escordvi | closed ⚡🪶 and forevermore, i'll be chasing the storm we had.

[She's going to choke on the sausage now at this rate. It's a good thing she finished that bite before he got around to that.]

What, were you following me?

[Benna, the hallway was on the way to his room. Of course he would be down there—]

You do remember where that portrait was hung, don't you?

[Just a teasing smirk as he pours some syrup onto his pancakes. The whip cream is also there for hers.]

Honestly you were quite cute with how wide-eyed you were...

[And then as if he had a realization, he points his fork at her.]

Did you have a crush on me since even back then?

[Well she would start garnishing her pancakes and eating them if she knew she was safe!!! As it stands, the food is proving to be a hazard in his presence, because she almost spits out her coffee at that. All she wanted to do was wash that sausage down!

And now look at her, all red in the face with some coffee dribbling across her lips over her pile of pancakes while she huffs.]

If by crush, you mean looked up to... How could I not...?

[Except there is no hiding the way she avoids his gaze.]

[Oh he is definitely enjoying this, watching her squirm and trying to hide. There's that shine in his eyes, that smirk even as he chews. Yep, he has definitely turned strange if he's finding a lot of joy seeing her so flustered. But maybe it's because of what those actions mean, and the thought of her having feelings for him from even so long ago is both touching and a little bittersweet. How long has she held those feelings...]

What did you like?

[And yet he will continue to be merciless, even playfully nudging her foot with his from under the table as if poking her.]

[She is going to smack that smirk right off his face with a sausage!!! He will be the death of her in this world, and all because of that awful twinkle in his eyes that draws her right back in.

But the worst part is that she will not give him the satisfaction of knowing he broke her. Wore her down until all that was left was her in all her vulnerabilities. Vulnerabilities that she protects by spraying on the whipped cream, allowing the awful squirting noise of the bottle to fill the silence while she nudges his foot back, her own a little less playful and more a get away.]

You are feeling rather arrogant this morning, aren't you?

[Is it because of what transpired last night and this morning?

But again. No satisfaction. With a defiant tip up of her chin and a very pointed huff, she goes on.]

I was just a girl, but I wasn't blind, Cidolfus.

Edited 2024-02-03 16:55 (UTC)

[Yet her defiance just continues to feed into it, so really he's also getting satisfaction that way. Since he is deliberately riling her up—]

So just my good looks, hm?

At first... yes.

[She hadn't known him well enough. Didn't even trust him.

She stabs her knife into her pancakes and starts to cut them, but her motions slow, her expression shifts, and she furrows her brow, adding on quietly.]

... You were the first person who had shown me any kindness.

[Just going to shove a huge mouthful of pancakes in.]

[Hmmmmm?

He watches her at that, mulling over her words. Given how he found her...

There will be another little nudge of his foot against hers, this time a little gentler and more affectionate even as he continues.]

But not the last. I recall seeing all those young bloods quick to vie for your attention. Surely you would have preferred one of them compared to an "old man."

[All right, he was in his thirties at the time and far from "old" compared to now but it's always different for those younger.]

[She rolls her eyes, but her foot taps and runs gently along his leg as these memories take her back.]

Maybe it was because they were vying for my attention that I didn't care.

[Really, she could tell that they were trying so desperately hard to have her look their way. She was the new girl and one of the only girls among the soldiers, and they fought constantly for even just a glance.]

But I only ever had eyes for one... [She snorts quietly to herself.] I'm not even sure when it changed, to be honest.

[A question that could be asked for himself... As well as other changes that happened, but this is sweet breakfast time not bitter sad time, so sticking with the better thoughts.]

Feelings are funny like that. They usually exist for a while before you even realize it.

[She idly pokes at another piece of her pancake before eating it.]

It really was admiration at first. I'd wanted your approval on just about everything I did.

[If the way that she ran to him every time she learned something new to show him was any indication of that. She'd wanted her Lord Commander to notice her, and tell her she'd done a good job.]

And then I suppose, at some point, it turned into wanting something more... A stupid girl I was back then.

[And that he did. Granted, she was a bit obvious about it, but that's what made it all the more cute and charming at the time.]

I wouldn't say that.

[Another nudge of his foot.]

I just have that irresistible charm, it's no wonder you fell for it.

[He's teasing, trying to lighten things a bit.]

Edited 2024-02-04 00:38 (UTC)

Mm. No wonder...

[It's not as if she feels the mood has dampened, but she does bring her eyes up to his when she feels that nudge of his foot.]

And you?

[She waves her fork at him.]

You can't get away from answering either.

[He had been expecting it so he just grins, not afraid to answer unlike a certain little bird.]

Hmm... When was it.

[He pretends to be thinking very hard.]

Well you were always quite charming and there were times when I thought you were cute in how hard you worked to clearly impress me.

[A smirk.]

Not to mention you were quite pretty.

[Obvious, though.]

But I suppose...

[And then a softer, somewhat sad smile.]

It was when you cried that one night that I felt the change.

[Just when she thought her face couldn't get any redder... he somehow finds a way, and she distracts herself by chewing on more sausage, glad to have that much at least. Though, even that is proving difficult with him. She had never thought to ask before because she wasn't sure if she ever wanted to know... always afraid that she wouldn't like the answer that he had.

So, when he gives that one, her breath catches, and it's a blessing that she's finished that bite before it did, or else it might have sent her into another coughing fit.

She knows exactly which day he is talking about, and it's been a long, long time since she's thought about it.]

... That was when, hm?

[There's something of an amused, if sad, smile that passes over her expression, and a breath of laughter to match, breaking that pause.]

I wonder if that was it for me, too. I'm not sure I've ever had anyone hold me so tight as you had...

Was quite the moment to be sure.

[Just a slight quirk of his lips as he watches her, and he reaches out to grab her free hand, fingers sliding between hers.]

At some point I had grown quite fond of you, but it was then that I realized just how much. A strong desire to never let you go through such things again.

[A gentle brush of his thumb as he looks down.]

If only I did.

[The look that she gives him is a somber one, the silence that falls between them the heavy sort... Not exactly one she was hoping for over breakfast, but sometimes it can't be helped, can it? Even if they are making an effort to mend their broken relationship now, there will be no shortage of moments like this one, will there?

It's something that they have both grown used to, however. Or so she'd like to think...

Her hand turns over in his to hold it properly.

How she blamed him before for it, and would have readily done it again and again... She'd made herself believe after coming to this world that he didn't keep that promise. But it isn't anger that her heart aches with anymore... only sadness and regret. In the end, Benedikta realized it was just as much her as it was him, and she wishes she could be furious about it still, but...]

Even still...

[She tries to quirk a smile to ease the tension.]

After that night came some of the best days.

[He wouldn't have blamed her if she did. Even now, when he knows they were pulled along like puppets, he still feels responsible. That it was still he who should have figured it out or done something even it not. That sense of powerlessness that continues to weigh heavy even as he tries to fight against it.

So seeing that little quirk of her lips helps a lot more than she might realize. She may think him always so confident and full of himself, but the truth is he harbors a lot of doubt. He's just too good at masking it and forcing himself to pretend otherwise to try and not let it get to him.

His fingers tighten around hers as that bit of shadow clears and there's a little more genuine brightness in his eyes again as he looks at her, because she's right. Looking back will always yield that regret, but...]

They were. And I would never forget them.

[Regardless of how things were between them. And that is perhaps why it was also so difficult to let her go.

...]

Shame there's still food on the table.

[Just a wry grin as he takes an attempt to shift the mood away from the heaviness that threatens to ruin it.]

[It would be near impossible to forget them. The hunts that would take them away for a few days at a time, the trips out to sea that would take them away even longer, the sparring matches and the lessons, and simply being in each other's company more.

Had they fallen in love then? Who is to say... She was still a bit young to understand what it all meant, but perhaps. It wouldn't be so farfetched to say that it was love all along, would it?

Wishful thinking from a young, naïve girl.

And she's about to make a comment on how their lives here are not so different from those days, when...]

Oh?

[She lifts a brow at him, grateful for the change.]

And what would you be doing if there weren't?

Having a different meal instead.

[There's a clatter of her fork as she taps on her plate, her eyes never leaving his, that sullenness gone and replaced with an equally mischievous grin.]

Well then, I suggest you eat up. Surely you'll have room for dessert?

[How quickly he turned the tables on that.]

[He just chuckles at that, waving his fork as his other hand remains with hers.]

Been waiting for it all morning.

[But he really will eat what's on his plate because jokes aside, last thing they need is another stomach disrupting them.]

Perhaps there will be something extra...

[She reaches down to dab her finger into the whipped cream on her pancakes...

...

...and just as she looks like she's going to press it between her lips, she reaches across the table and smears it on his lips instead.]

For being so patient.

[And back to her food she goes.]

[He was already watching her, but when she smears it on his lips instead, she's lucky she moved her finger away before he could catch it. Instead, he just slowly licks it over, letting his tongue run over his lips to taste that light sweetness.]

Starting to test that patience.

[But he will be good...]

[And he can be sure that she is watching him too, her eyes shamelessly locked on his lips as he licks the whipped cream away. She might have also unknowingly licked her own, too...]

Yes, well. I have to be sure that it isn't just some ploy.

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