escordvi | closed 🪶⚡ in this world of ours, safe to be the one you are...

[Even if he did try to tell her again, she wouldn't believe it, still too stuck on the fact that he had hidden it from her all this time, but at his question, she simply shouts back without hesitation, the name falling out of her mouth with yet another sharp gale that cuts through the very wide space between them.]

Ultima.

[And she will just let that word hang for a moment, red, glassy eyes watching him carefully.]

What?

[His eyes shoot wide at that, because he had not even had the faintest idea he could even communicate—]

Then—what happened to Joshua?

[He—did he really just—?

She tells him all of this and that is the thing that he chooses to latch onto? Not about what it is exactly that he had told her, or why, but what happened to Joshua? It's irrational, she knows, but those tears threaten to erupt in her eyes, and they line the edges of them even as she tries to blink them away.

But there's something else that grabs her attention first—]

How did you know it was the Phoenix?

[She doesn't recall telling him that it was Joshua who had been taken over.]

[And there will be once again that stunned look of realization as he remembers...

...

They never told her.

Back when Joshua first revealed he was harboring Ultima's shadow, they all agreed that Barnabas was to never know lest it would put the young Dominant's life at risk. And unfortunately, that included Benedikta since she was allied with Barnabas at the time. It was a reasonable and very likely assumption that she would be quick to try and take Joshua to Barnabas, regardless if her reasons for staying with the bastard were the same as before or not. The point was she was with him.

But after Barnabas left, that was no longer an issue. However this is where time becomes the enemy, because while they never forgot about Ultima, they also didn't constantly think about it. It was sleeping, dormant, and once Benedikta finally joined him came to his side...

He honestly forgot that she had no idea. Perhaps he even was under the false assumption she knew or had been told. It was one of those strange phenomenon where because everyone else knew about it, one assumes others know as well. Not to mention, talking about Ultima or the like was never pleasant for them, and there had never been cause to bring up the topic.

Which is what leads them to where they are today, Cid quietly swearing under his breath.]

Fuck, I forgot—you didn't know.

[They may be underground, beneath the safety of the island's cliffs, but there's a rumble of wind even on the outside of the building. It batters the windows, rattles the door, shakes the walls. An inevitable storm that brews as her heart continues to sink further...]

You knew...

[She grits her teeth so hard that she feels like she might crush her jaw.]

All this time you knew, and you kept it all from me.

[About him, about Ultima, about Barnabas... About her.

Of course, that's the only logical conclusion she could come to. When she finds out all at once how much he has kept from her, even after all the promises that they have made to try and close that rift, to mend that bridge between them, he kept his secrets. She opened herself up, she trusted him...

"I told you."

Her voice echoes in her head, taunting.

"Liars. All of them liars. None of them trust you, and so they lied. They used you."

The laughter rings loud, and with a pained cry, she lifts her hands to her ears to try and block the Eikon out, and when she screams again, it's near hysterical.]

Who else knows!?

[Again he hears Ramuh roaring within him, warning him, but he didn't need the damn Eikon. He can see it clear as day, see clearly everything just crumbling apart and the rift between them widening between again.

Just like before.

He tries to move closer to her, but he can't, the winds repelling him as if determined to keep him back. Were he in better condition he'd be better able to withstand it, but as it is a particular stroke of wind hits his chest, and bites back the pain with a sharp breath as an arm clutches over his chest, staggering.

But he persist.

Dammit, he must—]

Benedikta, we didn't have a choice back then, you were with Barnabas! And then I just forgot—!

Edited 2024-04-30 21:11 (UTC)

[The winds break a moment when she sees him clutch at his chest, sees him in pain, and there's a split second when Benedikta falters. Only half a beat where her heart wishes to go to him instead of push him away because seeing him in pain—never knowing that he had been in the first place is what brought her here in a flurry—but it all hardens again at his answer.

Or rather, the lack of one.]

Answer my question! Who else knows? Who is "we", Cidolfus, because as far as I am concerned, there is only you and me.

[At least it's a simple question, but why does he feel like there's more to it?]

About Ultima in Joshua? Just us, the group—Clive, Jill, Dion. I don't know about Mid, but she likely does.

[Because there is so, so much more to this... but she is simply assuming the absolute worst.]

So, everyone but me.

[Of course it was everyone but her. Why would any one of them trust her, including him? It's just as Garuda continues to tell her...]

[There's just a small sound frustration.]

Yes, we deliberately kept it from you in the beginning—you and Barnabas. But things changed and it's different now. It just had been long enough...

