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Welcome to the Test Drive Meme for

escordvi! Anyone can participate in the test drive, regardless of invite eligibility. Just keep in mind that only those who have secured invites from players or mods can actually reserve on October 25th and apply on November 1st. Our EMP/ATP can be found here. We do require TDM threads for samples for our application, but toplevels are not required. Tagging out is fine!

For your toplevel, please include the following: Character Name | Canon | Armada Choice | TDM (IF TDMING). Current players can use the same header, just without the "TDM" label. We do require those who are TDMin'g to include the label so other players can distinguish between others.

For everyone's convenience, TDM threads can be carried over in game if you wish! If you are still unsure which armada to place your character, you can play it a bit loose and vague in the TDM and make retroactive changes if you carry over the threads. The log itself is set to cover starting from October 13th until the end of the month. Characters will appear at random intervals during this time rather than all at once, so players have some more flexibility on how much more adjusted they are for someone else.

If you have any question about the TDM, comment here. If you have questions about the game in general, please comment to the Game Info.

TOPLEVEL DIRECTORY (Updated October 31)

GETTING STARTED

This section can be timed for any time after October 13 until the end of the month, which includes during the current event. These prompts are to benefit those TDMing, but this portion can be handwaved instead and be served as a reference for players to know what their character will have experienced and learned on arrival.

STARTER SHIPS

There are two ships that serve as starting ships for each armada: Stormbringer for the Corsairs, and Royal Fortune for the Paladins. There are various ways new arrivals—or riftfarers as they will be called, among other creative names—will appear on or by these ships.

🚪 Random room. It could be empty, filled with crates or supplies; down in the hull where the livestock are kept; have the luck to awaken in a bed...or the misfortune of that bed already occupied; somewhere in the kitchens; in the bathroom—any room! Now let's hope the doors can open or someone may have to try and ask for help. Or jump through the porthole if there is one and it's above water.
⛵ On deck. If not in the ship itself, another possible spot to wake up to is somewhere on the maindeck. If they're lucky, they're on the deck itself. More unfortunate souls may find themselves caught in the sails or netting, the crow's nest, or on the top of the masts. Someone should be able to help, right? Or catch.
🌊 In the water. The most unlucky sods will find themselves appearing in mid-air just past the ship and plummeting straight into the water. Good news, there's always someone on the look out for such a thing and calls for help to throw a lifesaver get the rowboat will be made. Are there sharks? Well... ...Are there?

However the new riftfarers arrive, they will be poorly clothed, practically rags or loose uniforms depending on the ship. Fortunately, veteran crewmates will guide them, escorting them to a room with a strange typewriter in it. After typing their name, the typewriter will magically continue and type by itself at a fast pace until it dings and rolls out the paper. This paper will have the following information:

• Name and Shellphone ID (journalname)
• Armada (Corsair or Paladin, will match the starter ship)
• Cabin Number for their personal cabin on the starter ship
• Apartment Address for their personal address at their base armada location
• A basic map of the starting locations in Eltrut, including written directions (continued in the Eltrut section)
• A basic map of where they can find a chest with their original clothes and belongings (this will be different for every person and will be anywhere either on the starter ship or on Eltrut—players can be creative here).

After that, the crewmate will do their best to explain the basics of how they got here, what's going on, and what they'll need to do to live in Escordvi while they are here, giving them a small leather pouch with money. They will be reaching Eltrut soon, so the crewmate will suggest they look around, meet the others who have arrived. Even from their distance, they will be able to see the giant sea turtle that serves as Eltrut's leviathan.

ON ELTRUT

Once in Eltrut, the new riftfarers will be greeted by several birdfolk who will be happy to give tours to those who may need them. Otherwise, anyone is free to roam as they please and will have a map for the following main places they should visit.

🐚 Microshell. The first stop that is encouraged will be Microshell, the main store to acquire their own personal Shellphone. The paper they received on their starter ship will have their ID and the staff at the store will set them up, explaining how the device and the network works.
✒️ Inkwave, Tattoo Parlor. The next stop is Inkwave, a tattoo parlor run by a very burly but friendly octopus, Knistej. Here everyone receives their own unique magic tattoo, allowing anyone to cast specific single element spells and other magic. Note: tattoos are required before anyone will be able to use their original magical abilities.
📜 MANTA office. The final stop is the MANTA office, where all the request, mission, and task notices are posted. Each armada has their own branch office for armada specific notices as well. A great place to find jobs to earn some cash so they don't stay a hobo forever.

