escordvi | closed 🪶⚡ i'll be the light to lead you home

[She comes out of hiding so that she can kiss him, hoping that it will help chase away that tension that they are both feeling. Or, at the very least, reassure them both that things are okay now. Better.]

Even after all these years, it seems he knows exactly how to get to me.

[That he has always been her weakness. Even when they were apart, she could feel her walls start to crumble at the mere thought of him, and of them.]

Every time, it was always you.

[There's a heavy pause.]

But I wonder if perhaps it worked...

[It does help a little, though it would take a while before some of that edge to fully dissipate. Especially when her words do little to really assuage those feelings, making him look at her with some guilt before it's his turn to kiss her.]

...But it didn't.

[He doesn't want to entertain that idea. Hell, he already had to go through it, watching her lose herself... He doesn't need that reminder.]

[She wishes that she could say with certainty that he is right, but...]

I felt her, Cidolfus.

[Fear edges its way back into her expression again in spite of her best efforts to keep it at bay. Her heart races in her chest, and she tries so very hard to remain rooted here with him, and to not let her mind wander to places she would rather it did not go. Places further within herself to make that discovery.]

For the first time, when we had semi-primed... [That realization still has yet to sink in as well.] She was there.

[He frowns a little at that before he just continues to hold her close and try to soothe her in his own way.]

Yet you still remained in control.

I did...yes...

[She chews on the inside of her lip, fingers trembling a little as her nails dig gently into his skin because admitting this next part is difficult for her. That will never change.]

But I am still afraid.

[Her Eikon is ever the precarious one. One small tip out of balance and she could easily destroy half the world again. The only other time she had been this afraid of Garuda was when she had first awakened as her Dominant all those years ago.]

I know this is not an easy thing for you... And perhaps you'll always have that fear of her. Honestly, having some is for the best. Better to be on your guard than overconfident and complacent.

[He then brings his hand to her cheek, pulling her a little so that looks up at him.]

You just need to remember that you are stronger than her. Whether it's keeping control or some kind of mutual agreement, you've already proven that you can resist.

[Overconfident and complacent... Just like she had been for a long time that she had forgotten just how fearsome the Eikons truly are.

She does her best to take his words to heart and believe in them, but when she taps inside herself, searches her aether, it becomes difficult when she can feel that power stirring inside her. A power that she does not wish to unleash again any time soon upon the world and, more importantly, upon herself. The stone at her back prickles in reminder of that.]

I suppose you are right.

[Her voice is a quiet mumble as she lets her eyes meet his and they betray her, still carrying that fear and that uncertainty.]

Ever the wise one, aren't you?

[A light teasing.]

I think she'd had enough of Ultima's games, too. I do not think she enjoys being manipulated either.

Perhaps that's why Ramuh chose me.

[Hah.

But his thumb will gently stroke the corner of her eye as he can see the fear she tries to hide.]

But I do mean it, Benna, and I also believe in you. I had no doubt that you would be able to get through whatever illusion Ultima trapped you in at the time. I still have that faith in you now.

[Now, as they are. It's true in their past it would have been more questionable, doubtful. She was on a perch made of glass then, so easy to crumble and fall. But here, he can see her making her own perch, her own footing, with or without his support.]

And I'll always be here to help you.

[But of course, he knows that she still needs him, still relies on him—and he'll give her whatever she needs so long as she does not fall into the trap of solely depending on him. He doesn't want him to turn into a different kind of crutch that makes her fall.]

[That is the thing, isn't it... Another precarious balance that she is still learning how to strike. Benedikta has always wished for someone that she could rely on, someone who could take care of her after a life of having no one, and her greatest fear continues to be losing all of that. She is still trying to figure out that balance so for now, she continues to lean on him, continues to need him, to fall into his arms when she feels herself stumbling...

He is the only person that she trusts could catch her should she fall again, and it will take time before she is no longer scared of it happening again.

Her eyes close against his thumb, her cheek pressing into his palm, seeking the warmth and the comfort of him there.]

... I know.

[She knows that for certain now.]

I often wish I could be that version of myself again. The one who was unafraid of things...

[Yes, she could walk into a room with all the confidence in the world, but she feels that glass starting to strain under the weight of it all.]

Perhaps I could have stood more firmly against Ultima. [But as she looks down at him, her eyes soften, and there's a firm resolution to her voice.] ... Thank you, Cidolfus.

[There's a small smile at that before he leans in to kiss her more gently on the lips, trying to give her a bit more of that reassurance.]

No need to thank me, love. But rather than wish to be what you used to be...you can try to be someone new. Build off of it so that you can be even stronger.

I know you can.

... I am trying.

[She is going to thank him anyway, this time silently with another kiss, this one brimming with her gratitude. It's moments like this that she remembers one of the many reasons she fell in love with him all over again. How she cannot fathom her life without him now...

