escordvi | Quest Shenanigans (open)

Entry tags:

hawks,
sidestep

Quest Shenanigans (open)

Who: Sidestep and ...you?
Status: Open
Where: Various
What: Angry Sidestep dons villain suit, goes out and does quests. They also get dragged into helping tame animals while in civilian guise.
Warnings: It's Sidestep. Excessive edginess and swearing is a given. Anything else I'll warn for if it comes up.

Catching Arsonists

(Sidestep is pissed. Pissed enough that ordinary outlets like the Conservatory or their favorite bar or even sweets from Daily Kneads aren't helping.

No. They need a different drug this time. A different distraction.

And so, when they hear about the attacks on the barns and the food stores, they don the suit and go out as Puppetmaster, intending to dish out a perhaps rougher version of justice than many would appreciate.

Hey, they haven't seriously injured anyone yet at least.

For now, they've got a pair of wannabe arsonists tied up and... are they rifling through their pockets? Really?)

Little Red Riding Hood

(And now for a more action-focused prompt!

This time, Puppetmaster is fighting the posessed Red Rifing Hood Doll.

It's not a great matchup: though their suit is non flammable and does a good job of protecting them from the creature's sharp claws, they don't have light magic or any weapons outside their own slightly augmented fighting skills.

They do have one advantage though: they're pretty damn fast.

They've lured Little Red Riding Hood into a rocky area mostly clear of highly flammable things such as trees and are now using their speed to dodge it's fire attacks. With a sudden leap, they pulse their jump jets to lift them to the air before they cut them and plunge, driving their pointed feet into its back.

The creature screams and swipes at them.

They get ready to fire their jump jets and blast it with their own flame-

The hit connects.

The power supply for their suit briefly cuts out.)

Fuck! (It's a horrible, mechanical sounding noise more than an actual word.

The next hit sends them flying, and they land on the ground in a heap.)

Pegasus Problems

(And for a non villain option...

Apparently, "Chris can talk to animals" is beginning to become enough of a known thing that they've been asked to help out training animals to pull sleds. Or sleighs. Whatever.

They've been given a Pegasus stallion to work with, a young temperamental thing with a temper fiery enough that the only way Sidestep has been able to get it to do much of anything is via bribing it with copious amounts of treats... and everything it does do it seems absolutely determined to do it's own way.

Right now, they seem to almost be in some kind of argument. Sidestep's got a carrot and is trying to convince the Pegasus to walk on a lead by telling it that they'll give it the carrot if it'll just do this thing for them but the Pegasus wants the carrot now, actually, and is absolutely trying to snatch it out of Sidestep's hand.

"What? No. Come on... can't you just-ack!"

With a gentle--for a given value of gentle--smack of its head and neck the winged horse sends Sidestep tumbling to the ground. Their bag flies open, and all their snacks, both human and horse, scattered across the ground.

The Pegasus is pleased with his work, and begins to munch away on these treats.

Sidestep, meanwhile, is uninjured but opts to remain flopped on the ground, rolling onto their back and staring up at the sky.)

Fuck this.

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[ Lacking context, Hawks just sees a costumed individual who is tying up a group of people and committing petty theft.

He swoops down from above and lands behind them, clearing his throat. ]

Excuse me. [ A few feathers seem to be hovering around him, and his expression is less cheerful and more intimidating. ]

I don't think stealing is the answer here.

(A hero? Really? On Nogard?

Underneath the helmet, their eyes are rolling. On the surface, they're as expressionless as ever as they turn to face Hawks. They don't even seem surprised by his arrival, really.)

Well, I figured a few missing dubloons would be a more merciful punishment than what the authorities have planned for wannabe arsonists... but if you insist on the lawful punishment of setting their clothes on fire...

(Thought they were the villain here, did he? Well, look what you've done now, Hawks, these idiots are terrified. Begging them to just take their dubloons and go, they won't do it again, they swear. Please, they were just having a little fun!

...There's no way that "Puppetmaster" is gonna actually do something that cruel, but they gotta admit this is pretty hilarious. What do now, hero?)

[ A hero that can traverse from island to island like it's nothing might give off the impression that he has eyes everywhere. He doesn't. ]

That seems rather....disproportionate... [ There's only the slightest twitch of disapproval at the thought of setting people on fire, for many reasons. He can't support that - but he can't support theft either. ]

I don't really think stealing from them fixes anything for either you or them. Committing another crime to stop one is hardly heroic.

[ Hey, they're dressed like a hero, aren't they? ]

(That's obvious. And good to know, that there's a limit to his ability to gather information.

More eyerolling.)

Just because I don't want to see people hurt doesn't make me a hero.

(That said, a fight isn't their goal tonight, so they'll actually stop.

...They're pretty sure these guys don't have much worth taking anyway. Congrats, Hawks, you maybe saved a few dubloons from being stolen?)

[ There is, he's not omnipotent, he's just doing his best. He looks a bit relieved, and besides if they're not going to actually do something wrong then he doesn't have to worry about it.

These guys also seem pretty terrified, and if their fate is to be set on fire? Well he can't really support that, can he?

So yay, works out all around. He moves to them, crouching down. His back is not entirely to this...vigilante?...lest they think about getting any ideas. ]

You guys aren't going to set any fires are you? I'd hate to have to bring you to someone who's going to burn you to death, huh? Promise me that much.

[ He'll reach for the bindings to let them go. ]

(They're not a--you know what? Fine. If it means they can get back to work they can be a vigilante for now.

...They don't want this guy knowing they can read his thoughts anyway.)

Well, technically they just set the clothes on fire... while they're wearing them. They might survive the initial burns... only to die slowly as infection rots away the body...

(They make a show of looming behind Hawks like a horrible spectre, ready to pounce and destroy these poor fools.

A couple of them were starting to grin, and they might have caught some thoughts about being lucky to be found by this sucker, and well, Chris doesn't want any of them to get ideas.

...Also the way they get all terrified again is really fucking funny.)

[ A bit of side eye is all that Chris gets for their description and Hawks offers them a smile, this one is not kind or cheerful, but rather...dangerous. If his goggles weren't in the way, hiding his predatory gaze, the effect would be much stronger. ]

You're not going to cause any trouble, are you?

[ Of course they won't, right? Hawks gets the bindings undone and gestures that they should in fact leave. Now. It's a wordless suggestion, but one they need to take. ]

(Yeah, as soon as those bindings are undone, those fuckers are scrambling over each other to get up and run away.

Puppetmaster, meanwhile, is really glad that the vocal distorters turn their laughter into a horrible static screech.)

[ The only sign that he does not like having a static screech so close to him is the fact his feathers literally ruffle. It's a moment before he shakes his wings a little bit. One wouldn't think it would be loud with those headphones on his ears, but Hawks hasn't been forthright with his senses. ]

So...what do you need money for?

[ Obviously they must right? Maybe they're hungry? ]

I don't.

(They make a note of his dislike. Something to exploit later, perhaps?

They hold no illusions: it may not be today, but they will eventually have to fight him.

For now though, they turn, and point across the field to a barn, currently a dark silhouette against the star bright sky.)

People have been attacking the food stores and animal shelters. If they're destroyed, and the Corsairs have to resort to stealing every mouthful this winter... what do you think will happen?

(If there's not enough to go around, what will happen to those who are poor, or too weak to take what they need, or simply reluctant to do so? Who might get killed in the resulting desperate conflicts? And how long will the Paladins tolerate such an increase in crime, in death, in misery before they start a war?)

[ If the Corsair's resort to punishment is as brutal as this stranger vigilante suggested, it's a bad situation all around. He doesn't think poorly of the Corsairs on principle, but he does think that seems rather...barbaric.

Nevermind he's always been wary of fire, as it's his biggest weakness. ]

I understand that much, I don't think you can let people get away with it, that much I agree. [ He's on Corsair turf so likely the Paladins don't have authority here, not really. ]

But if the worst should happen, there's surely other options to feed those in need. I'd be happy to help with that.

[ Genuinely so. He's been hungry. He knows what that gnawing feeling is like. No matter how old he gets - and he's not that old really - he hasn't forgotten his formative years. ]

Maybe, but do you think that those in charge would allow it?

(Money, resources. Having them when others don't is a form of power. And if there's anything they know, it's that people in positions of authority love power.

Why wouldn't those with the means to help insist on hoarding it all to themselves?)

I doubt this many miscreants getting the same idea into their heads at once is a coincidence.

The reasons why people take those choices when they're desperate are complex. [ He can't say definitively what the cause is. ]

As for me, I don't think they could stop me from handing out food if I wanted to.

This doesn't appear to be desperation: they're not stealing anything, just burning and destroying.

(It could be a statement of discontent, perhaps. But this many people doing the exact same thing?)

With how often it's happening, I think someone may be influencing people to do this. (A promise of reward, or prestige, or simply convincing enough idiot kids that it would be fun to go mess with the farmers...)

And how will you get the food if no one is willing to share it? Don't tell me you plan on stealing...

