escordvi | [semi-open] 💣 they're gonna clean up your looks

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[semi-open] 💣 they're gonna clean up your looks

Who: The PLUS ULTRA! crew & friends.
Status: Semi-open.
Where: The Mighty Explosion God Ship Bomb!! ship that is docked in Eltrut or Elah. Or the small cottage the crew owns in Elah.
What: A catch-all mingle log for March for the PLUS ULTRA! crew and any friends happening by. Some Manta Board quest prompts have been included too.
Warnings: Tba.

⛵ Like the rest of the ships around the docks lately, the explosion of sea slugs has taken over the hero's ship as well. It's covered in what seems like hundreds of playful and colourful sea slugs. They are all over the deck, climbing up the mast and leaving strings of sticky slime all over the place. The slugs will either need to be removed somehow or killed. And the sea slug slime mopped up...

If crewmates and friends are looking for partners to go harvesting underwater pineapples with the ship can also be found in Eltrut waters where the special pineapples can be found. Go swimming or diving to collect as many underwater pineapples for the ship stores as possible.

🌼 If not on the ship, the crew can sometimes be found at their small cottage on the paladin's leviathan, Elah. The cottage is small but happens to be well kept despite four very unruly and busy teenagers living inside it. They have a small garden growing outside as well as various plants and pots all over the terrace.

And they seem to be preparing to build some kind of new addition to the cottage soon too as there is a pile of stone and wood stacked up outside. And an apple-shaped sheep keeps walking around too. Baaah.

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[Maybe if Kaveh wasn't so tall, he wouldn't be in this predicament to begin with! Ranma stepped out behind the bushes, walking up to the cage with a casual saunter like he wasn't responsible.]

You seem to be holding my catch, Kaveh. Mind putting it down and getting outta my trap?

[Ranma didn't sound all that annoyed, relaxing his arms behind his head with a small hum. The shapple, if Kaveh's looking closely, seems to be glaring daggers at the martial artist. In fact, it's currently leaping out of the architect's arm to bash against the wooden cage's frame. To no avail despite its tiny body trying to put in all the effort.]

...What are you going to do with it?

[Kaveh's eyes narrow and he may be holding the shapple protectively to his body. You aren't going to eat it, are you, Ranma. ARE YOU?]

[Seeing that judgmental glare he was getting, Ranma threw up his hand defensively.]

Nothing! I turned a lot of things into sheep with a spell, and a lotta of them are running all over the place. Some people've been adding them to their farms and livestock and what not. I was gonna try rounding them up and see if I couldn't turn a profit?

[Come on Kaveh, like you're not wondering if the shapple tastes like meat or apple.]

... Plus it chewed on my clothes. That too.

[The shapple belted in an accusatory manner, pointing its tiny leaf-colored stubby leg at the thermos sticking out in Ranma's pocket.]

Edited 2024-03-05 05:25 (UTC)

...Do you have something in that thermos, Ranma?

[He is looking down at the shapple. Tiny one if you are making shit up to mug the boy, you and Kaveh are gonna have Words.]

Isn't that spell supposed to wear off after an hour?

Just some hot water?

[The shapple gazed up, staring into Kaveh's eyes with its beady black appleseed shaped ones.]

Yeah, you see... I didn't get the spell entirely down. I got the 'turn-things-to-sheep' part, but they were stuck like that and I didn't know how to reverse it. I tried a lotta stuff-- [Ranma now realized why the shapple was staring at him like he wanted to tear more than his clothes apart. His smile became more and more grain, his voice a higher octave as he visibly shrank back with shame.] --and one of those attempts included pouring slightly boiling hot water on them?

[Please don't be mad.]

[Kaveh is giving him the driest look on the face of the turtle.]

I think it might be best if I took this one with me, don't you?

[For everyone involved.]

I know someone who should be able to turn it back, and if not, I have plant magic, I can probably figure it out. But let's safe the boiling water for tea and coffee next time, alright?

[Somehow that's worst than if he was mad at him.]

You're really going to steal my hard earned catch?

