closed 🪶⚡ but all i really know, you're where i wanna go

[garudas]

Who: Cidolfus Telamon & Benedikta Harman.
Status: Closed.
Where: The Roost.
What: While making the glass charms, their owl has a little big surprise for them.
Warnings: Cute baby owls and disgusting, domestic fluff.


🦉

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[ramuhs]

You think so?

[garudas]

[She laughs softy under her breath.]

You do not? You lead quite the interesting band of outlaws now, and have all these new inventions under your belt. You are a married man, and raised both a daughter and an owlet into being a father of his own little chicks. What is there to not be so proud of?

[ramuhs]

Hmmm, I don't know....

[It should be clear he's fishing for that praise and compliments...though it does feel a bit good to be reminded of things that others see as accomplishments and he just takes for granted.]

Would they really be so proud of their son becoming an outlaw? Of trying to push against the world itself?

[garudas]

[Regardless of his fishing attempts, she will happily hand them over on a gold platter for him because she, too, preens with pride.]

They sound like the sort of people who would be. Not so cruel like everyone else... Hard to believe a man like you could have grown up with a cruel mother and father.

[ramuhs]

[His smile fades a little because he knows, especially with her own circumstances. A story that is unfortunately more common than not.]

I've seen it, but... I do know I was quite fortunate in that regard. And even if my mentor was ruthless, it was a heavy hand I needed.

Perhaps it's that sort of...balance that made me the man I am today.

[garudas]

Perhaps...

[As his smile fades, her own spreads a little wider.]

But I think much of it was all you. It was not him who raised Midadol, or who led some great rebellion.

[There's a pause, and she swallows past the lump in her throat when that memory of that one fateful night flickers through her mind. Of a girl's wish that set him on that path...]

I think that is who you are. Revenge or not.

[ramuhs]

[He looks at her for a moment, and for that moment he feels a little... Bashful? A touch embarrassed? And he can't help but chuckle as if to hide away from that feeling.]

And is that what you like about me?

[So he spins it back to her—]

[garudas]

You know that my answer to that has not changed since the last time I told you, yes?

[With a giggle, she nuzzles her nose against his.]

But yes... Though, I think it is a little unfair because I am quite certain I've come to love everything about you.

[ramuhs]

How is it unfair? I've come to love everything about you, as well.

[garudas]

Unfair that you would ask me such a thing when you already know my answer.

[She pulls back so that he can see her smile, and the fondness in her gaze.]

You've too good a heart to be anything else, Cidolfus.

[ramuhs]

What, I could be ruthless and cruel if I had to be.

[He wouldn't like it, of course.]

[garudas]

[She does not mean to snort with a laugh like that.]

But I do not wish for you to be. I think you should stay exactly the way you are...

[A pause.]

Especially if we are to be carrying on with this life of ours.

[ramuhs]

[He shifts a bit so he can lean a little closer.]

What, you want me to be the "nice" parent?

[garudas]

Well, I certainly would not be.

[She laughs, though there is something else beneath the sound and the smile. Something a touch more unsure, maybe even melancholic and pensive.]

You are saying you would not be the one to spoil them rotten?

[ramuhs]

Well, I suppose I might a little.

[As clearly evidence by how he spoiled Mid— But he does notice a slight shift, watching her a little.]

But you say that as if you wouldn't, either. Don't think I didn't notice you also doing the same to Mid and especially to Bidowlfin.

[garudas]

Oh, I am not saying that I would not at all. Bidowlfin was difficult because he could fit in my palm when we found him.

[And how could she say no to that!?]

I only meant that... [Her brow twitches ever so slightly.] You would naturally be the "nice" parent, I think.

[ramuhs]

[....Ah ha. He thinks he knows where this may be going, or at least her thoughts.]

And you don't think you could be?

[His voice is softer as it's now his turn to cuddle in closer, his hand gently running over her arm.]

[garudas]

[She just gives him a pointed look, as if to say really... She knows the kind of person she can be, especially when she gets frustrated and angry.

But right now, she will accept his cuddling and return it in kind, in part so that she can hide from him as she gives a shrug of her shoulder.]

I don't know. I suppose I could be "nice", but... You are the natural.

[ramuhs]

[A low hum as his hand slides up her arm to her shoulder and then to gently caress her hair.]

You still can be, too.

[Even when she tries to hide his eyes seek hers, even if it's just to look down at the top of her head.]

I know...that things were difficult and that the years shaped you to what you needed to be. But I also know how you were before, and I still see that bright-eyed young girl even now, right here.

Of course there's nothing wrong with being harsher and having a firmer hand. But you are far kinder than you think.

[garudas]

[She lifts herself up from where she hides against his neck, catching his gaze the moment that she does. How did he—? No, that's a silly question. Of course he could read her like the open book that she is around him, but that still does not diminish her surprise at how easily he figured her out.]

It is not just that.

[There's a sheepish look about her now.]

All this talk about you and your father... I realized that I never knew what having a mother was like. Nor was I taught how to be one... Yet, you...

[She pauses, takes a breath.]

You were always so... so good at it. Being a father.

[ramuhs]

[...Ah...

There's a small nod of understanding.]

Well I don't know... I know I made a lot of mistakes had to ask around for help. As you know.

[A light smile as he gently taps her cheek.]

And I am sure there would be many who would gladly help. But haven't you already proven yourself with Bidowlfin, short as it was?

[garudas]

Is that not different?

[There is a flicker of fear and doubt in her gaze, not in his words, but more in herself.]

This would be a human child... and I do not wish to squander it, should we ever get there. What does it even mean, to be a mother?

[ramuhs]

[He looks at her for a moment.]

What do you think it means to be a mother? What have you seen or ever wished for yourself?

What would you want for your child?

[garudas]

[That's part of the problem, isn't it? She has no idea what it means, nor what she would have or even should have wished for. She has never had a mother figure—even the other women in Stonhyrr were not that to her, though perhaps in part because she never let them become so. She wanted to be their equal, not some girl they needed to dote after. But she knows that is not the answer either.

Her brow furrows in thought. It is a much harder question to answer than she suspected.]

I... don't know.

[It is only the honest truth.]

I suppose it would mean... Hmm. To be a comforting presence. To know when to have a firm hand versus a loving one. To know how to teach them to be kind...

[All things that she is not very good at.]

[ramuhs]

[He also did not realize how difficult a question this might be, and for a moment he can't help but feel sad for her. Her story is not an uncommon one, but that doesn't make it any less unfortunate or pitiful, so he can't help but brush his fingertips against her cheek when she finally manages.]

All good answers, but...

[Perhaps drawing from her past experience would be better.]

Try and imagine when Bidowlfin was still a little hatching, or when Mid was still just a bairn. When you were holding them, what did you feel?