escordvi | closed ⚡🪶 and forevermore, i'll be chasing the storm we had.

[He holds her gaze, and while he can never be too sure when it comes to her...

...He choose to believe what he believes is a genuine sentiment to stay hidden in her otherwise vague words.

So there's the slightest quirk of his lips before he slowly leans back, hand rising to run over his now neatly shaven chin. He'll put on some aftershave to soften the hairs further, but it feels just like it always has, her technique and skill just as good as it was in the past.

As his fingertips brush over the space above his upper lip, his eyes once more meet hers before he's suddenly leaning in—]

I'll try not to.

[—kissing the corner of her mouth with a quiet—]

...Thanks.

[—and then pulling back, his other hand slowly slipping off the edge of the counter as he steps away so she can leave.

His words were to her helping him shave, but...he also means for just being here at all. For checking on him, for persisting, forcing him to get up. So what he's really saying is he'll try not to keep her waiting for him to bounce back for too long. It'll take some time still, the physical and mental toll he put himself through these past few days too much to recover in just a few hours. But he'll get there.]

[The kiss surprises her, her own lips puckering and her eyes widening in response to it, and when he pulls back, she almost chases after him, wanting a proper kiss to make up for the lack of them before. She hadn't thought she wanted any in the first place... until he went and gave her one.

She slips off the counter as soon as he backs away, but rather than leave immediately, she grabs hold of the hand touching his face and very lazily threads her fingers through his, a silent gesture to know that she understood and accepts his thanks.

Gratitude that she isn't sure she wants.]

Mm. Stop that.

[And she'll take what she thinks is rightfully hers, which is a kiss to the corner of his mouth.]

I'll be outside.

[The quiet smile at her hand turns into a laugh when she takes that kiss. And for a moment, it does look as he might pull her back, the grip on her hand tightening. Pull her back and not let her leave at all.

Instead, he compromises and tugs her back just enough so he can kiss her properly on the lips. It's soft, light...maybe even a little tentative, but a kiss all the same.]

[A kiss is a kiss, and it had been what she wanted, strangely enough. She wouldn't seek it on her own, forcing him instead to offer it when he felt he wanted to, so she just takes that single step back and yields, returning it in kind, however soft and brief it is.

And she would seek more, as they are wont to often do, but he really does need to get cleaned up if he wants to get back to any semblance of normalcy. The beard was just the first step.

So, with just a glance and not a word spoken when she pulls back, she slides her hand free from his and leaves him in the bathroom, pulling the door half shut on her way out.

When he comes to join her, he'll find her seated in his chair at his desk, her feet kicked up upon it, a leather-bound journal of his "doodles", as she likes to call them, open on her lap, and a lit cigar held between her lips.]

Edited 2024-01-07 06:29 (UTC)

[He's also tempted to chase, but he knows if either of them do they will never get out of this bathroom. So he just lets her slip away, watching her even after she leaves and closes the door before he finally heaves a sigh and closes it more fully so that he can undress and shower.

And while he won't take long as promised, in the time he is in there he takes some time to reflect on his past actions, of how he really had been letting all this get the better of him without him fully realizing it. Always telling himself that he'd "pick up" tomorrow, and then several tomorrows passed. Really, if Benedikta hadn't come by, he would still be working and barely living properly. He would have recovered on his own eventually, but it was better that she had.

When he finally steps out of the shower and finished with his own facial and hair care, he'll look at her sitting at his desk and watch her for a moment before speaking up.]

Made yourself at home, have you?

[And speaking of "being at home"—since Cid didn't have a change of clothes, he's just standing there at the entranceway with the towel around his waist.]

I did.

[The words come out on a slow drawl as she holds the cigar between her teeth, her feet kicking gently on the desk. The journal slams shut with a gentle thump, and while she is far too comfortable to move she does tilt her head just far enough that she can glance at him...

...

But upon seeing him standing there in nothing but a towel... Well, she's just going to turn more fully, her eyes shamelessly raking over his body as she bites down on the cigar and takes an inhale. Honestly, did he really need the towel?]

Is that a problem?

[No, he doesn't, but he is being courteous.

And he knows hiding something is more tempting than if it's on full display, the way her gaze falls on him not going by unnoticed.]

