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Welcome to the first Test Drive Meme for

escordvi! Anyone can participate in the test drive, regardless of invite eligibility. Just keep in mind that only those who have received invitations from the mods can actually reserve on August 25th and apply on September 1st. Our Interest Check can be found here.

For your toplevel, please include the following: Character Name | Canon | Armada Choice. If undecided, put "Undecided" for the Armada.

For everyone's convenience, TDM threads can be carried over in game if you wish! If you are still unsure which armada to place your character, you can play it a bit loose and vague in the TDM and make retroactive changes if you carryover the threads. We'll have more armada focused prompts in the opening log in September. The log itself is set to cover the next two weeks, until the end of the month. Characters will appear at random intervals during this time rather than all at once, so players have some more flexibility on how much more adjusted they are for someone else.

IMPORTANT REMINDER FOR MAGIC USERS!! All magic abilities will be "sealed" until characters get their tattoo from the Inkwave parlor in Eltrut. That means no magic on the starter ships before docking.

We do require TDM threads for samples for our application!

If you have any question about the TDM, comment here. If you have questions about the game in general, please comment to the Game Info.

TOPLEVEL DIRECTORY (Updated August 28)

STARTER SHIPS: ORIENTATION

There are two ships that serve as starting ships for each armada: Stormbringer for the Corsairs, and Royal Fortune for the Paladins. There are various ways new arrivals—or riftfarers as they will be called, among other creative names—will appear on or by these ships.

🚪 Random room. It could be empty, filled with crates or supplies; down in the hull where the livestock are kept; have the luck to awaken in a bed...or the misfortune of that bed already occupied; somewhere in the kitchens; in the bathroom—any room! Now let's hope the doors can open or someone may have to try and ask for help. Or jump through the porthole if there is one and it's above water.
⛵ On deck. If not in the ship itself, another possible spot to wake up to is somewhere on the maindeck. If they're lucky, they're on the deck itself. More unfortunate souls may find themselves caught in the sails or netting, the crow's nest, or on the top of the masts. Someone should be able to help, right? Or catch.
🌊 In the water. The most unlucky sods will find themselves appearing in mid-air just past the ship and plummeting straight into the water. Good news, there's always someone on the look out for such a thing and calls for help to throw a lifesaver get the rowboat will be made. Are there sharks? Well... ...Are there?

However the new riftfarers arrive, they will be poorly clothed, practically rags or loose uniforms depending on the ship. Fortunately, veteran crewmates will guide them, escorting them to a room with a strange typewriter in it. After typing their name, the typewriter will magically continue and type by itself at a fast pace until it dings and rolls out the paper. This paper will have the following information:

• Name and Shellphone ID (journalname)
• Armada (Corsair or Paladin, will match the starter ship)
• Cabin Number for their personal cabin on the starter ship
• Apartment Address for their personal address at their base armada location
• A basic map of the starting locations in Eltrut, including written directions (continued in the Eltrut section)
• A basic map of where they can find a chest with their original clothes and belongings (this will be different for every person and will be anywhere either on the starter ship or on Eltrut—players can be creative here).

After that, the crewmate will do their best to explain the basics of how they got here, what's going on, and what they'll need to do to live in Escordvi while they are here, giving them a small leather pouch with money. They will be reaching Eltrut soon, so the crewmate will suggest they look around, meet the others who have arrived. Even from their distance, they will be able to see the giant sea turtle that serves as Eltrut's leviathan.

ELTRUT: FIRST GLIMPSE

After reaching the port of Eltrut, several birdfolk will appear and happily greet all the new arrivals from both starter ships. Here it doesn't matter which side they are affiliated with, as long as they keep those swords and weapons sheathed and not pointed at each other's throats. The birdfolk will even act as guides, showing them the main places they should visit and give them a visitor's map to help guide them.

