ramuhs: (⚡ 096)
cidolfus telamon ([personal profile] ramuhs) wrote in [community profile] escordvi 2025-07-06 08:07 pm (UTC)

[Again, he didn't really need the comfort, but... Perhaps it's because this is a story he hasn't told anyone, of a time he had not necessarily forgotten or hidden, but... Moved on from, it feels as if a hidden weight has lifted, a strange relief that her touch and presence helps foster. So his eyes close as he leans in closer to her.]

Not at all.

[A dry, bitter laugh.]

I thought I would at least feel something, like pride or relief. But instead I just felt regret. Even if it was a life one would argue worth taking, it was still a life, one taken not out of defense or protection, but in cold blood and hatred. Blood that would be on my hands forever.

It made me think that I was no better than them and that my parents would actually be disappointed in what I had done, but that was part of that "teaching moment" my mentor had me experience. And without him there, I might have just fallen apart right there.

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