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Welcome to the first Test Drive Meme for

escordvi! Anyone can participate in the test drive, regardless of invite eligibility. Just keep in mind that only those who have received invitations from the mods can actually reserve on August 25th and apply on September 1st. Our Interest Check can be found here.

For your toplevel, please include the following: Character Name | Canon | Armada Choice. If undecided, put "Undecided" for the Armada.

For everyone's convenience, TDM threads can be carried over in game if you wish! If you are still unsure which armada to place your character, you can play it a bit loose and vague in the TDM and make retroactive changes if you carryover the threads. We'll have more armada focused prompts in the opening log in September. The log itself is set to cover the next two weeks, until the end of the month. Characters will appear at random intervals during this time rather than all at once, so players have some more flexibility on how much more adjusted they are for someone else.

IMPORTANT REMINDER FOR MAGIC USERS!! All magic abilities will be "sealed" until characters get their tattoo from the Inkwave parlor in Eltrut. That means no magic on the starter ships before docking.

We do require TDM threads for samples for our application!

If you have any question about the TDM, comment here. If you have questions about the game in general, please comment to the Game Info.

TOPLEVEL DIRECTORY (Updated August 28)

STARTER SHIPS: ORIENTATION

There are two ships that serve as starting ships for each armada: Stormbringer for the Corsairs, and Royal Fortune for the Paladins. There are various ways new arrivals—or riftfarers as they will be called, among other creative names—will appear on or by these ships.

🚪 Random room. It could be empty, filled with crates or supplies; down in the hull where the livestock are kept; have the luck to awaken in a bed...or the misfortune of that bed already occupied; somewhere in the kitchens; in the bathroom—any room! Now let's hope the doors can open or someone may have to try and ask for help. Or jump through the porthole if there is one and it's above water.
⛵ On deck. If not in the ship itself, another possible spot to wake up to is somewhere on the maindeck. If they're lucky, they're on the deck itself. More unfortunate souls may find themselves caught in the sails or netting, the crow's nest, or on the top of the masts. Someone should be able to help, right? Or catch.
🌊 In the water. The most unlucky sods will find themselves appearing in mid-air just past the ship and plummeting straight into the water. Good news, there's always someone on the look out for such a thing and calls for help to throw a lifesaver get the rowboat will be made. Are there sharks? Well... ...Are there?

However the new riftfarers arrive, they will be poorly clothed, practically rags or loose uniforms depending on the ship. Fortunately, veteran crewmates will guide them, escorting them to a room with a strange typewriter in it. After typing their name, the typewriter will magically continue and type by itself at a fast pace until it dings and rolls out the paper. This paper will have the following information:

• Name and Shellphone ID (journalname)
• Armada (Corsair or Paladin, will match the starter ship)
• Cabin Number for their personal cabin on the starter ship
• Apartment Address for their personal address at their base armada location
• A basic map of the starting locations in Eltrut, including written directions (continued in the Eltrut section)
• A basic map of where they can find a chest with their original clothes and belongings (this will be different for every person and will be anywhere either on the starter ship or on Eltrut—players can be creative here).

After that, the crewmate will do their best to explain the basics of how they got here, what's going on, and what they'll need to do to live in Escordvi while they are here, giving them a small leather pouch with money. They will be reaching Eltrut soon, so the crewmate will suggest they look around, meet the others who have arrived. Even from their distance, they will be able to see the giant sea turtle that serves as Eltrut's leviathan.

ELTRUT: FIRST GLIMPSE

After reaching the port of Eltrut, several birdfolk will appear and happily greet all the new arrivals from both starter ships. Here it doesn't matter which side they are affiliated with, as long as they keep those swords and weapons sheathed and not pointed at each other's throats. The birdfolk will even act as guides, showing them the main places they should visit and give them a visitor's map to help guide them.

🐚 Microshell. The first stop that is encouraged will be Microshell, the main store to acquire their own personal Shellphone. The paper they received on their starter ship will have their ID and the staff at the store will set them up, explaining how the device and the network works.
✒️ Inkwave, Tattoo Parlor. The next stop is Inkwave, a tattoo parlor run by a very burly but friendly octopus, Knistej. Here everyone receives their own unique magic tattoo, allowing anyone to cast specific single element spells and other magic. Note: tattoos are required before anyone will be able to use their original magical abilities.
📜 MANTA office. The final stop is the MANTA office, where all the request, mission, and task notices are posted. Each armada has their own branch office for armada specific notices as well. A great place to find jobs to earn some cash so they don't stay a hobo forever.

