[closed] 🔥 you're the fire and the flood

[phoenixdominant]

Who: Joshua Rosfield + Others
Status: Closed.
Where: Where these threads take place.
What: A catch-all log for closed threads in April. If you would like something with Joshua you can put it here or find my plotting comment here to plan something out.
Warnings: Tba.

Comments

[phoenixdominant]

...

[Alfyn clinging to him has Joshua feeling a certain kind of way. It makes his heart skip a guilty beat before he can stop himself. He swallows carefully and is very glad that Alfyn may not be able to see his face right now, lest he sees Joshua's soft blush.

The man in his arms is exhausted...]

Even now, your thoughts remain with others and your duties. I say it once more, Alfyn. You must grant yourself some ... rest.

[Joshua still allows his own aether to swirl around them softly, like a gentle flowing reminder of Joshua's power as well. Let it be for now, Alfyn. Joshua can take care...]

I'll stay as long as you wish.

[apothecarry]

[Even back home, when he was on the road, Alfyn's constant focus was on the comfort and safety and health of his friends. Rarely did he consider, or take advantage of, such things for himself - seeing everyone else doing well made him plenty happy. Even when the worst happened, and everyone tried so hard to cheer him up...he took their kindness but he didn't feel like he should.]

I've been tryin'. I swear. [He takes a breath full of shaking, another breath that is steadier.] I sleep when I can an' I'm not missin' meals. I just...'m seein' their faces, down there. Everyone trapped...an' everyone who...

[Everyone who he struck down with the axe he carried. No matter how much it had to happen in the moment. To save his friends. To stop them from turning anyone into a godsdamned crystal statue?

In a very quiet voice he admits, at last:] I feel awful.

[phoenixdominant]

[Joshua is no stranger to loss and having to fight to survive. Maybe he understands that more than most people.]

I... I know how difficult it is to banish those images from your mind. The weight of them never truly eases.

[He sighs softly. Alfyn did his best. That's all they can remember and they have to keep living.]

Know and remember that you can only do what you can, Alfyn. You are one man.

[apothecarry]

I coulda done more than I did.

[That may be the crux of it, though it doesn't explain everything. He could have gotten there sooner, somehow? Or taken fewer lives. Been sneakier, or better at breaking people out, or...

Alfyn slumps heavily against Joshua, all the fight gone out of him.]

Sometimes I close my eyes an' all I see is the bodies they were carryin' down into the hold on the rescue ship.

[phoenixdominant]

[He hugs Alfyn... closer. If he can do that. All just trying to support his exhausted friend.]

And what more could you have done... pushed yourself to the brink, just to collapse alongside them? Would that have changed anything, or only cost you your life too?

[Joshua shakes his head.]

You did more than most would, and that speaks to the kind of man you are. Good, through and through.