To have someone believe in her so unconditionally and so unwaveringly... it can be too much sometimes, and as she feels those emotions welling up in her chest, her heart growing tight, she lets herself relax against him with a quiet sob of relief. More and more, the weights continue to feel lifted, but there are still so many that remain.]

You have taught me a lot.

Edited 2024-11-18 05:33 (UTC)

[He just closes his eyes as he nuzzles the top of her head, hugging her close.]

And you always inspire me.

Hardly.

[She buries her face into the crook of his neck again, that breath of her laughter tickling his skin.]

I should like to ask you someday of how I do so because I find that hard to believe.

[For all the bolstered confidence in her, there are ten other places where she isn't so confident.

... Or maybe she just likes fishing for his compliments.]

Edited 2024-11-18 05:45 (UTC)

You don't want to hear them now?

[He'll tease her a little with his lips, brushing them over her temple near her ear.]

[That provokes a much-needed peal of laughter from her, and it helps to loosen some of the ache in her chest.]

We might be here all night if I do, will we not?

[More teasing.]

As if we won't be already?

[He continues to smile fondly against her. But just as he's about to say more, it will be his stomach that decides to speak out, a quite loud grooOWoowoWwlwlL disrupting their cute little moment.]

[That is true enough. She had no plans of leaving or letting him leave their quarters until they arrived home, so he is stuck with her for the night.

Her giggles halt when the sound of his stomach rumbling unceremoniously interrupts their moment, and she pulls back to look at him, a brow raised in surprise.]

My, my... Will I need to contact someone to bring us a proper meal, Cidolfus?

[There's just a bit of a rueful laugh at that.]

I can't even the last we've eaten, so it might not be such a bad idea. I'm sure you would need it, too.

[As his eyes drift down to her stomach, as if waiting to see it join in the chorus like it tends to do.]

Edited 2024-11-18 07:14 (UTC)

[She sees the way he glances down at her stomach.]

It was not mine that grumbled this time. [For once...] I had asked someone to bring us up a platter of snacks that could be left out, but I suppose it would not hurt if—

[And there it goes, her stomach giving a good grroooowwwwllll.

And before he can say a word about it...]

It is only because you brought it up...!

[He just laughs at that before he starts to sit up.]

Think we'll need more than snacks.

[There's a shine in his eyes as he knows she was about to suggest a proper meal. Though as he moves, he winces a bit, feeling the soreness around his shoulder.]

Could do for a bath as well.

[There's worry in her brow as she moves back, allowing him some room to sit up, biting back her own wince of pain when she feels the aches shoot through her. She takes a breath, lets it out in a sigh, and kicks her feet off the bed, rubbing the back of her neck.]

Agreed.

[She just kind of walked in here, undressed them, and dragged them straight into bed without much thought for anything else that needed to be done.]

I could call for some cheese and fruits? Perhaps some soup...

[As he rolls his shoulder and stretches a bit as he stands, he lets out a low hum.]

Mmm, aye all that sounds good. Don't need anything too heavy.

[She huffs quietly, remaining on the bed while she searches for her phone again among the sheets and slowly starts to type out a message to one of the ship's cooks to bring them some extra food before she slowly hobbles to the door to pick up what had already been left for them. Soon enough, they're eating their light chicken soup with some cheeses in mostly silence, with fruits for dessert that Benedikta will bring with them on a tray to the bathroom.

There, she draws their bath, a towel wrapped around her shoulders as she suddenly feels more self-conscious of the stone on her skin while she waits for him to join her, afraid to look at it in the mirror for fear that it's grown worse...]

[The meal was very much needed, even if it was a small one. There was still a lot to think about a lot to process—in many ways he's reminded of those days when it was after a major battle or mission. They became so commonplace it didn't really matter too much. Just take a day to decompress and then get ready for the next.

But what about now? What about here? He never thought he would be in this kind of position, and now that one of his biggest thorns has been removed, rather than feel elation, he just feels... Tired. Has he really grown so numb to not care so much anymore? Or has it not really hit yet that this is real? Will he wake up and it all turns out this was just a long dream?

Maybe he's afraid to believe it just yet.

It's with these thoughts that he undresses and readies himself for the bath, idly checking his arm as his hand runs over where it was once covered in stone. He still doesn't feel anything now, though as he flexes his wrist and forearm, he can't tell if the stiffness he feels is a phantom memory of the past or the curse advancing.

Soon he's ready and walks up behind her, hands going to her shoulders.]

All right?

[She's been quiet for the better part of the hour, quieter and quieter as they got closer to the bottoms of their bowls and the last of the platters. She usually does not fear the idea of a bath, but today, the thought of removing her smallclothes and this towel and seeing whether there has been any change has filled her with a dread so palpable that it seeps into the air. She had noticed Cid glancing down at his arm as well and seeing that does not make her feel much better about this.]

Mm.

[A small sound of a lie as she turns around to face him, a hand slipping out from under the towel to run over that arm of his, checking for stone that is not there.]

Just a little... nervous is all.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject