escordvi | closed ⚡🪶 and forevermore, i'll be chasing the storm we had.

And how were those?

Mm. It was good enough that I'd definitely dip in for seconds.

[Are they still talking about food or...?]

Let's hope your patience holds out until I finish these ones, though.

[Definitely not talking about the food and he knows it. Otherwise he'd feign more offense because he made these just for her.

So there's a quirk of his lips.]

I think I can manage. Though now I wonder how your patience will hold—!?

[And just as he's about to tease her in return, there is SUDDENLY CAT in his lap, surprising him enough that when he suddenly sits back the table shakes a bit and he almost drops his fork.]

Ashtail? What are you doing you little grub—

[Just a very indignant meeeoooowr as she stands on his lap, looking up at him before gazing over the table at Benedikta.

And then promptly curling up right there on his lap. Purring.]

...

[Benedikta glares right back at the cat. Excuse you cat, they were having a moment? And now he gets to have the last word!? How very rude?]

Mind your manners.

[And she is just as indignant as she stabs her pancake with her fork—]

So much for dessert.

[—and shoves the bite into her mouth.]

[Well. It's clear who won that challenge—]

Jealous, are we?

[Smirk before he continues eating, his other hand automatically petting Ashtail which will only elicit even louder purrs.]

[No one won? Because the cat jumped up onto his lap and interrupted them??]

Yes. She is.

[Stupid purring cat. That is her spot.]

Edited 2024-02-04 05:09 (UTC)

[And yet someone's patience is gone—

There's a small laugh at that.]

You're probably not wrong.

[And he's looking over at her with a very amused shine in his eyes, because he still finds them so similar.]

I'll be sure to make it up to you.

[She eyes them across the table as her fork pokes idly at what's left of her sausage.]

What are you looking at me like that for?

Nothing.

[So not nothing, but he just hides his grin behind his mug as he sips his coffee before resuming eating.]

[Another suspicious look...

...

...before she drops it with a sigh.

And she'll go back to eating her food silently for a while, trying not to pout while she does. They had been having as good a time as ever, certainly leagues better than they had in a while, and it's ruined by that unruly cat of his.

The silence that now traps itself between them is a bit overbearing, and so Benedikta lets her thoughts wander while she finishes up the last bites of her pancakes. It's a dangerous thing, letting them do that, because they go back to the night before when she'd rather keep them in the present.

And it will be with a more distant, somber expression that she pokes at that very last piece of her food—a slice of peach on her plate.]

[It's not until a few minutes in does he realize that she is truly feeling...disappointed? Depressed? Sad? About the sudden disruption, and he watches her for a moment, a slight frown forming. He hadn't minded Ashtail coming in, mostly because he's used to her doing so when he's eating or sitting around somewhere, and he can more or less ignore her presence. But it seems that Benedikta isn't the same...

Hmmmm.

After watching her for a little longer, he sets down his fork, gives Ashtail one last little scratch on her chin, and sets her down. Much to the cat's indignation, but Cid will ignore her for now and look back up to Benedikta.]

All right, what's on your mind, love. Were you really bothered just now?

[His voice immediately draws her back from where she'd been, not having even realized that he had set Ashtail on the floor until she no longer sees her in his lap.]

Well, yes.

[That answer comes swiftly, that bit of frustration edging her voice, but it's gone just as quick as it had come.]

... I was just thinking about last night again is all. On the ship.

[He's going to have to work on getting them bond—

But for now, he'll focus on the latter point.]

What about it?

[Well, there's plenty about it that she still wishes she could say... but how much of it would send them spiralling back into everything they had to work through last night?

But there is one small detail that has been bothering her.]

... Do you really think that I couldn't have protected her?

[...Ah.

He studies her for a moment before he idly taps his fingers against the edge of the table.]

Depends on what you're trying to protect her from.

[Her voice remains as quiet as her expression.]

What else is there to protect her from? Should he be desperate enough, he will snuff her out on Eltrut regardless of how well she hides. Unless someone finds him first.

And that is why I said that instead of taking her, leave her with the Paladins and focus on finding the man.