It's a lot to take in for sure, with the port city bustling with all walks of life. Not only do they have both armadas mingling with each other, there are different races and species from all over Escordvi gathered here. It's not just humans, which many riftfarers always seem to be surprised about. There are also plenty of veteran riftfarers who will gladly give some advice and even share stories of their world. Maybe some are familiar.

After finding their belongings, exploring the town, and meeting other people, being able to just sit back and enjoy a drink and warm meal will be in order. While there are plenty of places to choose from, the Minstrel and Cask will be the top recommended tavern for all newcomers to visit at least once. Great drinks, great food, and can learn a lot from the patrons or meet more people.

Of course, as expected of a highly popular tavern, it's not always peaceful. A man will ask travelers what they want to do with their life. Clearly drunk, he only accepts answers that hint at wanting to find riches. If told this he will give out a treasure map. But if told anything else, he'll put up a fight, hoping to deliver a black eye. Those who do receive the map will be sorely disappointed—it will lead them down a long, winding, circuitous path around town and end at a random outhouse, likely occupied and certainly stinking to high heavens. There's likely some kind of moral here, but at some point, others who have been duped will return to the tavern to sling their fists around.

Looks like another tavern brawl for the night.

QUESTS

For those who want to try their hand at some quests, there are a few that would do well for newcomers. Teaming up is of course encouraged, no matter what the affiliation. You can assume they acquired some kind of ship for the quests out at sea, either the starter ship or some other ship heading out there.

Spicy Squid Eating Challenge

Eltrut Port

There is a traveling food ship (think food truck but on the water) that has been going around challenging ships to their extraordinary Hornswaggle's Spicy Squid Eating Challenge. If participants can scarf down a prepared three-pound bowl of exceptionally spicy ghost pepper squid and rice, they will win their meal for free as well as a crate of dried spicy squid for their ship's stores. If participants fail, they will have to pay for the meal and the crate.

...Careful, are some of the squid tentacles still moving?

Coral Reef Snacks

Eltrut

Rumour has it that certain types of coral reefs contain unique properties that can make you more alluring to the one you desire, but no one is sure what the side effects are. Test this out by trying to crunch into chunks of coral reef pieces to see if there are any added effects on your body. Hopefully, they don't ruin your teeth in the meantime.

Oh, and you have to find the correct coral reef too! Red chunks seem to make you more affectionate towards others, while blue chunks seem to make you more volatile towards others. Eaters, beware!

Giant Sea Slugs

Starter Ships

Giant sea slugs tend to only attack ships if they feel threatened but are otherwise peaceful creatures. They're about the size of a large wild cat. They also secrete a slime that contains strong disinfectant properties. This thick slime is highly sought after for its ability to heal wounds cleanly, so kill them and collect as much slime as possible.

Killer Sharkgulls

Eltrut port and ships

Seagulls can be a pain to most ships. Yet, seagulls that have evolved to be violently carnivorous can be even worse. These new birds, effectively named sharkgulls, have been seen attacking ships and ports alike. They are big enough to eat small children in one gulp or will do their best to eat full-grown humans after they've ripped them to bite-sized shreds. Beware and kill them before they can kill you!

Siren's Serenade

Out at Sea

A merchant's ship has crashed upon an outcropping of rocks after being lured in by a group of rogue sirens. These captivating creatures possess the power to ensnare their prey with their enchanting voices, luring unsuspecting souls into the depths to meet the grim fate of drowning.

Search for the missing ship and help rescue the captive sailors before it's too late! You will be supplied with special earplugs to muffle out the siren's voices so be careful to keep your ears effectively plugged. You don't want to succumb to the siren's bloodlust yourself.

Any sailors or rescuers affected by the siren's song can be treated with a harpy's potion that can reverse the song's effect. Or tie up the afflicted for twenty-four hours to wait out the effects.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And I would so hate to leave you wondering.

[ He knows he's handsome, or, at least, that's the lie he's been telling himself for two hundred years and it seems that fake it til you make it does indeed work! It is a rather malicious irony that this man "finally" gets to see him when he has not seen his own reflection in so long. ]

The colors were well worth the wait. I'd be tempted to follow you back to the Underdark just to see them standing out amongst the drab darkness.

[ The Underdark was so boring. And dark? Did he mention dark? Yes, yes, that irony is not lost on him either. ]

I'm glad I could make an impression. [ a soft, almost coy smile. As if he's embarrassed, to be seen for who he is, and to be acknowledged. ] You're hardly rambling. I've grown quite fond of your voice already, in the short time we've had together. I wouldn't mind a drink to bask in it awhile longer.

I'd invite you to, but sadly my kin would be somewhat less than hospitable to any guests. Their loss, really, they are utterly incapable of enjoying anything worthwhile.

[With the heavy implication that Astarion was most certainly what he'd consider to be worthwhile. He practically stopped just short of stating it aloud, his tone no less warm and personable than it had been when they first met.]

Besides, the light here does it far more justice than the dim glow of the Underdark. If you would like however, I'll crash a funeral and it'll be roughly the same aesthetic.

[He chuckles, beckoning towards the bar. The motion causes the bangles on his wrists to rattle and the various necklaces to gently clink together. A keen eye might just catch a somewhat alarming fact, if they were to linger long on the drow's outrageous attire; the man was a walking arsenal. Every little glint and gleam another potential weapon or enchanted piece of jewelry, to say nothing of the obvious daggers tucked into the brigand's silk sash.]

Flattery will get you everywhere. Whatever strikes your fancy, I'll see to it that you receive. In return, I'll only ask to know more about you. After all, you're the only man I've met from home, and that makes us as good as fond friends in a place like this, and you strike me as a terribly interesting person.

Ooh, now there's a thought!

[ Funeral crashing that is! Can't spell "funeral" without "fun." Astarion would know. ]

I could find something even more ostentatious than this. Maybe something in bright red? [ blood red. ] We'd make quite the couple.

[ Is this how normal people flirt? My goodness. ]

That seems a fair enough trade, although I'm not sure I have much to share. I may be more bark than bite.

[ ha ha ha he is SO FUNNY ]

I'll have a red wine. Something slightly better than whatever is their house choice, preferably. [ He says it like a man of tastes, as if he'd rather drink water than bad wine. ] And as for me...

[ He takes a deep breath, like he's considering what there is to tell. ]

I'm a magistrate, which mostly consists of reading writs over petty squabbles. Better that we have some sense of law and order, I suppose, but some days it doesn't seem like the city is any better off for it. Coin is coin, though.

[ For a moment, he considers, should he tell him about the mindflayer? Would anyone even fucking believe him if he said he somehow escaped a ship and was running around without sprouting tentacles? And how that wasn't even the weirdest part, once he'd joined Tav's little merry band of misfits? ]

I've lived in Baldur's Gate all my life, but I've had the...opportunity to see more of Faerun, lately.

[The eagerness at the idea of crashing a funeral was enough to get the drow to almost cackle, the laughter bright and cheerful in direct opposition to the idea of ruining some poor fucker's last rites.]

You'd be quite handsome in red, I'd say! After all, you've such striking eyes, I'd imagine an entire sanguine outfit would only highlight the rest of your attractive features. I'd almost think the color was made just for you, were I to be honest. Snow white and blood red with pitch black and prismatic shades? I almost wish there was a funeral to attend right now.

[He rested his cheek upon his knuckles, elbow propped on the bar, as Astarion gave him the general idea of his life. Oddly dry, for someone who seemed so interesting. It only made him more so, a bit like peering at a suspiciously smooth chunk of stone in an otherwise non-descript wall. Of course he seized upon the opening he was given as Astarion spoke of this opportunity.]

Have you? Sounds as if this opportunity might be a bit more exciting than the life of a magistrate within the walls of Baldur's Gate. I'm a bit of an adventurer myself, you see, I'm eager to hear what you might have stumbled upon during this opportunity of yours.

[He made no mention of the daggers at Astarion's hip, if only because he could think of a few excellent excuses as to why a man of money, who's job was money, to be well armed. Too easy a question, anyone could answer that one.]

[ Some part of him longs, desperately, to ask Jarlaxle to keep going. To tell him more about his "attractive features" and what the color of his eyes look like against his pale skin. Does his hair look as nice as he hopes, or is it all out of place? Does the shock of white just make him look even more inhuman, or is it acceptable?

On some level he knows, of course, that he is attractive. He wouldn't be able to do what he does if he wasn't. But there's always that lingering worry. And hearing Jarlaxle talk, he feels like a parched man in the desert, finally offered water.

Or perhaps, more aptly, like a parched vampire in a sea of very much alive humans that he's willing himself not to drink from.

"Sanguine" and "blood red" indeed. ]

Well, it is something of an adventure, certainly! There are even goblins involved. And after we slayed our way through a goblin's camp, we [ the way he says "we" sounds like "decidedly not me" ] had the brilliant idea of feather falling our way down to the Underdark. I didn't meet any of your kin, though. It was mostly...mushrooms?

[He'd have obliged of course, though to be sure the request may have spurred some more questions, ones that Astarion might not like to answer, all things considered. The drow wasn't lying, however, when he called the other man attractive. No reason to pull out the old performance check for that one, just the same as he didn't need to pretend to be interested in Astarion's story.]