🐚 Microshell. The first stop that is encouraged will be Microshell, the main store to acquire their own personal Shellphone. The paper they received on their starter ship will have their ID and the staff at the store will set them up, explaining how the device and the network works.
✒️ Inkwave, Tattoo Parlor. The next stop is Inkwave, a tattoo parlor run by a very burly but friendly octopus, Knistej. Here everyone receives their own unique magic tattoo, allowing anyone to cast specific single element spells and other magic. Note: tattoos are required before anyone will be able to use their original magical abilities.
📜 MANTA office. The final stop is the MANTA office, where all the request, mission, and task notices are posted. Each armada has their own branch office for armada specific notices as well. A great place to find jobs to earn some cash so they don't stay a hobo forever.

It's a lot to take in for sure, with the port city bustling with all walks of life. Not only do they have both armadas mingling with each other, there are different races and species from all over Escordvi gathered here. It's not just humans, which many riftfarers always seem to be surprised about. There are also plenty of veteran riftfarers who will gladly give some advice and even share stories of their world. Maybe some are familiar.

After finding their belongings, exploring the town, and meeting other people, being able to just sit back and enjoy a drink and warm meal will be in order. While there are plenty of places to choose from, the Minstrel and Cask will be the top recommended tavern for all newcomers to visit at least once. Great drinks, great food, and can learn a lot from the patrons or meet more people.

Of course, as expected of a highly popular tavern, it's not always peaceful. A man will ask travelers what they want to do with their life. Clearly drunk, he only accepts answers that hint at wanting to find riches. If told this he will give out a treasure map. But if told anything else, he'll put up a fight, hoping to deliver a black eye. Those who do receive the map will be sorely disappointed—it will lead them down a long, winding, circuitous path around town and end at a random outhouse, likely occupied and certainly stinking to high heavens. There's likely some kind of moral here, but at some point, others who have been duped will return to the tavern to sling their fists around.

Looks like another tavern brawl for the night.

QUESTS

For those who want to try their hand at some quests, there are a few that would do well for newcomers. Teaming up is of course encouraged, no matter what the affiliation. You can assume they acquired some kind of ship for the quests out at sea, either the starter ship or some other ship heading out there.

Spicy Squid Eating Challenge

Eltrut Port

There is a traveling food ship (think food truck but on the water) that has been going around challenging ships to their extraordinary Hornswaggle's Spicy Squid Eating Challenge. If participants can scarf down a prepared three-pound bowl of exceptionally spicy ghost pepper squid and rice, they will win their meal for free as well as a crate of dried spicy squid for their ship's stores. If participants fail, they will have to pay for the meal and the crate.

...Careful, are some of the squid tentacles still moving?

Coral Reef Snacks

Eltrut

Rumour has it that certain types of coral reefs contain unique properties that can make you more alluring to the one you desire, but no one is sure what the side effects are. Test this out by trying to crunch into chunks of coral reef pieces to see if there are any added effects on your body. Hopefully, they don't ruin your teeth in the meantime.

Oh, and you have to find the correct coral reef too! Red chunks seem to make you more affectionate towards others, while blue chunks seem to make you more volatile towards others. Eaters, beware!

Giant Sea Slugs

Starter Ships

Giant sea slugs tend to only attack ships if they feel threatened but are otherwise peaceful creatures. They're about the size of a large wild cat. They also secrete a slime that contains strong disinfectant properties. This thick slime is highly sought after for its ability to heal wounds cleanly, so kill them and collect as much slime as possible.

Killer Sharkgulls

Eltrut port and ships

Seagulls can be a pain to most ships. Yet, seagulls that have evolved to be violently carnivorous can be even worse. These new birds, effectively named sharkgulls, have been seen attacking ships and ports alike. They are big enough to eat small children in one gulp or will do their best to eat full-grown humans after they've ripped them to bite-sized shreds. Beware and kill them before they can kill you!

Siren's Serenade

Out at Sea

A merchant's ship has crashed upon an outcropping of rocks after being lured in by a group of rogue sirens. These captivating creatures possess the power to ensnare their prey with their enchanting voices, luring unsuspecting souls into the depths to meet the grim fate of drowning.

Search for the missing ship and help rescue the captive sailors before it's too late! You will be supplied with special earplugs to muffle out the siren's voices so be careful to keep your ears effectively plugged. You don't want to succumb to the siren's bloodlust yourself.