But—

[She tries to stem that fury that builds in her chest. Not with Cid, but with the situation as a whole. She knows, however, that if she lets it get the better of her, she will only end up taking it out on him, and hells... she is trying her damnest not to. Not after the revelations they went through last night.

She sighs, but it sounds more like a growl.]

If it's true and he is on Nogard, then... I suppose it's a matter of time before someone does.

[...

She glances up at him.]

But what if there are more out there like her?

[He can tell she's holding back, and he knows this is difficult. So he reaches out to take her hand once more, his thumb brushing against hers.]

Is that something you'd like to do? Find and help young girls who could be in the same situation?

[Strangely enough, the gesture grounds her, and her fingers curl around his hand.]

I don't know.

[She doesn't mean for her voice to sound so sharp.

Her? Helping people? Those words don't belong in the same sentence, and she feels that awful skin-crawling sensation again that shoots up and down her spine.]

I don't like the thought of... men like him running around. Or there being others like him out there.

[Others who would use women... or anyone... as a tool.

The furrow in her brow deepens, and though her voice starts to rise, her hand squeezes his as if to let him know that it isn't because of him that it is.]

She could hardly defend herself. And what if others are not so lucky or wealthy enough to hire the protection of the Paladins?

[She may sound sharp, but he's smiling. Because he sees what she is hesitant to accept.]

Then you have your answer.

This world may be better than ours overall, but there is no doubt there are others out there like her who are being exploited and feel trapped where they are. And despite what you think, I believe you are the perfect woman to help them.

[Something tightens within her chest. That he would show such confidence in her...

With a strained voice, she shakes her head.]

How, Cidolfus?

[She has never done something like that before. Saved people that wasn't her. Protected people from those who would use them. Especially those who hadn't the means to defend themselves. But it's as she's rotating through these questions slowly in her head that a realization dawns on her.]

... How did you do it?

[He can see her thoughts turning, and he wonders, did she realize? Did she finally understand or figure out why he did what he did? Part of him hopes she doesn't realize the full truth, but another is curious to know what she would think or feel if she did.

The one who sent him on that journey. The one who gave him a reason to act indirectly, to create that world in the only other way he could.

For her.]

It wasn't easy.

[But he won't tell her. Not now.]

I was fighting against an entire social system ingrained in everyone's minds. Which is why the first thing you absolutely need isn't about logistics or people, but about yourself. And that is having faith.

[A firm look as she may remember him saying those words in what seems like a lifetime ago when it really was only months back atop that caer.]

No matter how tiring, stressful, or amount of deaths and failures you face, you have to have faith in what you're doing. And with it comes acceptance and resolve to continue no matter what happens. You have to not only learn to accept that you can't save everyone, but be able to continue to save the ones that are still left.

Edited 2024-02-04 07:39 (UTC)

["You have to not only learn to accept that you can't save everyone, but be able to continue to save the ones left you can."

Does he know how much those words twist and coil like vines around her heart? She wonders... because was she one the ones he thinks he couldn't save?

The problem... is that shaking off the indignant pride that she thinks she can save them all is a hard one. This is not such a big undertaking as his mission, even if she still doesn't understand what the true depths of it had been—it's nothing like going against an ingrained system, and she's sure that there are others out there who would agree with her.

But are there others who would be willing to do the same? The fact that there were more Corsairs than just them who had gone after her, how many of them turned a blind eye when they found her? And how many turned around and left her to be?

She's still shaken that she had fallen for it at all.

She finally lifts her gaze to him, a spark of familiarity in her eyes.]

Fighting for something you believe in, hm?

Edited 2024-02-04 07:45 (UTC)

[He knows how she is and knows she will need time, so all he does is continue to give her those gestures of reassurance.]

It's the only way to have that strength to keep going, to make it matter.

[Another gentle stroke of his thumb before he squeezes her hand.]

You should at least think about it. Maybe try something small once, see how it goes. And if it is something you want to pursue, I'll help. I have a little experience, after all.

[A small little joke to try and loosen the heavy air a little.]

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