escordvi | closed ⚡🪶 and forevermore, i'll be chasing the storm we had.

[She rolls her eyes, but her foot taps and runs gently along his leg as these memories take her back.]

Maybe it was because they were vying for my attention that I didn't care.

[Really, she could tell that they were trying so desperately hard to have her look their way. She was the new girl and one of the only girls among the soldiers, and they fought constantly for even just a glance.]

But I only ever had eyes for one... [She snorts quietly to herself.] I'm not even sure when it changed, to be honest.

[A question that could be asked for himself... As well as other changes that happened, but this is sweet breakfast time not bitter sad time, so sticking with the better thoughts.]

Feelings are funny like that. They usually exist for a while before you even realize it.

[She idly pokes at another piece of her pancake before eating it.]

It really was admiration at first. I'd wanted your approval on just about everything I did.

[If the way that she ran to him every time she learned something new to show him was any indication of that. She'd wanted her Lord Commander to notice her, and tell her she'd done a good job.]

And then I suppose, at some point, it turned into wanting something more... A stupid girl I was back then.

[And that he did. Granted, she was a bit obvious about it, but that's what made it all the more cute and charming at the time.]

I wouldn't say that.

[Another nudge of his foot.]

I just have that irresistible charm, it's no wonder you fell for it.

[He's teasing, trying to lighten things a bit.]

Edited 2024-02-04 00:38 (UTC)

Mm. No wonder...

[It's not as if she feels the mood has dampened, but she does bring her eyes up to his when she feels that nudge of his foot.]

And you?

[She waves her fork at him.]

You can't get away from answering either.

[He had been expecting it so he just grins, not afraid to answer unlike a certain little bird.]

Hmm... When was it.

[He pretends to be thinking very hard.]

Well you were always quite charming and there were times when I thought you were cute in how hard you worked to clearly impress me.

[A smirk.]

Not to mention you were quite pretty.

[Obvious, though.]

But I suppose...

[And then a softer, somewhat sad smile.]

It was when you cried that one night that I felt the change.

[Just when she thought her face couldn't get any redder... he somehow finds a way, and she distracts herself by chewing on more sausage, glad to have that much at least. Though, even that is proving difficult with him. She had never thought to ask before because she wasn't sure if she ever wanted to know... always afraid that she wouldn't like the answer that he had.

So, when he gives that one, her breath catches, and it's a blessing that she's finished that bite before it did, or else it might have sent her into another coughing fit.

She knows exactly which day he is talking about, and it's been a long, long time since she's thought about it.]

... That was when, hm?

[There's something of an amused, if sad, smile that passes over her expression, and a breath of laughter to match, breaking that pause.]

I wonder if that was it for me, too. I'm not sure I've ever had anyone hold me so tight as you had...

Was quite the moment to be sure.

[Just a slight quirk of his lips as he watches her, and he reaches out to grab her free hand, fingers sliding between hers.]

At some point I had grown quite fond of you, but it was then that I realized just how much. A strong desire to never let you go through such things again.

[A gentle brush of his thumb as he looks down.]

If only I did.

[The look that she gives him is a somber one, the silence that falls between them the heavy sort... Not exactly one she was hoping for over breakfast, but sometimes it can't be helped, can it? Even if they are making an effort to mend their broken relationship now, there will be no shortage of moments like this one, will there?

It's something that they have both grown used to, however. Or so she'd like to think...

Her hand turns over in his to hold it properly.

How she blamed him before for it, and would have readily done it again and again... She'd made herself believe after coming to this world that he didn't keep that promise. But it isn't anger that her heart aches with anymore... only sadness and regret. In the end, Benedikta realized it was just as much her as it was him, and she wishes she could be furious about it still, but...]

Even still...

[She tries to quirk a smile to ease the tension.]

After that night came some of the best days.

[He wouldn't have blamed her if she did. Even now, when he knows they were pulled along like puppets, he still feels responsible. That it was still he who should have figured it out or done something even it not. That sense of powerlessness that continues to weigh heavy even as he tries to fight against it.

So seeing that little quirk of her lips helps a lot more than she might realize. She may think him always so confident and full of himself, but the truth is he harbors a lot of doubt. He's just too good at masking it and forcing himself to pretend otherwise to try and not let it get to him.

His fingers tighten around hers as that bit of shadow clears and there's a little more genuine brightness in his eyes again as he looks at her, because she's right. Looking back will always yield that regret, but...]

They were. And I would never forget them.

[Regardless of how things were between them. And that is perhaps why it was also so difficult to let her go.

...]

Shame there's still food on the table.

[Just a wry grin as he takes an attempt to shift the mood away from the heaviness that threatens to ruin it.]

[It would be near impossible to forget them. The hunts that would take them away for a few days at a time, the trips out to sea that would take them away even longer, the sparring matches and the lessons, and simply being in each other's company more.

Had they fallen in love then? Who is to say... She was still a bit young to understand what it all meant, but perhaps. It wouldn't be so farfetched to say that it was love all along, would it?

Wishful thinking from a young, naïve girl.

And she's about to make a comment on how their lives here are not so different from those days, when...]

Oh?

[She lifts a brow at him, grateful for the change.]

And what would you be doing if there weren't?

Having a different meal instead.

[There's a clatter of her fork as she taps on her plate, her eyes never leaving his, that sullenness gone and replaced with an equally mischievous grin.]

Well then, I suggest you eat up. Surely you'll have room for dessert?

[How quickly he turned the tables on that.]

[He just chuckles at that, waving his fork as his other hand remains with hers.]

Been waiting for it all morning.

[But he really will eat what's on his plate because jokes aside, last thing they need is another stomach disrupting them.]

Perhaps there will be something extra...

[She reaches down to dab her finger into the whipped cream on her pancakes...

...

...and just as she looks like she's going to press it between her lips, she reaches across the table and smears it on his lips instead.]

For being so patient.

[And back to her food she goes.]

[He was already watching her, but when she smears it on his lips instead, she's lucky she moved her finger away before he could catch it. Instead, he just slowly licks it over, letting his tongue run over his lips to taste that light sweetness.]

Starting to test that patience.

[But he will be good...]

[And he can be sure that she is watching him too, her eyes shamelessly locked on his lips as he licks the whipped cream away. She might have also unknowingly licked her own, too...]

Yes, well. I have to be sure that it isn't just some ploy.

As if I would ever joke about that.

[Come now.

...

But yeah he would just it for some kind of ploy to get her to do something, true.]

Not joke, Cidolfus.

[She takes a bite of her pancake, waves her fork at him again.]

Feigning your patience to get me to agree. Better that I test it to be sure that it's real and true.

And what would you do if it weren't?

Well, I suppose I'd have to find a fitting punishment instead...

[She taps his leg with her foot.]

What do you think?

Hmm... And what kind of punishment would that be?

[Her eyes narrow playfully at him.]

I was asking you what sort of punishment you think would fit such a crime?

[She takes a bigger bite of her food this time.]

Oh is that what you meant.

[He thought she meant the idea in general.]

You sure you should be asking the "criminal"? Might just consider something that would work in my favor.

[And now he needs his two hands again to cut his pancakes and sausage, so a slow removal as he leans back to start working on his plate again.]

[Honestly... anything that she could offer as "punishment" would work in his favour... Who are either of them kidding?]

Not so honourable a man as you'd like people to think, are you?

[Hah. If people knew how not-so-honourable their captain was when it came to certain matters...

She takes up the sausage and presses it slowly between her lips, nibbling on it and humming thoughtfully, her eyes flitting to his briefly.]

I might just have to go for seconds.

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