Not at all. So long as you don't move things around too much.

[He'll slowly straighten, one end of the towel slipping down his hip just a bit as he turns to head to the bedroom to change.]

[Don't think she doesn't notice the way the towel slips, revealing that peek of the carved muscles underneath, and she arches a brow, letting her eyes linger before they follow him out of the room.]

It was already disorganized.

[He'll hear the leather book thump on the desk as she gives it a toss, her shuffling, and then her footsteps coming into the bedroom after him, and while she won't come all the way in, she will treat herself to a show from the door where she leans, cigar now between her fingers, the scent of his soap mixing with it so very appetizing.]

A simple thank you would suffice.

I'd call it a chaotic order.

[A wry comment in return, though she is right. She knows he usually keeps thing more organized than that, and even if he can sometimes get overwhelming in his work with papers everywhere, there was usually still some kind of order to it. Very rare has it ever gotten so haphazard and messy as it was.

Hearing and not surprised she followed him, she will arrive just in time to see that towel fall, his back to her as he rummages through the small dresser next to the bed to pull out some fresh clothes.]

And I thought I already gave you one.

[Granted, that was mostly for the shaving but he did mean it for everything else as well.]

I thought that was just for the razor work.

[No, she knows what it really meant. She's just being her usual greedy, difficult self, and will continue to be as she wanders into the room now that he's rid himself of the towel, and she'll press up behind him as he picks out his clothes, her hand coming around with the cigar to offer it to his lips.]

[He just glances over his shoulder as he feels her approaching, amused as he takes the cigar.]

Do you want more?

[She lets him have it so that her hands can run along his sides, her head leaning in to brush her lips against the back of his shoulder.]

I wouldn't say no to a little more...

[Did he really expect her to just stand idly by?]

[His eyes close brief, a quiet rumble of laughter rippling up his throat at the touch of her hands and lips.]

I think it's more than thanks that you're looking for.

[While it's true he didn't expect her to stand idly, he didn't think she'd come at him like this either. Granted, he's not assuming much, just thinking she's doing the usual light tease.]

[She is. Just a little bit of light teasing because it's always hard to resist. Especially when he'd been so distant before—something that she isn't used to him being. And while she won't push him any further past this, she just enjoys and savours the smell and feel of him.]

If you've more to offer, then... I won't deny it.

[He takes a long draw of the cigar before he releases it into the air in front of him, leaning back against her as he does with his head tipping back so that he can better see her face.]

Tempting. But I have a suspicion if I did we'd never see those hot springs...

[A hand goes down to the one teasing his side.]

...And it may be better over there than this "dingy, wretched little place."

[Said with an amused quirk of his lips.]

[He'll feel her low chuckle brush against his skin, her fingers moving under his to weave them loosely together.]

I suppose... Despite my best efforts, there's no getting rid of the wretched.

[Though, how many times will she find herself here in the near future, she wonders?]

But you do know that the springs are not all private? Unless you can afford a room.

I don't think you really mind that all that much.

[The "wretched" part. But then there's a low, thoughtful hum before he grins.]

Especially when it's going to be the reason why I can afford a room for a night or two.

[Her lips brush against the back of his neck, breath warm and ticklish and feather-light.]

And there will be room for two, yes? Should I collect my things from my apartment?

Edited 2024-01-08 04:54 (UTC)

If you'd like. I already have my things here so wouldn't take me long.

[That does get her to pause, her lips withdrawing from where they were brushing over the nape of his neck, and while he may not see the look on her face as she leans away from his view, he might hear that tentativeness.]

... You're sure about this.

[He does, and while it stings a little, he can't really blame her given how he was earlier. So the fingers still threaded with hers tighten.]

I am.

[He then looks down, averting his own gaze as lets out an exhale.]

Having something of a little "vacation" might do me some good, and your company would only make it better.

Mm.

[It makes her heart flutter, hearing that. It shouldn't, but it does. What she should be doing is telling him to stop wallowing, that he sounds so pitiful like this, but... instead, instinct takes over, and she grabs him by his chin with her free hand, the other tightening alongside his, craning his head back, and kissing him properly. Because that is all she can do, all she can say, even if it isn't saying anything at all.