Could be, some people tend to be influential, but if they have another goal in mind then... well something to think about. [ And look into for that matter. ]

Of course not. [ Hawks laughs a little bit, but there's a bit of a mental spike. He did not like that accusation, he didn't like it at all. ]

I'll buy it and deliver it to those in need. I can cross long distances quickly.

And how are you going to buy that food? A few meals wouldn't be enough: we're talking potentially hundreds of starving people for months on end.

(How naive.

Better to focus on preventing the food shortages and potential famine in the first place.

Speaking of...)

There are probably more people out burning barns tonight.

By any means necessary. [ There are a lot of hunts that pay a lot of money, he could get involved in that with probably little difficulty. Hopefully. He's completely serious, he'd devote himself to the cause of saving people, that's just how he is.

That, however, that he can definitely help with. Hawks exhales. ]

Then I'd better get to work. Hopefully I can convince those in charge to be a little more reasonable about punishments...

[ And he should investigate if someone's behind these people. He offers his warmest smile. ]

Don't worry, you can leave it with me. [ It's a hero smile. ]

(He is really committed to the hero cause, isn't he?

They can't help but admire this a little, as naive as he is: it's pretty clear he really means it when he says he wants to help.)

I can interrogate them better. (They can tell truth from lies.

They also know more about how things work on Nogard, clearly.

Letting a Paladin just... run around is just gonna get him or someone else hurt.)

Hey you don't have to worry about that, I know what I'm doing. [ Hawks chuckles a little bit, he figures that the vigilante might see him as inexperienced. Nah. He's been at this for years. ]

I'm a professional hero. [ A high ranking one at that. ]

And I can tell, infallibly, if someone is lying.

(Even if he's experienced, he's not nearly so experienced as they are.

...Why are they doing this? They don't like working with other people any more than he seems to.)

Don't think the rest of the armada would be too happy with a Paladin policing things on Nogard.

Edited 2024-12-19 02:20 (UTC)

[ He's not much of a slouch in that area as one might think, considering the things he can focus on and pinpoint if he wants to, but that would be tipping his hand and Hawks isn't about to do that.

Instead, he chuckles a little bit. ]

Guess I kind of stand out, huh? [ One would think he's too conspicuous for covert operations. Not true, but let everyone think that. It's a good cover. ]

(Look he might be a living polygraph with those senses of his but that's not infallible and he'll thus forever be inferior to a telepath in Sidestep's eyes.)

I was more thinking that if people find out Paladins are interfering in Corsair business like this there's gonna be trouble.

Uh, yeah I guess, but I'm not trying to mess with them, I just want to help out.

[ The whole thing kind of makes him want to roll his eyes, but he doesn't. He has enough self-control not to. ]

Help, yes... by enforcing laws outside of your jurisdiction?

(Some part of them wants to laugh, though they understand the frustration. Either way, if he runs into the wrong person, he's going to cause trouble either for himself or the paladins in general.

Just imagine, him attempting to turn someone in and then arguing against the punishments recommended? True, tying them up and leaving them outside was also a suggestion, but they doubt he'd be alright with giving these miscreants frostbite either.)

Edited 2024-12-22 03:07 (UTC)

What's the problem with trying to do good things, even though I'm not in my jurisdiction?

[ Hawks has never encountered this, not really. There's one set of laws in Japan and they all follow them. Anytime he's been outside it was to enforce something he agreed with - so he's not entirely sure what the problem is.

And no, no frostbite. ]

There's no problem... morally.

(They make an exaggerated thoughtful pose, tapping their chin with a long sharp claw.)

But the right Corsair gets the wrong idea and there will be accusations of trying to enforce Paladin laws on us. Unless, of course, others were under the impression that your presence were invited...

Huh. I've never felt less welcome. [ Hawks laughs. That's not true, he's thrown into the deep end often but... ]

I don't think I can just leave it so people's food gets burnt up. That's who I want to protect.

(Somewhere under their helmet, their colorless eyes are rolling.)

The implication was that I would claim to have made the invitation.

Yeah I got that. Well in that case. [ Hawks sweeps his hand. ]

Lead the way.

Alright.

(A moments pause, and then they point in a direction.)

My sources indicated there was a barn about a mile that way likely to get hit.

(And sources, they mean they picked up some thoughts inside some heads that suggested the barns in this area were getting targeted tonight, and they know there's a barn over there that seems like a likely target.)

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Quest Shenanigans (open)

Catching Arsonists

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CW: Sidestep being an edgelord describing graphic injury

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