escordvi | closed 🪶⚡ i'll be the light to lead you home

[The sound of his laughter is like a song in her ears, and somehow, everything already feels so much lighter, all of it shoving away the other things that have been simmering in her head since she woke up. For now, she is happy to just lie in bed with him and talk about their future, however near or far it is, without the weight of the gods looming over them for the first time.]

Yes, there was that, too. Why can't I have both...?

[Another quiet chuckle, finding her desires cute.]

Let's see what the situation is, for both that island and our own. I'm sure we can find the time for it all in one way or another.

[He truly does spoil her... and she seeks out his lips for another sweet kiss. But when she pulls back, it's with a more somber, thoughtful expression.]

I... merely wish for some quiet after all of that. From everyone and... perhaps a little bit from myself.

[He savors that kiss, but when notices that change in expression, there will be just a slight furrow of his brows in concern as he gently brushes her hair back.]

We could always go to our island instead. Seems it's in a more temperate climate so it won't get too cold.

But how are you, really?

[Because she didn't really answer the first time don't think he didn't notice!!!]

With you and Garuda.

[She hoped he didn't notice!!!

But he is as observant with her as he always is, and her expression falls a little further at his question.]

I am...

[She doesn't quite know, and her hand goes to her chest, closing around the pendant when she tries to reach further into herself, to try and find her. Garuda...]

When I had fallen unconscious, did Ultima show you anything?

[It's not quite a deflection. More a lead-up into what it is she wants to tell him.]

[He does raise a skeptical eyebrow at that, but he'll answer...

...Slowly.]

...Somewhat.

[With a nonanswer.

And his eyes will linger on her face before slightly shifting away at that.]

[Her eyes study him, watching as his own drift away from her at his answer, which is very much not an answer indeed. While she does give him a questioning look, one that tells him she knows he is not telling her the whole truth, she will let him hide for now, but he should know that she is going to come back to this. So, with one last narrowing of her eyes, she sighs, and the pendant clinks softly in the silence as she fidgets with it.]

... I had been stuck in a dream. Some sort of vision that Ultima saw fit to put me under.

[He'll tell her...! But this is her thing not his.

Feeling the heat off him for now, he'll look back at her worried.]

What was it?

[Her brow furrows thoughtfully, and she feels like she's trying to remember a distant, foggy dream. It was anything but that, but after all that sleep, it feels so much further away now. And part of it is that she isn't sure how much to tell him, and how much of it she is afraid to tell him...]

It was always Garuda... and you...

[Those last two words come out strained as the vivid images return to her.]

The day that you had found me, and the day that I had primed... she... her claws...

[There's a moment where he can only look at her a little confused, brows furrow, before realization hits. Immediately his eyes widen and he sits up slightly.]

He showed you what!?

[IF ULTIMA WASN'T ALREADY DESTROYED HE WOULD HAVE GONE OVER AND PUNCHED JOSHUA'S CHEST—]

[Her hand goes to his chest to stay that anger, and she gently tries to coax him back down so that she can lay her head there again. They have already taken care of things and it was over, and angry as she was then about what he had done to her, she had let it all out, and then let it go. Something that she has a hard time doing most days, but she felt she needed to for this.

But it is good that he understands, because she couldn't quite bring herself to say the actual words.]

Each time, he made me watch. As if he had been taunting me for that day. [Her arms go around him, her hold tightening, and her eyes move to linger on the scar as she tries to think of a way to ask him about that.] You and I, we were falling through the sky again just like we had, only it was... my claws...

[She'll find it quite difficult to have him settle back down, though he will slowly recline back. But his arms will be tight around her, that pensive, almost murderous air around him not so fast to disappear. And how could it? Knowing that Ultima used what happened to them to traumatize her further...especially when it's those traumas and fears that have kept her in that cage for so long. even worse when it's clear he's her weakness just as she is his.]

Enough, you don't have to say anymore.

[And he says that not for his sake, but hers. While on the one hand maybe it's better if she tells it, he can't really bear the idea of her suffering through it again.]

Cidolfus...

