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[She hadn't meant to diminish some of that levity, and she can see the way his expression changes, and feel the shift in the way his arms hold her closer, but it was something that needed to be said. He needed to know just how much those words meant.]
I know.
[A kiss to his neck before she buries her nose in it again.]
... Is that all you remembered?
I know.
[A kiss to his neck before she buries her nose in it again.]
... Is that all you remembered?
[He closes his eyes as he recalls what he managed to hear. It wasn't all of it, he knows. Her voice had been faint at first before it started to ring in more sharply part way through. Her cries of how she could not do this...
...]
You said you would make me cakes.
[Rather than bring up the words that had cut straight to his heart, her pleas to return to their home, he attempts to bring back that lighter air instead.]
...]
You said you would make me cakes.
[Rather than bring up the words that had cut straight to his heart, her pleas to return to their home, he attempts to bring back that lighter air instead.]
[A quiet laugh as he nuzzles her gently with his nose brushing against hers.]
I think I can manage.
[His gaze then softens as he looks at her, her voice still ringing in his ears. He does wonder if he should bring up the things before, but he doesn't know how to approach it, so he just lightly kisses her instead.]
I won't leave you alone.
I think I can manage.
[His gaze then softens as he looks at her, her voice still ringing in his ears. He does wonder if he should bring up the things before, but he doesn't know how to approach it, so he just lightly kisses her instead.]
I won't leave you alone.
[It would seem that they are both at an impasse, with Benedikta lost in her thoughts again in trying to find the right words, as well as holding on to this lighter, softer atmosphere. Which is why she is a little surprised by the kiss when it tugs her from them and back into the moment so that she can return it in full, and then drawing him back in for another at his words.]
You promised.
[A long time ago, they had both promised each other that, and that promise is burned into their very beings.]
And I will not either.
[She wants to do more than survive now. She wants to live... Have a life that she could not have before because all she could do was try to survive in a world that would otherwise cut her down. And while they have had their fair share of troubles here, it feels less so with him beside her.
Her lips part, like she has more she wants to say, but the words do not come, and instead, she drops her gaze away from him.]
You promised.
[A long time ago, they had both promised each other that, and that promise is burned into their very beings.]
And I will not either.
[She wants to do more than survive now. She wants to live... Have a life that she could not have before because all she could do was try to survive in a world that would otherwise cut her down. And while they have had their fair share of troubles here, it feels less so with him beside her.
Her lips part, like she has more she wants to say, but the words do not come, and instead, she drops her gaze away from him.]
Hm?
[She should have known he would spot it, but compared to all of the other things they have talked about already, why is it that this feels like the hardest one to speak on?
So there will be some hesitation, some silence that settles over them as she tries to find the right words still, but all she is able to come up with is—]
About that... other thing that I had said... right before you woke up...
[She should have known he would spot it, but compared to all of the other things they have talked about already, why is it that this feels like the hardest one to speak on?
So there will be some hesitation, some silence that settles over them as she tries to find the right words still, but all she is able to come up with is—]
About that... other thing that I had said... right before you woke up...
[He may not see the look on her face from where he is as she lets her hair hide it, but he will no doubt feel the way her breath suddenly catches and how her heart begins to race. She had been so lost in her relief that she had not given him a proper answer, but... now that things are the way they are, as close to normal as they can be—which has changed drastically since they arrived back home—she isn't sure what her answer is anymore.
She knows in her heart what the truth is, and she knows that he knows it too, but...]
Cidolfus...
[His name comes slowly and quietly.]
You know that I... do...yes? What I want...
She knows in her heart what the truth is, and she knows that he knows it too, but...]
Cidolfus...
[His name comes slowly and quietly.]
You know that I... do...yes? What I want...
[He shuts her mouth with his, kissing her roughly while pulling her closer to him.
He's known the answer since the very first time she asked and confirmed each time that followed. Knew from their previous discussions that she does want to, truly, but was not ready for it then. And all of that was fine. It really was because he could be satisfied knowing that she will one day fully commit and there would no need for any further waiting. As far as he's concerned, they are already in their "engagement period." Hell, with how they are living together and behave, they practically are. At this point, the act of marriage would just be a formality, making it all official.]
I know.
[So he knows that what she is saying now is a "yes," but not just yet. Closer, but not yet.
And there's another reason why he stops her as he did, a light smile playing at his lips as they brush against hers.]
But don't answer yet. It would be poor form of me to not do it properly.
He's known the answer since the very first time she asked and confirmed each time that followed. Knew from their previous discussions that she does want to, truly, but was not ready for it then. And all of that was fine. It really was because he could be satisfied knowing that she will one day fully commit and there would no need for any further waiting. As far as he's concerned, they are already in their "engagement period." Hell, with how they are living together and behave, they practically are. At this point, the act of marriage would just be a formality, making it all official.]
I know.
[So he knows that what she is saying now is a "yes," but not just yet. Closer, but not yet.
And there's another reason why he stops her as he did, a light smile playing at his lips as they brush against hers.]
But don't answer yet. It would be poor form of me to not do it properly.
[A surprised sound escapes the back of her throat when he steals her lips and devours the words and the very thought that she had been trying to put a voice to. A sound that instantly dies into a sigh as she melts into him, understanding the intent behind the kiss. He need not even say a word because every inch of his lips tells her all she needs.
"I know."
She knows that they both want the same thing. She knows that it lies in the path that their lives are taking. She did not know when or how it would happen, but she always knew, perhaps from the day that she had appeared in his lap after all that time of being away, the bracelet at her wrist knowing exactly where she belonged. It showed her, and she accepted.
But there were still things in the way, obstacles in their path that they would need to overcome. Things that she needed to do first before she could allow herself that. And while this has brought them closer to it, certainly by several long strides, there is still one thing that remains holding her back. One last chain around her heart that she needs to break.
When she feels his smile against her lips, she can't help but do the same, her heart filling with nothing but gratitude and love at his words because that had been just another thing that stopped her before and is stopping her now.]
I think that after everything, you and I deserve a proper one... One where we are not in the sorry state we are in now. Or were in before...
"I know."
She knows that they both want the same thing. She knows that it lies in the path that their lives are taking. She did not know when or how it would happen, but she always knew, perhaps from the day that she had appeared in his lap after all that time of being away, the bracelet at her wrist knowing exactly where she belonged. It showed her, and she accepted.
But there were still things in the way, obstacles in their path that they would need to overcome. Things that she needed to do first before she could allow herself that. And while this has brought them closer to it, certainly by several long strides, there is still one thing that remains holding her back. One last chain around her heart that she needs to break.
When she feels his smile against her lips, she can't help but do the same, her heart filling with nothing but gratitude and love at his words because that had been just another thing that stopped her before and is stopping her now.]
I think that after everything, you and I deserve a proper one... One where we are not in the sorry state we are in now. Or were in before...
Edited 2024-12-05 19:05 (UTC)
[And now he will see that flush in her cheeks, and that glisten along the edges of her eyes as she opens them to meet his.]
I think that confirmation was always there...
[Offered almost too shyly that she feels odd doing so. So vulnerable and laid bare...]
It does not need to be anything grand.
I think that confirmation was always there...
[Offered almost too shyly that she feels odd doing so. So vulnerable and laid bare...]
It does not need to be anything grand.
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