" so I could live up to my destiny.

[He takes a steadying breath and closes his eyes. He's never told anyone about the last night he saw Acteon.]

I was scared. Terrified. I knew I could break out but if I did, I'd just...I'd make things worse.

Acteon caught up with us on horseback. Scattered the contingent of guards with smoke bombs and flashbangs. He broke into the back of the cart. Told me to snap my shackles and to run. He...

...He gave me my dao. Said it was mine. I never saw him work on it. I don't even know when he made the damn thing.

[Darin spares a glance to his dao still sheathed with his worn and torn clothes. He always wears it but he's never actually drawn it. Not even against Ganondorf.]

He gave me the dao and told me to clear my name. Told me he'd stay behind. He'd made friends in the guard and that they might be able to help him. I...

...Zelda, I ran. I could have stayed and fought but I ran like I always do. I ran and he got arrested in my place and...and...

[Darin drags his free hand down his face as he chokes back the emotion welling up within him.]

How can anyone say I have potential when all I do is run from the people who need me...?

[multidisciplinary]

[ Zelda shifts her position again, this time moving away from her spot at Darin's side so that she can turn around and face him properly. She knows the broad strokes of this story-- the assassination that his brother tried to frame him for, his capture and escape-- but the details are new to her. The details and also his emotions, the insecurities Darin has, until now, never allowed Zelda to see.

She extends one hand and places it on his upper arm. A light touch, just to remind him of her presence and ground him in the moment before he is consumed by past regrets.

She could simply tell Darin that he did the right thing by running, but that approach isn't particularly effective with him. He can shrug off her reassurances too easily. A different approach might be more effective. ]

Let's consider that, then. [ Zelda offers, her tone calm and even. ] Say you stayed and fought off the guards. You managed to keep yourself and Acteon from being captured. What then?

You would both be wanted as criminals. Acteon would not be able to return home to Kenmore and you would not leave him to fend for himself, so you would end up traveling together to pursue Dromas. Alone, you could have moved quickly and discreetly, but as a pair, you would move slower and attract more attention.

Suppose you did somehow manage to catch up to Dromas. His goal is to ruin your happiness to force you to live up to your destiny, correct? Well, you would have just handed him the perfect opportunity to do so. He would kill Acteon before your eyes.

[ Or worse, but Zelda doesn't add anything else. She lets the gravity of her words hang in the air. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin winces at the very thought of Dromas getting his hands on Acteon.]

I...Yeah but...

[He can't argue with her logic. It's sound and he knows, deep in his heart, that she's right. But he can't simply turn off the guilt of that night.]

[He hangs his head, almost afraid to look at Zelda. Flashes of her disappointed face from the night before zip through his mind and he physically flinches at the thought. He knows, rationally, he's not disappointing her.]

[But what if he does? What if he lets her down? Or she gets hurt because of him? Her Champions wouldn't let her down. Link wouldn't let her down.]

[But if he gave those comparisons voice, surely she'd get upset with him. She didn't like when he brought up Link last night either. When he said he wasn't good enough to save her. To give his life for her. Even now he admitted to being a 'downgrade' to wandering around town with the Hero of Hyrule by her side.]

[All of this coming full-circle. Why did she choose him? Why does she care so much?]

[He runs his free hand through his hair while his head remains lowered. He doesn't look up when he responds. Zelda's become far too adept at reading his eyes.]

...You're...You're right. If I'd saved him then...yeah. In the end it was for the best...

[multidisciplinary]

[ She doesn't enjoy walking Darin through such an awful scenario, but at least her words have the desired effect... and hopefully only that. ]

My point is that you did what Acteon wanted you to do when he came to free you. You did not abandon him.

He saved you not only because he knew you were innocent, but because he loves you. He is your father. No doubt, he sees the best in you, beyond anything you think you might see in yourself, and he wanted to give you the opportunity to achieve it.

[ Darin refuses to look at her, so Zelda gets a little closer to him, her hand moving from his arm to his cheek. Whatever he's trying to hide from her, she tries to coax out of him with her touch. ]

And when you return home, after you've cleared your name and freed him properly, you can tell him everything you've told me. [ She rubs her thumb over his cheek. ] Although I suspect that he already knows.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[When he feels her hand on his cheek, he can't help but lift his gaze to meet hers. That gentleness...that tenderness that she treats him with. It's all so foreign. It's care and compassion and love and all of the things he's wanted in his life and when her eyes meet his, it's like she can see through every wall he's ever put up. She can see behind the mask, to the truth of it all. To the truth of him.]

[And his eyes speak volumes. Darin wears so many of his emotions on his sleeve but the ones he keeps inside, the ones that would mark him as vulnerable, as anything but this brash, strong person...? Those are always buried in his eyes. But no one's ever taken the time to look. Acteon had. Kessler had. But they always hard trouble broaching the subject. Navigating their feelings and trying to do right by their fallen friend's son.]

[Zelda looks. She searches. She has the most inquisitive eyes he's ever seen and he gets lost in them constantly. He wants her to look at him the way she looks at her Champions. Happy. Proud. Adoring.]

[He averts his gaze slightly as he feels the heat rush to his cheeks. He really needs to get a hold of himself. His eyes keep flickering back to hers and he can't help but feel she can tell exactly what he's thinking.]

[That he doubts himself. That he doesn't understand why she'd ever choose him over anything else. He called himself 'her blacksmith' but was he too forward? She probably hated it. What does she even need a smith for? He's her friend; that would have made so much more sense! Gods if he could just go back and say that line again—]

[He hasn't even realized that he's taken her hand in his to keep it pressed to his cheek.]

[And he can't help but let the question spill out in a whisper? A soft sound tumbling out of his mouth.]

...Why? Why am I so important to you...? That you can see these things in me...?

How do you know that I won't hurt you...?

[multidisciplinary]

[ It seems like he always asks her these questions of why. Why does she care about him? Why does she go so far for him? Why does she keep coming back when he tries to push her away? She answers him each time, but it's as though those answers don't stick in his mind. They peel away and disappear, and then the questions come anew.

She doesn't mind telling him again. She'll tell him over and over, as many times as it takes. ]

If you are looking for a lofty reason, then I hate to disappoint. The truth is simply that I am fond of you, and the more time we spend together, the more that fondness grows.

I saw from the start that you were brave and selfless, despite how you were determined to tell me otherwise.

When I learned that we both share a number of interests, I decided I wanted to get to know you better.

And I could never understand why it seemed like sometimes you wanted to get to know me too and other times like you wanted nothing to do with me. Perhaps I should have taken that as a sign and left you alone, but I tend to be rather... stubborn, I suppose. [ The corners of her lips turn upward just slightly at that remark. ]

Truthfully, it is impossible for me to know with one hundred percent certainty that you will never hurt me. The same can be said of anyone-- even Link. However unlikely, it is within the realm of possibility.

I would rather take that risk that miss my chance to share days like today with you.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[The truth is...he doesn't want a loft reason. Lofty reasons seem so out of reach. If she'd told him it was because she saw a hero-in-the-making within him...if she tried to placate him with grand and vague niceties...]

[Well, Darin's a dreamer but to break through this shell of doubt, he needs to be hit closer to home.]

["Brave." "Selfless." Those were words usually reserved for people Darin held in such high regard. To think that Zelda saw him this way...it filled his heart. It made his eyes burn. She saw so much good in him. And even though he doesn't see it himself, he knows he can trust Zelda. He can trust his stubborn princess to light a path forward for him.]

[But it's that last sentence that strikes him through the heart. That she'd risk it all just to have more days with him. Like today.]

[He reaches out with his free hand and places it on her cheek just as she's petting his. And he leans in once more for their foreheads to touch. It's so much easier this way. This proximity. It steadies him. It makes sense. Their noses are touching and they can feel each other's breath on their lips and for a fraction of a second, Darin can feel that familiar heat rising inside of him. A heat that he lets spread throughout.]

[By now, the sun has long since dipped over the horizon. It's not quite dusk and not quite twilight— day and night have ceased to be two separate entities and have become this messy, beautiful mix. One bleeding into the other, their boundaries lost. The last vestiges of day and the encroaching wisps of night stream into the window and for once? For once it seems like they're the only two people in the world. In this moment. This is all that matters. She is all that matters. And after this moment in time that seems to be too blissfully short and impossibly long moves forward to the next, he turns his head enough that he can pull her into a slow embrace. So that he can bury his face in the side of her neck and wreathe himself in the scent of her shampoo.]

[He stays like this for a few moments before he just...pulls her backwards. So they fall backwards in bed in each other's arms, resting on the same pillow. He meets her eyes once more and just...smiles.]

I think...that's what I like most about you, Zelda. How stubborn you can be. I've...never met someone who could keep up with my hardheadedness.

I think...saving you that day may have been the best thing I've ever done.

[For the first time he admits what they both know. He saved her. He wasn't just there by happenstance. He wasn't a passerby that randomly decided to act.]

[He saved her life. And in turn, she's become his hero.]

[The one he's always wanted.]

[multidisciplinary]

[ When did he become so dear to her, she wonders. Zelda has made a number of friends in this world over the months that she's been here, but none she's become as close to as Darin. It's not something that happened overnight either. She's had to fight tooth and nail to convince him that she wants to be his friend.

And why has she gone to all that trouble? Darin has asked her that same question several times, including last night. Zelda has always answered that it is because she cares about him, and while that's the truth, it feels like there should be more to it than that. A deeper reason than simply friendship-- simply the prospect of friendship, more accurately-- that she goes to such lengths for him.

But there isn't one. It's simply that she cares for him, and that care has grown and flourished over the time they have spent together. He has so many interests in common with her. His passion and energy electrify her, propelling her forward. He sees the world so differently that she finds herself reexamining it as well-- no, not just the world, he sees her so differently that Zelda even begins to reexamines herself.

As he leans in and their foreheads meet, she closes her eyes and expels her breath in a silent sigh. And then on top of everything else, there's this. This closeness they've come to share. She's not entirely sure how it happened or when, and given how wary Darin can be, it's surprising that he tolerates it at all. But he doesn't just tolerate it-- tolerating is what he did when she hugged him on the Naughtilust. This is different. However, whenever, whyever it happened, he has become receptive to her touch, as she has to his. It's calming, it's steadying, it's safe and secure. During moments like this, everything else seems to fade away until it's just the two of them. And it's nice. It just feels right-- like waking up in bed in the house in Hateno with sunlight streaming in across her face. Somehow, it feels like home.

Darin pulls her so the two of them fall backwards into the bed, their heads meeting the same pillow. Zelda opens her eyes to see him smiling at her. He looks so peaceful, so happy, and the sight makes her heart feel full. When did he become so dear to her? She has no idea. But he is, and she wants to spend so many more days like today with him.

When he remarks on her stubbornness, it causes her to chuckle. With as stubborn as he can be, it takes all she has and more to keep up with him. Darin may, in fact, be the most stubborn man she's ever met-- a title previously held by Link, who stubbornly followed the princess no matter how she tried to evade him. (How ironic that those roles are reversed between her and Darin.)

But when he admits that he saved her... The levity drops from Zelda's visage and she looks him for a moment. This is the first time he's ever acknowledged out loud that he saved her-- he'd always claim it was just luck, just chance, just a whim, or even an accident. He's never been willing to admit that he actually saved her, even though they both know that's what really happened. ]

... That may be the best thing that has ever happened to me.

[ Which feels like a very bold claim to make, but also not an inaccurate one. ]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin laughs bashfully before the full implication of her words hit him. But when they do, he stares at her, eyes questioning if she truly meant what she said.]

[Because saying that saving her was the 'best thing that has ever happened to her'...the implications are staggering. Because that means that she ranks their meeting higher than when Link saved her from her self-imposed seal. It ranks higher than her finding a home in Hateno.]

[Surely...Surely she didn't mean that, right? She was just...swept up in the moment. That her feelings on the matter are skewed. They had an emotional few days. They're lying in bed together, clinging to each other. Staring into each other's matching green eyes as the last streams of light fade, leaving them with nothing but the glow of moonlight beginning to eke its way into the world. Zelda, framed by dwindling sunlight staring so...blissfully happy at him.]

[His eyes beg the question. They search hers for confirmation. Did she really mean that?]

[He wants to ask but he can't help but feel he's asked her to confirm her feelings too many times. Like this time might be the final straw and she'll recant everything. But the question is plain on his face as he swallows the lump of emotion in his throat and pulls the blankets up around them.]

[They have all of this space in this bed...and yet here they are clinging to one another in the center, sharing a singular pillow.]

W...We should sleep...

[His face is burning red but the way he's laying on her side, the way he has her by the waist...there's a perfect, Zelda shaped niche she could fill against his chest, right under his chin.]

🎀

[multidisciplinary]

[ Oh, she means it all right. Perhaps to call it the 'single' best thing that ever happened to her would be inaccurate, but it is without a doubt 'one of' the best things that has ever happened to her. Her gaze speaks volumes and it is brimming with equal parts confidence and affection. True, she is swept up in the moment, in the emotional intensity of the past few days, but even after it all tapers off, this feeling will still burn inside her like an ember.

Zelda nods in agreement. Yes, they should sleep. And yet, she makes no move to free herself from his hold. There's plenty of space in this new bed that they don't need to sleep huddled up close like this.

But they don't really need it. The two of them... they fit together quite nicely. The unusual angles and jagged edges of themselves-- apart, they seem strange and awkward... but together, they slot neatly into place.

Without a word, Zelda slides closer to Darin, fitting herself lightly against his chest and tucking her head beneath his chin. She is close enough that he will feel her breath against his skin, but she is taking care not to lean her weight against him. He is still injured, after all... and close as she is right now, Zelda is keenly aware of the bandages spanning the length of his torso.

She may look the picture of confidence when she moves to nestle against him, but on the inside, her heart is hammering against her chest at her boldness. The little voice of propriety in the back of her mind is shouting about the inappropriateness of curling up in bed so intimately with a man. She and Link have slept close like this before... and yet, that felt nothing like this.

But she ignores that voice. She wants to sleep here, all wrapped up in the warmth of Darin's embrace, feeling his every breath and tremble. She can feel just how much she's flustered him, but it does nothing to make her move. In fact, it only makes her smile to herself. If he didn't want her here, he would push her away.

That's how they drift off to sleep, two complimentary pieces fitted together. ]