Any sailors or rescuers affected by the siren's song can be treated with a harpy's potion that can reverse the song's effect. Or tie up the afflicted for twenty-four hours to wait out the effects.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Astarion looks down at his untouched glass of wine and thinks about this for a long moment. This is such a weird tale to tell!! How do his other party members just march up to people and say it all willy-nilly! Why is everyone so forthcoming! ]

This tale starts with a mindflayer.

[Still all the alcohol left in that glass too, huh? Interesting.]

Already, you've painted a harrowing picture for me. What dealings had you with a mindflayer?

[ he would slight of hand but like...what if he fails and gets caught tossing it over his shoulder. or worse what if he gets a nat 1 and throws it all over his one good shirt. the dice don't always roll in our favor. ]

I was taken by one. A nautiloid passed through the city, and I got [ he shrugs, his voice a little hollow: ] lucky.

I was infected, days ago. [ No ceremorphosis. No teeth. No tentacles. All of his skin still on his body. ] We were told that there was someone--well, multiple someones really, depending on who we wanted to deal with--in the camp who could remove the tadpole. That turned out to be wishful thinking. The goblins were infected too, only, in their infection they were much more subservient. They prayed to a god called the "Absolute," and wanted us to join their cult. We politely declined, and then we had to have a good natured conversation about it at the end of our blades.

[Now that was a lot to take in. Of course, as Astarion mentioned being infected, the drow's gaze flicked up and down him again, more searching this time. And of course, he'd find absolutely nothing.

But most people would barely know a nautiloid ship when they saw one, let alone the name of it. Most anyone who knew of mindflayers though would know of the inevitable consequences of infection, and just how quickly it occurred. Astarion should be... well, a lot less handsome right now, and a lot less personable, to put it lightly.]

And the goblins, being so happily infected, would never see a reason to help remove what they'd assume to be the blessing of their god. The Absolute... I've only heard but whispers of that name. A cult, that's enticed away a number of drow from the worship of Lolth. If it's powerful enough to shake a Lolth worshipper from their Dark Mother...

Almost funny to write it all off as brain worms and be correct about it this time.

[Never mind the dark joke though, more importantly-]

I see no reason not to believe you. A fine bit of trouble you've managed to find yourself in. What they never really remember to tell you about matters of luck is that 'shitty' luck also exists, I'm afraid. But at least you still have your mind about you, and no tentacles besides. I'd hesitate to think of how a goblin might remove a mindflayer parasite anyway, perhaps it was for the best that this didn't pan out.

Not all the leads were goblins at least. We recused a druid from the Emerald Enclave. He seemed promising, as a healer, but even this was beyond his ken.

[ At least he's damn fine to look at in camp so like, Astarion can't complain too much on that front. ]

I'm not surprised to hear about the Absolute's reach. A drow was one of the goblin's leaders, though we didn't exactly stop to chat about her beliefs prior to the whole cult thing.

[ But they did steal her sweet, sweet armor which fit Astarion like a charm! Sorry girl but those bonuses are (chef's kiss).] ]

And so now we are searching for a cure and, I suppose, trying to save the realms from the Absolute. I don't know. It all seems rather grandiose. And we keep stopping every five minutes to assist random strangers! At this rate, we'll likely die before we ever see the end of this business. Alone and in some unmarked grave because we tried to deliver a bloody letter.

That parasite seems truly anchored in there, if a druid healer couldn't help you with it. I don't suppose you have anyone around who isn't too attached to both their eyeballs? Might be able to pop one out and see if that doesn't do something. At the very least it'll give you something to practice cures on if you can free it. If you do learn anything, might I pester you a bit to tell me the details, by the way? I've an associate who's obsessed with mindflayers, I'm sure he'd be beside himself with excitement if he knew they were evolving somehow.

[But in more sober affairs,]

I wonder who she was before she stumbled into the cult. Or rather, before a parasite tunneled into her...

[Lets be real though, anything she was wearing would look better on Astarion anyway.]

That whole 'savior of the realm' thing tends to creep up on you when you're battling against certain gods, yes. It certainly doesn't help if you're being lead by a soft hearted altruist either, you'll be helping every smallfolk and baby bird you stumble across.

[One might think he'd sound more sour about this, but no. There's a distinct tone of mirthful warmth to his voice, as if he were bringing up a pleasant, if somewhat frustrating memory.]

It's worth your time to tag along for the sake of brainworm extraction, if nothing else.

[ This is so deeply unsexy. He almost wants to bury his head in his hands for how much he messed up this situation that was otherwise going very well. And now, instead, they're talking about the disgusting mindflayer worm behind his eye. ]

Her name was Minthara if that means anything to you.

[ he might as well pass that on. Then someone could remember that she died. So maybe he isn't as awful as he pretends, for all he also claims he doesn't want to help anyone. ]

We're certainly a group that would never adventure together otherwise. We even have a cleric of Shar in our midsts!

Edited 2023-08-22 01:23 (UTC)

[He'll change the topic he swears, but the brainworms are really interesting, sorry Astarion.]

... Minthara? From House Baenre? Really?

[Yes, he does know that name, actually. And he can get away with stating as much too, considering everyone knows the name Baenre in Menzoberranzan.]

A cleric of Shar is just wandering around saving the lives of the innocent and helpless? ... Maybe the parasite ate her brain a little more than everyone elses.

[Yeah no this topic is in fact dreadfully unsexy, he needs to clear his worm-free mind of that image now.]

You haven't touched your drink, I hope my questions haven't put you off too much.

[ he raises his hands innocently -- man Tav did had some misgivings about being seen murdering her maybe that was why?? ]

I didn't exactly have time to ask. She attacked before we even made it to her office.

[ the comments about shadowheart make him laugh though, and then he thankfully gets an out on this whole parasite talk. But that out is right over to his untouched drink. ]

Oh, haven't I? [ he looks at the glass as if this is news to him ] Perish the thought. On the contrary, your company is just so lovely I wasn't even thinking about it.

[ usually this is about where he might make a move but like....maybe the parasite stuff was still too fresh. Stupid parasites!! ]

I doubt many would weep for her loss, but the insult of it will sting. I'd be careful walking around the Underdark. Heretic and deserter she might be, but she was of high pedigree nonetheless, and the Matriarchs are always keen for an excuse to see some bloodshed. I'd just pretend you've no idea who she is, act clueless if anyone speaks of her demise.

[But back to other affairs. He regards the drink as Astarion professes to being too distracted to think about it, before throwing out a different lifeline, so to speak.]

Perhaps then just something to eat. I simply must repay you for the pleasure of your company and the story you've told me. While I can't quite call the tale entertaining, it was nothing if not fascinating, and illuminating at that.

Surely, there must be something here that you'd like to taste tonight.

[There we go, he's gone and thrown this right back into blatant flirtation, he's a helper.]

[ He knows an invitation when he sees one! And he's not going to pass up a perfectly good invitation. ]

And what if what I want isn't on the menu?

[ Astarion won't even be subtle about it. He places his hand on Jarlaxle's thigh to make his point obvious. ]

[Now we're back on track! His hand slips to the one on his thigh as a more sultry smile crosses his face, briefly casting a look about them just to ensure that they weren't about to be rudely interrupted here. He'd hate for the mood to get ruined twice over.]

Then I think we ought to find a place where I can indulge you properly. Quality dishes after all are best savored and not rushed...

[If he can find a place to slink off to with his new friend for the evening, he's going to take it, that's for sure. After such a stressful day? They both deserve a little relaxation.]

[ The irony of this conversation is delicious. Quality dishes, indeed. But he won't bite him, not tonight.

Still his question poses something of a conundrum. He'd always had a place to take people to, before. And now he...has to figure it out for himself? Go somewhere on his own? ]

I'm sure we can find an inn. I haven't spent all my coin yet.

[ Better than going to whatever cabin they had on the boat, really. ]

[If he knew he was saying this to a vampire spawn... he'd think he's very funny. He'd think he's hilarious and then he'd double down on it.

But there was indeed an inn nearby. He'd made good to find out where the closest one to this tavern was; having a place to rest with some amount of privacy had been the first thing he'd secured once he'd arrived on shore.]

I know of a place, I've already secured my lodgings for the night. I would be more than happy to share it with you.