Parting from him is difficult after that, those words having sunk deep and wrapped around and around her lungs like a chain linking her to him...]

... Then I will gather my things and meet you there.

[Whatever he expected, it wasn't the kiss, so she actually catches him by surprise. However, it's brief, and his own hunger for her taste quickly meets with hers, pushing back just a bit as it's always difficult to pull back. But this time, there is a bit of clingyness that that makes him linger, one that he doesn't really quite fully realize. All he does feel is that he just doesn't want to part with her just yet. That her presence is helping push away the lingering sadness and loneliness that is not leaving as quickly as he would like.

But he does part, he does pull back with a smile that has a hint of his usual playfulness.]

Don't keep me waiting long.

[Really, now that he's more "sober," he finds himself a bit pathetic being like this. It's not something he should be dwelling on or letting himself be caught up on it. But despite all his experience, his reasoning, his acknowledgment, and not only knowing that he really will be able to jump back to it within the next day or so but that Mid herself would ragging on him for being this way, at the end of the day Cid is human. And he is a father who regrets not knowing if he will ever see his daughter again without once again giving a proper goodbye, left behind to process the changes and all the things he missed out and will continue to miss out.

A thought that also makes him look at Benedikta a little differently as well. Not that he wouldn't miss the others, but Mid and Benedikta are the ones he's closest to with more personal history. So to be reminded once again that either of them could disappear at any moment...

Well, it makes a man think. Think a lot and reassess things.]

Edited 2024-01-08 06:04 (UTC)

[She hears that echo of her sentiments, and damn it all, it only makes it harder for her to pull away when she sees that heaviness still lingering in his smile, not quite the arrogant, teasing one that she's grown used to in the last several months. Hints of it, but not enough for it to feel as it normally does.

Maybe that's why she feels so strange about this. Why her own heart aches when she sees that his is, too. She doesn't realize how much she relies on him being himself to save her from tumbling too far into places she doesn't want to be until he's been dragged down there, too. He probably doesn't realize it either, she thinks.

She doesn't like this look on him. It reminds her of their final days together in Waloed...

Which is why, even after she pulls away from him, she lingers, her own clinginess coming through.

She does quirk a grin though, at one corner of her lips.]

Sometimes I wonder if you remember who you're talking to.

[She could outfly him anyday.

But with one more lasting look, she leaves him behind, walking out of the bedroom and leaving him with that half of the cigar.

True to her word, she won't keep him waiting for long. Just as he asked of her. Within the same hour, the door of his workshop will fly open and in a flurry of feathers, Benedikta lands with a breeze that throws a few loose papers from his desk.]

[He can only smile a little wanly in return as he watches her leave, that strange pit in his stomach gnawing at him when she's gone completely and all that's left is the silence around him.

Silence he had long become accustomed to at various stages in his life, and had grown quite comfortable with.

A silence that had been broken by the whirlwind that was his daughter, and at times by Benedikta.

Now, both are gone, one for good as far as he knows, and one just for now. Yet the silence they both leave behind creeps into him in an unusual way, a way that it never had before. A silence that it takes him a moment or two before he's finally able to shake it off and resume dressing himself, the cigar hanging loosely from his lips before he finally extinguishes after he's through. A silence that continues to follow him as he goes back to the bathroom to finish freshening up and then returns to pack a small bag with clothes and necessities.

Just as he finishes pulling on the drawstrings, he thinks how it had been a while since he had something of a "vacation," and given how muddy his head has been, perhaps this really is a good idea. A chance to... Not be here.

Here, where he slowly walks over to where Mid used to work and sit in her chair, just like he did when she first left for Kanver. Here, where at least her old notes and ideas are neatly tucked away, things he's already looked at and will likely try and complete later. Here, where he's realizing how much he'd like to really stay in this world and continue this second life of his.... This second chance that could be taken away at any moment.

A second chance...

To live with the woman who blusters her way through that door, the sunlight pouring in with her. He just looks up quietly at her, taking her in the sight before he finally quirks his lips and greets her.]

Never were a fan of knocking, were you.

[Except she did knock the first time she came here. And for all her denials and hesitation and refusals when he first joked about her taking care of him, she's honestly done everything he needed, even if it was in her own way.]

Edited 2024-01-08 09:43 (UTC)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject