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[He had heard similar words before, and there's a quiet hum as her kiss lingers on his lips. Really, to have her so worried and trying so hard to comfort him...]
You just think too highly of me.
[Half teasing, half sincere as he lets her lead him back to the bed before flopping down onto it. While he would acknowledge he has his accomplishments and can do great things, it never goes beyond that. But he's also well aware how high people tend to place him on that metaphorical pedestal, a place that always seemed too high. Fortunately, he doesn't really try to live up to those lofty expectations...at least not too much. Never hurts to have some high goals if they are possible.]
You just think too highly of me.
[Half teasing, half sincere as he lets her lead him back to the bed before flopping down onto it. While he would acknowledge he has his accomplishments and can do great things, it never goes beyond that. But he's also well aware how high people tend to place him on that metaphorical pedestal, a place that always seemed too high. Fortunately, he doesn't really try to live up to those lofty expectations...at least not too much. Never hurts to have some high goals if they are possible.]
Perhaps.
[She does not climb on top of him like he may be expecting but instead, she lies down next to him, curling up against his side. Though her head does not come to rest on his chest where it usually does. Instead, she gazes down at him, nothing but fondness brimming in her eyes, touched with a bit of sadness.]
Or perhaps I am merely in love.
[They could go hand in hand.
Her fingers trace a line down from his collarbone, her eyes trailing after.]
Even still... you may have many now, but I like them. Your scars...
[And she does not just mean the physical ones.]
[She does not climb on top of him like he may be expecting but instead, she lies down next to him, curling up against his side. Though her head does not come to rest on his chest where it usually does. Instead, she gazes down at him, nothing but fondness brimming in her eyes, touched with a bit of sadness.]
Or perhaps I am merely in love.
[They could go hand in hand.
Her fingers trace a line down from his collarbone, her eyes trailing after.]
Even still... you may have many now, but I like them. Your scars...
[And she does not just mean the physical ones.]
[She took it because she remembers what Cid had told her not so long ago in the cabin of that ship. After they had both donned Commander costumes and played the part. That guilt surrounding the demise of his people had followed her all the way to today, and perhaps this is the selfish part of this wish—trying to make it easier to shoulder that guilt now.
Her lips tug at Anni's name beneath Owen's.]
Do you think? [She motions to the paper.] I very much looked up to her. I wished to be like Anni when was just a girl.
Her lips tug at Anni's name beneath Owen's.]
Do you think? [She motions to the paper.] I very much looked up to her. I wished to be like Anni when was just a girl.
[He did wonder what she had in mind given the usual flow of things, but he doesn't mind this. If anything he prefers the calmer moment right now, still tired both physically and emotionally. But he can't help but smile, warmth flowing through at her words of love.]
Do you now?
Do you now?
[He knows which scars she speaks of there as she's well acquainted with the ones she can already see. So he just watches her for a moment, her lips both warm with their comfort yet also stirring various things, both provocative and contemplative.]
Figured that out, eh?
Figured that out, eh?
Anni was always the more mature one of the group after Owen, though sometimes she was even better than him.
[A wry grin as those fond memories slowly come through.]
Always used to having to look after and mend everyone, it's no surprise, really. She and Karina really treated you like a little sister of sorts.
[A wry grin as those fond memories slowly come through.]
Always used to having to look after and mend everyone, it's no surprise, really. She and Karina really treated you like a little sister of sorts.
[She would have been honoured to be their sister.]
I never grew up with girls, so I think that is partly why I took them so quickly. Maybe a part of me had always wanted to be around them.
[She thinks back, trying to remember if she'd had any other female influence in her life, but... those are the only two that come to mind in a world filled with and ruled by men.]
I do find myself missing them... from time to time.
[Her shoulder bumps against his, a soft and silent seeking of comfort.]
I never grew up with girls, so I think that is partly why I took them so quickly. Maybe a part of me had always wanted to be around them.
[She thinks back, trying to remember if she'd had any other female influence in her life, but... those are the only two that come to mind in a world filled with and ruled by men.]