A magistrate slaying his way through goblins? You're a man of many talents, I see.

[A money man carrying weapons was one thing. A money man murdering his way through a band of goblins was entirely another, with or without help. Which it seemed was the case, 'we' was it?]

Not all the Underdark is the same, just as the world above. Mushrooms hardly seems out of the ordinary, especially if you happen to be close to a Myconid circle. Be wary about what you reach for there, lest it be sentient. Or explosive.

Hah! I certainly knew better than to put my hands on just anything. Apparently not everyone in our little party felt the same sense of self-preservation.

[ rip stop walking through the exploding mushrooms you absolute idiots ]

I'm handy with locks. I think that's why they keep me around. A pity really, when I could just stay back at camp and look pretty instead.

'How could I resist touching the pretty glowing mushroom' types hm? Make sure you stand about twenty feet back or so before you suggest they avoid it. They won't listen but at least you'll have the satisfaction of saying 'I told you so'.

Just handy with locks? From what I could gather from the comment about the goblin camp, you might be handy at a few more things than just lock picking.

Maybe so.

[ he leans a little closer like he might just tell this terrible juicy secret of how good he is in battle and how it is he came to be so well acquainted with knives. Close enough to be intimate, surely. To build anticipation. ]

One does what one must. But that's quite enough about me! I've heard hardly anything about you, you've let me ramble on so.

Edited 2023-08-21 19:36 (UTC)

[Ah, he had him for a moment there. He leaned in, actually quite eager to hear more... Only to be left wanting. He paused for a moment, appearing to be genuinely surprised, before a burst of laughter overtook him.]

Tease! Ah, I can't fault that, always leave them wishing for more. You may keep your secrets then, but I can't promise I won't pry, pry again later.

If I were to speak of all I've done and am doing, this would turn into a lecture rather than leisure, but I'll pick out a few highlights. I'm a leader of a band of mercenaries within Menzoberranzan. Many are my accomplishments and long are my stories, less of which end in gore and carnage you'd be surprised to hear. At the time I arrived here I'd been well into a bit of personal business, traveling with a dear partner of mine to Vaasa.

Chilly, yes, but well worth the trip, considering the wealth of resources there.

[ just as planned!

Astarion listens in kind. It is interesting, if sparse on specifics. Not that he could complain after his cagey story. ]

That's a long way from home. What made you decide to leave?

[ Other than it being dank and dark and dreary. He's good with never visiting the Underdark again. He'll take sleeping in a coffin to avoid sun instead. ]

[Sure, Astarion hadn't seemed to recognize the name Jarlaxle had given him, and for all the drow knew, the man had no inkling at all about Bregan D'aerthe or what their full reputation was. But for the present moment, just slinging finer details around seemed like an ill advised idea.

And he so wanted to brag a little too...]

Other than it being depressing? There's a thousand different reasons why a male might see fit to leave Menzoberranzan, should he have the nerve to do it. I've the means to do so, in whatever way I see fit. Why not indulge in a little hard earned freedom?

[ don't you worry he'll roll that insight check again later.

For now though, he thinks wistfully about the idea of freedom. How sweet it sounds on Jarlaxle's lips. And if his hand happens to move closer along the bar towards him, like a physical longing for the very idea of it, never you mind that! ]

I'm a little ignorant when it comes to Drow politics, I'm afraid. [ he could've just said "I'm a high elf" and that would've gotten us to the same place really. ] But I'm glad you could find your way out, all the same.

[Astarion's hands move closer, and Jarlaxle shifts. The movement is subtle, but it puts the drow just a little closer to the other man, the motion easy and inviting.]

Most drow males are... necessary, of course. In their own way. But their positions are limited, to put it lightly. There are expectations had of them, with dire consequences if one fails to meet them or worse, openly defies the Matriarch's wishes, or the wishes of any other female. Or higher ranking male, for that matter.

[He was using soft language to paint a rather grim, discomforting picture, but being direct wasn't really going to do much. The other man struck him as more than clever enough to sharpen and clarify all those words on his own.]

One has two purposes if they make the poor decision to be born male in Menzoberranzan; battle and breeding. If you cannot do either, then you're simply no good.

[ Yeah, Astarion is more than capable of putting it together. He's got it before the last paragraph, his imagination all too willing to provide extra details on the nature of these consequences.

After all, Astarion knows plenty about consequences.

But he's already been sentimental enough, at least by his measure. And there's no reason to dig up the past. ]

What a waste of perfectly good men.

