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<< september: maiden voyage >>

Welcome to our Maiden Voyage log for the game! Because the grand opening is a bit different from how things will normally flow, the log is more like an event log with the MANTA Board included at the bottom. The focus of the log will be everyone getting a first taste of the home base for each armada, but not before having a farewell celebration in Eltrut to the new initiates! Since it is a little beefy, we've included navigation links to help jump between sections.

Players are welcome to use the MANTA Board as additional prompts in the log, or create your own open logs for them. There is no wrong or right way, whatever is most convenient for you.

If you have any questions about the log, comment here. If you have questions about the game in general, please comment to the Game Info.

TOPLEVEL DIRECTORY (Updated September 13)

ELTRUT: FAREWELL SENDOFF

It's been about a week or so since the newest batch of riftfarers arrived, and now the ships are ready to take them to their native armada base. But before everyone goes their separate ways, a special "sendoff" is held for the new initiates. Hosted by older, veteran riftfarers and their respective armada affiliation, two major competitions are held. One is to promote partnership between the armadas, the other is for their competitiveness.

A fan favorite for a number of years now, Legends of the Gutsy Ultimate Sailor Warrior Competition is a massive two-person obstacle course that has a whole suite of challenges to test sailor's physical and mental resolve…and teamwork. The only real rule is each pair needs one Corsair and one Paladin, which can be made voluntarily or randomly. Along with crossing a pool via spinning logs, swinging and climbing ropes, and plummeting down ziplines, there are a few notable obstacles teams will need to get through.

🚪 Steering a giant ship's wheel in order to lift the door to the next obstacle. Both partners need to take turns, one spinning it upwards and the other continuing down.
🦑 They must piece together the three parts of the Silver Squid Statue, fitting each piece properly and vertically together (have to hear the snap to ensure the pieces connected!) and then placed it into a hole in a door to move on.
⛰️ The final obstacle is called Mount Grog, where the team must climb to the peak of this hill of craggy stone. While there are footholes aplenty, there are also steam vents, "landslides" of small boulder-shaped pillows, and warm "lava" of red-dyed ale, making the terrain slippery and sticky! Mind the steam and ale, they are made of strong liquor and may make those with low tolerance a bit…intoxicated.
🐱‍👤 While some are free to spectate and cheer in the audience, others may volunteer to try and sabotage the rest of the competition by chucking wilted produce, or if you're really lucky, the showrunners will pull you from the audience to hit switches to change up the layout of the map mid-race!

The second event is Capture the Flag and takes place along a long stretch of beach using the remains of two retired ships on either end: one with each of the three masts flying a red flag, the other with three blue flags. Each player will have a small flag of their armada colors attached to a belt on their waist, along with a few very full colored water balloons. The goal is to steal as many of the other team's flags as possible and bring them back to their ship before the hourglass runs out. The only rule is no magic allowed! Have to use good ol' wit and grit. All magic will be suppressed and all weapons taken/forced to be left behind.

💧 Everyone is armed with water balloons of their respective team color. Use them to pelt your opponents and get that flag!
🚩 Some may want to try and score big by capturing one of the ship's flags. But it won't be easy. There will be a "crew" defending their ships and will have cannons filled with giant water balloons, sticky nets, and life preserver rings to deploy against attackers. They can also use the rings to quickly grab their own teammates and pull them to safety.
⛓ There is a jail that caught opponents can be taken to right next to the ship. Either escape, help a caught teammate, or defend it!

After another night of reveling in various taverns (and likely getting into more bar fights), everyone will set sail the following morning, with or without the hangovers. Everyone should be prepared to pitch in their weight, as during the trip, they will learn how to be a deckhand, learning the literal ropes of pitching sails, swabbing decks, and working the galley. There could be other areas they might have access to if they have the skill for it. They will also have a chance to practice their magic. Don't worry, the ships are fitted with special protection that even a stray spell won't cause too much damage (though if it does, they better be prepared to repair and clean it up). And since it will take a few days to get to their respective leviathans, everyone should remember their temporary cabin number. Some may even have roommates.

But the number one rule for both ships is no fighting between members. Save it for when they're back on shore!

ELAH: PALADIN BASE

Compared to the bright colors and bustle of Eltrut, Elah is much more refined and orderly, especially the capital city of Baleen. Tall, sturdy buildings of polished marble and white coral with accents of gold and mother-of-pearl, set in tiered, orderly rings of sandstone-cobbled streets organized by purpose and class. The higher it is, the more affluent, with the Chambers of Council seated at its highest point. Yet there is very little to no poverty, as the citizens are diligent in keeping everything clean and everyone taken care of. That isn't to say there aren't "dirty" parts of the city…but for the most part it's a prosperous, bustling city that takes pride not only in its Paladin force, but in the arts and pursuit of higher education and research. High above one may see gondolas seemingly sailing in the air, but they are just riding the "breath streams'' of Elah that connect to the three blowholes spiracles lining the leviathan's back. In the distant north, one may even catch a glimpse of the main blowhole spiracle releasing a huge stream of water. Access is currently under construction, but new riftfarers will be able to access it soon.

At the center is the city's pride and joy: the Plaza Fontea. Around the outer rim are daily markets and performers to help cultivate the arts and casual business, and there are a number of gardens and ponds for visitors to relax and enjoy. And at its center is a grand mosaic in the great whale's image with a series of "water spouts" that shoot water up through the ground, sometimes to music. However, something is amiss. Without warning, the water is turning different colors and making fart noises. While anyone who might know some engineering is free to help those beneath the fountain to try and figure out what happened and repair it, others can try and catch the culprits who pulled this deplorable prank (hint, bunch of Corsairs, of course).

At the Nodding Kettle, there are some special items that new Paladins can receive. These items are also available on the Rewards Shop, but new members can choose one for free. These items are also special in that they will start at a basic level, but can be upgraded and refined for better effects (for a fee).

🔪 Dowsing Blade: Lvl 1. A short sword that once fully upgraded can find special treasures and precious metals. At level 1, it will only find junk, but who knows? One man's trash is another man's treasure. And rusted metal can still hurt in a fight—
🫧 Bubble Shield: Lvl 1. A shield that will grow in size and strength once fully upgraded and provide protection in the form of a dome. At level 1, it creates a small bubble that covers a small area next to the user and can only take a few hits before it pops.
🔦 Wayfinder Torch: Lvl 1. A torch that burns brighter and can illuminate and find any path to a designated location or exit once fully upgraded. At level 1, it can only illuminate up to a few feet and must be charged with magic to continue.

The educational district is one of the many prides and joys of Elah, and especially the block containing the sprawling, U-shaped Archives framing the massive, gold-framed glass dome of the Conservatory. The core of the Archives is a blocky building of very weathered marble, with two longer and more slender wings; nearly every room inside is dedicated to some sort of specialized library, lecture hall, laboratory, or archaeological restoration room. The Conservatory, meanwhile, is teeming with the rarest of plants, flocks of birds, skittering reptiles, and even small artificial tide pools hosting reef-dwelling fauna and small schools of fish. As new members explore the complex, they may find the new items will come in handy for their tasks.

📖 There's been intel of Corsairs targeting the Archives for their next heist, especially the special collection in the library. Newer Paladins will be asked to guard the library in shifts and keep an eye out for anyone suspicious.
🦤 Oh no, Angus the Dodo has escaped the conservatory again! Capture him and bring him back unharmed. Thankfully he's peaceful and not very smart, but he is easily startled and surprisingly fast. He's a glutton for fruit, nuts, and seeds, and he's infamous for stealing fancy hats, especially if they have feathers on them.
🏰 Reports have come in of a nearby island with ruins of an ancient castle standing on them. Venture out, document the site, and retrieve any artifacts for proper cataloging at the Archives before the Corsairs break or steal anything important.

NOGARD: CORSAIR BASE

While Eltrut and Elah both have relatively smooth surfaces to build on, Nogard's back is covered in jutting ridges and spines. Between the uneven terrain, the transformation between Nogard's living sea form and skeletal land form, and the demon-ridden forest, structures here focus much more on defense and ease of repair or relocation as needed than on matching a set theme. Buildings in Fang are made from a mishmash of old metal, driftwood, and bone, but are often decorated with bright murals and graffiti, drapes of colorful fabrics, and intricate sea glass creations. Taverns and pubs can be found on nearly every corner, loud music and cheers and more than occasionally the sounds of a brawl pouring out from about noon to the wee hours of the morning.

