escordvi | closed ⚡🪶 and forevermore, i'll be chasing the storm we had.

[As if that is all she needs, that guilt-ridden look shifts to pure lust as he takes her again, a growl of her own when he nips at her lip. Her hips jerk against his, the motion bringing them closer together, and it only serves to heighten the ache there when she feels him.

If he wants it, then who is she to deny him that when she wants it just as much? When she has needed that release since they first kissed tonight here in his bed? Perhaps even more that. These emotions need someplace to go, and there is only one way to free them. One way for them...

With a soft moan into the kiss, her hand presses firmly to his chest, nudging him to lie down.]

...Let me take care of you, then.

[There's a low laugh, a quirk of his lips as he lowers himself—

Only to flinch and grimace because damn wound.]

Edited 2024-02-01 02:09 (UTC)

[Annnnd moment ruined.

With a frustrated growl, Benedikta sits up over him and just stares down at him. Very. Pointedly.

She told you so.]

[Don't look at him like that.

Just makes him want to rebel even more—]

Could try kissing it better.

[Smirk.]

[Nope. She's looking at him like that regardless of if he rebels... except she just gives a mighty roll of her eyes at him, biting back that smirk and snort that threaten to break her.]

I doubt that will do much of anything.

[And going to give it a little poke again, just to make her point, but that frustration is clear in her eyes, and how they still rake over his body.]

Shallow as it is, you need to get that healed properly first.

Don't know, would make me feel better.

[But at her poke and words, he grits his teeth and pushes himself back up again.]

But forget it, would take too long.

[And it's then that he places his hand over the bandages, brows furrowed in concentration as she'll feel his aether gathering into his hand.]

[Now who's the impatient one?? She will kiss it better after, don't worry—

But when he brings his hand to the bandage, and she feels that aether concentrating in that small spot, she arches her brow, curiosity replacing the scornful stare.]

What are you doing?

Always wondered how I could get back up after a beating, didn't you?

[Not just at the Caer, but even before then, when he would have suffered devastating injuries and somehow still be able to stand up after some time none the worse for wear. Most just chalked it up to him Dominant, and in some respects that was true.

After flashing her a wry grin, he then grits his teeth and grunts as he pushes out his aether, his levin crackling and sparking around him as she'll also see the glow from beneath the bandages. It takes a few moments until he lets out a breath, the aether dissipating.]

Though—[A wince as he shakes his wrist.] First time I did it that way.

[She watches with both awe and interest, marveling at the violet glow that flickers around the bandages, that that fills the space between them so familiar and even comforting. Though this does answer that question of how he always managed to get back up, it only sprouts several more questions. Namely, how?

She takes his wrist when he shakes it, her fingers grazing over the skin of his forearm as if she's searching for something... or rather, making sure that there isn't something there.]

You use your aether to heal...

[A rough laugh and rueful smile as he watches her, knowing well what she's looking for.]

To be honest, most of the time it wasn't by choice... It's more of a passive thing.

[A rough shrug.]

All I had to do was just rest for a while and my body would mostly heal itself. Would still need to get checked, but that's how I managed.

[Also likely what helped kill him, ironically.

He stares at his hand with her, flexing his fingers.]

Never used it directly like that before. Had theories about it, how my lightning could potentially mend my wounds since it already was, but was warned not to due to the curse.

[By the time he talked it over with Tarja, it had progressed so far that doing something more active like this would be more detrimental.]

[Her hand runs over his, up and down in slow, idle motions, as she watches him flex his fingers. She remembers the earlier stages of it being there not long before he left Waloed, those little flecks of white stone starting to creep over his arm. It's more than a relief to see that it's gone here, but she would be lying if she said she didn't feel a spike of panic just now, especially when he'd wrung his hand.

She doesn't want to think about it though, and her expression crumples into a light furrow while she focuses on the bandage instead.]

... Is it feeling better?

[Her free hand reaches out for it, but stops just short, hesitating.]

[It's such an ingrained habit of his to reflexively flex and shake his wrist despite no longer having an ache or the stiffness. However, he knows better than anyone to not overuse his aether, with or without the help of the tattoo.

...But some situations are worth the sacrifice, this being one—

At her inquiry, he does a testing twist. Hm.]

It'll be sore for a while still, but it feels closed over.

[A glance at her.]

...If you could do the honors?

[Sore... Her eyes move up to his at that, but.]

Stop me if it hurts.

[Tender fingers grip the tape that holds it on, and she peels it back slowly, her other one coming down to press her palm to his side, thumb rubbing soothing circles over his skin as she removes it.]

[Now he's just grimacing because of the adhesive pulling away at his skin. These bandages were certainly leagues better than the ones back in their world, something Tarja would have marveled about, but they did have the downside. But once the initial tape is off, the rest falls easily, and beneath they will find a fresh new scar where the once open cut used to be with blood only remaining on the bandage itself.]

Hm, seems to have done the trick.

Cidolfus...

[His name falls out of her in pure marvel, her eyes going wide as she runs her fingers gingerly over the newly healed scar. It is impressive, to say the least, and that does explain quite a bit...

But after a moment of admiring his work, she shoots him a stern look.]

This does not mean you can get yourself hurt again.

[He grins a little at her touch before his eyes widen a little and he laughs, holding his hands up as if to placate and surrender.]

Hey, it's not like I like getting hurt. Wouldn't want to do this too much, either.

No...

[Now that she's sure that he's feeling a little better, she wraps her arms around his shoulders, her forehead back against his, and she gives her hips a little testing roll.]

... but you do have a knack for getting yourself into trouble that I am personally not fond of.

[There's a more pleased smile when she rolls her hips against him, and he responds by placing his hands on her hips, pulling her further up against him as he brushes his lips against hers.]

Well...maybe if you convince me to stay out of it, I will.

[And then sudden, shove to push her back so that he's now looming over her.]

But you'll have to try hard.

[She falls all the way onto her back, the mattress shifting under the weight as the longer strands of her hair fan out beneath her. Honestly, she was content with simply lying in bed with him, letting herself feel his arms around her while she worked through the thoughts she suffered with. Still suffers with...

Was.

But after these new discoveries, this step forward, it's hard not to be overcome with emotions like this. Ones that have her heart skipping beats as he looms above her looking like the god that he is. Ones that have her face flushed and her eyes burning with the threat of tears. Ones that make the ache in her chest run deeper, burn hotter. It's not as if she realized for the first time that she loves him, but she has realized just how much she does. How much she needs him.

How much she needed him back then...

They may never heal from these new regrets that they bear together. Learning that she had missed so many opportunities before, that he had waited and waited for her when she never came because she didn't even know... Learning that he still loved her the way she did him...

Yes, it's hard not to want to make up for that, too.

So, she reaches up to card her fingers through his hair and pull him down towards her, close enough that their lips only just touch.]

Well, I can certainly think of other knacks to practice instead...

Well then.

[A low laugh as his hands run up her sides, pushing up his shirt on her.]

Let's get to practicing.

[And just before his lips fully take hers, there is a soft light in his eyes, a tenderness behind that smirk, that smile. One that only grows as they finally are able to convey the depths of their feelings where words cannot.

While things may start tender and affectionate, once again, they will be caught in a passionate union fueled by the torrent of emotions that continue to embroil them. Each touch, kiss, and bite carry that desperate heated fervor they share, and each breath, moan, sigh, and cry plead for it to never end. He had thought what had passed during the hot springs would be their most intense yet, but no—it would be this. Because here, now, the truth has finally been revealed to them. A sad, devastating truth that makes them only more desperate to make up for it. To make up for the time unfairly stolen from them.

And maybe they will never be able to make up for it. Maybe they will never get that time back. Maybe they will always grieve over what could have been, always long for a life that should have been theirs. But if there is one thing Cid has learned in his long if cut too short life, it's that while one can grieve, one cannot stay in that grief. That he has to move forward and grasp what future there is left before even that is lost forever.

So that is the new, silent vow he makes as he holds her tight beneath him, a promise that dangles from her neck as he supports her above him, an oath sealed between each crash of their lips and rock of their hips. Whatever lingering soreness or ache from his wound is numbed by the one that erupts from his heart as everything flows out anew along with the dizzying overwhelming pleasure they grant each other, that bliss that could take them at least momentarily away from the depths of that pain.

A vow that whatever happens, he won't let them be shackled to their past no longer. It will never be forgotten, but it will just be shadow that they will continue to walk further and further away from, stretch it out until it's but a speck and the brilliant light of their future casts new shadows that fold it up and cradle it to carry along instead. To let that shadow finally heal and rest and have its own peace.

And it will be during one of their many heights, when she's still lost soaring high and has yet to come back down that he will pull back just enough to stare into her clouded, reddened amber eyes, her faced flushed and skin glistening, lips so red and bruised as they part for each cry and gasping breath. And yet, it is the loveliest most beautiful sight, especially when he can feel the difference between tonight and all their other shared nights. A night where their hearts have finally, truly connected and not fearing it will run away and never look back.

So while he doesn't need to—]

Benna.

[—he feels compelled to.]

I love you.

[Compelled to once more make it clear of what he thinks, what he feels for her. What he's always felt, no matter how small it had faded, no matter how torn up and covered by that veneer of anger and hate that has now faded into dust. And he doesn't even expect her to say it back—he's noticed how she's faltered in the past, how he could guess then and especially now. He would truly be a blind fool to not notice.

So where she can't, he'll do it for them. Say it over and over and over again. Until she's finally ready.]

Edited 2024-02-01 15:59 (UTC)

[Beyond her own smile, there is a sadness that swims within her eyes, but it turns to embers when his lips finally take hers for that final time before he pulls her down with him into the depths of their storm.

She had spent a long time thinking tonight. Not just about the woman running away on that boat, but of her own past. It was that mission that sent her spiraling into it, losing herself in the what ifs. Images of that life that she could have had painted themselves in her head, so beautiful and yet so far away out of her reach. If he had just taken her with him, if he had pushed a little harder to save her, if she had listened to him, if she had taken his hand when he tried to reach out for her... would they be here now? Or would she be gliding into his arms in this castle he'd built for himself that she wishes now that she could have seen? Would things have ended the same way for her? ... For them?

Those wounds cut deep, and they have been reopened fresh tonight, made deeper only by the lies they discovered they were fed. That rift that had come between them was not entirely of their own making, but they had been too blinded by their own ideals to see it. If they had, maybe then it wouldn't have been too late to save them. Maybe then...

She knows she should not get caught up in that. If she is to heal from those wounds, turn them into nothing but scars that she bears with all the others, then she needs to move forward. With his hand holding hers, they need to carry with them the pains and the hurts. They can't simply leave them behind, nor can they forget, because it was never going to be that easy. When one has had a knife driven through them, the pain of pulling it out is as great as the pain one had to bear when it struck. She may ache, she may bleed again, but at least she can be sure that she won't be alone when she does.

She can be certain that he will be there to guide her through it, with every vow that he carves into her with his hands, his lips, his body...

It will be a long and difficult road ahead, to be sure, but so long as they walk it together...

As passionate and heated as tonight may be, there is a fury that edges every single touch of her own. A rage that simmers beneath her skin, one that burns the vey aether that makes her. That they had so much taken from them—their past and a future—makes her nails rake over his skin, further pushes her into her descent of a heated, maddening frenzy, etching herself into him, spreading into his soul as much as he does hers, to make up for every lost moment until the only thing he remembers is the way she cries out for him.

Until they both can forget the pain, the anguish, and all they can remember of each other is the rock of their bodies together, that newly spun thread that connects their hearts, and the eternal bliss that it brings.

Even if just for tonight.

The way he stares down at her is as devastating as the high that he's pushed her to. Just when she feels as though she might burst into the aether that boils within her, pressing at her seams, when she feels like she could soar forever, that look in his eyes makes her come crashing down. Tears erupt in her own when she catches that love that presses down on her chest like an anchor. It's too much and not enough all in the same breath.

Then he goes and says that...

I love you.

And she swears that she might just leave this world. Her body trembles under his, those aftershocks that still ripple through her threaten to shatter her, and only when she finally comes down from it does her head clear, and she can form some semblance of thought that isn't just the way he fills her, of the feel of his weight pressed over her.

Her vision clouds, her eyes burn. Her chest aches and her heart slams against the confines of her chest. Her hand trembles as it moves to his face, using what little strength he's left her with to touch him, to revere him like he is her god that she adores and worships, and she his only subject. She wants to memorize every detail of this moment, every little piece right down to the way his lips feel, how his eyes spark with the depths of his feelings for her.

Depths she has gotten lost in so many times before, but tonight, she means to drown.

Her lips part.]

...Cidolfus, I...

[Yet, on the inside, a fear strikes her like lightning because the last time she had thought to say it, he was taken from her. Fate and the gods saw to it that she would never get the chance. A punishment, perhaps, for not being able to be true with him. With herself. A punishment for ever doubting him...

And only a shaky breath comes.]

[He can feel it in her touch, see it in her eyes. He doesn't know what she's still afraid of, but at the very least he had the confidence it's not him anymore. At least, not as much as before. They've come a long way for him to better understand how she is, and while it is a little disappointing that he may not hear it, it all just means he has to continue to help her until she can.

Because then it will mean they have finally crossed that rift.]

It's all right.

[A soft whisper as he first kisses her fingertips before moving to her lips.]

I know.

[A soft kiss as his own hand cups her cheek, thumb moving to brush away those tears.]

Just keep saying my name, just like that.

[Keep calling him, keep crying for him, and let him hear how much she wants and loves him through his name. That will be enough for now.]

[Brush those tears away all he likes, they will still fall.

That particular wound is still too deep. Though she cannot bring herself to say it aloud still, she means it with all her heart in the way she does say his name, does touch him, in how she kisses him and looks at him. She regrets that she can't, more than anything. Perhaps even more than what she does feel for him. It hurts, it makes her wish she could fly away right now so he wouldn't have to look at her in all her ugly shame, so he wouldn't see how little she really, truly deserves him...

Her chest heaves with a fought sob. He knows. He knows that she does. He hasn't pushed her away, nor has he turned his back to her. That must count for something, right? So long as he can see it and feel it, then maybe that means that the world is not so cruel...

She shudders when he kisses her, that emotion swelling again until she can hardly stand it again. Her arms secure themselves around his shoulders, locking him to her, as she rocks her hips under his, saying his name again.]

Cidolfus...

[I love you.

And again.

I don't deserve you.

And again.

Please don't leave me again.

Just like that, as the tears stain his cheeks, too, her lips quivering against his between each one.

Never before has she felt anything so strongly. Not the admiration or the love she had for him when they shared their first moment together. Not the hate and the fury she harboured in those six long years. Nor the anguish in her final moments. Not even the relief and the fear when she saw him again for the first time in this world as he caught her in his arms. Never before has she felt anything so beautiful, so consuming, and so terrifying...

Something that she clings to with all her might so that she may never lose it again.]

[There's that ache, a twist in his chest as he sees her fall apart and become undone by the weight of it all, and he hears those silent messages, each one piercing his heart until it's completely wrapped by those chains. Yet they are ones he wears willingly, for this would be his burden, his punishment. To have to bear the pain he helped cause.

He meets each of her movements with her own and soon he, too, whispers her name.]

Benna...

Benedikta...

[Several times tonight he felt that burn in his eyes, but it will only be now as he has to listen to her crying out his name will they finally flow out, those long repressed tears mixing with hers as he kisses her desperately, body crashing roughly against hers as if to strike her at her deepest.]

I'm never letting you go again.

[A hoarse whisper, an ardent promise before they're consumed by a more feverish, desperate pitch.]

[It is utter madness that he drives her to. A madness consumed by her love for him—one that has rooted itself, made a home in her, and then festered for so long. It beckons a side of her that only he will ever lay eyes upon, a side that only his heart will ever know. Her best-kept secret, and he knows it all in every painstaking detail.

To new heights they go, and new heights they come crashing down from, tonight a stark contrast to every other time they have shared together. While this one is coloured by their past, it is also shaped by a new future that they intend to seek out together. A future that they will search for and find and work towards together.

They continue that feverish, desperate pitch until their bodies are completely spent, their emotions at a high they have never been, and their names have been written into every inch of each other. Into the stars that line the skies, into the air that they breathe... Until there is no escape anymore.

It's Benedikta who dozes off first, and she has no idea when it happened or how. She'd been in the middle of kissing him softly when she felt the sleep take over her, those kisses turning into lazy presses of her lips before she eventually fell to his shoulder to rest. Wrapped up completely in his warmth, it is the first night in a long, long time where it is completely dreamless, not a thought in sight in this blissful, happy place she's found herself in.

Happy...

What a foreign concept.

Even stranger that she doesn't fear it will be gone come morning.

And that much is proven to be true when she does wake up finally, muttering his name and blinking her eyes open against the late morning sun to find him still there with her...]

Edited 2024-02-01 17:38 (UTC)

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✨ timeskip to the morning after ✨