ELTRUT: FESTIVAL

The Ghoul's Moon Festival is founded on an ancient tradition where in late October when the moon turns red, so red that it makes the ocean waters look as if it is filled with blood, undead and ghostly creatures go on a rampage and attack the living. Festivals were found to appease the angered spirits, and while such attacks haven't been seen in centuries, the festival remains. Thus throughout the month, Eltrut has been hard at work in getting the main port town, Shellton, and leviathan ready. On October 25th, when the sun sets, and the full blood red moon rises in the night sky, the giant leviathan will shake a little before revealing its festive form. Eltrut's entire shell will be a pumpkin which can later be "harvested" to help return it to normal, but that's for later. For now, the leviathan is in happy spirits and will crane its neck on occasion to watch everyone.

Although not required, costumes are available for anyone who may want to join in on the fun, along with silly prank weapons. Most of the festivities will be found starting from the docks up to the main plaza and down some side streets where various booths and stalls have been set up. From traditional booth games like candy ring toss, darts, water gun targets to more unique games such as bobbing for apple skulls, mask decoration, and catching the anglerfish.

👻 Ghost Piñatas. In a designated square, there is a game where cardboard ghosts are filled with candy and small toys, and with blindfolds and plastic mallets, the "ghost hunters" must run around and try to hit the ghost with the aid of people directing. Someone else is controlling the ghost with magic, moving it around to up the difficulty. It's meant for fun, but some people are messing around. Those not helping out or participating should stop them!
🛢️ Build-A-Barrel Boat. Out by the docks, a special "boat" competition is being held. Decorate a special barrel tubs large enough to fit two people into the spookiest "boat" possible. Afterwards, they must put it in the water and try to "race" against others to the finish line with oars. Don't worry, there are people waiting to help fish them out should their boat sink.
😜 Pranked. It's up to the Corsairs to try and throw their best pranks on unsuspecting festival goers. But there are of course those who are trying to prank them, so it's a bit chaotic out there, with unwitting victims getting caught in the crossfire.

Along with the usual street foods like paella, taiyaki, or khachapuri, there are plenty of special offerings for the holiday:

🥮 Moon Cakes. With a shiny red crust, these special cakes will make one's skin shine red like the Ghoul's Moon itself.
🍡 Fruit and Pumpkin Skewers. Skewers of fresh fruit and pumpkin glazed in hard red candy or dusted with chili powder will have that bit of spice that will give one a more energetic temper than usual.
🥐 Skull Buns. Sweet bread buns topped with skulls and crossbones that will sometimes make someone break into dance.
🦑 Hornswaggle's Vengeance. Hornswaggle has returned, upgrading their ghost pepper squid stir-fry with ghoul peppers, guaranteed to make you breathe actual flames!
🍬 Sour Candy. There are reports of candy making people sick and the Paladins are in charge of the investigation. Unfortunately, descriptions of the suspects are completely random with many innocent people becoming accused. In the meantime, replacing the candy is a high priority, and anyone can assist the Paladins trying to find and replace the ruined candy.

After the harrowing events with the Ghost Ship, on the night of October 31st, everyone will gather to witness the special fireworks display. The original crew even managed to adjust the performance to include a brief rendition of the battle against the undead, as well as something to honor Eltrut and Naughtilust for their brave efforts to help defend.

NAUGHTILUST: MASQUERADE

On the evening of the 30th, the Naughtilust will steadily make its way over towards Eltrut and stop within ferryboat distance of Shellton. The two leviathans will greet each other with friendly accord, the Naughtilust presenting its friend with a large floating shell filled with delicious treats for it to enjoy. All the shops, taverns, inns, brothels, and all entertainment services will be open all night long, and while the main target audience are adults, they do provide some "safe," family friendly entertainment for the younger crowd. Special dancers, musicians, and other entertainers line the streets on the Naughtilust to provide all kinds of delight.

