closed 🪶 so many birds of so many feathers

[garudas]

Who: Benedikta Harman & Others.
Status: Closed.
Where: The Roost.
What: Benedikta tries to fix up the chocobo stables that she broke last month, and she also gets a new visitor through the rifts.
Warnings: None for now.

Comments

[garudas]

[She stops what she's doing, nearly dropping the feathers that she's holding when Betsy so easily figures her out.]

... Trying to find a way to control them.

[A soft clearing of her throat.

Yes. Closing them completely would be ideal and it is her end goal. She's not sure how many people would understand her want to do so, and how many more would try to stop her if they ever found out that she intended to trap them all here if it meant that she and her loved ones would be safe.]

They are unpredictable, and I wish to stop living in fear of being pulled through them. I've no intentions of returning to my world.

[serendipitously]

It's exhausting. [ She realizes after a few seconds of silence that she's left that as a very incomplete thought. ] Not having control of something. Living in fear of being taken somewhere else or having something taken from you.

[ So she can understand the desire. The last few years of her life have felt like nothing more than a state of living in constant fear of being taken off to some other place or having those she loved snatched away from her. Though she does hesitate at that last bit the other woman says, enough to blink a few times. ]

You'd rather stay here?

[garudas]

I would.

[She fidgets with a feather in her hands, running her fingers along the spine to straighten it out as she takes a moment to figure out how to answer.]

There is not much for me to return to, and even if there was, my world is far less desirable than this one. [A bitterness edges into her voice.] There are no kings to rule over me, nor are there games of men to play for them. I can choose how I live my own life here. And I have.

[There are some days where she finds herself still learning how to do so, but she's getting better at it!]

[serendipitously]

Try not to judge my writing too harshly, my brother was always the academic between us.

[ Said with a small shrug and a smile that quickly falters at what's said next. ]

I'm sorry to hear that, about your world I mean. [ Her own back stiffens and she gives a look that's much more akin to understanding than sympathy. ] If this place really is free from games men play, I may want to stay here myself. [ Though she'd feel...guilty for leaving behind her own duties. But a place where she could just be herself, free from even the subtle manipulations of her own brothers? Well, it might be nice. ]