I do find myself missing them... from time to time.
[Her shoulder bumps against his, a soft and silent seeking of comfort.]
[A rough laugh as he closes his eyes, mentally following her movements.]
You have your own worries...and mine aren't worth your trouble.
[He says, but he says it with resignation, knowing she'll protest. So it's not really any real protest or argument, just...an excuse he gives.]
You have your own worries...and mine aren't worth your trouble.
[He says, but he says it with resignation, knowing she'll protest. So it's not really any real protest or argument, just...an excuse he gives.]
[Feeling her shoulder bumping against his, he quietly smiles as he brings his arm around her shoulders, hugging her to him.]
Aye, me, too. But at least we can keep them in our memories.
[And...admittedly, it's been a very long time since he's ever spoken about them. After all, who could he talk to? Otto, perhaps. Mid was still too young to really remember them well. So he really this may be the first time since the night he revealed that grief to her.
With that in mind, he gives her shoulder a squeeze.]
C'mon, let's talk about the others before their spirits somehow make their way here in a fit of jealousy.
Aye, me, too. But at least we can keep them in our memories.
[And...admittedly, it's been a very long time since he's ever spoken about them. After all, who could he talk to? Otto, perhaps. Mid was still too young to really remember them well. So he really this may be the first time since the night he revealed that grief to her.
With that in mind, he gives her shoulder a squeeze.]
C'mon, let's talk about the others before their spirits somehow make their way here in a fit of jealousy.
And I say your worries are my own.
[He was right to think so, and it is only an excuse, but she does nip at the skin just beneath his collarbone in warning.]
They are as much a part of you as anything else... and I rarely have the chance to see or appreciate them.
[She reaches the large one at his stomach, where Ultima had pierced him in the Mothercrystal's chamber. Where she had to watch him... It sits next to the one that Garuda had given him. Here, she hesitates.]
[He was right to think so, and it is only an excuse, but she does nip at the skin just beneath his collarbone in warning.]
They are as much a part of you as anything else... and I rarely have the chance to see or appreciate them.
[She reaches the large one at his stomach, where Ultima had pierced him in the Mothercrystal's chamber. Where she had to watch him... It sits next to the one that Garuda had given him. Here, she hesitates.]
[That draws a much-needed laugh out of her, pulling Benedikta out of her thoughts and the old memories. She wondered if they would be lost and weathered by time, but she recalls the day that she met them just as clearly now, as if it were yesterday. Could it be this place helping her remember easier? Or had she cherished them more than she thought...?
Either way, the two of them continue to write, with Rolf and Tore at the end, both with equally fond memories. She'd learned a lot from them, too, especially in the later years. Were it not for them, she might not be as good a scout or a spy as she had been.
Together, they tie the paper to the tree, and Benedikta closes her eyes to the breeze that rustles the leaves and branches. Maybe, somewhere in the universe, they had heard their well wishes.
And just when it looks like they may be finished...]
There is... one more, Cidolfus.
[... She has one piece of paper left, and she holds it with a weight in her shoulders, her voice tense.]
Either way, the two of them continue to write, with Rolf and Tore at the end, both with equally fond memories. She'd learned a lot from them, too, especially in the later years. Were it not for them, she might not be as good a scout or a spy as she had been.
Together, they tie the paper to the tree, and Benedikta closes her eyes to the breeze that rustles the leaves and branches. Maybe, somewhere in the universe, they had heard their well wishes.
And just when it looks like they may be finished...]
There is... one more, Cidolfus.
[... She has one piece of paper left, and she holds it with a weight in her shoulders, her voice tense.]
Edited 2024-11-22 05:20 (UTC)
[He feels that warning with a slight flinch, but not really one out of pain. More of a reflective action out of guilt.
As he feels her hand and knowing where it is, his own will move to rest over hers, guiding her closer to it.]
And what will you do once you have?
As he feels her hand and knowing where it is, his own will move to rest over hers, guiding her closer to it.]
And what will you do once you have?