However, the main highlight is the grand masquerade which is held at the Helice Palace, one of the largest and grandest buildings on the leviathan. As its name suggests, it is designed to fit the image of royalty, with large gardens, multiple ballrooms, grand halls, private and public terraces, and enough rooms to house any guest who may wish to spend the night (with a partner). Normally one would have to pay a hefty fee, but for the Ghoul's Moon, the sirens are opening it up for one grand fee of attending the masquerade and dressing one's best. They will even provide gowns, suits, and masks for those who need them. The masquerade itself is open to all, young and old, however what happens beyond the ballroom may require some adult supervision.

It's still the Naughtilust, after all.

Set in one of the largest ballrooms, guests are ushered in with the sound of a orchestra playing classical music, though some may notice more "modern" songs adapted to the classic style. For those who may want a little more privacy, there are several small terraces and balconies that can be used. Just be sure to lower the curtains and lock the doors if they want true privacy.

🕶 Blind Dancing. The sirens will randomly cast an enchantment on various people's masks to make them unable to see. They will then be forcibly paired with another "blinded" partner and only after the dance will the enchantment wear off. During this time, the pair will feel very friendly towards each other. Perhaps even attracted…?
💎 Gems. The sirens will also randomly stick special gems that will increase that particular personality trait of the wearer: white = coy; blue = wistful; green = jealousy; pink = flirty; red = lustful; purple = friendly; yellow = bold; orange = mischievous. The strength of the effect varies and multiple can be applied at once.
🥂 Refreshments. For those feeling peckish, long cream-filled doughnuts and oysters in the half shell line the buffet tables, along with indulgent foods like chocolate-covered bacon and deep-fried duck eggs drizzled with tamarind sauce—all of which will cause anyone who eats them to feel a bit more flirtatious. There is a variety of cocktails, but the champagne may also make one feel a bit more "bubbly."

Outside in the gardens, many can take a romantic stroll under the blood red moon. The gardens boast a number of different flora, small hedge mazes, gazebos, and fine statues for those to enjoy. There are also many shaded corners and little hideaways that couples can hide in should they wish to enjoy something else.

💐 Flower Arrangements. Out in one of the courtyards, there are several tables set up for anyone to make their own special bouquet of flowers. Unfortunately, some of the flowers have been changed to have special pollen that upon inhaling will induce unintended effects: sleepiness, amorous, giggly, boisterous, etc. The strength of the effect can vary and fortunately will only last for up to ten minutes. Multiple effects can take place at once and will "refresh" with every sniff.
🏮 Firefly Lanterns. The gardens are filled with special fireflies whose light can ward off malicious spirits and ghouls. Guests are welcome to try and catch a few to create their own paper lanterns and decorate them for the holiday. The fireflies are quick and hard to catch, but a little song (even humming) may lull them to be still.
🍷 Fountain Bump. Further out in the gardens at the Fontana Del Vino, red wine is pouring out and a few…bold guests have started a game where one must stand at the top of the statue and try to "bump" each other off using vigorous hip checks. Fortunately the height isn't too far and the fountain deep enough for those who fall through…just hope someone is sober enough to pull them out.

Even after the events of the Ghost Ship, the Naughtilust will remain so that the masquerade can be held again on the following night. The terraces will provide a great view of the fireworks.

GHOST SHIP

Late night on the 30th, when the clock strikes midnight to turn to October 31st, the blood red moon will seem to glow and a thick fog will suddenly roll in, a large, ghastly looking ship appearing in the distance. By this time, many may have started to turn if they are not still up partying. Regardless, everyone will get a rude awakening when screams fill the docks as all manner of undead climb up onto the piers and shores of Eltrut—ghosts, ghouls, zombies, skeletons. Realizing that these are the real thing and not drunk sailors in costumes, the call to arms is made, bells ringing and sirens blaring as those who are able rush in to defend.

Eltrut and Naughtilust won't remain still, the two leviathans using their abilities to fend off the undead. Eltrut causes the water to boil around it, temporarily halting further invasion. Naughtilust, meanwhile, will reach out with one of its tentacles and grab the ship, lifting it into the air before slamming it into the ocean. At first it looks as if the two leviathans could handle this on their own, but there's a bright flash of red light from the ship and the two groan in distress, flinching back and both retreating to their shells. Whatever it was, it was enough to inflict enough pain to force them to momentarily retreat.

With the leviathans out, cannons and trebuchets armed with large holy pumpkins are quickly maneuvered to launch long range attacks from both Eltrut and Naughtilust and everyone must fight the undead from the initial wave. Those who have divinity magic will bless everyone and their weapons to deal with the undead. Silver will also be effective, and that includes silverware. Finally, shoving candy in their mouths and playing music will be highly effective in at least stunning the undead, and may even placate the attacker. Perhaps there really is something to the old tales.

Ships with able bodied crew are sent out to approach the ship and find the source that is powering it to destroy it.

The large galleon was damaged and lodged in a reef from Naughtilust's attack, but despite the notable damage their ghostly cannons still fire and the ship shows no signs of sinking. There are several levels below deck, and undead sailors and monsters fill the ship. The strange red light will pulse periodically from the bottom, indicating they need to fight through to get to it.

🪓 Axing Skeletons. On the main deck, giant skeletons wielding large axes will be stationed to defend against those boarding the ship. With a wide sweep of their ax, they can cut through anything in their way—including their own. But their large size does hinder their movements, and a well aimed attack to their shins can knock them down.
🎃 Pumpkin Bombs. Watch out for these monsters! Appearing like large pumpkins, these monsters will grow in size the longer they are agitated until their eyes burst into flames, the only warning before they explode in hot pumpkin chunks to cause significant damage. Destroy them before they burst.
🎯 Traps. Besides the questionable integrity of the ship itself, there are many traps that can be triggered by one wrong step or misplaced hand. Trap doors, revolving walls, giant cobwebs with ghoulish spiders, living chains attempting to bind victims, locked rooms with shrinking walls.

Hidden deep within the hull of the ship is the relic that unleashed the devastating attack and empowered the undead. It's a very large black tombstone with unreadable script and symbols carved into it and what looks like fresh blood poured into each groove. So large it reaches the ceiling. Perhaps the more academic inclined will want to take some pictures before smashing it, and it will take a number of people to physically destroy it. But it won't be easy as undead sailors will rush in to defend it.

When dawn breaks, the ghost ship will have been destroyed and fade away into the sun. Any remaining undead will also burn away and disappear. Although things are a bit of a mess and many injuries sustained, with the victory bolstering spirits, most things are repaired and salvaged for the final night of the Ghoul's Moon festival. The festival will go on, as will the fireworks.

QUESTS

The current MANTA Board is available, but we have a couple of additional quests that are specific for the event! Teaming up is of course encouraged, no matter what the affiliation. You can assume they acquired some kind of ship for the quests out at sea, either the starter ship or some other ship heading out there. All quests will be worth 4 points.

Corpse-a-Corps

Eltrut Island

A man is trying to create a walking living man out of dead body parts. He is convinced that he can bring the creature to life using a powerful lightning bolt of some kind. Because of this he has been stealing body parts from local graves.

Find this man and stop him before he can create his abomination. And burn down his controversial laboratory before anyone else can get a hold of these wild ideas. Help put the families and loved ones at ease by returning their lost ones and their parts to their graves, proper.

Hungry-la Island

???

A very curious type of tree has recently been discovered on a small walkable island. It seems to be trees that have the ability to magically grow fried chicken legs that hang like pears or apples. And some look like they’re decorated with fully cooked honey-glazed hams. The bark looks curiously like crispy bacon and the leaves like perfectly tenderized pork tenderloins. That’s right, it’s growing meat. Somehow. And boy, does it look delicious.

Since this is a new discovery no one knows if any of these trees are actually delicious or not. Care to try a bite or two? After a long voyage at sea with only lemons and oranges it might be a treat to have some savory things to eat instead.

Guileful Grimalkin

All Islands

Strange black creatures have appeared and are sneaking around various ports to steal people’s wallets and valuables. When they’re confronted or caught they seem to emit high pitched screeches and will scratch and bite and do whatever they can to escape!

Keep your wallet and shiny things secure and catch any of these little demons before they cause too much ruckus!

Conch Shells Stories

All Islands

Pretty conch shells have been washing up on various shores all over the islands. When they are held up to your ear they seem to whisper stories from someone far, far away.

These stories can be from people from your own home worlds, or they can be stories from long-lost friends, loved ones or even the deceased. These magical conch shells will repeat the same story if listened to again. Sometimes it's nice to carry old memories…

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It does make friendship hard, knowing that someone he has come to care about could vanish without warning much like he did. To think of Astarion vanishing, it makes his heart twist. The same twist of pain that he felt when Hawke forced him to leave Kirkwall alone, rejecting traveling together.

He pauses though. Wondering what the man means by long-lived til he remembers that Astarion is basically immortal. Was Xenk also long lived? Did he think Fenris was?]

You speak of long-lived like it applies to us. Are you like Astarion in such ways?

[Oh! Mage wars were happening, but he wasn't in the fray, more concerned with Slavers who were taking advantage of the wars than the wars themselves.

His lips curl in amusement at the idea of birds learning to swear. It sounds like something Isabela would do.]

I see.. and yes, I cannot disagree, it is much more peaceful than Thedas by all accounts.

[ Xenk nods. They are of course more alike than Xenk is at liberty to say, being undead, but a nod confers agreement without specifying the manner in which they are similar. Checkmate, Tyr. ]

Indeed. Elves in our world are known to live up to a thousand years. As for myself, I was cursed with partial undeath as a child. This curse causes me to age slowly, and am for nearly all purposes, immortal.

[ He brings a hand up to his forehead, of the mark that starts just at his hairline. ]

This mark upon my forehead is the proof of my curse. Those from Faerun would recognize it as the mark of Thay, my homeland, and the lich Szass Tam who rules there.

[ Just a casual loredrop from Xenk, who explains all of this with his usual calm, expository voice. ]

Astarion spoke of elves still being so long lived in your Faerun.

[Fenris, being aware of Astarion's condition, thinks that Xenk must not know considering that he speaks of him as just an elf. Respecting the elf's secrecy and autonomy, he chooses not to speak of the man being undead, despite that being something the two clearly have in common the more Xenk talks.

Still, to find out his friend is also cursed with undeath, yet like Astarion, is nothing like the undead creatures he is familiar with is strange. Are undead normally so able to keep their faculties and autonomy in Faerun? Well, he knows that Astarion is not allowed such devices, but Xenk does not seem to be under the thumb of a master other than the god he is dedicated to.

Curious. ]

Is it common for undead to be like yourself? Or are you a special case? In Thedas they are but mindless bodies of the dead, oft under control of a necromancer.

That is still the case. Is it not, in your world?

[ Xenk nods. Being undead would be something the two of them share in common, but as Xenk does not know who Astarion feeds from, he would never assume even his friends to be privy to it. As he has sworn to keep Astarion's secret himself, he'll never bring it up again, if he can help it. Keeping secrets is hardly the paladin way, but holding himself to an oath is honorable indeed.

Better to focus on his own curse, which Xenk is more than happy to share outright. ]

Not at all. The particular instance of my curse is extremely uncommon, as I am functionally alive, for the most part. Others in my situation would find themselves as you describe, mindlessly enthralled to the master of the spell. I escaped only through good fortune, or perhaps an intercession of fate itself. The rest of my people were not so lucky.

[ This he says solemnly, though he tries not to dwell. ]

Only this mark remains as proof of my affliction. There are other effects, such as my dark vision, or my quickened healing and strong constitution, but for the most part I am not so aggrieved as I could be.

The elves of Thedas long lost their immortality. I will live the same number of years as any human would.

[He would not want it any other way, yet the idea of being so outlived by his companions here is very.. troubling to his heart. Even if they are to never be parted again, eventually his heart and body will grow old and cold and he will walk into death, leaving them alone once more. He wonders how the Elves of Faerun or Xenk handle such things so well. Or is this too something that plagues their hearts?

Still to hear of this curse of Xenk's, it seems to be more beneficial than detrimental.]

I see, so your case is a special one, unique to you. It seems more of a boon than a bane, though it must not be easy to watch those around you age and yourself not do the same. Does it not become difficult to form relationships?

Ah... I am sorry to hear that, my friend. [ Xenk smiles sadly. ] Though of course, a sadder fact for my own sake, rather than yours. A life is a valuable thing, and I am sure you will live yours to the fullest.

[ His understanding does indeed come from the other perspective. He's lost many friends this way... simply by outliving them. But he's old enough that he knows the joy in life is worth more than its sorrows. ]

At times, it can be. I have indeed lost many comrades, and seen generations grow old, towns change from season to season in my travels. It is a lonely existence, one that sees me part with many.