[Because he is not fucking anyone on that damn boat, he will need to be paid in gold before he sets foot on that boat again. Fuck that boat and all it's oranges. He gestures towards the door with a roguish grin.]

I'll lead the way, if this suits you.

Quite the gentleman. How can I say no to that offer?

[ Sadly, he has to remove his hand from Jarlaxle's thigh, but at at least it's only temporary. So remove it he does, but he stands eager for the promise of more.

Too bad they both have low light vision and he's not going to get away with hiding his very obvious markings in the dark but he is determined to simply distract him enough that it won't ever come up! ]

[There's a distinct possibility that Jarlaxle might get a little too involved to notice the bite marks, where there's a will there's a way!

It was a shame to lose that hand on his leg, but when they rise to leave he does brush his own hand against Astarion's, and then again just barely ghosting a touch at his hip, daringly close to the other man's rear.]

It isn't a far walk, we'll be there in just a few moments.

[Indeed it could be seen clear enough from the tavern, still not too full yet. After all, the tavern hadn't closed up for the night quite yet, last call was still an hour or so away. He was for the door and intent on reaching there just as quickly as he'd suggested it too, quite eager to continue this little interaction in a more private setting.]

[ Astarion is content to lean into the touch and encourage, even, the way Jarlaxle seems to move for more. He'd already offered him his body, after all. As far as Astarion was concerned, that meant Jarlaxle was free to touch him however he pleased.

He likes, too, this eagerness. He matches his step, his own heart quickening with the desire of it. Sure, he's a vampire, but his dick still gets hard! He's got needs.

He leans in close as they walk, quiet and consistorial as he asks: ]

What do you like? I think you'll find I'm very flexible.

[ Both in body and in willingness! ]

[It never did go away, no matter how many times he found someone to consort with like this. The excitement, the desire of it all. Even five hundred years later it's still just as fun as it was the first time and tonight was no exception. Even more exciting than usual really, considering how far flung he was.

A stupid idea some might say, considering he only had a rudimentary understanding of things here, but sometimes stupid was fun. It wasn't as if he didn't have plenty of reason to be as self-assured as he was anyway. He kept his voice low and soft, slowing his steps just briefly so that he could murmur into Astarion's ear, lips just shy of skin.]

Whatever you feel I deserve to have of you, of course.

[With heat in that tone, heavy and deep.]

After all, this is my offer for you... Shall I take then or receive? Unless you'd rather I lead.

[ Oh. His ear is so sensitive, the feeling of Jarlaxle's breath upon it makes him shiver with delight and anticipation. To say nothing of how Jarlaxle's tone sounded, of course.

And then there's his words. That he speaks of deserving, that he puts the decision entirely in Astarion's surprisingly ill-equipped hands. He plays it off as nothing more than a momentary consideration, taking time to consider his choices. Savor them.

He's about to tell him that he'll lead. That he wants Jarlaxle on his back, and that he'll show him how good he can make him feel. But then he recalls what Jarlaxle said about the drow, about their place. Their lack of agency. And as much as he wants to explore this freedom for himself, there's a strange feeling that nags at him. That feeling like he wants to be good, even when all signs point otherwise.

So by the time they've made it to the Inn (since it wasn't far) and he has to actually start making a decision he settles on: ]

And if I wanted to give you the freedom to decide? What then?

[The smile on the drow's face borders on knowing, as if he heard something he wholly expected, his eyes hooded as he reaches for the door to the inn and opens it for the both of them. The stairs were just ahead, the room for the night just a few steps away.]

Then I'd have you till daybreak, until exhaustion takes us both to reverie until dusk again. I'd have you clawing at sheets, at me, and I'd savor the welts drawn across my back later. I'd fill you completely and hear you demand yet more until we've both gone hoarse.

[And then, as an afterthought, with humor in the tone-]

And I'd accept the noise complaint the next day with pride.

[ Astarion blushes to the very tips of his ears, warm and flushed with desire and trying desperately (and failing) to hide the way it makes him feel to hear all of that. He laughs at the joke, happy to hear that bit of humor in with the rest. It's just the right mix. Enough to let him lower his guard, enough to let him want.