[It's actually freeing being able to talk about them like this, and he also wonders if this realm is making it easier. That want to let go of more burdensome thoughts and instead revel in the better memories. To become more at peace of this part of his past. It coming on the heels of Ultima somewhat helps as well. Perhaps this may help relieve him of that guilt, to better help him move forward again. And even if their spirits are not here he can already imagine, practically feel them pushing him. The fallen of the Hideaway, too, their names together so that there are slips of paper tied in a row.]
One more?
[A slight arch of the brow, wondering what else or who else she could wish for.]
One more?
[A slight arch of the brow, wondering what else or who else she could wish for.]
[Her fingers nearly retract away when he does, her whole hand tensing under his guidance. It's not as if this is the first time that she's seen it, and she has faced it once before when it had barely healed over, but today had been such a painful reminder of that day that, for a moment, she sees it as she had on the beach after they had landed. And then the weeks later when she'd helped clean and wrap it again.
Her eyes move up to meet his briefly before they look over those two scars, and finally, her fingers move over them.]
Why? Are you afraid that I will run?
Her eyes move up to meet his briefly before they look over those two scars, and finally, her fingers move over them.]
Why? Are you afraid that I will run?
[There's a long pause as she stares down at the blank piece of paper that she holds between them, the corners crinkling again under that nervous fidgeting that she's doing, rolling the edges between her fingers.]
I... it's silly...
[And now she suddenly feels self-conscious about it. Embarrassed. Unsure. She keeps her eyes cast down, unable to look at him to see the look on his face as she admits.]
I... want to write a wish for... us...
I... it's silly...
[And now she suddenly feels self-conscious about it. Embarrassed. Unsure. She keeps her eyes cast down, unable to look at him to see the look on his face as she admits.]
I... want to write a wish for... us...
[She flashes him a small, rueful smile.]
Have you so little faith in me?
[It's more a tease than an actual question or worry, as she leans in to kiss him, her lips tracing along the edges of the one from Ultima, carefully and consciously avoiding Garuda's for now. That wound is still too fresh in her mind, the memories brought back only just today of what transpired.
Her eyes soften as she looks up at him from where she lays her head, her breath ghosting over his skin.]
... You know that I won't, yes? That you could bear a thousand of them, and I would love each and every one.
[That he could carry those weights, those burdens, the guilt and the regrets for years to come, and she would be there to bear them with him. But maybe a small part of her needs to know that he remembers that.]
Have you so little faith in me?
[It's more a tease than an actual question or worry, as she leans in to kiss him, her lips tracing along the edges of the one from Ultima, carefully and consciously avoiding Garuda's for now. That wound is still too fresh in her mind, the memories brought back only just today of what transpired.
Her eyes soften as she looks up at him from where she lays her head, her breath ghosting over his skin.]
... You know that I won't, yes? That you could bear a thousand of them, and I would love each and every one.
[That he could carry those weights, those burdens, the guilt and the regrets for years to come, and she would be there to bear them with him. But maybe a small part of her needs to know that he remembers that.]
[Were this any other time this would be far more provocative.... And although the feel of her lips on those scars do send a tingle of warmth through him, it's softer rather than heated. He can only tilt his head so that he can look down at her, every gesture and word so sweet that now he knows how she feels when he smothers her with his love and kindness. How crushing it feels...but it's not a bad weight, either. If anything he finds himself wishing to bury himself further in the warmth she wishes to provide.]
...I know.
[Perhaps not so long ago he may have still wondered, but not now. Not anymore. Yet somehow that also makes it more difficult. At least before he had an excuse, now... Now he has nothing to fall behind.
So he lets out a small huff of amusement.]
And now I think I know how you feel whenever I overwhelm you.
...I know.
[Perhaps not so long ago he may have still wondered, but not now. Not anymore. Yet somehow that also makes it more difficult. At least before he had an excuse, now... Now he has nothing to fall behind.
So he lets out a small huff of amusement.]
And now I think I know how you feel whenever I overwhelm you.
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