[ He looks down at his hands, clearly pensive. But he makes a fist just as easily, driven by his heart and his ideals and his Oath. ]

This is the full weight of my curse, truly. But though the temptation to simply carry on alone is great, I have seen first-hand here how important it is that one maintain those relationships with the people one works close to. It is our bonds with one another, and the bonds I have shared in this long life, that make this existence and my purpose, to aid all those I can, worth pursuing.

[It was not himself being left behind but another that he would be leaving behind in his death, but why did that wrench his heart so to think of? Especially with the way the man before him speaks of it. He almost wants to apologize for his shorter lifespan, but knows that is as ridiculous as apologizing for breathing. So, he remains silent, giving Xenk a sympathetic look and a nod.

The more the man speaks the more at first Fenris feels right in his loneliness after his companions sent him away in Thedas, yet... the more he speaks the more he says of how it's important to maintain and have those relationships regardless.

How can that be so when being left and sent away hurts so much?]

And how do you deal with the pain? The hurt of being left behind? I found it unbearable to be sent away after.. [He doesn't know how to deal with loss, with what felt like being discarded by those he cares about because he was of no more use to them.]

[ Xenk smiles, rueful but hopeful too. ]

I hold on to the memories. Mementos, trinkets, even gifts I have received... I hold them dear to me. I give myself time to grieve, and recognize all the many ways they may have changed me.

[ Self-reflection, in other words. Though Xenk talks a big game, it's easier said than done. ]

Above all else, I comfort myself in knowing that they are at peace and on to another plane of existence, starting a new life. This is the way of things in Faerun, when an honorable person passes.

[He listens yet it doesn't help him, he still finds himself angry at Hawke for leaving him behind. Fenris would have gone to the ends of the earth with the man, no danger was great enough.. yet he was left behind. He was discarded after his use was done.]

And what if they are still alive but have left you? What then? How do you cope with the loss of someone who still lives?

[There is more passion to his voice this time, something about this is personal. Something about this was a question he needed answered for himself.]

[ Ah. Xenk knows the feeling well -- if only because he is normally the one leaving. ]

In such a case, you must hope that fate may bring you together once more.

[ Seeing Fenris' emotion touches him deeply. He won't look away, not when it's an ire that is well-deserved. ]

Would that I could be more helpful, but I... am admittedly guilty of leaving those around me, when I fear my own presence may bring more danger upon them than I would wish. I can see how such presumption would be painful, for those left behind.

That is the sentiment that Hawke claimed, that he would bring more danger on me if I were to accompany him, but-- [He clenches his fist. If he had his lyrium to call upon he would be glowing, but he doesn't. His scars dull and lifeless against his skin.

But the fact that Xenk admitted that he does as much as what Hawke did to him, it raises his hackles some, it upsets him. Will Xenk also leave when he's done with Fenris?]

And what of you? Why do you leave those you see no use of any longer? Is it not an excuse to wish to leave them for their "safety"? Would not it be safer to travel together, despite the dangers? To fight along side each other?

[Will you leave too? He's upset, angry. Not entirely at Xenk, mostly at Hawke, but now he fears that Xenk will just be another to use him and go. His veneer of calm is cracked.]

What if I rather die at his side than be alone?

[ Xenk listens calmly to Fenris, allowing the man his anger. Allowing the man to speak from his heart. It's clear his feelings draw from some other source, but that makes them no less real. Finding himself the target of Fenris' anger, Xenk can only accept it as he hopes anyone one. ]

I can speak only for myself, and thus I must apologize if my words do not provide the needed comfort.

[ He prefaces this because his answer isn't a normal one. It's to do with his curse. ]

I have seen dozens die at my side. Good people, all. They believed as I believed, in the greater good and aiding others. [ He says this solemnly, respectful for every loss. ] But as I am immortal, complications in missions do not affect me as they do others. When a source is wrong, when retreat is the only option... I will always survive. I will always heal. Others do not.

[ It's easier for Xenk to know when things are dangerous, simply because he's seen so much danger. He would stop there for anyone else, but Fenris deserves more than that. ]

I admit it is selfish. Those who died by my side died without regrets. But it was I who delivered the news to their families. And so perhaps to save them from tragedy, or indeed to save myself from sorrow, I slowly withdrew from questing with others. The more my legend grew, the more dangerous it became to fight alongside me.