[His gaze lowers a bit.]

Things...became more natural that it felt as if you were already there, and I forget there are things you weren't aware of.

[Of course he knows that's not an excuse, that he's still at fault. How hard had he tried to warn her about Ultima before? How hard did he try to protect her only for it to fall through? Granted, there were further complications on whether Joshua himself would have wanted more people knowing, but it's something he should have at least discussed, especially when he witnessed Joshua's condition firsthand. He was so focused on the problem right in front of him, he completely missed the others that lingered around it.

To have it slip his mind so completely...]

[The King's name hits like a heavy weight against her stomach, like he's dropped an anvil there without warning, and in order to keep herself from sinking all the way down under the pressure, the only thing that she can do is scream. To think that she had followed him, too, knowing now what he had done. Both of them.]

Yes, you conveniently forgot, did you?

[Benedikta slams her fist against the door, and she can feel a bruise already forming from the impact.]

You conveniently forgot, and then proceeded to lie to me about everything else. And I was stupid enough to trust you. To place my faith in you... and in him!

[When she gave up everything because she was loyal. Because he could give her what she thought she wanted when in reality, the thing that she wanted most had turned his back on her.]

And what do I get back in return for it!?

[His expression hardens at that.]

I only lied about my death, that's it! And only because I was afraid of this—[A wild gesture of his arm.]—happening!

Everything else I've been true to you!

Only lied about your death...

[She echoes the words, a scoff turning into shouting, and there's a very abrupt burst of wind yet again, only this time it's more violent, strong enough to throw his chair off its feet and fling it to the wall.]

The fact that you lied at all, Cidolfus!

["Liars! Every last one of them."

Cid.

Ifrit. Shiva. Bahamut. Even the Phoenix, the latter of whom she had grown to actually care for even a scrap. And this is what she gets for it all. More betrayal.

"You know what you must do..."]

I let myself open up to you, I made promises with you, tried to forget everything that you have done...

[It doesn't take much time at all for the room to grow dark, clouds already brewing overhead as the air grows dense with her aether, only instead of the warm tingle that she has gifted him so many times before, it's cold and dark, filled with the hurt and the wrath that she shares with Garuda. There's the faintest flicker of a gold ring in her eyes as the Eikon sinks her claws further into her, but even through the angry tears that start to tumble over her cheeks, she fights back against the shrieking in her head.]

You promised!

[Her hand goes to her chest and she rips the necklace from around it, the chain snapping, so that she can throw it as hard as she can at him, making sure to aim right for his chest.]

Edited 2024-05-01 01:17 (UTC)

[Again the wind makes him stagger, actually sliding him back. He can only imagine how this looks on the outside, but he's more focused on what is in front of him.]

Benna—!

[He tries to shout through the wind, tries to muster the strength he can to push against the wind and take those important steps towards her. If he can reach her—if he can just grab her, take her hand, force her to stay. He'll take whatever she throws at him, endure the biting, the yelling, the punching, whatever it is, he just can't—

But it's in that moment that she utters that scream and it's the sound of the chain snapping that echoes louder than the winds, and his had snaps up just in time for the pendant to hit against his chest. It's only thanks to his arm still held against it does it not fall into the floor, instead his hand quickly fumbling as his mind blanks, the roar of the winds and rumbling of thunder in his mind falling silent as he just stares at it, a more painful memory briefly super imposed over it.]

...No.

[No, no, not again—]

Benedikta, wait—!

[Face pale and the desperation loud and clear in his voice, with the last surge of strength he can muster he tries to rush towards her.]

[She sees him rushing for her, fighting through the winds for her, and for a moment, she seizes up, her breath catching in her chest as he tries to stop her. How badly she wants to let him reach her, to break down in his arms and have him tell her that this was all just a horrible dream, to wake her up in his apartment with the sun speckling his face. This is just another one of those nightmares. Everything that Ultima had said, everything that he had said was nothing more than her fears manifesting in her own head...

But no. As the wind whips across her face, it serves as a reminder that this is all real.

She is dead.

Cid is dead.

Her head is in a box somewhere in Dhalmekia.

Even in death, she was but a mere tool for the man she threw everything away to follow. A mere tool for a war. That was it. That was all...

And now, again, she is being used. Though, she can't even be sure which is worse anymore...

Coming to, her hand snaps up only just before Cid can reach her—]

STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!

