garudas: (πŸ—‘οΈ 240)
benedikta harman. ([personal profile] garudas) wrote in [community profile] escordvi2024-11-02 08:33 pm

closed πŸͺΆβš‘ i'll be the light to lead you home

Who: Cidolfus Telamon & Benedikta Harman.
Status: Closed.
Where: The Roost, The Farplane.
What: Cid and Benedikta move to a new house in the Roost. Event stuff later.
Warnings: The usual. :)


ramuhs: (⚑ 292)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
[He had heard similar words before, and there's a quiet hum as her kiss lingers on his lips. Really, to have her so worried and trying so hard to comfort him...]

You just think too highly of me.

[Half teasing, half sincere as he lets her lead him back to the bed before flopping down onto it. While he would acknowledge he has his accomplishments and can do great things, it never goes beyond that. But he's also well aware how high people tend to place him on that metaphorical pedestal, a place that always seemed too high. Fortunately, he doesn't really try to live up to those lofty expectations...at least not too much. Never hurts to have some high goals if they are possible.]

ramuhs: (⚑ 254)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
[He did wonder what she had in mind given the usual flow of things, but he doesn't mind this. If anything he prefers the calmer moment right now, still tired both physically and emotionally. But he can't help but smile, warmth flowing through at her words of love.]

Do you now?
ramuhs: (⚑ 252)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
[He knows which scars she speaks of there as she's well acquainted with the ones she can already see. So he just watches her for a moment, her lips both warm with their comfort yet also stirring various things, both provocative and contemplative.]

Figured that out, eh?
ramuhs: (⚑ 162)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
[A rough laugh as he closes his eyes, mentally following her movements.]

You have your own worries...and mine aren't worth your trouble.

[He says, but he says it with resignation, knowing she'll protest. So it's not really any real protest or argument, just...an excuse he gives.]
ramuhs: (⚑ 254)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
[He feels that warning with a slight flinch, but not really one out of pain. More of a reflective action out of guilt.

As he feels her hand and knowing where it is, his own will move to rest over hers, guiding her closer to it.]


And what will you do once you have?
ramuhs: (⚑ 252)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
...Perhaps.

[He had felt how her hand tensed, and he knows how difficult this is for the both of them.]

That it might be too much for you to handle.

[Or she might think lesser of him...though at least that doubt is not as prominent these days.]
ramuhs: (⚑ 253)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
[Were this any other time this would be far more provocative.... And although the feel of her lips on those scars do send a tingle of warmth through him, it's softer rather than heated. He can only tilt his head so that he can look down at her, every gesture and word so sweet that now he knows how she feels when he smothers her with his love and kindness. How crushing it feels...but it's not a bad weight, either. If anything he finds himself wishing to bury himself further in the warmth she wishes to provide.]

...I know.

[Perhaps not so long ago he may have still wondered, but not now. Not anymore. Yet somehow that also makes it more difficult. At least before he had an excuse, now... Now he has nothing to fall behind.

So he lets out a small huff of amusement.]


And now I think I know how you feel whenever I overwhelm you.
ramuhs: (⚑ 313)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
[His once relaxing body stiffens at that, and it takes a moment before he releases a breath.]

Then what do they mean?

[He's not really seeking an answer...he thinks he knows. But he wants to hear what she thinks since he does sometimes see them as reminders of what he couldn't do or stopping short of his goals.]
ramuhs: (⚑ 157)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 07:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Her words do resonate with him, even if it make take some time for him to fully commit to it. At the very least, he can believe in it a bit more, especially since he's certain he's told others or heard similar elsewhere.

Reminders that he tried, fought, and still alive.

True it may not mean much back in their world, but here...

A reminder of that second chance.

When he looks at her, that kind of thinking is easier to believe, and really, a part of him wants to believe in it. While it's a blessing that he doesn't dwell on those failures, those still exist in those dark recesses of the mind, ready to crop up should he become vulnerable again. If he could believe in her words, then it would be far easier to fight back against those thoughts, to not let himself be so vulnerable.

A vulnerability that will be pricked again when she mentions the promise.]


...What did it mean?
ramuhs: (⚑ 256)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 03:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[His heart wavers and his breath catches in his throat as he listens to her, and unable to just stay back the way he is, he sits up so he can better reach her.]

I never did. I couldn't.

[Maybe he had given up on mending their relationship, but on wanting to save her—that never changed. Whether they were together or not, as long as she could live in that world, that was enough.

That was how deeply she had ingrained herself into him. How deeply she moved him and made him want to do something more. The small pebble that rolled down the hill and knocked everything else into place.]
ramuhs: (⚑ 226)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[There's just a heavy sigh at that, as if he can't quite fully accept it.]

But I didn't—
ramuhs: (⚑ 268)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[He should have expected it, really, and there's just a muffled sound of protest as he leans back slightly due to the force. And when he gazes at her then, she'll see that heavy weight of emotion in his eyes, that rare vulnerability as those doubts and guilt continue to swirl within.

He knows what she's saying, and he's told her so so many times himself. And he believes it, he does. He himself latched onto this second chance of theirs so that he really could make right on that promise, to finish what he couldn't, but...

That's just it, isn't it? The guilt of not being able to do so the first time when it mattered.

And he knows that he shouldn't dwell on it, that he's giving it his all, perhaps even more than he did before. That this chance, this second life is all the more important because of what they couldn't do before. He knows, but it's because of that damned Ultima that it's all gotten back in his head and it's impossible for him to not feel all this right now. Which only adds to the frustration, knowing that he's let the fiend get into his head as much as it has.]


Benedikta... I...

[So at first he's at a loss for words, his eyes searching hers as if to find reassurance that she means what she says.]

I know you're right... You are, just...

[It's hard.]
ramuhs: (⚑ 269)

[personal profile] ramuhs 2024-11-22 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[He feels like a fool for making her worry for him this way, to have her work so hard to try and support him as she is. It's like imagining a little bird trying to lift a heavy weight, delicate wings flapping with all her might. How fearful herself is feeling, yet pushing so hard for his sake. Their sake.

His lips will crash into hers then, arms wrapping around her tight as if clutching a lifeline, because that's exactly what she is right now. He knows he'll get over this soon enough, but right now he's still floundering and she's exactly what he needs to help get him out of it. The only one who can in this moment.

The one he needs.]


Just stay with me.

[His voice is rough against her lips, the want and desire he has not a physical one, but an emotional one. He just needs her presence, her warmth.]

It'll all pass soon enough, I just—

[Her love.]

I just need you here, with me.

[Be that reminder that she keeps telling him, be that proof that despite everything, it really wasn't all for naught. That he was able to overcome the challenges and will be able to keep moving.]

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