escordvi | closed 🪶 i'm in the end, just what you made me.

[He could possibly fall asleep like this, but at her words—]

Mm?

[A low, languid questioning hum that she will feel the vibrations of as he tilts his head just so. It seems to be an odd thing to say.]

What is?

[She very well could, too, and she had started to drift off when she noticed.]

... Garuda.

[Just a quiet answer back, her finger stopping and starting the motions on his chest as she gives it.

But there is no screaming, no rattling, no whispers, no objections. Just... silence... An odd, deafening silence.]

[Well that wakes him up a bit, brows furrowing as he opens his eyes and looks at her.]

Garuda? What, is it screeching at you?

[He's never really heard of the Eikons speaking to their Dominants before, least of all his though sometimes he would have appreciated whatever insight Ramuh could give him. But he can scarcely imagine what Garuda might sound like.]

Edited 2023-11-22 18:36 (UTC)

[She doesn't look at him when she feels his eyes on her, and she almost wants to curl up against him and hide in shame.]

Something like that.

[Her brow furrows, and her fingers start to shake.]

She has been loud since the gallows. My aether... it's... like when I...

[Her voice trails off, and though she doesn't dare utter those words, she has no doubt he'll pick up on what she's laying down.

Like when she had first awakened as a Dominant... and then the last time that she did.]

I had no idea...

[Slowly he strokes the back of her hair, no need for her to say more.]

Has it just been... Then and now? What does she tell you?

Nothing important.

[It's not technically a lie — she would ignore Garuda if she could, turn off her voice if she could — but it isn't the full truth either.

She shrieks and beats at her ribs and says things that makes Benedikta doubt herself in all aspects. Tells her to take and take, and then destroy. Especially when it comes to him.]

But yes. More now than before.

[Her voice goes low and quiet, and she presses her face closer into his neck. ]

But she has stopped.

[...Hm.]

Are you feeling calmer now?

[If it's connected to her aether...]

[Just a slow nod without much else.]

With you...

[She is. With him, she can't hear her quite as clearly. With him, she can breathe without Garuda taking up all the space in her lungs.]

She is there, Cidolfus. Awake, and angry.

[And the way that her voice trails off implies more that she isn't saying.

That she's terrified of what might happen if she slips.]

[He can tell there is something more...

And he thinks back to when he first found her, with the damage caused by the explosion of wind that had happened after she first awakened. That time was not unexpected as most awakenings to be violent—his included. He still remembers the storm of lightning that struck down everything around him and the initial terror he felt from the surge of power that came with it. It was the only time he ever felt he might have heard Ramuh's rumblings...but never again.

So hearing she heard Garuda then isn't so surprising, but to now hear she heard her again...when she primed before her death, and then again at the gallows and after...

There's a connection to all of them: stress, anxiety, fear. Perhaps an act for survival. That would also make sense as the Eikon wouldn't want their vessel to die so easily.

Even he would feel that "pulse" or "nudge" from Ramuh from time to time, a call to prime when things were dire. Usually his own thought processes are in sync so he doesn't feel it as often anymore, and he never heard or felt much of him in this world. But when Benedikta almost primed back at the execution grounds, he did. He felt that warning pulse, and it's then he knew for certain Ramuh was there... Just silent like always.

But could there be more to it? Of the Eikons, Garuda always seemed the more... Impulsive. Not only that, Benedikta seems more bothered by it.

Awake. Angry, she says.]

Well if you end up priming, chances are you'll be a cute little harpy bird.

[A small attempt to lighten things a little, but he's not trying to brush it off, either.]

But you say she's quiet around me... And she's quiet now.

[A bit of pause before he says with dead seriousness:]

Maybe the sex helps?

[LOOK THE HARPY IS ANGRY AND SHE'S QUIET AFTER THEY DO IT IT'S HARD NOT TO THINK THERE'S SOME CONNECTION THERE.]

Edited 2023-11-23 02:56 (UTC)

[She slaps him on the chest. Hard.

For both those comments.

Before she lifts her head with a deep, deep pout.]

Cidolfus—!

[A few lingering moments of her staring at him before she lowers her gaze again, but remains propped up on her elbow beside him, that frown turning into one that's more pensive because he does bring up a good point, even if he could have gone about it a different way. She's certainly no prude—the least of them all—but with Garuda stirring so much, she needs him to take this more seriously. Treat this more delicately...]

Perhaps.

[She offers that with a tip of her head.

Part of why Benedikta was so quick to go to him, to kiss him now was because she knew that it would hush the Eikon's relentless taunting, only for as long as he was with her, and even then, but if she could escape it for even a moment, then she would take it.

Now, her head drops to his chest, facing away from him.]

... I don't like it. She mocks me.

[And both hits will get an oof! and a grimace, though he knows he deserves it. But he was also being serious!!]

How is she mocking you?

[Trying to soothe her again, his hand will gently brush through her hair, fingertips grazing over her scalp and down her neck with each stroke.

He may also be wondering if this affects Garuda...]

[She shivers under his fingertips, a trail of goosebumps rising when they reach her neck and then wander back up, her eyes closing again at his question.

This had been the part that she didn't want to talk about. She'd rather not talk about. The things that Garuda says prey on her most vulnerable wounds, the harpy digging her talons into them. Digging and pressing and then gouging them open, like she hopes that she will bleed out and surrender herself to her again.

So, there is a long silence that comes, and she can feel the stirring of that aether again, like her winged ears have heard them and now she is listening. He might feel it, too.

An uncomfortable noise sounds from the back of her throat, a mix between a groan and a sigh, because she would really rather not, but...]

Weak.

[That's all she says but given the context of everything that they have yelled about with one another today, it should be enough. Or she hopes that it will be.]

[With him so close, it would be hard for him to not notice—especially when his hand happens to be near her pulse and he can feel that slight change.

He frowns a little, and then more when Benedikta gives her answer.]

Can I just zap her? Make her shut up?

[He always had mixed feelings about the Eikon, so he would have no hesitation whatsoever. Really, it reminds him of days in the past when he really did have to use his levin bolts when he was helping her prime. How he would have to sometimes "shock" her when he felt her aether running wild as she learned to harness that control.]

Cidolfus...

[Her voice is pleading with him, though whether it's to make him stop or to ask him to do exactly that, not even she knows. She's stuck in a strange space where she wishes Garuda would simply go back to being quieter, so quiet that Benedikta wouldn't even know she was there and wanting her back.

Wanting that control over her back.

But right now, it feels like the Eikon is the one controlling the Dominant, and it is taking every morsel of her power to keep those chains from breaking.

And she knows that thinking that only makes it worse, but what else is she supposed to do?

She wants to cry out for help, but she doesn't know how.

So, she tightens her fingers, nails digging into his skin, leans up, and kisses him again.]

I'm serious, if she's just screeching nonse—!

[It's in the middle of his half-grumbling that her lips quiet him, and for a moment he lies there stunned.

And then in the next his lips rub against hers, the hand at her neck firming against her as if to naturally pull her in.

But then it's not long after that he furrows his brows and pulls back, frowning a little.]

Wait—as enjoyable as this is—and I'm not really protesting, mind—this can't be your only solution.

[He'll be met with a frown of her own when he pulls back, her lips chasing after his before he speaks and interrupts her, earning a low, discontented growl from the back of Benedikta's throat.

She knows. She knows that this isn't the solution that she needs. It works, but for how long? He will have to leave eventually, and when he does, Garuda will rear her head all over again with all sorts of new things to taunt her with. It's enough that she has been hurt by his betrayal too, and enough that she seeks nothing but blood and vengeance...

She lowers herself until her forehead bumps his, and she closes her eyes.]

... I don't know what else to do.

[Fingers trail from his chest down his arm until she finds his hand and can grab on. Tight.

And from her fingertips comes a small trickle of aether, a light wind that brushes against the inside of his palm.]

Edited 2023-11-23 04:53 (UTC)

[His heart aches at seeing her like this... Especially since she is being honest and vulnerable in front of him. And he wants to help her, but words alone won't work and he's sure she's not so willing to listen to his "advice" or "speeches"—especially when in the end this is something she needs to battle herself.

...

Still, there must be something, he can do, and when he feels her wind, he'll gently squeeze her fingers with his own and let his levin gently buzz and hum against her own palm, a secret, quiet storm forming between them.]

This is fine for now... You can always come to me if you need it. Or even if you don't.

[Just saying. But continuing to be serious—]

I have some thoughts...but if you don't feel up to it now, we can talk about it again later.

[He shifts his head, nose gently brushing against hers before he drops a kiss against her lips.]

I'll still help you.