Currently Nogard has settled on a remote island, its skeletal structure nestled deep within the island's cove, creating a natural barrier that will only allow Corsair ships in and out. They will be there for a while, taking advantage of the beasts that inhabit the island and provide valuable materials to be sold. But of course it can get boring, so it's not surprising to see the more "reckless" ziplining from one curved rib to another high above the city. There are also some makeshift fighting arenas for members to test their strength. Those who prefer to actually learn about Nogard's current settlement set out to canvas and explore the island, hoping to find some other ruins or resources that could be useful.

At the Leviathan's Maw, there are some special items that new Corsairs can receive. These items are also available on the Rewards Shop, but new members can choose one for free. These items are also special in that they will start at a basic level, but can be upgraded and refined for better effects (for a fee).

🧥 Camouflage Cloak: Lvl 1. A cloak that once upgraded will allow the wearer to shift and blend into their surroundings. At level 1, it's a bit ratty looking and only useful if hiding in shadows. Even then it's only for a few seconds, but better than none.
🔁 Ring of Returning: Lvl 1. A ring that once upgraded will allow the wearer to return to a specific location upon activation. At level 1, it can only be used once per day and returns you to a public space.
🔀 Ring of Evasion: Lvl 1. A ring that once upgraded will allow the wearer to have increased movement speed and dodging ability. At level 1, it is only effective in avoiding small objects and getting through crowds easier. Not useful for combat until upgraded.

While there are some "respectable" stores and merchants around Nogard, the Black Market is what the city of Fang is best known for. And as part of their initiation, new members are sent to the literal underbelly of the leviathan's skeletal remains where the Black Market exists. Those new free items offered by the Leviathan's Maw may be useful…

💍 Several sellers have put up requests for certain "special rare items" to help restock their wares, but these items are "special" and "rare" for a reason. From needing to kill monsters on the island Nogard has settled on and harvesting for certain materials, to stealing from certain ships and rich houses in Elah (oops).
🏰 On a certain island, there are some castle ruins that has been recently discovered and there are some artifacts and relics that could catch a hefty price if brought back. Just ignore the Paladins who may be excavating…and perhaps take their finds.
📦 Some merchants have special wares that need to be delivered to their clients all over Nogard and on some neighboring islands. Of course, there are many others who might try to steal it…whatever is inside it. Wait—did the box just shake? What, protect the package and deliver it safely!

MANTA BOARD

As mentioned above, usually the Quest Board will be posted separately as we won't normally have logs like these. But for everyone's convenience, we've included it here for additional prompts. Players can either use the quest board here in their toplevels, or create their own open log for them if they prefer to keep it separate and spread things out more.

GENERAL

PALADINS

CORSAIRS

BOUNTIES

𝕊ℙ𝔼ℂ𝕀𝔸𝕃𝕊

» GENERAL (4pts)

Dockside Repairs

Reward: 100 dubloons and a serving of cinnamon sugar grog for each day of hard work.

A recent tempestuous storm wreaked havoc upon Eltrut’s main port, leaving many of its docks in dire need of repair.

We are seeking dedicated workers to lend a helping hand in restoring the damaged docks. We encourage those with specialized abilities in carpentry, construction, or any related field (magic, physical or otherwise) to join in the collective effort to repair the docks as soon as possible.

As we are not sure how many newcomers we will have in the future we must restore the port to its former glory, ensuring it serves as a steadfast foundation for our maritime activities! Please help out!

Seahorse Whisperers

Reward: 100 dubloons and a seahorse charm that allows you to bond with gentle sea creatures easily. Doesn’t appear to work well on the angry ones.

Atnam Island has been graced with the arrival of a spirited new batch of young seahorses.

These magnificent creatures are wild and energetic and difficult to tame. We are seeking daring individuals who are up to the challenge of calming and training these giant temperamental seahorses to become reliable and majestic mounts in the water.

Those who dare to embark on this training journey will be rewarded for their efforts. Alongside the profound satisfaction of witnessing the growth and development of these magnificent creatures, you will receive a special token of appreciation for your successful training.

Caviar Conundrum

Reward: 100 dubloons and one tin of orange lanternfish caviar. The caviar itself is said to induce vivid lucid dreams.

A fresh shipment of rare live orange lanternfish has arrived.

There are barrels of them ready to be harvested for their delicious caviar. We are looking for able hands to help collect the fish eggs from this rare fish. You’ll be equipped with the buckets and scoops needed.

However, be forewarned, for these fish are highly territorial and possess a potent electrical bite. Slowly navigating their space and avoiding their electrifying defences will require careful strategy and patience. The tales caution that even a single bite from these remarkable creatures can induce paralysis lasting an hour.

Woody Rarities

Reward: 100 dubloons and a piece of crystal wood that faintly glows when it is about to rain.

A cluster of ancient trees has piqued curiosity, as they appear to defy nature's laws by remaining dry during rainfall.

This phenomenon has caught the attention of keen observers, and we now seek crafty individuals to investigate further.

Venture to the tops of hills or mountains on Eltrut Island and examine these remarkable trees, and gather samples of their purportedly waterproof bark and wood for thorough testing. If proven true, this extraordinary property could revolutionize shipbuilding techniques and open new horizons for maritime exploration.

Bottle Voyage!

Reward: Probably some bad advice. Or a love letter. Or maybe a new friend?

Have you heard of messages in a bottle?

Embrace the sea's powerful enchantment! Pen a heartfelt letter, place it in a glass bottle and release it into the ocean's waves to see what happens.

Rumour has it that within three days, the bottle will return to you with a reply. Discover personal advice, fortunes, or messages from far away. Perhaps even find a lifelong pen pal through this method! Unleash your heartfelt words into the water and let the sea work its wonders!

Results may vary. (Optional: For added flavour attempt posting your bottle message to a random character's inbox.)

» PALADINS (4pts)

Paws of Valor

Reward: A voucher for a free dagger at The Nodding Kettle: Blacksmith and Wares.

Hello, aspiring recruits! We are in need of your assistance to gather iron ore at the local mines, a vital resource for crafting cannonballs to fortify the armada. Although the task at hand may be arduous, it is of utmost importance!

However, we must provide one gentle warning. One of our captains recently lost his pet wildcat, Whiskerbeard, and she has been left to roam freely. Whiskerbeard has a mischievous streak and enjoys playing pranks on new recruits. While she may pose a playful challenge during your ore collection, we trust that you young and agile newcomers will find ways to work around her more violent antics. Please do not harm her or your coin will be cut in half for an entire month!

Five Finger Discount-inued

Reward: The sheer satisfaction of doing the right thing.

Reports have emerged of pickpockets and thieves falling victim to a frustrated shop owner–turned–vigilante, resulting in severed fingers and a growing stain on the Paladin’s reputation for maintaining order among the various port marketplaces.

In order to address this issue and uphold the principles of justice, we need your expertise to delve into the local shops and uncover the truth behind these vigilante actions. It is crucial to identify the shop owner responsible as well as apprehend any theives and restore a sense of balance and fairness to the markets.

However, it is essential to approach this investigation with a focus on fairness and adherence to the law. Our aim is to ensure a just and lawful resolution, and a few fewer fingers being cut off, including yours.

Chasing Tuna Titans

Reward: A casket of fine wine. The bigger the fish, the bigger the casket.

The recent influx of newcomers has led to an increased demand for foodstuffs, placing a strain on our hardworking fishermen. To aid them in meeting these demands, the fishermen have requested assistance from the Paladin's vessels to catch a fresh supply of large tuna fish until new fishermen can be trained.

Join the fishing ships in procuring a bountiful supply of giant tuna fish. Be prepared for the challenge, for these magnificent creatures can grow to sizes ranging from sixty pounds to a staggering four hundred pounds. Good luck reeling them in!

» CORSAIRS (4pts)

Traded Secrets

Reward: A recipe for a dubious-looking soup made to be highly addictive and whatever else you steal from the ship.