What a dangerous thing.

And yet, he gives into it all the same. He grabs Jarlaxle's hand and pulls, heading up the stairs quickly now. He'd start stripping in the hallway if they don't get there fast enough and that really won't do.

Of course, when they get to the top he has no idea which room is his and he's taking all he's got not to start presses kisses against his delicious skin now. ]

Come on then, that's a big promise to fill.

Just as I thought, red does look good on you.

[The blush was precious, really. He had to just press it a little further, he couldn't help himself. The reactions were just too good to pass up.

If he weren't so keen on getting up there as soon as possible himself, he'd have stumbled a bit as Astarion grabbed his hand and pulled. Oh no he kept up the pace just fine, unable to keep his free hand from lightly, cheekily tugging at the other man's belt, or plucking at the fine shirt, laughing softly as they managed to make it up the stairs. His turn to lead now, he wasn't about to let them both suffer out here much longer.

Even in all this excitement his fingers were still deft, pulling out the key to the door and swiftly unlocking it.]

I'm nothing if not a man of my word, you'll find. And I've every intention of keeping it to the letter.

[There were few sounds sweeter than tumblers in a lock falling into place. The door swung open and now he did the pulling, tugging Astarion inwards and leaving the matter of slamming the door behind them in the rogue's capable hands. Or foot, whatever it took to get the damn thing shut as he busied himself with far more important matters; seizing the other man in a searing kiss as he went to fumble with the ties upon Astarion's shirt.]

[ Practiced hands remove the key as easily as it had been placed, a simple flick of the wrist to grab it and close the door in one easy motion. He locks it behind them, even as he relents into those pulling hands. Perhaps showing off a bit, himself. Rogue to rogue communication.

It's only moments like these that it occurs to him that he wears so many damn layers. But as much as he wants to help, he also wants to see Jarlaxle undressed. He figures the other rogue can figure it out just fine. So he reaches for Jarlaxle's belt, undoing it with all the grace of a pickpocket trying to part an unsuspecting target from his silver. That's satisfying too.

But he can't help himself. He leans forward and kisses Jarlaxle's neck. Careful with the way he does so his bite marks aren't visible. He keeps his fangs to himself, though, his kisses almost chaste if not for their urgency. ]

[He'd compliment the fine technique if he weren't as caught up as he was. Later, stroking egos came later, he was keen to have his hands full of something else right now.

The drow's outfit was no less complex, but it seemed as if Astarion knew damn well what he was doing in that department. Excellent, he could focus on returning the favor, managing to easily pop buttons without loosening a single thread with swift and agile fingers, desperate to feel skin beneath his hands. The drow's belt rattled to the floor with all it's little satchels and bags, and with a kick that was far more precise than it looked, he knocked it out of the way. Don't need anyone stepping on that and finding any wands of fireballs in the process. Those trousers were tight, made to accentuate the brigand's body, but he'd lend a hand there in a moment.

With a sigh like a man finally finding water for the first time in days, he tilted his head back at the sensation of lips upon his neck, making good to loosen Astarion's belt even as he looked away. He didn't need to see what he was doing there, he knew his way around a belt. The sooner that was on the floor the better, though he had to pause for a moment just to grip the other man, desperately grasping at that finely rounded ass.

Savor and appreciate, after all.]

[ Astarion has to let go to shrug off his doublet, woefully still encumbered by the white shirt underneath. But at least it feels like he can breathe a little easier once the other man gets his belt undone, even for all the that the touch his electric and all he wants is more of it. That desire is answered rather quickly when he feels Jarlaxle's hands on his ass.

Savor and appreciate, indeed.

Astarion's hands move as if stillness were a sin. He finds the buckles for the piwafwi easily enough, and from there he takes a moment to grope at his chest before moving to undo his shirt.

All the while, he kisses his way up his neck, lingering just for a moment against an artery, welcoming and full of life. From there he kisses the beautiful line of his jaw, making his way to the drow's lips. ]

STARTER SHIPS: ORIENTATION

ELTRUT: FIRST GLIMPSE

QUESTS

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getting a little nsfw in here me hearties

Pillaging some booty

go boys go!

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