[ But his answer doesn't answer Fenris' last question. This one, he feels, may be the most important of all. ]

I fear this is the burden of love, when one cares for another. I cannot speak on this person's behalf, but I can say that... If he would rather your safety, than risk your death, it is because he cares for you. Somewhat selfishly, perhaps, as he has not asked for your opinion. But all the same.

[Fenris has to bite his tongue from interrupting, because he can see that Xenk has a lot to say. From talking to the man a number of times, he's learned the tells that show the man is about to speak for a long time, has a lot to say. So, he allows it. Allows it and listens, even when his upset wants to cut in and say something. But soon that upset is tempered, it comes to a settled calm once more, even if he's still frowning, still on edge.

The other admits it's selfish and that settles his heart a little, but it's the mention of love that makes him flinch back like he's been struck.

As he so obvious? Hawke did not love him, the man's heart was another's. He merely discarded Fenris when he was done with him, had no more use for him. It was not care--

He sighs.]

My apologies, my upset at you was not entirely warranted. Your circumstances are.. justifiable in a way, though I do not enjoy the idea that you will selfishly leave one day when given the chance.

[There's a pause before he adds:] I would like to fight by your side, despite the circumstances, I consider you a friend.

My last friends all went their separate ways when they saw fit that my use was no longer needed.. Despite my [~~love~~] loyalty for Hawke, he did not wish to travel with me any longer, no matter how much we argued it. It is a loss I've never known til that day.

[ Xenk smiles, always patient and understanding. This really does have the feel of Astarion's anger at losing Fenris -- sometimes his friends just need to get their feelings out. That's alright. ]

You have no need to apologize. You are hurting, and my words recalled your pain. It is a blameless situation.

[ He really believes that, too. But then, Xenk has the patience of saint. ]

You are more than welcome to, Fenris. Likewise, I too, consider you a friend. And unlike in Faerun, I am not hunted by Red Wizards or the Zhentarim. There is no danger here that we could not survive, fighting side-by-side.

[ He believes that too! Not that he thinks Fenris is weak, but rather that the danger here isn't big enough to warrant any real concern. Maybe he'll regret that someday down the line, but he'd rather live with that regret than push his friend away. ]

As for the matter of your former friends... I cannot begin to imagine the pain you felt, nor the betrayal. To put your trust in someone, and swear your loyalty to them, only to be cast aside is deeply painful. I am not surprised that this wound still ails you. Alas, I could not begin to speculate why your friends would choose this path. Your care and safety is part of it, surely, but short of asking this Hawke himself, this may be a question to which the answer will remain unknown to you.

Edited (typo) 2023-10-22 04:15 (UTC)

[Fenris would have rathered the man get upset at being blamed for something that was outside of himself, but it was easier than someone waving off a wrong because they are patient and benevolent. It was a kindness he wasn't used to outside of Hawke, and even then the man was human enough to sometimes snap back. Kindness was still something foreign to him in many ways, he never expects it, yet when he gets it he sometimes does not know how to accept it.

Instead he nods his acceptance, brows slightly pinched.

The reassurance that while they are here Xenk sees no reason to go his separate way is.. reassuring. One day they could all be sent back to their home worlds, he was proof that it was possible, so one day they may have to say goodbye, but until that time arrives, this is something to lean on, the safety that his friend will fight alongside him here.

He sighs.]

I believe I exhausted Hawke's reasoning, I know all he would have to say on the matter of why he sent us all on our separate ways, but I continue to feel.. [his brow furrows in thought] angry to be left behind, sent on my own path instead of accompanying him on his.

[Another sigh and a shake of his head.] It will remain unanswered as no one other than myself is here. Perhaps for the better. [Or worse, but you know...]

Thank you for your input, I believe the perspective will allow me to better try and understand Hawke's choice.. even if I still do not agree with it.

[ Indeed, welcome to Xenk Yendar, the most patient paladin to ever grace the world. There's a reason Astarion can't resist his so-called charms. (The charms are simply being patient and honest, a crime, really.) ]

And this is your right. Your care for your friend is evident, and for him to act without taking your feelings into account, or indeed ignoring them outright, is no doubt painful. At times those around us may make choices we do not agree with, and it us up to only yourself as to whether you accept this choice, or rebuke them for it.

[ Xenk nods, happy to have talked this out with Fenris, and happy to have offered an ear to share his troubles with. ]

I can only provide support for what I know. And what I know is that you are kind, and deserving of more than being left behind. Surely your Hawke knows this as well.

[If he had to guess, he would say Hawke is ignoring them, too convinced of his own course of action being the correct one, the right one, the only one, that he is unwilling to consider anyone else. The others agreed for the most part, but Fenris fought it until there was nothing left to fight. It had been like talking to a wall.]

We fought long into the night about it, his choice. But he would not budge and eventually I, like the rest, went my separate way as he wished. Perhaps I could have fought it more, but I.. did not wish to take his choice away. I would not wish that.

[It was an abhorrent idea to him, to take away someone's choice, especially someone he cares about.]

Thank you Xenk, you are truly more kind than one deserves.

[ Xenk nods, understanding well the important of choice -- of free will and all it entails. One must respect others' choices, even when one does not agree. ]

Disagreements between friends are never easy. But ultimately, it is as you say. It was his choice, and you could no sooner change his mind than impose your will upon him.

[ It's good to know that Fenris values freedom so. It also makes sense, given that Xenk knows that he and Astarion are such close friends. But Xenk shakes his head, nearly balking at the praise. ]

Not at all. The kindness I offer is what any friend should, what all of my friends are deserving of. You need not offer me such high praise.

You are deserving of higher praise than I have given, you are a good man. Like any, you have your faults, but they are far and few between the virtues you hold and practice.

[He reaches forward and pats the man's shoulder, his touch lingering despite any discomfort he might feel for it.]

You give yourself too little credit. [With another pat, he draws back his hand.]

[ Wow, okay, Fenris, you're straight up making him blush. Xenk's cheeks darken, a visible flush gracing his features as Fenris speaks. ]

You... you flatter me.

[ Like, he's honestly shocked. Especially since the pat on his shoulder makes it so he can't look away, it would be rude! ]

I -- It is extremely rare to find me at a loss for words, but I find I can do little more than thank you for your estimations, Fenris. You are truly too kind.

Edited (I can't figure out the right phrasing here so fuck it) 2023-10-23 04:23 (UTC)

[There's something about the man's blush that is endearing, that makes him want to reach up and touch those flushed cheeks, feel the warmth in them, but he keeps his hands to himself.]

I merely speak the truth. [He nods with a small curl of his lips, something pleased and self satisfied with the situation, with this accomplishment.]

One you should hear more oft than you obviously do.

It... it is not simply the praise, you know.

[ Xenk does not look away -- it isn't his way, to hide emotions, or shy from them. So he is simply left blushing, and doing his best to explain himself. ]

I have received praise in droves, over my long life. But coming from you... I know you to be a kind, just man, Fenris. Such praise from your lips is of great value indeed.

[ It's that it's Fenris, you see. Someone so good!!! It's really very moving. ]

[Fenris blinks and is the one now to flush some, his cheeks warming under the returned praise. Kind and just are not words he would hear about himself, perhaps it was different here because his distaste for mages was not so deeply at the forefront with how he understood magic to be different in different worlds, where everything wasn't on the brink of war and lives were constantly on the line...

But he finds his stomach does a little flip.]

I see. You're words are very flattering in return. I've rarely received such high praise, knowing how honest and unflinching you are, I know.. you would not speak them idly.

[A pause, his expression softer than normal.]

Thank you.

[ Now they're both blushing because honest praise from kind people is apparently both of their weaknesses. Truly, Xenk brushes off most praise that comes his way, but there is a kindness and heart to Fenris that makes those words special. Just as, it seems, his own words carry their weight for his own honesty.

Xenk meets that expression with a smile of his own. ]

Of course. As you yourself said, I speak only the truth.

[ They are just two warrior guys with big hearts... and beautiful faces... wow. ]

Edited 2023-10-25 03:31 (UTC)

[Wow indeed, how unfair of them to exist! Stop with your faces.

Fenris rubs the back of his neck now, unsure what to say. While he believes that Xenk means what he says, he does not think of himself as kind. Just, yes, his cause is, but kind... He thinks of how he killed the slavers he ran into on his journey when he was home and well...

Yeah, no.]

And now I am at a loss for where to go next in our conversation. I am going to refamiliarize myself with the area, would you care to accompany me?

(no subject)

partybabysitter - 2023-10-26 05:36 (UTC) - Expand

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