There is a popular merchant ship that sells soup out of its main deck that is travelling the seas lately. Its tantalising flavours have ignited such fervent desire that people are willing to engage in battles and even sink ships to secure a coveted bowl. And you’ll be damned if you don’t get a bowl of it before it’s all gone! Find the secrets behind the renowned travelling ship's irresistibly delectable soup!

Surely, there has to be a trick to it. Begin by infiltrating the merchant’s ship, whether by legitimate means or through becoming a discreet passenger and find out what that secret ingredient is. What makes this soup so tantalising that people are willing to give someone a black eye to get it. Is it a frog's legs? Eye of newt? Some kind of illegal drug? Paprika?

Unconventional Couture

Reward: A silk dress of your choice and a pocket gun that can be concealed in a boot.

A renowned mistress from the lantern light district in Naughtilust seeks diverse bodies to showcase her exquisite collection of rare silks and gowns. Don’t worry, she disregards conventional standards and welcomes individuals of any body type or gender, recognizing the beauty in diversity. The more types the better, actually!

However, it is imperative to maintain utmost discretion, as these precious garments were acquired through unconventional means (they were stolen). This gathering is intended for a select group of haughty guests who will appreciate the opulence and allure of these clandestine treasures. So keep it hush-hush! There are dubloons to be squeezed!

Pickpocketing Practice

Reward: A lesson learned for every pocket picked.

With the influx of new scallywags on our shores, the Corsair ships have taken it upon themselves to impart their expertise in the art of pickpocketing. If you're ready to master the craft and enhance your acting, lying, and sleight-of-hand skills, then step forward and join their pickpocketing seminars!

Under the guidance of experienced Corsairs, you'll learn the tricks of the trade, honing your abilities to make a quick dubloon when navigating crowded streets or lively gatherings.

Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. As you venture out to test your newfound skills, exercise caution and subtlety. A successful pickpocket knows the importance of being undetected. The Corsairs will not come to your aid should you find yourself hanging around in the gallows. Or losing a few fingers.

» BOUNTIES (6pts)

Giga Mantis Shrimp

Reward: 500 dubloons.

Said to be as large as a horse with a sting as powerful as a hundred stinging jellyfish. This creature has somehow grown larger than most other mantis shrimp and it has been hunting down and eating the heads of male prey. Find this creature in the ocean and kill it before it hunts and eats more innocent sailors.

Read More.

✦ Size: Medium
✦ Type: Sea creature
✦ Strengths: Powerful pincers, Swift swimmer, Carnivorous, Stinging spines
✦ Weaknesses: Lightning, Sharp weapons, Piercing weapons

Horned Dolphin

Reward: 1000 dubloons. An extra 500 dubloons for the horn.

A rare dolphin with a strange magical glowing horn has been sighted in the ocean. Although some of the rumours are saying that the dolphin is merely a lost narwhal. It seems to only appear when the weather is foggy which makes it particularly difficult to find. Find it and record proof of its existence or kill it and farm the horn for an extra bounty.

Read More.

✦ Size: Large
✦ Type: Sea creature
✦ Strengths: Light magic, Swift swimmer, Omnivourous, Peaceful
✦ Weaknesses: Wind magic, Darkness magic, Blunt weapons

» SPECIALS (12pts)

None

Reward: None

No special quests at this time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Back to the bandages she goes, giving it another firm wrap, but he won't be able to see from where she sits how taut her face is. How tightly wound the tension in her shoulders are. How deep the furrow is in her brow. As far as she is concerned, she has been as clear as she needs to be with what she wants, and he has just been too blinded by his stupid virtue or whatever the fuck it's morphed into these days to see it—

She gives the bandages one last pull before tying it all up into a knot to secure it.]

And what is it you think I want, Cidolfus? Since you seem to know everything so well.

[All the fucking men in her life seem to think so.]

[She's been about as clear as mud as far as he's concerned.]

I don't bloody know—

[And he'll turn his upper body around so that he can now glare at her.]

—and I don't think you do, either. If you do, you make a piss poor show of it.

[Oh he has a lot of choice words he could say to her. He remembers well when she asked him that same question that night. And he remembers well nothing she said or did was honest. Everything contradicting each other to the point he couldn't tell what was real or wasn't.]

[Him turning honestly surprises her given the way that she had been staring at him, and she immediately averts her gaze the moment that they meet with the sharpest groan she can muster because here he fucking goes again...

Here he goes thinking that he knows what she’s feeling, what's on her mind, what has been on her mind since they separated that night, and all the years before that.

Even worse that he is not as wrong as she wishes he would be. There are a lot of things that Benedikta wants, but when it comes to him, it's as if it changes with every word or every look exchanged. One moment, she wants one thing and the next, she wants another and around and around it goes, always shifting like the wind.

But then again—]

You speak as if you think it's so easy...

[And now she's going to shove herself to her feet and stomp away from him to no one place in particular. Just to get away.]

You always have. You think that after leaving, you can simply walk back into my life and presume to know everything? For me to—?

[She cuts herself off there and lets the wind concentrate at her fingertips when she doesn't know what the fuck else to do with herself right now.]

Edited 2023-09-30 00:33 (UTC)

[There's only silence from his end before he sighs, a hand running over his face.]

No, you're right. It's not that easy—or simple. On that I was clearly in the wrong.

[There's not much of that earlier bite, for it's something he had thought about and realized—both while and drunk and after when he was sobered up.

Whether the idea itself was good or not, he went about it all wrong. He can see how he was too quick, too hopeful that he could change her mind. Not easily, he knew that much, but perhaps easier than he should have.]

A lot was happening and I was only thinking of myself.

[Specifically, wanting her away from Barnabas. But he just drove her right to him.]

[Something about what he says strikes her, and while she wishes that she could snipe something right back at him, to cut into him the way that he had her, she feels herself falter... not much, but just enough.

While she doesn't turn to look at him—but gods does she wish she could—he may hear it in her voice. That little speck of doubt, that question that lingers there that she doesn't dare ask out loud for fear of what the answer may be...]

Why?

[Why think of himself? What does he have to gain from it? He made his intentions perfectly clear when he had rejected her again and again, so he has no right to be selfish. Not anymore.]

[A small, hollow huff of a laugh.]

Good question. Regret, maybe? Not wanting to see it all happen again?

[Just wanting her back?

He reaches for his jacket and fumbles around his pocket, pulling out a cigar. But he doesn't light yet, just stares at it.]

I know I have no right to. But after...

[He stops himself short, and it's now that he lights that cigar, the smell of tobacco drifting upward.]

After what?

[They both have this terrible habit of not saying what it is they want to, so Benedikta won't scorn him for it lest he do the same for her.

So, she's simply going to come up with her own answer, venom bleeding into her voice.]

After you watched me die?

[Let her...]

[That surely is a sharp dagger she twists there.

But he can't really say he did much to defend her except in the end.

So there's a small stretch of silence before he answers.]

Aye.

[And just answers with that. Because that's really all there is to it. Even if he wanted to fight her, he couldn't have. That was already proven when he couldn't even fight her back at that underground chapel. The only thing he could do was stop Clive from doing anymore damage, but... She was already dead.

She might have already been gone the moment she went berserk with Garuda.]

Edited 2023-09-30 02:05 (UTC)

[The knife that he has been twisting in turn is no less sharp, and he only buries it deeper at his short answer, and then the silence that follows it.

A silence so deafening that not even the waves or the wind can drown it all out.

The fact that he could answer it so easily... it hurts. She knows well that there is not much more he can say that would console her—there is nothing that he could say that would, but that he wouldn't give her anymore than just an 'aye'?

Her fingers tighten into fists at her side, dissipating the wind that had been swirling around them.]

And so what is it that you seek for yourself? [Her hollow laugh echoes around them.] You wish to atone for it?

[He knows how that sounds, but just as he thinks, there's nothing he could say to make it any better, only worse. So as hurtful as it is, it may have been the lesser. So he thinks, anyway.

But what he seeks...hah.]

Would be a lie to say I didn't. But that's not really it, either.

[...Now they're really getting into this, aren't they. The things he tried to say that night but it all just came out wrong. Question is, can he say them even now?

...Would it be better if he didn't? Let her hate him? Or would she just obsess over that instead?]

[Good, because she was prepared to remind him that he could not. That she would not let him nor Clive Rosfield ever atone for that. Whether they regret it or not is no matter to her, so long as they never forget what they did. How much they had ruined her life with it.

Never mind the things that Cid had done before that.]

So, then? You would have me speak my mind, but what about yours, Cidolfus?

[It's a fair point, one he can't argue. But that's the problem, isn't it? He doesn't really divulge his more private thoughts...and—]

Do you really want to know?

[Said in a voice that also asks an unsaid question: does it even really matter at this point?]

[Does any of this matter at this point?

They are both too bitter, too far gone that nothing either one of them says anymore will do anything to fix the mess that they have made, and the same mess that Benedikta continues to find herself in, chained down into once again.

Which is why she gives her answer.]

I do.

[Does she, though? She doesn't know for certain if she's ready for any of it, but again, what difference does it even make?]

Edited 2023-09-30 03:32 (UTC)

[He's going to take a deep inhale, let the smoke roll around his tongue before he finally turns to face her.]

You.

[That's all he says at first, and in that moment there's that firmness and strength in his voice that carries that sincerity in it.

...But that's no secret. He made that clear on that night when things fell apart, and he knows it doesn't matter. He's done a lot of damage, just as she had inflicted on him. He knows it's not so simple, but at a time when there is so much uncertainty and doubt between them, at least he can make that intention clear.

A clarity that's about to be muddied.]

Aye, I left you when I left Waleod—but let's face it, we were already broken long before then. Even if I didn't want to give you up, nothing I did seemed to work.

And you can say you hate me all you want, but I can see that you're trying to cling to me as much as I'm trying to get you back.

[A small exhale.]

...You're a hard woman to give up, Benedikta. But after seeing what I was putting you through that night, I'm starting to wonder if I should. Just let you hate me and be done with it.

[No. She was not prepared for that answer. Nothing could have prepared her for it.

And while he had made it clear that night, hearing him say it, and hearing him say it like that only serves to press that knife deeper, twisting and twisting with every one of his words until she feels like she can no longer breathe.

And she can't—what air she had has left her lungs in that very sharp hitch of her breath.

It's true. Everything he says is the truth. She remembers the days leading up to his departure well. Hell, even the months before that when they would spend less and less time together. Her nights would instead be reserved for the king when he called upon her, and it drove a wedge between them. No matter how much she loved Cid still, Barnabas found a way to pull her back.

Loyalty. She was always loyal. She would never disobey. She couldn't because a life of obedience was all she ever knew.

But because of that, further and further they became until finally, it all fell apart. Whatever worn threads that kept them together snapped, and he was gone.

Yet still, even now, there remains one. One single thread, tattered and pulled so tight that the slightest breeze, the lightest brush could very well turn it to dust. But it is there... It always has been, and right now, she can feel him pulling, just so.

Enough that it has her looking at him with a new look. Or perhaps not new at all—one that he should recognize as the same as the last night they saw one another within the walls of Stonehyrr.

Hurt, confused, and so very conflicted...

The look of a woman torn between what she wants and what she fears...

The swell of emotions is far too great that for a moment, it looks like she might not give him an answer at all. Her eyes dart around the cove, blinking quick as she tries to fight the emotions that erupt there, and her fists tighten, nails digging into her palm now.

Before she quietly spills a single answer. Or perhaps it isn't an answer at all...]

Don't.

Edited 2023-09-30 04:53 (UTC)

[He can see the way his words hit him. That ripple of emotion he saw that night, the same reaction that gave him that burst of confidence, that drive to try and push her in a corner in ways he hadn't before.

...But it's the same emotion that drives that conflict in his heart even further. Makes him want to go to her while at the same time makes him afraid if he does it'll just break her even more. Tear her up and send her back down that confused spiral.

So even if her answer is just one word, even if he can understand—or at least he hopes he's understanding—he can only look at her with a pained expression of his own.]

Benedikta—

[It's just her name, but his voice is almost pleading. Uncertain.

She tells him "don't." And he knows what she means.

Don't give up. Don't leave me.

And by the gods he doesn't want to, but just looking at her like this—]

[Don't give up. Don't leave her. Don't make her hate him any more than she already does.

Her heart and her soul have taken so much, she cannot take any more battering and bruising. She holds her heart close, closer than she ever has before lest someone crush it all over again, and oh, how it still wishes to go to him, how she can feel it longing for it, but it's that fear that keeps it back.

They say that time heals all wounds, but this one she isn't so sure about. She has had six years to let those ones heal and they never did, and now that a new one has opened, she cannot be confident that it will ever stop.

Even less so when she hears him say her name and sees her looking at her like that.

Fuck.

She had only said one thing, and even that was too much, wasn't it?

Yet, she can't bring herself to turn away. No matter how hard her body tries to do it—to walk away, or to fly away and leave him here, her heart stays that urge.]

... What?

[He purses his lips, his own conflict clear in his eyes.

And now, with the cigar discarded in the sand, its light long since extinguished, he gets up to stand so he can properly face. He won't...step closer. Not yet.

He wants to protest. Wants to point out how much he's clearly hurting her.

But, in time, she may have a change of heart. If the both of you shared that connection before, perhaps there is room to try again. That may not be for you to decide, though. Only when she is ready.

And if she is ever ready, you must not become bitter over how long it took for her decision to arrive. Until then? You wait.]

Are you telling me to wait?

[The voices of Clive and Jill hit him hard. Six years he's waited. Six years she's waited. How much longer must they both do this damn song and dance waiting for the other?

She had told him to fight, but he tried and that also backfired so—he asks. Asks to see if he can get a better grasp of what he needs to do.]

[She nearly flinches back, like a startled little bird would at the slightest movement, when it looks like he might close that distance between them. Sure, they had been closer than this before—only moments before, truthfully, but even with the steps that would separate them, her heart feels both further and closer to his than it has in a long, long time.

And that scares her.

Terrifies her because the last time that she had let herself be this vulnerable, everything she felt was burned to the ground and scorched to ash and left her in ruins.

If she is to survive at all here, in a place where everything is the unknown, everything is unstable and unpredictable... where she knows nothing and no one...

...

In a world where the only thing she does know for certain is him.

Her eyes slowly move to connect with his, and within them, he will find her answer—the one that he so desperately seeks. She doesn't say it, and can't say it, but it's there, its meaning swimming deep in her hardened green eyes.

A silent plea...]

[He can see it, and it makes his hand clench into a tight fist.

It would be a lie to say that it wasn't frustrating, but...

...

It's something. More than he's gotten out of her so far, and while it still feels so tenuous, he'll grab onto it. Latch it close and try to endure.

Just a little more... A little more...]

...All right. But no more of these mind games and "tests." I can deal with a lot, but on that I'm not sparing any patience for.

[There. That's when her expression crumbles into a scowl, any semblance of those emotions now burned away into that fiery rage that still burns in her.

He always knows the right things to say at the right times, as well as the wrong things to say at all the wrong times.

It's impressive that he has done both within seconds of each other. She would give him credit for it, maybe even laugh, if it didn't piss her off so much.]

What do you mean, "tests"?

Edited 2023-09-30 06:15 (UTC)

[He knew it would make her scowl, but it's been a sticking point to him since that night that he wants to get this over with.]

Isn't that what it was? You kept saying I had to fight for you, and when I tried to do just that you blew it back in my face.

[Oh, it's a sticking point, alright.

A sticking point because she had been at her most vulnerable then, and again now, and he chooses to do pull this out on her.]

Yes, because you kissed me...! I'm not sure what part of that you thought was the test.

You weren't listening to anything I was saying so thought actions would work.

[...]

Which I do admit wasn't the best way to go about it. But you weren't telling me anything.

I wasn't listening to anything you were saying because it was all—

[She shakes her head, and with a frustrated wave of her hand, she shoves the rest of those words away, because that isn't what this is about. She is not going to argue about all the things he said that night—she didn't know if she could believe them, it's true. They were angry but so very grand in their meaning, and it was too much for her then.

Still too much for her now.]

If anything, I should be accusing you of being the one to test me. What did you think was going to happen, Cidolfus?

ELTRUT: FAREWELL SENDOFF

ELAH: PALADIN BASE

NOGARD: CORSAIR BASE

MANTA BOARD

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