escordvi | closed 🪶⚡ i'll be the light to lead you home

[As if to help alleviate some of this heavy atmosphere, Cid grins and wraps an arm around her waist.]

Not to worry, I'll be sure she rests as well.

[The tapir now looks at him suspiciously...before sighing.

"Please do! I don't want to see either of you back here again for a long time!"

"Now just stay there, we'll send you to the ship," the kirin speaks as a different aura of magic appears at their feet.]

We appreciate the help! Good luck and take care of yourselves as well.

[Benedikta only tips her head slightly in silent thanks, and she takes a deep breath when she feels that pull of magic starting at her feet and crawling up as it spreads. In an instant and a bright flash of light, they are standing on the deck of the ship that they had arrived on.

It doesn't take long for them to be returned to their bodies, and the Guardians were right—she does feel a little strange at first. While it isn't quite as bad as it could have been, she still feels some aches here and there, the attendants on the ship explaining it again as a result of them spending all that time in there, longer than what a normal soul would have been able to handle. Not exactly something that sits well with her, but she thanks them anyway.

After some insistence, though not much argument, they decide that their best course of action would be to head home to the Roost, where they can get the proper rest that they need. She can already feel it starting, and more than that, she wants to take them as far away from this place as possible after what they just experienced...

And as soon as they arrive home, she wastes no time in dragging him to their room so that they can fall together atop it, sinking into the thick blankets and the mattress. They lie side by side, facing each other, feet still slightly hanging off the edge of the bed as she brings a hand to his face, caressing his cheek before it moves to comb through his hair.]

How are you really feeling, Cidolfus?

[The travel time between the Farplane and to the Roost is honestly something of a blur to him. There was a lot on his mind, from when Benedikta was first taken by those souls; to that abomination and the cultists; to his time trapped within his own soul, held hostage by that ghost; to what he had to do to break himself out of it just enough to encourage Benedikta; and then the words left with them before they returned. So really, returning to their home and falling into bed was a blessing after it all.

It also means that when he feels her familiar touch and hears that familiar concern, he can't help but smile a bit ruefully up at her.]

...I feel like you've been asking me this question a lot recently.

I have.

[A pointed look, but it's more playful and out of concern than anything, as she leans in and kisses the crinkles at the corner of his eye when he smiles.]

Because I have been wanting to know the answer a lot recently. It seemed a decent place to start.

[His gaze lingers on hers before he lets out a small breath and closes his eyes, head falling back more fully against the pillow.]

In a word, tired.

[She shifts so that she's more in line with him when he falls back against the pillow, her brow pinching.]

And in not just a word...?

[A pause.]

What happened... when that soul took over you?

Too many words.

[A wry response with a small laugh at the end that breaks into a sigh. With his eyes still closed, his hand roughly runs over his face, pressing against his brows as he recalls it all.

Where would he even start?]

At first I had no idea what happened. One moment we were walking through that tunnel, the next everything went dark and I felt as if something punched me in the back of my head and knocked me out.

[She takes his wrist and gently pulls his hand away from his face so that she can see him.]

That is when it happened...? I'd wondered. You had started to act a little strange, but I thought that perhaps it was because you were tired. You—

[She pauses.]

They had insisted that you were fine.

[A grimace at that, and while he lets her move his hand away, he doesn't quite look at her.]

It was like... The last time.

[There's disgust and frustration at that.]

I had no idea what was going on, just this... Experience of floating in some cold, black void. Only this time it was more... Sinister. I couldn't move, like something was tying me down. It wasn't until I felt a jolt that I was able to "see" that woman who had taken over.

At that point it was almost like seeing Ultima all over again... The way her form kept shifting and changing to people I knew and then something else. The way she could read all my memories, my... History.

[He looks at her then, wearily.]

That must be how she could try to act like me.

[Her fingers continue to move in gentle, soothing movements over the lines of his face, the other over the back of his hand, while she listens to him carefully, her expression tightening the more he tells her.]

She had tried... but something was off. I only wish I had realized what it was sooner... that I had listened to my instincts.

[She is going to blame herself for that in the many days, weeks, months to come. It likely could have been avoided or fixed sooner before they had to go through all of that if she had.]

It was not just you that she had tried to act like, either...

[He looks at her then.]

What?

[She presses her lips together as she looks at him, before they part around a sigh. She knows she likely does not have to given everything now, but she still chooses her words carefully.]

She had attempted to use Barnabas against me, too. She must have been able to see deep into your memories, or perhaps... your feelings.

[A pause.]

It did not work, but... it was as though she were pulling everything about him from your memories. His personality and mannerisms. Tried to use them.

[His expression gradually darkens as she speaks before it ends with utter revulsion at the idea of himself acting like Barnabas. And to use it against her? A sickening weight churns in his stomach as he then recalls everything else that happened.]

If that's what happened...then that makes what I saw have a little more sense. Throughout that time I was trapped she acted like Ultima, telling me everything about my life like some kind of judge, and there was a point when she appeared like Barnabas to taunt me further. Perhaps that's when it happened to you.

[Another aggravated sigh and run of his hand over his face.]

I mostly ignored it, trying to tap into my powers or anything I could use—I could feel Ramuh with me, but it was if he remained dormant. I was also at a crossroads because I also knew she was trying to use it as well, so once I was able to break free somewhat I had to fight to keep that under control.

What...?

[She lifts her head up a little, horrified disbelief on her face.]

She taunted you, too?

[Something vengeful flashes through her eyes, anger flaring and making her heart rattle in her chest. She had destroyed that soul, or so she thinks, but perhaps she had deserved a far more gruesome death than that. Something slow and far more brutal is what she deserved.]

I do not know what she was trying to accomplish with that... it would only serve to anger anyone.

[And it worked on that front.]

Likely the same purpose as Ultima—weaken my resolve, hope that I would succumb to despair.

[A rough, short voice as he glares off somewhere in the distance before it all seems to fade like a candle blown in the wind.]

For a moment, it almost did.

[It feels like something is crushing her right now, and all she can do is lean in and press a kiss to the corner of his lips, hoping that it will soothe some of that ire and frustration and hopelessness that they both seem to be sharing in right now.]

I can only guess what was said to you, but... was it Ramuh who had broken you free of it?

[It's a question disguised as another question, a hopeful line forming over her lips.]

[This time her kiss does help soothe him a bit, and he looks at her for a moment before he leans in closer, arms going around her for a tight embrace as if seeking more of her as an anchor.]

...Somewhat.

[There's something of a conflicted expression there.]

Perhaps he was testing me, or he really had been suppressed by the ghost as well. But I was finally able to feel him pushing his aether into me, as if trying to jolt me back to reality. I'm not sure when it was for you, but that was when I able to start fighting back more fully.

And it was with his help that I was able to overpower the ghost long enough to control my body again.

[Yet he doesn't sound so happy about it. If anything he sounds resigned, regretful.]

[She thinks she knows why he harbours that resignation. He never was the sort to want to rely on his Eikon for anything, and having to see him admit that it had been a part of why he was able to free himself makes her heart hurt. Even as someone who had relied on her own for far too long, sometimes they do not give them a choice.

At that, however, she looks away from him, ashamed.]

I... I fear she might have managed to get into my head. I do not know if what I was seeing was a result of my own visions, or perhaps exhaustion, but...

[She hides in his neck, allowing herself to relax into that embrace.]

It was not until you had managed to gain control that... I could do something.

[He hugs her closer, knowing full well what she's feeling.]

It was difficult, I know. She was using what I knew about you... [A sigh.] I'm sorry.

[There is a pause, a silence that stretches for longer than it truly is.]

... You do not believe any of those things, do you?

What, about the things she was saying about me?

[However, with the way he answers in that tired, resigned way still is likely answer enough.]

[That response is a little surprising, though it should not be... Not with the way that he answers her. It makes her shift in his arms so that she can look at him from where she rests against his shoulder.]

I had meant about me, but...

[Her fingers graze over his chin, trying to turn him to look at her.]

That as well.

[There's a small look of surprise of his own.]

About you? No, I don't. She was only pulling from my memories...

[Although when he does think about some of it, he can't help but grimace a little.]

And perhaps I may have had some thoughts or opinions at one time or another.

[Which is only natural, given what happened.]

[She knew, but it still does not make her heart break any less. She knows better now, though, than to let it get to her too much...]

I know.

[It's soft and defeated, but her arms tighten around him anyway.]

She thought that what I wanted was for Barnabas in your body... She called me weak. Pathetic... That I could not save you.

[The first part he winces again because...that part he might have believed at one point. But then at that second part, his expression completely changes.]

Now that I did not believe.

[Unlike before, his words come out with no hesitation and is adamant, almost angry at the idea that that was what she heard...and coming from his mouth, hells.]

I knew you would have trouble, but I never once believed you wouldn't be able to find the strength and save me. Those were her words, not mine.

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✨ timeskip ✨

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