[Ranma pouted, looking at Kaveh all sad with big blue puppy dog eyes. Which quickly faded to irritation as he got up to cross his arms.]

Look, in the right context, you'd understand why. I wasn't just scalding sheep for fun... [He grumbled, walking over to the cage to start lifting it up.]

If it's dubloons you're after for it, I can pay you.

[Kaveh can't quite shrug in the cage, as he's holding tight to the still somewhat murderous shapple.]

I get that, but you also get why to this one the context doesn't matter much, yes?

[The offer of dubloons quelled him a little. He's still going to be a little salty about it, but that's just Ranma.]

I was trying to get things back to normal. I'm pretty sure anyone else'd want to if they got turned into something they didn't want to. [He knelt down to look at the sheep with a friendly smile, trying to placate its red mist.] Don't you see? I was just trying to turn you back into a normal, boring, every-day apple that doesn't move or breathe or any form of sentiency. I was just tryin' to do ya' a favor!

[... With sound reasoning like that, it's a complete utter mystery why as soon as Ranma lifted up the cage, the shapple tackled him to enact its wrath.]

ACK- WAIT NO STOP OW OW-- [It's now biting him. On skin and flesh this time instead of silk and fabric.]

Edited 2024-03-05 06:06 (UTC)

[Right. Telekinesis has it's uses, and one of them is to pry an enraged shapple off one of Kaveh's feral teenagers and just. bring it back to Kaveh's hands.]

Now, that's enough from you. Violence will not solve this, no matter how angry you are, got it?

[Why this works when Kaveh says it is one of the great mysteries of the cosmos. But he'll look over at Ranma.]

...Did it break the skin?

[The shapple struggled to get off, even biting onto Ranma's sleeve to keep the telekinesis from pulling it completely off. Unfortunately, telepathy beats fabric. That sleeve gets completely torn off, hanging from the shapple's mouth that now hanged in the air. It snorted indignantly at Kaveh, looking clearly betrayed. It thought you were cool Kaveh!

Ranma bounced up, covered in a large number of bite marks all over his face, arms and torso with his shirt looking like it was just put through a paper shredder. Other than small trickle of blood budding from the teeth markings that did break skin, there wasn't anything serious.]

Jerk. Ruined a perfectly good shirt... [Because it wasn't like antagonizing a shapple he already pissed off substantially was a terrible idea. The martial artist sighed, walked over to yank his sleeve out of the shapple's mouth, and looked at the blonde man.] I'm fine.

Watch your fingers--!

[CHOMP.]

[He, in fact, didn't watch it. So that's two of Ranma's fingers getting munched on. Ranma's face twisted into a forced smile, lips pursing together to subdue the scream of sheer agony that wanted to escape from his mouth right now.]

GET IT OFF-

[Ranma's now waving his hand around wildly, the shapple still attached and freely being flung around thanks in part to the telekinesis, though it wasn't letting go. It had now acquired the taste of vengeance. Tasted salty and irony.]

Hold your hand still--

[Kaveh can't even reach the damn thing like this, Ranma, hold still!]

[Kaveh, watch your head, because Ranma's swinging it around willy-nilly like it was a big fluffy pillow. At least it won't hurt so badly if it hits... But at the same time, the one swinging it is a martial artist, so...

Duck.]

[Yeah uh.

You clocked him in the head with a shapple. He just dropped, Ranma.

Good job.]

[Ranma momentarily stops waving the shapple around like a flail, hissing from regret more than pain.] Kaveh! [Crap... His gaze turned back over to the shapple on his fingers, glaring daggers now. The shapple itself was also looking wide-eyed at accidentally hitting the nice man that wanted to protect it from the menace.

The same menace that was rearing back a punch.] Let... Go! [With such hostility in his voice, the shapple heeded and let go... Just as Ranma threw that punch. The good news is it avoided joining the boulder sheep in being sent into the stratosphere, landing safely beside Kaveh.

The bad news is that Ranma's whiffing of his punch coupled with him stepping over a rock culminating in him now rolling down a slanting slope down the path at fast speeds.]

[Oh. There's the shapple. Hello shapple. Kaveh's here just contemplating how his life wound up at this point, and how he's going to hide the bruise from Alhaitham.

...And then he hears Ranma start tumbling down the hill. Dammit. He'll have to get up to fix that.

Which he does. So the good news is, a great many vines are sprouting up to slow him down and direct him towards a safe landing.

Bad news: Kaveh selected a very nice looking...pond.]

[Everything is spinning, Ranma's hands are in so much agony he can barely catch himself, and all the while he's wondering how did he get to this point in his life. But as he's trying to focus, he hears the dirt beneath and around him give way to vines that start steering him to safety. For a second, since Ranma's not able to reposition himself, he's thanking Kaveh mentally for helping him with that plant magic...

... And then the next, once he got to see just where he's being steered to, he's cursing Kaveh's name for being a jackass and an idiot! The martial artist'd hit a big rock in the middle of the path, sending him flying through the air. Right where Kaveh intended him to go, which might be a relief to Kaveh but is anything but to the martial artist squirming and trying to do anything but go in the water.

As the law of gravity goes, what goes up must come down. Up went Ranma over the pond, down went Ranma into the pond. Taking quite a while to resurface...]

Ranma? Ranma!

[Well he's gonna have to do something soon, because Kaveh's tossed his cloak to Mehrak and is sprinting for the pond with the intent to dive in after him. With a concussion.

Sorry, bro, you can't defeat his genuine concern and well-meaning nature.]

[It's times like these Ranma wishes Kaveh was just like almost every other adult in his life. Of course, the vine stunt just now lines up with the adults of his world's 'good intentions' turning sour, so that's one step. Kaveh wouldn't be able to dive in after the teen he just knocked into the water, only making it far enough to see someone emerge out of the water...

... It wasn't the black-haired menace he had seen countless times by now. Out of the water, pulling herself to shore was a tiny redheaded girl. One that happened to have the same hairstyle, clothes, and recent wounds as a certain martial artist... Ranma got to her feet, stumbling and swerving in her steps. Head's still spinning some...]

Dammit... [Here she was, now realizing the irony that she once again made the same damn mistake again. Ranma couldn't even tell if it was the universe being an ironic asshole or if she's really a shortsighted moron.]

[Kaveh skids to a stop at the edge of the pond and...stares. Listen, kaveh is a smart man. The same clothes with the same damage and the same injuries? This girl who looks a lot like Ranma, but short and ginger and...a girl? The math is, in fact, mathing.

Honestly he's seen a lot weirder shit than this happen around water, why not.]

Are you alright? I couldn't see anywhere better to break the momentum.

[Just not gonna remark on this, Kaveh? Really?]

[Ranma was in the midst of wringing out water from her pigtail when Kaveh strolled up to the pond. If there were any doubts this girl was Ranma, the flat deadpanned expression she was giving him was a near dead-ringer to the one Ranma gives out left and right.]

Honestly, I'm more upset about the shirt than the everything else. [Not that she isn't bitter Kaveh chose the pond instead of a large bush or literally anything else!]

...There's a lot of 'everything else' to go around.

[He sighs a bit, but he'll pull off his cloak and just hold it out.]

Here. Take that until you can get into something dry.

[It's at this point mehrak will come down the hill. Bearing the shapple.

Mehrak is making a >:| face.]

[No words, only a silent look of 'no duh' present on her face. She'll take the cloak though, wiping her face with it like it's a towel. As the briefcase-shapple duo made it down, the shapple soon turned from crying for Ranma's blood to turning a starch pale with utter horror at the sight of the little redhead that kicked another larger sheep into orbit. Ranma just shot it a silent glare and handed off the now dripping wet towel.]

Thanks... [She crossed her arms and slumped some, her tone sounding like she's heard the same thing over and over with her next words.] Go on and get the questions over with.

I THOUGHT A SHAPPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DADS AWAY

that only works if one of your dads isn't a disney princess

curses, foiled again

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