[He knows she's exhausted, and this isn't going to be an easy talk, especially with what he has in mind. And even then it won't be an easy thing for her to do. So for now, if comfort is what she needs to at least temporarily quell the beast, then that's what he'll do.]

I... want to know.

[But is there anything he can say right now that would crush her voice? Anything that he could do to help quiet her for just a little longer?

Benedikta values Garuda, she does. She wishes that she could be glad that she is back, prepared to sweep in at a moment's notice, but since that day... since knowing what happened to her the last time she yielded to Garuda's voice, she has crumpled under her power instead. She does not want a repeat, does not want to lose herself to the Eikon.

She feels like that young girl, terrified, sobbing and gasping for air as she clutches at her chest when it became too much, collapsed in the shadows.

Weak...

Benedikta closes her eyes against it, feeling that swell in aether again, the wind at her fingertips spreading to meet the lightning that he discharges from his...

...

....?

But that's when she feels it, as a single purple ribbon of static grazes against her palm, firing up the nerves and sending that familiar ripple of heat all the way through her arm. With a sharp, quiet gasp, she snaps her eyes open to stare at their palms inches apart, and—]

Do that again.

[Cid was starting to lean back in for another kiss when he blinks in surprise.]

Sorry, what?

[Do what again? Kiss???]

[She grips his hand a little tighter, a soft sound passing through her lips when another just barely grazes her skin.]

Your... spark.

[Must she always tell him!?!?

But before he can, she slides her fingers down so that they wrap around his wrist instead, and slowly, she shifts it so that it's pressing to her chest.]

[Look he did a lot of things and was focusing on other things so some clarification was needed! Which he immediately gets and a smirk slowly forms.]

Hm... Like this?

[He pushes more of his aether into her skin, a stronger pulse that will dance over her skin before it burrows deep and spreads out like veins just beneath her skin and travel down her breast, in a space over her heart. Safe enough...but close enough to be felt and send that heat and thrill along with it.]

Yes...

[A soft moan escapes her then, that pulse of static spreading like a web that burrows deep, deep, deeper through her nerves until it reaches her aether, and though it is as soft and controlled as it always is, it scatters it, like lightning could splinter the wood of a tree awaiting that inevitable strike.

She arches up into it, spreading open and allowing it more room to ripple.

And there is a violent burst of aether that follows, Garuda stirring, screeching, and clawing at her insides to get out, reaching for him...]

Cidolfus...

[For a moment, she can't tell her own voice from the Eikons...

...

...before she goes silent again, and all of that aether dissipates as fast as it had formed in that narrow space between them.]

Did you...feel that?

[He knew he would get a reaction—he always did and it was one of the only uses of his aether that he actually enjoyed. However, even for her it was a bit more than he expected, and when there's that large burst of aether...]

—!?

[He felt it.

That low pulse, a rumble deep within his core reacting to those winds that ripped between them that make his eyes widen in surprise.

...No.

Nononononono—

Cid is... Not sure how to respond as he just stares at her before finally finding his voice.]

I did.

[And then a lengthy pause.]

He did, too.

[As if it wasn't bad enough that her Eikon may be getting off from his aether, but Ramuh? Really??? Oh he is so hoping he's wrong about this and it's something else, but given the current circumstances hard not to think it.

But this has never happened before... Why...

THEIR EIKONS BETTER NOT RUIN A REALLY GOOD THING THEY HAD GOING OR SO HELP HIM]

[Her eyes had shut at some point, relishing in that heat and the silent calm that had washed over her, Benedikta relieved more than anything that she can already feel that power dwindling. Not gone entirely—still enough that she can sense Garuda's presence, but not enough that she should be as terrified of it as she had been in these few days.

But... she would be lying if she said she didn't feel that... whatever that was. Garuda always calmed in the storms, which was part of how Benedikta came to love them so much, but what she felt when that spark had electrified her skin was different. Unusual, though not... terrible.

Almost as if the Eikon herself was drawn to that burst of shared aether.

It still doesn't make it any less strange, or slightly awkward when she realizes that Garuda might have actually enjoyed that feeling as much as she had...

The harpy can't have everything. ESPECIALLY NOT THIS.

But when he says that—]

He?

[—she snaps her eyes open to stare at him, her confusion mirroring his.]

You felt Ramuh, too?

...I did.

[He's again trying to process this...]

Not...a lot, but there was some kind of reaction to... That reaction.

[The burst of aether.

Just going to rub his face for a moment.]

Was that really Garuda?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject