escordvi | closed ⚡🪶 and forevermore, i'll be chasing the storm we had.

[The moment she feels his fingers tighten around hers, she prepares to snatch her hand back, and she almost does were it not for the way he pulls her so firmly towards him and wraps his arm around her. She stiffens at the contact, out of both surprise and out of regret. He thinks that this is about him when in reality...

It shouldn't be.]

I know.

[Only it is. It is about him. About both of them. When did it become about them and not the seamstress that they were supposed to kidnap and bring back like she was some mule? Like some...slave?

While she doesn't push him back right away, her eyes closing against his voice that buries itself deep in her, she doesn't relax either. Doesn't return the gesture. What she needs right now isn't a promise from him or his embrace... what she needs is space to sort through her thoughts and why she feels the way that she does. Space so that she does not ruin this...

When the fuck did she start caring so much anyway?

It won't be her hands that shove him back, but a wind that erupts between them. It's strong enough that it sends him skidding backwards along the deck of the boat, knocking him into the lounge again. Among the spray of water and the gust whipping at his face, he'll hear the sound of wings unfolding, beating once, and when they die away, she's gone...]

[When he starts to feel her aether stirring—]

Don't—

[—but it's no use. There's a shout as he's pushed back, grimacing when he hits the lounge as his hand immediately goes to his side, feeling a heat spreading through the bandages. But he doesn't care as he pushes himself up.]

Benedikta!

[Even before the winds die down he rushes forward, shouting after her as he stares up into the dark, moonless sky. For a moment his aether gathers around him as if he would try to prime and chase after her—]

Fuck!

[—but instead it discharges from the fist that punches the sail mast, crackle of purple and blue lightning flashing before it dissipates into the air and he's left with only the sound of the disturbed water waves lapping against the boat and the cold wind that carries the last traces of her.

He stands like that for a moment before he staggers back to the lounge, ignoring the small drops of blood that seep through the bandage and flops onto it, hand running over his face.

The hand that once held hers.

Her words echo through his mind, overlapping with those of the past. And while things are markedly different... How much longer will they be so chained by their past? And what can he do to help her?

Can he?

It will be a while before he finally changes out his bandages and sails back to Nogard, making his way to his apartment. He actually stops in front of hers, but he knows she isn't there. She would have flown off somewhere far away where he cannot reach.

Just like always.

So he just goes to his apartment, Ashtail only looking up from her cat bed when he enters. It does spark a little smile, but he hisses when he tries to crouch down and pet her. Damn gash, it's not even that deep and yet it's still bothersome. It will only be after a quick shower, clean up, and redressing of his bandages that he sits at his desk, staring at his shellphone.

Knowing she wouldn't pick up if he tried to call, he finally sends one message:]

I'll be here when you need me.

[At the time he had been afraid she would fly off and leave him, but now that he's had a chance to cool his head, he knows she just needs the space and time to sort through herself. He just worries she's going twist herself into something else again...

Or that she really might be too scared to come back.

So he ends up staying up at his desk trying to do some work, not really feeling sleep coming to him. Not when he occasionally glances out the window or look out his door, especially when there is a rattle of wind or distant flap of wings. But whether it's the rum in his coffee, the mental exhaustion, or the physical exhaustion of the night, he ends up losing focus at some point and eventually falls asleep half sprawled over his desk, the last embers of the mostly finished smothered cigar fading, leaving the lamp desk in his room the only light in the otherwise dark apartment.]

Edited 2024-01-27 01:32 (UTC)

[And then she flew. She flew and she flew, her wings beating against the winds as hard as they would go because it is the only thing that keeps her mind focused. Keeps it from spiraling out of her control, or from straying too far into the past. Feeling the cold air on her face is the only thing that ever centers her, and for her feet being so far from it, it grounds her. Keeps her in the present when she'd rather thrust herself elsewhere.

She wishes that she could fly far away. As far as she could go, right to the edge of this world where no one would find her. If her wings could take her there, she would, but even if she flew as fast as possible, she would never make it. And tonight, with her aether depleted and her heart exhausted, she doesn't get as far as she wishes. She makes it to Nogard safely, perching herself upon the highest point of the dragon's spine where not a soul would see her and remains there, grateful to the night for hiding the moon.

She doesn't even want to think right now. She doesn't want to go back to that place that she knows she will go to—to that place where fear commands her every move, every choice. That place where she sought love but could never find it in the darkness of his eyes. A place where the rattling chains were the only sound in her otherwise empty, hollow heart.

Something that she has tried to deny and deny for so long, only for it to rear its head on her again tonight.

Something that she is not so sure she can continue to fly away from for much longer. Not after seeing the fear in that woman's eyes, or after feeling that desperate need to take her as far away from that same place as possible.

Is this what it felt like, she wonders?

Her eyes rest on the apartments on the other end of the city where she knows he is. How? She couldn't say, but she knows.

Which is why, after several hours, when it is far later into the night than it she has any right to be flying about, she lets her wings unfurl again and she soars to his window. Really, it's a terrible idea, but when has anything they do now ever been a good one?

Besides... She has not forgotten his words.

"Should you ever need it, you can always fly and rest your wings with me."

And now, her wings are weary and in need of rest.

Well into the night, when the lamp on his desk is the only light left and she wonders if he is still awake, there is a light tap on his window, but there is nothing in sight.]

Edited 2024-01-27 01:58 (UTC)

[Usually he's a light sleeper, but as his body's natural healing has started to kick in, he's fallen a bit deeper so there's no initial response as he continues to sleep.]

[...?

Benedikta had thought to stay out of sight so she wouldn't startle him should he glance to his window, but when there's no answer...

She flits over in front of the window and peers inside, and he's fortunately left the curtains open. She can see him hunched over his desk, but is he asleep or just so absorbed in his work that he doesn't hear her? She can't tell from here.

So, she raps on the window a little harder and faster. It's cold out here!]

[ZzzzzzzZZzz—!

The harder rap gets his attention, and for a moment he starts upright looking around before turning his head to the window above his bed...]

Bene—!

[There's a loud swear when he topples out of his chair while trying to turn and get out of it at once, so he'll briefly disappear from view as he hits the ground.

There will be a moment before she'll the muffled—]

...I'm all right.

[—and he slowly grabs the edge of the chair to pull himself up, wincing as he feels the still healing wound screaming at him. Rubbing his side, he makes his way over, one knee on the bed as he undoes the lock and opens the window.]

[What the—?

So, he was asleep? Had he been up waiting for her to show, or deep in thought? The old fool, and she can't help but look on, her glowing blue eyes going wide before they turn a bit more helpless and exasperated. Maybe a little guilty for waking him, but in her defense, it's hard to tell from his window.

Her brow wrinkles when she hears the muffled sound of his reassurance, but all of that completely disappears the moment he rushes over and opens the window for her.

Her wings carry her closer to the ledge where her fingers slowly curl over it, and she stares up at him...

...

....

And can't bring herself to say a word now that she's here.]

[He stares at her for a moment, the cooler air passing between them as he also isn't sure what to say at first. But then he just smiles his usual smile and tips his head back.]

Going to come in or stay out there?

... You were asleep?

[She rises slowly, her eyes never leaving his, but as soon as her feet touch the windowsill, her wings disappear, hair brushing in the aether that dissipates with them.

But even with his invitation, she remains where she is, half inside, half outside still, as if she's still not sure whether she could. Or should.]

Just a dozed off for a bit.

[And since she still seems to be hesitating...

He's going to hold out his hand to her and shift to the side to give her more space. Come on now.]

[...

....

She really shouldn't accept his hand after all that. Hell, he shouldn't have offered it to her in the first place. What did she do to deserve him even opening his window after all of that?

She wishes that she could blame him, and for a while, she might have thought about it as she flew, but now that she's here and he wears that easy smile he always does, it's hard to find any reason to be upset with him. Even harder to find a reason not to take his hand.

So, after a few more heartbeats, she finally does, her fingers slipping over his and her feet hopping down from the ledge, a wind following her inside.]

... And I woke you.

[This is her way of saying she's sorry, along with the little squeeze of her fingers around his hand.]

It's all right, better that you did. Would have woken up with a bad back if I stayed like that.

[A wry grin as he looks at her, his hand still holding hers.]

I was awake for a while, anyway.

[Waiting.]

[Waiting.

She knows.

There are many habits that still have not changed from long ago.]

I thought you were up scribbling away at your plans again.

[And now she's just awkwardly holding his hand, not quite sure what to do, what to say, where to go... how to start.]

... What were you working on?

Not too far off. Just some ideas on how to improve a few things.

[Vague... Really he didn't focus much on the papers he had taken out and he ended up starting to try and piece together the information they had about that "owner" and sent off a few texts to some of his men to try and look into it.

But then after that there wasn't much else he could do other than wait. Only belatedly he recalls what he ended up "working on" and he can only hope in his haste the paper got covered up—]

And you?

[He looks at her carefully, his voice softening a little.]

[She doesn't know why she even asked. To fill the void before an uncomfortable silence could take its place? It's not as if she doesn't care about his projects, more that she doesn't understand them. She knows of them, but her knowledge doesn't span much further past that for a reason.

But when he turns the question around on her, he'll feel her fingers stiffen in his before she eventually pulls away. She doesn't go far, however—only to turn to the window to close it. It's a perfectly good excuse to turn her back to him.]

Nothing.

[Well, it's not a lie. She's not working on anything, but she knows that isn't what he meant. Why is this so difficult now!?]

I sat atop Nogard's spine a while.

The spine?

[...Hm. Mental note for potential places to search for her in the future.]

What was the view like from up there?

[Is he deliberately not asking her specific questions that he knows are on her mind? Yes. But mostly because he's trying to coax her to tell her on her own terms and in her own time.

The fact that she came to him within the same night... It's already speaking volumes of how far they've come when he would have needed to expect several days.]

[She can sense what he's doing just as easily, and she does appreciate that he's going along with it. She's not quite ready to broach the subject yet. She's still getting used to the fact that she's grounded here. That she took him up on his word...]

The best view of Nogard there is.

[Her fingers run along the edges of the window, her eyes watching his reflection in the glass.]

... I could show you another time.

Hmm...

[A wry grin.]

Another outing perhaps?

[She sees that grin in his reflection, and any normal day, she would want to smack that thing right off his face, but tonight...

Tonight, she appreciates it.

Tonight, it can stay.]

I'd hardly call it one. Just a trip up to the spine so you can see for yourself.

[But she does think of those crepes that they talked about.]

As long as you are not afraid of heights, that is.

Think I've been higher than that without issue.

[Thanks to her—but also thanks to his Eikon, for better or worse.

But then he looks at her, and while this is nice... Through that same reflection he can see the hard, weariness, the sag in her shoulders, and he'll close the distance a little, leaning up besides her with his hand just lightly touching hers.]

...But that will be for another time. For now, how about you wash up...and you can stay with me tonight.

[Her fingers twitch again at his touch, almost like they are reaching out for his, but they never quite close that distance completely. She does, however, shift around to face him, his suggestion making her heart sink a little with more guilt. Is this a feeling she's going to need to start getting used to? Because she's certainly felt it plenty in one night.

Eyes move up to meet his, a silent plea within them.]

You're sure?

[She really could use a wash... a hot shower to get the cold sea salt off her skin, and maybe with it, she can shed these feelings, too. And she had made no plans... hell, she hadn't really thought about much on her way here. All she knew was that this was where she wanted to be. Everything else that came before or after that didn't matter.]

[When her eyes finally meets his, that distance between them will swiftly close as his lips brush over hers for a very soft, gentle, little kiss.]

Aye.

[The words are soft as his eyes remain on hers.]

Stay with me.

[Unlike other times, there's no suggestive heat in his voice. Instead the quiet passion that is carried is gentler and more for soothing; coaxing her. All he wants is for her to be with him and not be alone.]

[He need not do anything to coax her to stay. She had already made up her mind the moment she had flown off from his boat, his absence immediately felt when her hand had grown cold and that feeling only grew and grew until she couldn't bear it anymore and she flew to his window. Is she perhaps falling onto his shoulders a little too much? Using him as a crutch when she would otherwise stumble too much?

Maybe, but... what if she wants to? What if she not only needs him, but wants him to be here?

...

She closes her eyes against his lips, a bit more of that tension releasing from her shoulders, and while her heart still churns with conflict, his plea stems that feeling just long enough for her to steal another searching kiss from him.]

I want to...

[But she's still not so sure that she deserves this after what happened. She pulls back anyway, a small, guilty laugh escaping her.]

I need a shower.

[A soft grin as he brushes his thumb over hers before pulling back.]

Go ahead. You can borrow one of my shirts.

[Which he knows she enjoys stealing—]

Need anything else? Coffee, tea...

[With a shake of her head, she slowly runs her hands over her chest, stopping when she reaches the fresh bandages on his side. She stares at the wound for a moment, her fingers trembling again, that anger bubbling...]

No. Just... [And with a slow, steadying breath, her voice grows so quiet she wonders if she's even said it aloud at all.] ...you.

Edited 2024-01-27 17:37 (UTC)

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>>> later that night, at cid's apartment

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