closed 🪶⚡ i'll be the light to lead you home

[garudas]

Who: Cidolfus Telamon & Benedikta Harman.
Status: Closed.
Where: The Roost, The Farplane.
What: Cid and Benedikta move to a new house in the Roost. Event stuff later.
Warnings: The usual. :)

code

Comments

[ramuhs]

[Again she's right. How desperately he moves to do everything he could so he wouldn't lose her again.]

But I...

[But that's the rub, the shackle that will never leave him. A fear that will chase him born from a reality he can't run away from.]

[garudas]

[He'll feel her shift beside him, moving closer, if such a thing were possible, so that her arms can wrap more around him.]

But you what...?

[She presses her lips together, stifling the urge to frown at him.]

Tell me.

[ramuhs]

[It takes him a moment before he can finally answer in a strangely small voice.]

...It doesn't change what happened.

[garudas]

[A beat of heavy silence, and then another, and another.]

... No, it does not.

[Neither of them could ever hope to change what had happened to them back in Valisthea, both together and apart.]

Nothing that we ever do will change what happened. [Her own voice carries the weight of her regrets, especially those that came to light in her final moments before she gave up her control to Garuda.] So what are we to do about that?

[ramuhs]

[A low exhale as he closes his eyes, knowing full well what the answer should be yet still having trouble accepting it for himself. Just like she's having the same troubles.

It's why he doesn't want to be like this.]

What do you think we should do?

[garudas]

[Her gaze moves to look at him again, and something tugs at her heart. She wishes she had an answer, but...]

I do not know. There is nothing that we can do, is there? All we can do is simply keep on living here... together.

[Her hand searches around until it finds his so that she can clumsily thread her fingers through his.]

But you could at least let me have a say in it.

[ramuhs]

And if it's too much for you?

[His hand squeezes hers, almost desperately as if he's afraid she'll fly away.]

I don't want you hurt because of my own failings.

[Hadn't he already hurt her enough because of them in the past? Even now?]

[garudas]

Cidolfus... I think we are long past the point of anything being too much for me, hm?

[They have been through so much, too much she thinks, that she would be a fool to run now.]

Besides... as I said, I get to have a say as well. I get to decide whether you have or have not, and you did not fail me today. You've yet to fail me in this world.

[ramuhs]

[For a moment his expression crumples, not in rejection, but...just pure overwhelming emotion that he doesn't know what to do with it. He should believe her since, as she said, it's her voice that matters. She's the one who can decide, not him. Perhaps he'll always feel inadequate, but shouldn't he at least be able to accept her words?

...]

Then will you believe what I say in return?

[garudas]

[There's a clear hesitation there for reasons that should be obvious—she still has the same conflicts that he harbours.]

... And that is?

[ramuhs]

[The very same, so if he's going to let her push him, he's going to push her just as much.]

That you did save me and have done so countless time. That your winds are not just destructive, and that you are capable of more than that.

[garudas]

[Her heart wavers at that, wishing so badly to believe him. And it is not that she doesn't, but that there is that tiny part of her that will always doubt herself, just like she knows there will be for him. But at least now, she can accept that he thinks so and move forward from this. It is a bit hypocritical, yes, but perhaps they have both been set in their ways for so long.

So, she simply nods first... before she leans in and kisses him, so soft and so tender that it leaves a lingering ache in her chest when she brings her lips away, just so. And, in thanks, he will sense the touch of her wind against his cheek, so light that it might feel like he is imagining it, but it is there before it's gone.]

A terrible circle that we have found ourselves in, Cidolfus...

[Her fingers hold his hand more firmly.]

Just please continue to trust in me.

[Both in saving him and helping him to bear these burdens he carries.]

[ramuhs]

[It's only now that he manages a small, genuine if still pained smile at her, his lips finding hers to return that kiss one of his own. A deeper one that lingers, that both seeks her comfort and reassurances while also giving her his own.]

A terrible circle indeed.

[A low murmur against her lips before his arm still around her hugs her close.]

But at least it's a circle we can work through together. Just...know that it's not you that I doubt, but myself.

[garudas]

... And you should not doubt yourself.

[She allows herself to be pulled closer, adjusting herself so that she can be, until she is laying half on top of him, her chin on his chest to look at him.]

You have done... far more for me than I could ever hope to repay you for.

[ramuhs]

I feel like I never will, honestly...but I'll try to believe in it more.

[It's the best he could do for now, but he really will try to not dwell on this any more than he has already, for many reasons.]

And I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything...or that you somehow have to match me. Just having you here is already more than I could ever hope for.

[garudas]

[It is the best the both of them can do right now, but for her, it is good enough. Seeing him smile again is good enough, even if it might be lined with that same, deep sadness at its edges, reflecting her own back at her.]

And the same goes for you. I do not need some hero or leader or whatever other title that you or other people want to give you. Only you, Cidolfus.

[A brush of her lips across his, he'll feel her smile pull a little wider at last, the weight on her chest feeling a touch lighter.]

Though, I would not say no to a dashing rescue. I quite like the look of you when you do.

[ramuhs]

[Although slowly, he's letting her finally ease those aches and pains in his heart, the guilt that will always be there lessening just a little. How often will she need to remind him of how much she's done for him he doesn't know, but he hopes it won't be for too much longer.

So he can allow that small huff of laughter against her lips as his eyes look up at her with some amusement.]

Do you now?

[garudas]

Mm.

[She gives a little nod in affirmation, happy just to see that look in his eyes change. She much prefers that glimmer than anything else that he has held in them today.]

I like it when you take care of me. ... Do you think it silly?

[More than that, she simply craves someone who will love her enough to look after her and keep her safe.]

[ramuhs]

Not at all, I think it quite adorable.

[A light kiss against her lips, feeling that lighter, warmer air returning around them.]

But also a little surprising, knowing your pride.

[garudas]

Hush, you.

[She offers him a pointed look, but it is all playful.]

My pride has not gone anywhere. I merely like it when you spoil me.

[ramuhs]

And fortunately for you, I have found great enjoyment in spoiling you. Something that you do seem to want for quite some time...

[There's something in his voice as if he's trying to hint at something.]

[garudas]

[Oh, she catches it, and she pulls back far enough that he'll see the curious arch of her brow.]

Well, there is plenty that I have wanted...

[ramuhs]

Hmmm...

[A low hum as he smiles more.]

Like a family?

[garudas]

[She immediately regrets moving away from him, because he no doubt will see the instant flush that rises into her cheeks. She casts her glance aside, suddenly feeling like every inch of her skin is buzzing and humming.]

I...what...ever gave you that impression?

[ramuhs]

[...Mhm. Just a broader grin as he not so subtly pulls her back to him.]

It was your voice that roused me, and I heard quite a bit.