[—and she sends as strong a gust at him as she can muster. One powerful enough to knock him off his feet, to splinter every bit of wood in the room, and to knock anything that is not bolted to the floor across it, the pulse of aether so wide that it reaches not just the room, but throughout the roost, shattering the door behind her into pieces.]

[Closer. He just has to get closer to her, he just has to fight through all this fucking wind and reach her. Needs to take her hand, needs to not give up like he did all those years ago. He already lost her twice, he can't lose her again, and he'll be damned if he'll let all of this just blow apart.

But in the end, it's for naught.

Just when he thinks she's within his grasp, there's the blast of wind that sends him flying back, and all he can do is shout at the surge of it before he slams against the opposite wall, body crumpling to the floor right after. If it weren't for the searing pain that shoots from his chest and the gasping need for air, he might have passed out then and there. This, too, is familiar—how she had sent him flying into Greagor's statue down in that underground chapel, the last time they would fight each other.

One of the last times he would see her.

Fueled only be desperate need and determination, his eyes struggle open as he looks up. In front of him is the pendant that had fallen out of his hand, and the pearls and gems he had been working on crafting that bracelet for her are also scattered around him, the force of her winds enough to blow it out of the drawer and send it all crashing to the floor. Hand reaching out to grasp the pendant, he also uses it to try and pull himself.]

Benna...please...wait...!

[He gasps, breathing strained as he feels his body failing him in a time when he needs it most. Fucking damn, why is it always like this!? Yet already his vision is blurring, worsened by the wind as it's now taking everything to even push himself halfway.]

Edited 2024-05-01 16:20 (UTC)

[Through the wind that fills the room, he'll see that green glow, and the white feathers that are pulled into the gale from the wings that spread from her back. More than that, however, he'll feel that next pulse of her aether, dense and unyielding as it swells beyond the confines of the room, those feelings of her anger and hurt, of betrayal, running rampant within it, cold and biting against the skin. It may feel familiar to him, with that sharp ringing, that tingle in the back of his mind at the stirring of something bigger, greater, as she feels Garuda awaken. The only difference is that she does not fight back completely against that feeling as she has so many times before. She lets the power surge through her, lets it awaken every nerve, every speck of aether that she has...

"Benna...please...wait...!"

Although it makes her heart twist seeing him like this, hearing that name she'd grown so fond of, the plea falls on deaf, unwilling ears. It's a sight and sound that only makes that anger grow until it boils over completely, and it can only come out in an earth-shattering scream that is drowned out in the wind, Garuda's voice laced into hers now.]

Too late. ... Goodbye, Cidolfus.

[The words are spat out at him, just like they were in the chapel the night of their final encounter, and they are filled with as much loathing, as much hatred, as they had been then, perhaps even more so.

Because he no longer deserves her. This time, she would let him live if only so that he could bear the weight of that guilt, that shame that she knows he has for lying to her all this time. The thought of knowing that he had made the same mistake again. He would have to live with the burden that all of those promises, all of those days they spent together were for nothing, and that he had shattered them all and thrown them in her face.

He would have to live with knowing that she loved him, and he still lost her anyway.

The lies, the deceit. All this time, she had been blind, stupid enough to believe that they could have anything. Naïve and hopeful enough that she believed that they could move on from their pasts. She truly believed that those wounds would heal, but instead, he's reopened every single one by driving a knife into them one by one.

That he had known all this time—knew how much it mattered to her, knew about what happened to her and still, he kept it all a secret when she had the right to know, it makes her wonder what else he might be hiding from her.

Not that it matters anymore, not when they are through, that rift growing far wider than it ever has before. She trusted him with her whole self, even when she was afraid to. She chased what she thought was her freedom yet again. And this is where it got her.

Lied to. Betrayed. Her head in a fucking box in Dhalmekia, a mere tool to fuel a war between men even in death.

All the books and plays have said that love conquers all, but in their case, it only destroyed. Again.

It's with that thought that she storms out, past the people that she knew had followed her here, blasting them out of her way with a mere flourish of her wrist. That wind follows after her, sweeping through the inside of the Roost, carrying with it dust and debris, so violent that could cut through skin. And in a single, strong beat of her wings, she soars through the ceiling, crashing through one of the many skylights he had made sure to keep for her, crumbling it further open on her way out.

And this island that had been her home is no longer that. It is just another painful reminder of what she had tried to overcome but could not. Winds will engulf it, and it carries in the clouds, dark and looming and far more terrifying than any storm that's passed over it. She watches as trees are torn from the earth by their roots and lifted into the swirling gale that forms, and there will be a loud crash as one of her massive claws sweeps over the mountainside, tearing through one of the many gryphon's nests and sending them into a frenzy that will soon turn into an all-out war in the hours to come.

And even after she flies off over the seas with one final scream that shakes the island to its core, she's left behind quite the mess, the winds never ceasing and only growing stronger, twisting gales and giant waves pounding against the surrounding mountains and beaches, destroying whatever they can manage in their path...

She flies. Faster than she's ever flown before, as far as her wings can take her. The cool air cuts against her cheeks and the streams of tears that stain them as the storms follow after her, the tide growing, but she doesn't care. She needs to get as far from him as she can...

She needs to get as far from everyone as she can because she can feel her. Garuda. And even if she wanted to stop her, could she?

Die...

Cid. Barnabas. All of them. Every last one of them.

Die, die...

Screaming in her head, her claws gripping around Benedikta's throat, she has a hold on her. So tight that Benedikta no longer knows where she ends and the Eikon begins.

... Everything must die!

At long last, she is free.]

Edited 2024-05-01 18:45 (UTC)

[He could feel it, even as he lost grip of his senses. See it, that green that other times can be beautiful but now just an ominous glow, a signal of destruction that is happening not just around him, but between them. Hear it in the winds and in the thunderous roars of Ramuh, as if the Eikon was trying to shake him to try and stop the incoming madness.

But he can't. As much as part of him wants to get on his feet and go after her, another part is sinking in that despair of history repeating itself. The pain in his chest is not just the physical as he continues to gasp and struggle to stay conscious, the edges of the pendant digging and cutting into his palm. It's also his heart, the guilt and regret tearing into it like the winds that tore through this room and the island.

He did this.

Even if he still has a feeling there's something more to it than just himself, he still aided in that breach of trust. He had tried to plan it, to say it himself, but in the end he just kept stalling and lying and hiding it. He said it was because he wasn't sure how she would react, but he knew. Perhaps not expected to this extent, but he knew—and he was afraid. Afraid that it would be the one thing, the one weak point that would shatter everything.

And it all came true.

Fuck.

He needs to get up, he needs to stop her—find her and try once again to make things right even if he may not deserve it. At the very least, he had to fulfill that vow he could not keep last time for he refuses to let her lose herself completely again. Nor will he let anyone else take her down. But as he pushes himself halfway up, there's the wave of dizziness, the stabbing pain in his chest, and with a shout he falls back to the floor, gasping.]

Fuck...not now...

[Now his vision is fading, and as much as he wants to scream and shout and punch something, he no longer has the strength to do it.]

Ben...na...

[A hoarse whisper is the last he'll manage to make before he falls completely unconscious, unaware of the shouts and sounds of footsteps approaching, everything drowned by the echoes of that roaring wind and her agonized screams.]

Edited 2024-05-01 19:03 (UTC)

[This isn't quite how Alfyn expected his day to go.

He's out on a walk, foraging, as he's done the last few days. The invitation to join Joshua's crew officially wasn't much of a surprise, but he still gave it some serious thought before accepting, and he has the sense that...well. That he ought to make himself useful, at least until he's better acquainted with everyone and knows the lay of the land. A couple people have already asked about his medicines (and one about the shampoo). If he wants to be able to have any kind of stock-

Huh, he thinks, standing and stretching his back and frowning at the sky. Wind's picking up.

Very, very quickly, he learns the deep truth of this idle thought. Those winds turn into a full squall, much faster than he's used to or prepared for. Alfyn takes what cover he can, under a nearby overhang, and he flattens himself against the wall of it while the skies darken and the whirling gale rips entire trees from the earth.

This. This is unusual. He's no expert in weather or in what's normal and expected for an island like this, but...there's always warnings, about weather. There are signs, either in the sky or in the world around you, to signal a coming storm, especially one this dangerous. The sky shouldn't be so...green? It's like there's a haze over it all.

Then he thinks he hears someone screaming.

It takes everything in him to wait until the winds have died down to a safe level, one where he won't just be picked up off his feet. There's a main structure to the Roost's inhabited section and he books it that way, making an effort to dodge any wayward wind-blown debris but maybe a little too heedless of the hazards, of the lingering magic and the fading feathers.

And when he gets inside, someone lies prone on the floor.

Alfyn runs over and then realizes who it is. A quick look around shows him broken glass and shattered furniture but no visible pool of blood. But Cid's unconscious. The windowed ceiling above is fully broken, open to the air, and the dark clouds are still an ominous swirl over the island as Alfyn kneels, up near Cid's face and chest.

No one else is there for Alfyn's audible sigh of relief. He's got a pulse, he's breathing - nothing he can see looks cripplingly broken. In his mind he's ticking off a list of things that did not leave Cid out cold on the floor. The remaining possibilities aren't that reassuring.]

This ain't how I imagined another meeting would go.

[All of the worry stays locked firmly inside; though the room is empty except for Cid and himself, his tone is calm and friendly. With a quiet "beggin' your pardon" he carefully starts checking Cid's head and torso for any obvious damage.]

If I had to guess, I'd say the storm blew somethin' in and it knocked the wind right out of you. [Though this doesn't ring quite right to Alfyn, actually, he's just talking for the comfort and in case Cid comes to.] Damned if I know what it was, though. Would you believe it tore up some trees? Saw it myself.

[Cid won't rouse immediately, but at least other than a little harsh breathing from where his chest wound had been aggravated, he's stable. Small blessings for having a "sturdy" body, being an Dominant and all, but as Alfyn continues to tend to him, a groan will eventually come as he slowly comes to.]

[That Cid was already injured to begin with doesn't go unnoticed. But! No sense in asking him about it right this second.]

I can't really take you anywhere better than this. Not until I know what happened, anyway.

[Not to mention that Cid is a little taller and almost certainly heavier. Details not important at this time.

There's something else Alfyn notices. Just- something strange, he thinks it might be a scar at first. That'd make sense. Cid seems like the sort of fellow who...gets into a lot of scrapes and tough spots, and Alfyn's only known the man for a few days.

Before he can get a better look at anything else, though, Cid groans. Alfyn smiles - and perks right up, resting both of his hands on Cid's shoulders. It's his best guess that he'll just try to get up straight away, if he's lucid, and...that would be a bad idea.]

Hey there. [A friendly, reassuring greeting doesn't even require his patient's eyes to be open. It's fine.] Think you're back with me a little bit? I need you to stay put, at least for now, okay?

[The wind is still practically shrieking outside. Somehow it hasn't made its way back in to further destroy the room.]

I think you had a pretty nasty fall.

[It takes Cid a few moments, some words murmuring under his breath before he slowly blinks his eyes open...

...

And then starts, looking around quickly.]

Where—fuck!

[AND THAT SUDDEN MOVEMENT WAS A BAD IDEA because he immediately clutches his chest as he feels that pain pounding against it. His exterior wounds may have healed, but the internal ones were still taking their sweet time.

Give him a moment, Alfyn.]

[Nobody ever listens to that.

Alfyn has something to go on, now, though. Whatever happened must have aggravated his injury, and might've done worse on top of it. Pain making him faint makes a lot of sense.]

I've gotcha, all right?

[He sets both of his hands around Cid's, where the man is clutching his own chest like it's trying to get away from him. There is a dim white light pooling around his fingers - though it is very unlikely that Cid himself can see it.]

Magic isn't my specialty, but this'll help. Just- take some even breaths if you can. They don't have to be deep.

[A friend of his taught him some things to make his basics a little more effective. It is a simple healing spell, most often used for soothing pain and minor injuries. It certainly won't get Cid off the floor. But as the light brightens just a bit and the magic leaves Alfyn's fingertips, he hopes it makes enough of a difference to help him relax.]

...Alfyn?

[His mind is still swimming of what just transpired, but as much as he'd rather be flying out of that door right now, the sharp pain in his chest is making it clear that he wouldn't get far. Not to mention he now recognizes Alfyn in front of him, that bit of magic helping somewhat.

So after a few more breaths—]

...Benedikta—where is she? Did she leave already? Did she—

[He then belatedly realizes that Alfyn may not even know what he's talking about and just shakes his head.]

Did you see a giant harpy? Or a woman glowing green?

[That's encouraging!

Until it isn't. "Did you see a harpy" isn't at all what Alfyn expected to be asked. His eyes widen and he sits back a little, looking around the room. In case he somehow missed whatever it is Cid thinks he should expect to see.]

Ah...no? Can't say I've seen either of those things.

[It's sort of an apology, too. Not that he doesn't believe Cid, but...it's a little hard to believe. He strongly suspects the man was just kind of dreaming about it. A bit of confusion about what's real and what isn't would not be out of the ordinary here.]

Listen, you're hurt. I want to help you. Do you remember what happened?

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