[ Yup that's all he's got for that one. ]

It is. Highly unfortunate and a complete waste of skill. And it leads to a great deal of men seeking shelter. Men that, while their former houses might have not seen much use for them, I do. If some young priestess or new Matriarch wants to throw out a perfectly good psionicist or assassin for any stupid reason, my merry little band is more than happy to welcome them in.

They get a measure of safety and freedom that would have normally been denied them, and I get a few more blades for hire on my employee directory. Only a fool would try to bring arms against anyone who bears my emblem in the Underdark.

So, you're basically a folk hero, is what you're saying. I'll have to ask my bard if they know any ballads about you.

[SURE. Sure he is! He's not going to tell him no! He wished Artemis was there for the moment just so he could listen to the assassin sputter into his drink to hear Jarlaxle be called a folk hero. His expression brightened, ruby eyes alight with delight at the entire idea of it all.

Hey, he could be a lot worse. As far as the drow go, maybe it's not that far off the mark, right?]

Oh you'll have to tell me if they do! I'll admit I can be a very vain man, I'd love to hear any ballads written about me.

You never did tell me what you were doing in that goblin camp, by the way.

No one could fault you for that.

[ Ah, yes, the Goblin camp. Right. ]

Well, to be honest...I'm not sure you'd believe me, if I told you. I wouldn't believe myself, were I sitting in your position.

You might be surprised at just what I'm willing to believe. I've seen a great deal in my travels after all, at this point I think I'd be about ready to believe anything possible.

[ Astarion looks down at his untouched glass of wine and thinks about this for a long moment. This is such a weird tale to tell!! How do his other party members just march up to people and say it all willy-nilly! Why is everyone so forthcoming! ]

This tale starts with a mindflayer.

[Still all the alcohol left in that glass too, huh? Interesting.]

Already, you've painted a harrowing picture for me. What dealings had you with a mindflayer?

[ he would slight of hand but like...what if he fails and gets caught tossing it over his shoulder. or worse what if he gets a nat 1 and throws it all over his one good shirt. the dice don't always roll in our favor. ]

I was taken by one. A nautiloid passed through the city, and I got [ he shrugs, his voice a little hollow: ] lucky.

I was infected, days ago. [ No ceremorphosis. No teeth. No tentacles. All of his skin still on his body. ] We were told that there was someone--well, multiple someones really, depending on who we wanted to deal with--in the camp who could remove the tadpole. That turned out to be wishful thinking. The goblins were infected too, only, in their infection they were much more subservient. They prayed to a god called the "Absolute," and wanted us to join their cult. We politely declined, and then we had to have a good natured conversation about it at the end of our blades.

[Now that was a lot to take in. Of course, as Astarion mentioned being infected, the drow's gaze flicked up and down him again, more searching this time. And of course, he'd find absolutely nothing.

But most people would barely know a nautiloid ship when they saw one, let alone the name of it. Most anyone who knew of mindflayers though would know of the inevitable consequences of infection, and just how quickly it occurred. Astarion should be... well, a lot less handsome right now, and a lot less personable, to put it lightly.]

And the goblins, being so happily infected, would never see a reason to help remove what they'd assume to be the blessing of their god. The Absolute... I've only heard but whispers of that name. A cult, that's enticed away a number of drow from the worship of Lolth. If it's powerful enough to shake a Lolth worshipper from their Dark Mother...

Almost funny to write it all off as brain worms and be correct about it this time.

[Never mind the dark joke though, more importantly-]

I see no reason not to believe you. A fine bit of trouble you've managed to find yourself in. What they never really remember to tell you about matters of luck is that 'shitty' luck also exists, I'm afraid. But at least you still have your mind about you, and no tentacles besides. I'd hesitate to think of how a goblin might remove a mindflayer parasite anyway, perhaps it was for the best that this didn't pan out.

Not all the leads were goblins at least. We recused a druid from the Emerald Enclave. He seemed promising, as a healer, but even this was beyond his ken.

[ At least he's damn fine to look at in camp so like, Astarion can't complain too much on that front. ]

I'm not surprised to hear about the Absolute's reach. A drow was one of the goblin's leaders, though we didn't exactly stop to chat about her beliefs prior to the whole cult thing.

[ But they did steal her sweet, sweet armor which fit Astarion like a charm! Sorry girl but those bonuses are (chef's kiss).] ]

And so now we are searching for a cure and, I suppose, trying to save the realms from the Absolute. I don't know. It all seems rather grandiose. And we keep stopping every five minutes to assist random strangers! At this rate, we'll likely die before we ever see the end of this business. Alone and in some unmarked grave because we tried to deliver a bloody letter.

STARTER SHIPS: ORIENTATION

ELTRUT: FIRST GLIMPSE

QUESTS

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