[She knows why he says that, but the way she whispers his name carries the hidden meaning behind it. The "it's okay" that she doesn't say. That perhaps this is something that she needs to voice and get out of her head in order to process it properly, and he is the only person that she trusts with it.

So before he can protest any further, she goes on, her words carefully chosen and coming slow as her fingers begin to trace over the raised skin of his scar.]

In that dream, I'd nearly transformed into Garuda myself. Her wings had split me open, and it hurt...

[She's afraid.]

[He wants to protest, still not liking, but... If this is what she wants to do, he has to respect that. So there's just a low exhale as he listens, a hand now gently stroking her hair.]

But what happened?

[She said "nearly"...]

After that?

[She scoffs, the sound much like a dry laugh, before she answers simply:]

I destroyed that vision of him. I'd had enough of him trying to manipulate me, and so I took Garuda's claw and crushed him.

[Crushed is a bit of an understatement.]

Edited 2024-11-18 02:11 (UTC)

[There is some relief there to know she was able to pull through it, but he still hugs her close.]

I knew you could.

[And she lets him, her body melting into his, but it won't let him see the more thoughtful expression on her face, and the fear that flickers across it. He may feel the tension that suddenly snaps up to her shoulders instead.]

I think... he was trying to force me to prime. Again.

[There will be a tension of his own there, a moment where he grits his teeth.]

Should have punched the bastard harder.

[And then a sigh.]

And he was using me for it, too, aye?

[She comes out of hiding so that she can kiss him, hoping that it will help chase away that tension that they are both feeling. Or, at the very least, reassure them both that things are okay now. Better.]

Even after all these years, it seems he knows exactly how to get to me.

[That he has always been her weakness. Even when they were apart, she could feel her walls start to crumble at the mere thought of him, and of them.]

Every time, it was always you.

[There's a heavy pause.]

But I wonder if perhaps it worked...

[It does help a little, though it would take a while before some of that edge to fully dissipate. Especially when her words do little to really assuage those feelings, making him look at her with some guilt before it's his turn to kiss her.]

...But it didn't.

[He doesn't want to entertain that idea. Hell, he already had to go through it, watching her lose herself... He doesn't need that reminder.]

[She wishes that she could say with certainty that he is right, but...]

I felt her, Cidolfus.

[Fear edges its way back into her expression again in spite of her best efforts to keep it at bay. Her heart races in her chest, and she tries so very hard to remain rooted here with him, and to not let her mind wander to places she would rather it did not go. Places further within herself to make that discovery.]

For the first time, when we had semi-primed... [That realization still has yet to sink in as well.] She was there.

[He frowns a little at that before he just continues to hold her close and try to soothe her in his own way.]

Yet you still remained in control.

I did...yes...

[She chews on the inside of her lip, fingers trembling a little as her nails dig gently into his skin because admitting this next part is difficult for her. That will never change.]

But I am still afraid.

[Her Eikon is ever the precarious one. One small tip out of balance and she could easily destroy half the world again. The only other time she had been this afraid of Garuda was when she had first awakened as her Dominant all those years ago.]

I know this is not an easy thing for you... And perhaps you'll always have that fear of her. Honestly, having some is for the best. Better to be on your guard than overconfident and complacent.

[He then brings his hand to her cheek, pulling her a little so that looks up at him.]

You just need to remember that you are stronger than her. Whether it's keeping control or some kind of mutual agreement, you've already proven that you can resist.

[Overconfident and complacent... Just like she had been for a long time that she had forgotten just how fearsome the Eikons truly are.

She does her best to take his words to heart and believe in them, but when she taps inside herself, searches her aether, it becomes difficult when she can feel that power stirring inside her. A power that she does not wish to unleash again any time soon upon the world and, more importantly, upon herself. The stone at her back prickles in reminder of that.]

I suppose you are right.

[Her voice is a quiet mumble as she lets her eyes meet his and they betray her, still carrying that fear and that uncertainty.]

Ever the wise one, aren't you?

[A light teasing.]

I think she'd had enough of Ultima's games, too. I do not think she enjoys being manipulated either.

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